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Ever caught letting off some knuckle children

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    #122
    8k2q1gfcz9s5d4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭8k2q1gfcz9s5d4


    Duggy747 wrote:
    *whips out willy*
    Oh dear, I think mine is broken.

    he got his lad out!!


    try looking at somthing you find sexy.......... like a graphics card or somthing:D
    if that fails, there is always viagra!!

    *goes to bathroom to make sure mine is working*


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    #123
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    Melissa Big Bus wrote:
    he got his lad out!!
    it looks like your Billy's


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    #124
    Steve_o
    Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    randylonghorn wrote:
    Quoth she: "Ah, in ainm Dé, so what, they all do it! .... I swear, our fella would lock himself into his room a couple of times a day. Best to let him off ... he was like a bear with a sore head otherwise!"

    :eek: :eek: :eek:

    *chokes on coffee*....lol..:D

    This has to win the 'Funniest Thread' award by a mile...:D


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    #125
    8k2q1gfcz9s5d4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭8k2q1gfcz9s5d4


    The Bollox wrote:
    it looks like your Billy's

    not at all, billies is rounder at the top


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    #126
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Melissa Big Bus wrote:
    not at all, billies is rounder at the top

    Plenty of the ol' cheese at the rim too, eh? ;)


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    #127
    neacy69
    Registered Users Posts: 2,823 ✭✭✭neacy69


    Duggy747 wrote:
    Plenty of the ol' cheese at the rim too, eh? ;)

    Ah good old cóck cheese....did you know its a luxury food item in some counties on a par with caviar


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    #128
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Eurgh, who'd want to eat sweaty, possibly mouldy, sludgy cheese.

    I presume the French. Ba-dum-bum....PISH!!


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    #129
    cance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭cance


    never caught thank ****

    this thread is full of win.


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    #130
    matt-dublin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭matt-dublin


    CantGetNoSleep wrote:
    is there not a game called mam or something?

    you have to call yer ma when ur **** and see if you can finish before she gets to you
    Yes, danger ****...

    Instructions:

    1. Go to Room,
    2. Close Door,
    3. Wip out todger, get it hard...
    4. Proceed to shout MOM as loud as you possibly can,
    5. Masturbate furiously and see who comes first! You or MOM!


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    #131
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    :eek: :eek: :eek:
    that's disgusting
    even thinking of of your mam while having a penis in your hand :eek:


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    #132
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    coolsmileygirl wrote:
    :eek: :eek: :eek:
    that's disgusting
    even thinking of of your mam while having a penis in your hand :eek:
    every little boy wanted to get it on with his mom when he was 5... or so Freud has us believe. this is probably just the repressed feelings coming back in a hilarious fashion


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    #133
    Steve_o
    Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    coolsmileygirl wrote:
    :eek: :eek: :eek:
    that's disgusting
    even thinking of of your mam while having a penis in your hand :eek:

    She's right ya know....its not the sort of thoughts that would help you win this game...


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    #134
    8k2q1gfcz9s5d4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭8k2q1gfcz9s5d4


    Steve_o wrote:
    She's right ya know....its not the sort of thoughts that would help you win this game...

    it would help if i was thinging of YER MA!


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    #135
    matt-dublin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭matt-dublin


    Steve_o wrote:
    She's right ya know....its not the sort of thoughts that would help you win this game...
    ha ha,
    admittadily i never did it, one of my mates told me about it, but never believed him...

    Got caught by the old dear mid stream if you will...
    I shouted at her to get the fook out as i wasn't finished ha ha!

    another one is, myself and a few of the lads when we were kids were having a sleepover, would have been around 12/13 at the time, and we were watching a video on his telly in the living room, all planning to sleep on the couches in sleeping bags.

    The fella who lived there thought it was a good idea to stick on one of his old fella's pornos...

    After a while, myself and the other lad started to pretend to msack the monkey in our (seperate!) sleeping bags and he turned around to the fella who lived there and said, "oh man you should try this, its bleedin deadly!"

    He replied, shut up ye freaks!

    A few minutes later he shouted bollox, jumped out of his sleeping bag, dribbled something liquidy on the floor and ran out of the room.
    He never came back..

    Pretty much myself and the other fella both cracked our sh1ts laughing for about 20 minutes!


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    #136
    matt-dublin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭matt-dublin


    Melissa Big Bus wrote:
    it would help if i was thinging of YER MA!
    YORE MA....

    HMmmmmmmm FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP


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    #137
    The Bollox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    matt-dublin wrote:
    YORE MA....

    HMmmmmmmm FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP
    *looks around* who the hell is beating a fish off a table?


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    #138
    Riesen_Meal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,575 ✭✭✭✭Riesen_Meal


    bronte wrote:
    Fieldog, I'm fairly sure I know your friend you mentioned in the first page of this post! Heard that story bout him too!


    Who's this ? ? ?


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    #139
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,090 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Recently my housemate was staying over at a friends house for the night. In the middle of the night he woke up to the sounds of his friend jerking off right beside him, as they were sleeping near each other. He pretended to be asleep while he listended to completion, groans etc.
    He also had the same experience when his brother did it and they were sharing a room. It was before one fo his exams and he did not have time to study for it because he couldn't leave the room. He pretended to be asleep while his brother kept at it.


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    #140
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    matt-dublin wrote:
    After a while, myself and the other lad started to pretend to msack the monkey in our (seperate!) sleeping bags ...
    ... pretend ... right! :p
    matt-dublin wrote:
    A few minutes later he shouted bollox, jumped out of his sleeping bag, dribbled something liquidy on the floor and ran out of the room.
    He never came back..
    Seriously, though ... you would have to feel sorry for the guy ... while you roffled, of course! :D


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    #141
    al-007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14 ✭al-007


    john.hannah@bti wrote:
    We had a w*nking contest at school.
    I came first, third and ninth. :D

    What the heck... does this actually happen or am I correct in suspecting Urban myth!!!


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    #142
    matt-dublin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭matt-dublin


    randylonghorn wrote:
    ... pretend ... right! :p

    Seriously, though ... you would have to feel sorry for the guy ... while you roffled, of course! :D
    not our fault his first valve drainer happened to be in our prescence ha ha!

    he obviously wasn't expecting that to happen!


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    #143
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    matt-dublin wrote:
    A few minutes later he shouted bollox, jumped out of his sleeping bag, dribbled something liquidy on the floor and ran out of the room.
    He never came back..
    Ha Ha, brilliant! There was one complete asshole who I went to school with in primary school, tubby git. When we went to secondary school he and a good friend of mine went to boarding school, nobody liked him there either. One night he was caught by his roommate emptying himself into a sock while saying "Ya like that, don't ya bitch!?!" a bit too loudly. Of course he was made a joke of and it spread back to my hometown pretty quickly.

    The stupid bastard, who was now stick-figure thin (wanked the fat away, presumably), left the same boarding school cuz of the abuse and joined my year in my secondary school, bad move! He presumed nobody heard of his escapades but he was soon brought up to date (His name is now Sockey) :p

    Then on our Grad Mass one of the girls went up to make a speech about our year and the people and all that shíte. She then topped off the speech with: "......and then there was a certain individual who joined our class, thinking he was the bee's knees. That was until he heard that we knew of his adventures with a certain sock." The entire hall arupted with a standing ovation, and "Married With Children" style hooting. Hell, even some of the parents were bursting their holes laughing! The only pity was the bollox (not you, The_Bollox ;) ) wasn't there for the speech. Ah, good times, good times!

    *wipes tear from eye*

    EDIT: You might think that's mean but a guy who has over 1000 enemies and is an utter waste of life must deserve it (Complete Boarding School & Secondary School hated him)


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    #144
    cance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭cance


    <3 this thread.

    fap fap fap.


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    #145
    matt-dublin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭matt-dublin


    whowever voted playstation 3 is lieing, they should have said no!


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    #146
    8k2q1gfcz9s5d4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭8k2q1gfcz9s5d4


    Duggy747 wrote:
    His name is now Sockey

    class!!!! did he have a blue bucket? if so, i wonder did he come in it!!


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    #147
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Melissa Big Bus wrote:
    class!!!! did he have a blue bucket? if so, i wonder did he come in it!!

    That was the idea of it, like a spit-bucket in boxing.


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    #148
    Kimbot
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,470 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kimbot


    Ah the joys of the ould w@nking games!! :p

    Anyone remember "Soggy Biscut"??


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    #149
    Themainman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16 ✭Themainman


    Never been caught myself but i did catch one of my housemates when at college. Arrived home to the house bout 2pm, noticed the livingroom curtains were drawn. Walked into the room to see yer man with his bags at his ankles, looking a bit redfaced and sweaty, porn on the TV and a wad of tissue on the arm of the chair! I sat down on the sofa and proceeded to have a converstaion as if this was perfectly normal before i eventually bust myself laughing....he started to screech a bit when i said 'wait til the lads hear this!'

    My girlfriend was caught by her dad **** to porn on the internet when she was 17....he was much more embaressed than she was!!!! He knocks when entering any room ever since.


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    #150
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Ah right ... college. <_<

    The same 6 guys sharing a 3-bedroom house for 3 years.

    Let's just say that NONE of us can afford to start telling tales ... ;)


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    #151
    Steve_o
    Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    jonny24ie wrote:
    Anyone remember "Soggy Biscut"??

    I don't....enlighten...


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