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Ever caught letting off some knuckle children

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12467…10

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    #92
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    thrill wrote:
    It was probably more like this.....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX_5zIXxKEU


    Never been caught myself. I cant even remember a close shave.
    Jesus ****ing christ. That's freaky.

    Anyway, The Bollox, how's your ma doing?


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    #93
    bronte
    Registered Users Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    Fieldog, I'm fairly sure I know your friend you mentioned in the first page of this post! Heard that story bout him too!


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    #94
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Pighead wrote:
    Pighead doesn't masturbate.:cool:
    Not even when fantasising about/looking at pictures of Beruthiel?


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    #95
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Dudess wrote:
    Not even when fantasising about/looking at pictures of Beruthiel?
    No need for masturbation there. Pighead spontaneously erupts whenever Beruthials adorable face lights up my computer screen.


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    #96
    Pyr0
    Registered Users Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    Mate of mine was caught by his da. He was giving it loads on his bed when he decided to kick his duvet off and strip down naked, all the while having head phones in blasting 2 Pac !! His dad just walked in, looked at him and told him to go to bed.

    Funny times.


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    #97
    mp3guy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,957 ✭✭✭mp3guy


    Pighead wrote:
    Heres The Bollox' mother giving him the stare after one of his near misses.
    http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/64/92/23119264.jpg


    I'd more say this myself;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHjFxJVeCQs


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    #98
    Terry
    Registered Users Posts: 26,061 ✭✭✭✭Terry


    Pyr0 wrote:
    Mate of mine was caught by his da. He was giving it loads on his bed when he decided to kick his duvet off and strip down naked, all the while having head phones in blasting 2 Pac !! His dad just walked in, looked at him and told him to go to bed.

    Funny times.
    Your friend get his rocks off to tupac?

    'Oh yeah. Yeah. I wish you weren't dead. Ooh. That's the spot. You show that biggie smalls yeah'.


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    #99
    Pyr0
    Registered Users Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    Yeah I was wondering what the hell was up with that alright ! been then I was thinking, why would you even wear headphones anyway ?


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    #100
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    Pyr0 wrote:
    Yeah I was wondering what the hell was up with that alright ! been then I was thinking, why would you even wear headphones anyway ?
    it drowns out the fap fap fap noise... somewhat


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    #101
    MonkeyBalls
    Registered Users Posts: 437 ✭✭MonkeyBalls


    Hey guys. Interesting posts I must say.

    Well, here's my story.

    I used to masturbate A LOT. I mean, up to 7 times a day, every day. Usually my mam knocks on the door if she wants anything so I have time to tuck it in, if you know what I mean.

    I used to have a BB gun, you know, one of those pistols that shoots the little pellets. It looked like a real gun

    I was pulling hard one day, and when I came I couldn't help myself, I am embarrased to say it but I let out a groan, pretty loud.

    Then I could hear footsteps coming - FAST. My penis was still in my hands! I panicked and suddenly someone opened my door. NOO!! It was sister!!

    She looked scared, she says "Are you ok Aidan??"

    "Yeah I'm fine" I stammer, with a raging boner in my pants.

    "Thank God" she says. "I thought you shot yourself!"


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    #102
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Tee hee. I love the way that's your first post.
    The Bollox wrote:
    fap fap fap
    :D That's the one all right.


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    #103
    _blank_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    How long have you been lurking on Boards man?

    And you sign up to tell a story about the time you were nearly caught masturbating:eek:

    Welcome to the wacky world of After Hours, and Boards.ie in general.

    Sheesh.

    Excellent first post btw.


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    #104
    Jack Bauer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 74 ✭✭Jack Bauer


    MonkeyBalls wrote:
    Hey guys. Interesting posts I must say.

    Well, here's my story.

    I used to masturbate A LOT. I mean, up to 7 times a day, every day. Usually my mam knocks on the door if she wants anything so I have time to tuck it in, if you know what I mean.

    I used to have a BB gun, you know, one of those pistols that shoots the little pellets. It looked like a real gun

    I was pulling hard one day, and when I came I couldn't help myself, I am embarrased to say it but I let out a groan, pretty loud.

    Then I could hear footsteps coming - FAST. My penis was still in my hands! I panicked and suddenly someone opened my door. NOO!! It was sister!!

    She looked scared, she says "Are you ok Aidan??"

    "Yeah I'm fine" I stammer, with a raging boner in my pants.

    "Thank God" she says. "I thought you shot yourself!"

    LMAO Im in the stitches!! Quality posts guys!!


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    #105
    Anto McC
    Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Anto McC


    The Bollox wrote:
    the fap fap fap noise..

    Untill today i didn't believe you could put that **** noise into words but The Bollox has done it. I salute you sir :)


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    #106
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Agreed. And how appropriate that someone by the name of The Bollox articulated it so perfectly!


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    #107
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    The Bollox, growing peoples vocabulary since 2004


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    #108
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I though it more "nnnhg nnnhg nnnhg" for blokes from my own observations anyway :)


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    #109
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Ah that comes from the jaw - again, very well articulated though.

    The Bollox (tee hee!) is talking about the penis-in-hand sound!


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    #110
    Colonel Sanders
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,669 ✭✭✭Colonel Sanders


    I was told about a lad I used to work with by 3 different people. 2 stories about how his Dad caught him. 2 people told me he was watching neighbours when his dad walked in and caught him. The other version I got was that his Dad told him to cop on as there were you know what stains on the carpet!!!

    Never been caught myself but was tugging in the bathroom one day years ago. Was just about to shoot when my mother called me saying she was off to the supermarket. I had to squeeze my lad to stop and gave a grunt of acknowledgement that I'd heard her. Soon as the front door closed I let go and it shot across the bathroom off the door. Best distance I've ever got. Was very nearly an embarassing situation but it gave me a great game to play for the subsequent 3-4 weeks before i got bored with it. Hold it just as you were about to shoot, let go and see how far it would go!!!


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    #111
    Twinkle-star15
    Registered Users Posts: 392 ✭✭Twinkle-star15


    Jaysus, this is the best laugh I've had in a long time!!

    The only story I have is about my cousin. I was staying over at his house and we were going to bed, him on an air mattress, me on the couch. We had a nice long conversation, and what does he do only in the middle of it go 'God, this is the longest **** I've ever had' (he was VERY drunk). I wasn't sure whether he was messing or not (but he probably wasn't)- I just carried on the conversation like nothing had happened :D.


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    #112
    Dave!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,857 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    coolsmileygirl wrote:
    I though it more "nnnhg nnnhg nnnhg" for blokes from my own observations anyway :)
    I can't even pronounce that.....


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    #113
    Oliverdog
    Registered Users Posts: 968 ✭✭✭Oliverdog


    We had a w*nking contest at school.
    I came first, third and ninth. :D


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    #114
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,090 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Yeah caught, but sometimes you want to be.
    >_>


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    #115
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    coolsmileygirl wrote:
    I though it more "nnnhg nnnhg nnnhg" for blokes from my own observations anyway :)
    very accurate, although inbetween the grunts you would usually say a name or give an invisible person praise ie. pffff pfffff Jess... nnngh you're so hot... ooooooh... oh my god oh my god... KABLAM!


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    #116
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,090 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Yeah, jess is a good on to use.
    :P


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    #117
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    http://www.bartcop.com/jessica-alba-cameron-diaz.jpg

    damn straight!


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    #118
    8k2q1gfcz9s5d4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭8k2q1gfcz9s5d4


    DaveMcG wrote:
    I can't even pronounce that.....

    keep slapping your index and middle finger into the palm of your other hand very fast.


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    #119
    Agamemnon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,367 ✭✭✭Agamemnon


    Just have a proper **** instead.


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    #120
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    *whips out willy*

    FNNNNAAAARR, FNNNNAAAARR, GAZEB-HA, GAZEB-HA................pfffft!!!

    Oh dear, I think mine is broken.


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    #121
    nice1franko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,300 ✭✭✭nice1franko


    My first job after college was in a small office. I was only there a few weeks and went into the jax one morn and heard the grunting and fap fap faping (thank you, the bollox) that could only come from a furious ****.

    I legged it out thinking WTF and everyone was leaning out of their cubicles laughing at me and asking me what was wrong the bastrds. turns out they'd just taken on a deaf bloke as well and he was going in for a peddler nearly every day at about 10 but because he was deaf he'd no idea of the racket he was making.


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