Ever caught letting off some knuckle children

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

cant say i have. when i was 12 or 13, one of my friends was cought, by another friend!!!! we wouldnt let it die for ages.

The Bollox

what kind of poll option is 'Playstation 3'? get with the times, hippie!

and no, I haven't been caught because the most strained muscle you use while **** is your ears... so you know if someone's coming (lol) up the stairs

cance

Melissa Big Bus wrote:

one of my friends was cought

dont lie. it was you.

T-Boner

Have I ever been caught, yes.... But on purpose

Owen

God yes. Got caught by my Mum. Tugging away furiously, and when I finished, opened my eyes and my laundry was in the room.

The Bollox

ned78 wrote:

God yes. Got caught by my Mum. Tugging away furiously, and when I finished, opened my eyes and my laundry was in the room.

that is, without a doubt, one of the funniest things I have ever read on Boards

0ubliette

I did once yeah. Man it was ****ing embarrasing! Not soemthing i ever want toh appen again! I came home early from school, was about 16 or so. Noone was at home, the ma was at work, so was the da. I was walkin past my sisters bedroom, the door was open and saw a pair of her knickers on her bed, kind of a thong/frilly thing. Being a horny 16yr old i couldnt help myself, i was intruigued, so i took them into my room, started whacking off with them wrapped around the old todger, i got a bit carried away and sadly didnt notice that a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighbourhood, i got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said 'you're moving with you're auntie and uncle in bel aire!', i whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said 'FRESH' and it had dice in the mirror, if anything i could say that this cab was rare, but i thought nah forget it, yo home to bel aire! I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and i yelled to the cabbie, yo home, smell you later! Looked at my kingdom i was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of bel aire.

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

ned78 wrote:

God yes. Got caught by my Mum. Tugging away furiously, and when I finished, opened my eyes and my laundry was in the room.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!:o im nearly after having a fit!!!!! to words come to mind YOU LOSE!!!!! at least you had somthing clean to wipe up with after:p

grumpytrousers

ned78 wrote:

God yes. Got caught by my Mum. Tugging away furiously, and when I finished, opened my eyes and my laundry was in the room.

the version of the urban myth i've heard is "opened my eyes and there was a nice cup of tea by my bed"

Steve_o

ned78 wrote:

God yes. Got caught by my Mum. Tugging away furiously, and when I finished, opened my eyes and my laundry was in the room.

lol:D

OP: no!

Riesen_Meal

My mate was caught by his mam only recently (he's 23!)

His mam walked in as his tv was on about 5am (he was asleep) so she went to turn it off, she was horrified to see some Jenna Haze video in a loop on his 360 and he was out cold asleep with his wang still in his hand at the time...

Dopey git!

He even told his lil sister about it and she thought it was hilarious!

Duggy747

Ah, I remember your story Oubliette. You posted the same thing in PI, eh? Filthy todger ya!

I've never been caught, my ears are too good for that!

Ishmael

Never been caught doing it but I'm sure people have suspected what i was doing cause i usually lock the door.

Mossy Monk

Knuckle children?

Caught four times. Twice by my mother, once by my brother and once by my sister. Very awkward.

Glowing

Fieldog wrote:

His mam walked in as his tv was on about 5am (he was asleep) so she went to turn it off, she was horrified to see some Jenna Haze video in a loop on his 360 and he was out cold asleep with his wang still in his hand at the time...

rubadub

Mossy Monk wrote:

Knuckle children?

Caught four times. Twice by my mother, once by my brother and once by my sister. Very awkward.

for fecks sake! I never would have done it again after the mother caught me the first time! Would have cut it off after the second time.

What did they say to you? did they see everything?

Duggy747

Mossy Monk wrote:

Caught four times. Twice by my mother, once by my brother and once by my sister. Very awkward.

Four times by your family? Goddamn, they must think you're a very lonely, or horny, person. I'd cut it off if I ever got caught by someone in the family, embarassement would kill me!

I've never heard the phrase Knuckle Children so I thought the thread was about being caught smacking a child. Be much more interesting

flogen

Mossy Monk's a well-known danger-wánker; he cracks one off in high-risk situations (like under the dinner table) so that's why his catch rate is so high.

I've (thankfully) never been caught.

GhostInTheRuins

A few times myself, and a few others that were very close so I'm sure it looked quite suspicious

nice1franko

a mate came home locked and put on a porno and fell asleep with his bags round the ankles and knob in hand and his ma found him like that the next morn going to work.

Owen

grumpytrousers wrote:

the version of the urban myth i've heard is "opened my eyes and there was a nice cup of tea by my bed"

Yeah, I've heard that one a hundred times before too, the difference is, I had to spend the next fortnight avoiding any eye contact with my Mother

Nailz

Never did it, ever. But its pretty damn fecking funny reading all these!

nice1franko

^^^^
98% of blokes are **** and 2% are liars.

_blank_

Nailz wrote:

Never did it, ever.

You've never masturbated?

Or you've never been caught.

Myself, I was never caught.

Agamemnon

I was never caught either but one of my friends was when he was about 13. We called around to his house but he wouldn't answer the door. We peeked in the window and saw him choking the chicken to the Flintstones cartoon, the weirdo. To this day, we still sing the Flintstones theme to him or shout "Yabba Dabba Doo!" and it wrecks his head.

flogen

flogen wrote:

Mossy Monk's a well-known danger-wánker; he cracks one off in high-risk situations (like under the dinner table) so that's why his catch rate is so high.

I've (thankfully) never been caught.

A danger-wánker hahahaha:D

Mossy Monk

rubadub wrote:

What did they say to you? did they see everything?

Thankfully nothing was ever seen but what do you say to someone after you catch them ****? It is very eerie. Kind of like half an hour of nothing then "hey what's for dinner?"

The Bollox

agamemnon wrote:

I was never caught either but one of my friends was when he was about 13. We called around to his house but he wouldn't answer the door. We peeked in the window and saw him choking the chicken to the Flintstones cartoon, the weirdo. To this day, we still sing the Flintstones theme to him or shout "Yabba Dabba Doo!" and it wrecks his head.

well Wilma does were a very revealing dress.

this actually reminds me of the conversation Lister and The Cat have in Red Dwarf

Lister: "do you think Wilma's sexy?"
The Cat: "Wilma Flintstone?"
Lister: "yeah"
The Cat: "in all probability, Wilms Flintstone is the most desirable woman that ever lived"
Lister: "and what about Betty?"
The Cat: "Betty Rubble?"
Lister: "yeah"
The Cat: "well I would go with Betty, but I'd be thinking about Wilma"

classic moment

Agamemnon

The Bollox wrote:

well Wilma does were a very revealing dress.

True, but maybe he was dedicating the **** to one of the dinosaurs or fantasising about Barney Rubble giving him a good rogering with a club. He should have been **** to Rogue from the X-Men cartoons instead.

Terry

nice1franko wrote:

a mate came home locked and put on a porno and fell asleep with his bags round the ankles and knob in hand and his ma found him like that the next morn going to work.

The joys of the post-nightclub ****.
I've been caught like that a couple of times myself.

Living alone for the past 5 years has solved that problem.

CantGetNoSleep

is there not a game called mam or something?

you have to call yer ma when ur **** and see if you can finish before she gets to you

Anti

Never been caught rubbing one out myself. Thank ****. How could you look into that persons eyes again?

GhostInTheRuins

CantGetNoSleep wrote:

is there not a game called mam or something?

you have to call yer ma when ur **** and see if you can finish before she gets to you

WTF?

Agamemnon

Anti wrote:

Never been caught rubbing one out myself. Thank ****. How could you look into that persons eyes again?

The trick is to aim a burst of molten ejaculate right into that person's eyes as they catch you and blind them. Problem solved.

Wacker

agamemnon wrote:

The trick is to aim a burst of molten ejaculate right into that person's eyes as they catch you and blind them. Problem solved.

Charming!

trout

A friend of mine was caught late one night, with his trollies down doing the penguin walk to some gonzo porn on the family TV.

He was right on the vinegar strokes, when his mother walks in screaming. The worst part, as he tells it, is he came all over the TV while it was showing a close up of one of the actor's rear ends ... it's bad enough to be caught red-handed, but for your mum to see you ejaculate on a screened image of another man's hairy a$$ must be hard to live with. Not the best situation for a grown man of 25.

He moved out soon after, and relations have been frosty ever since.

The Bollox

CantGetNoSleep wrote:

is there not a game called mam or something?

you have to call yer ma when ur **** and see if you can finish before she gets to you

I heard of it before, but never tried it. aparently it's brilliant as your adrenaline is flowing

Jesus Wept

PS3??

Another poll not worthy of a vote.

Splinter

na never been caught... mother thought she caught me doing it... turns out i was just hiding vodka in my room

Steve_o

splinter wrote:

na never been caught... mother thought she caught me doing it... turns out i was just hiding vodka in my room

Whats worrying is that was the first conclusion Your ma jumped too....

Siogfinsceal

trout wrote:

A friend of mine was caught late one night, with his trollies down doing the penguin walk to some gonzo porn on the family TV.

He was right on the vinegar strokes, when his mother walks in screaming. The worst part, as he tells it, is he came all over the TV while it was showing a close up of one of the actor's rear ends ... it's bad enough to be caught red-handed, but for your mum to see you ejaculate on a screened image of another man's hairy a$$ must be hard to live with. Not the best situation for a grown man of 25.

He moved out soon after, and relations have been frosty ever since.

thats brilliant - pricless!

Dudess

LMFAO!!!

Between the Flintstones thing, the "mam" game and the guy cuming just as some bloke's arse appeared on the screen and his mam seeing it... I'm all lolled out!!!

I remember in Irish college, some poor little lad of 11 or 12 (the youngest there) got caught by his room-mates. They wouldn't shut up about it. Poor little fella was so upset. Those other guys were obviously just super relieved it wasn't them.

How come nobody ever asks girls if they've been caught? (note to lots of guys: females can masturbate)

CSG, do you've any stories to tell??

_blank_

Dudess wrote:

CSG, do you've any stories to tell??

Do you?:rolleyes:

Dudess

You've lost me. What was that :rolleyes: smiley about?

No I've been interupted though by a roomate coming home

As The bollox says the most used muscle while helping yourself is your ears

Dudess

Mossy Monk wrote:

what do you say to someone after you catch them ****? It is very eerie. Kind of like half an hour of nothing then "hey what's for dinner?"

Tee hee hee!!!

trout wrote:

He moved out soon after, and relations have been frosty ever since.

Ah you're taking the piss? Thought most mothers would understand that it's perfectly healthy, but I suppose there are a few still downtrodden by their fire and brimstone upbringing.

coolsmileygirl wrote:

As The bollox says the most used muscle while helping yourself is your ears

Yep, and boy did I learn that. I was idiot enough to have earphones on once so naturally I wasn't going to hear my cousin walking in.:eek: Ah well...

Spud83

Dudess wrote:

Yep, and boy did I learn that. I was idiot enough to have earphones on once so naturally I wasn't going to hear my cousin walking in.:eek: Ah well...

Is it just me or does everyone want to know what she was listening too?

FlutterinBantam

Im a bit jealous of the females as they do not "display" as much evidence when indulging in a little bit of "gusset typing".You can do it somewhat more discreetly.

Its much easier to crack one off, as the evidence is not so apparent.

Its much more difficult to hide a raging boner lookin up at you like a sheeps head and ready to spud out!!!

Ye women have it every way!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:

Dudess

Those are all very true points, Bantam. It is indeed much easier to be subtle about it if you're female.

alanmurphy83, good question. I remember it well. 'Twas 1993, I was 15 and I was listening to a rather noisy girl group called Babes in Toyland. Didn't have anything to do with my, ahem, recreational pursuit (although they were very feminist and stuff and would have been going on about the clitoris quite a lot, so maybe it was subliminal).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babes_in_Toyland_%28band%29

Duggy747

alanmurphy83 wrote:

Is it just me or does everyone want to know what she was listening too?

Probably something from Barry White or Isaac Hayes, crooney bastards.

If TV has thought me anything is that when a girl is caught masturbating by someone then an unholy, vicious session of sex breaks out with a third guy ,probably with a name like "Sir Cums-Alot!", joining in to finish the job. Much penetration ensues!

Spud83

Ah I just looked up dome photos of that band, and their the name is very mis leading. They are not what I would consider babes and I didn't see one toy anywhere. Anyway thanks for sharing your self pleasure music with us... I think thats a different thread though.