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Ghosted after a few good dates

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    #332
    Tell me how
    Registered Users Posts: 21,520 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    85603 wrote: »
    love it. an enquiry into someones well being is now stalking. eNd oF.

    An enquiry to someone you probably have no connection with about someone who blocked you. Yep. That's stalkish behaviour.


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    #333
    85603
    Registered Users Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭85603


    Deleted User wrote: »
    But it's not an enquiry into someone's well being, is it? It's clear motive is to reconnect with a person for your own selfish needs. The selfless move would be to push your own feelings aside and to respect a person's wishes.

    That's why it's stalking. It's a selfish act masquerading as a expression of concern.

    It's gross and so transparent.

    well yeah. it is.

    if im regularly contacting someone for weeks and meeting with them, whether it be platonic or romantic, and they suddenly just drop off the screen, with no forewarning or explanation then im genuinely concerned.

    who in their right mind wouldn't be.

    id sleep better knowing that someone had scored a childish point on me, than i would wondering whether they'd been in an accident.

    society will forgive a single enquiry. its not a sign of weakness.


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    #334
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,704 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    85603 wrote: »
    well yeah. it is.

    if im regularly contacting someone for weeks and meeting with them, whether it be platonic or romantic, and they suddenly just drop off the screen, with no forewarning or explanation then im genuinely concerned.

    who in their right mind wouldn't be.

    id sleep better knowing that someone had scored a childish point on me, than i would wondering whether they'd been in an accident.

    society will forgive a single enquiry. its not a sign of weakness.

    Not that this would make a difference - but it wasn’t just ignoring, where one might wonder if there was an accident. It was an active blocking! What accident makes you do that???


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    #335
    85603
    Registered Users Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭85603


    Tell me how wrote: »
    An enquiry to someone you probably have no connection with about someone who blocked you. Yep. That's stalkish behaviour.

    really? THAT constitutes stalking now?

    it couldn't just have been a misunderstanding. it has to be some way uptight game?

    lol this is such sh1t. :D


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    #336
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    85603 wrote: »
    well yeah. it is.

    if im regularly contacting someone for weeks and meeting with them, whether it be platonic or romantic, and they suddenly just drop off the screen, with no forewarning or explanation then im genuinely concerned.

    who in their right mind wouldn't be.

    id sleep better knowing that someone had scored a childish point on me, than i would wondering whether they'd been in an accident.

    society will forgive a single enquiry. its not a sign of weakness.

    If you've only known them a FEW WEEKS then you have no rights or entitlement to know why a person chooses to disconnect from you. If you message that person and they don't message back, that's their right.

    If you go trying to bridge that gap by contacting her friends - people you have never met - then you've crossed the line into being a "nice guy". Go buy a fedora and a katana.


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    #337
    Tell me how
    Registered Users Posts: 21,520 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    85603 wrote: »
    really? THAT constitutes stalking now?

    it couldn't just have been a misunderstanding. it has to be some way uptight game?

    lol this is such sh1t. :D

    They way you are pursuing this topic here, the language you are using etc, along with your insistence in trying to contact someone who blocked you on a number of platforms doesn't paint a great picture as to how you would have acted if you were in the OP's shoes. Or would do in future.


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    #338
    85603
    Registered Users Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭85603


    YellowLead wrote: »
    Not that this would make a difference - but it wasn’t just ignoring, where one might wonder if there was an accident. It was an active blocking! What accident makes you do that???

    a conservative religious father in my case. he took her phone, only passing my details to her friend allowed some kind of closure.

    a hacked account, a lost or stolen phone. an accident. coercion. someone sabotaging your name or impersonating you. numerous things you cant even imagine.

    this is ridiculous. you're behaving like 16 year olds. its ok to be concerned, for gods sake.


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    #339
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    85603 wrote: »
    a conservative religious father in my case. he took her phone, only passing my details to her friend allowed some kind of closure.

    a hacked account, a lost or stolen phone. an accident. coercion. someone sabotaging your name. numerous things you cant even imagine.

    Jesus Christ...


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    #340
    85603
    Registered Users Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭85603


    Deleted User wrote: »
    If you've only known them a FEW WEEKS then you have no rights or entitlement to know why a person chooses to disconnect from you. If you message that person and they don't message back, that's their right.

    If you go trying to bridge that gap by contacting her friends - people you have never met - then you've crossed the line into being a "nice guy". Go buy a fedora and a katana.

    lol. mental.


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    #341
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    85603 wrote: »
    lol. mental.

    The fact that you think it's "mental" says it all.

    Well put.


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    #342
    Johnnytractors
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭Johnnytractors


    Itainire wrote: »
    Did you guys chat or did she just say hello or what?
    Why would she call you from a private number?

    Johnny I don't know you and chances are I never will, but I know that you can do better than this, you can find yourself someone that values more from the start.. someone that calls you from their real phone number

    She came over to me and I kept ignoring her. Before I knew it she was right next to me outside the tractor asking me why I have ignored her text and her friend request. I told her straight out that it was “you that ghosted and blocked me” so I have got the hint now and I ain’t going back. If this is the way you treat me after 3 months, 7 dates god only knows what could happen in the future. She said she is stressed with work and needed time to clear her head. I just told her straight if I knew that I would have left you alone or helped ya. She just asked me to think about it. As for ringing me on a private number I don’t know....


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    #343
    raclle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,358 ✭✭✭raclle


    Johnnytractors wrote: »
    So an update for ye all. I was down in Limerick city passing going to an outside farm spraying some tillage crops there this evening. As I was jumping into the tractor I heard my name being called and who was it.... yes her! I got a bit of grilling from her since I never replied to her message or accepted her friend request on Instagram. I do know how to pick them!!!! By the way I am 30 and she is 28. Since seeing her this evening I have had 3 missed calls on a private number that I haven’t answered and I never get private number calls so I dunno!!!!!
    Ok this doesn't add up. How did she know where you were and I thought you blocked her?


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    #344
    Johnnytractors
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭Johnnytractors


    raclle wrote: »
    Ok this doesn't add up. How did she know where you were and I thought you blocked her?

    She obviously works around that area as there is a school nearby. I had her blocked on WhatsApp. She texted me on Viber that I never use so I have that deleted. This wan seems not to be going away in a hurry now.


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    #345
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,704 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    Johnnytractors wrote: »
    She obviously works around that area as there is a school nearby. I had her blocked on WhatsApp. She texted me on Viber that I never use so I have that deleted. This wan seems not to be going away in a hurry now.

    I wouldn’t give in. First the blocking/ghosting and now the stalking. She doesn’t sound too mentally stable and would be a nightmare down the line. When people show you their true colours - don’t ignore them.

    I do acknowledge it’s tough though OP - somebody you once liked pursuing you...just remember her treatment of you. Like god if you got together and you broke up with her in a few months time what would she be like then???? Equally she could disappear again.


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    #346
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,704 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    85603 and her sound perfect for each other lol


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    #347
    raclle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,358 ✭✭✭raclle


    YellowLead wrote: »
    First the blocking/ghosting and now the stalking
    But why would someone do that? That doesn't even make sense for someone with mental issues


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    #348
    JoChervil
    Registered Users Posts: 2,004 ✭✭✭JoChervil


    Johnnytractors wrote: »
    She obviously works around that area as there is a school nearby. I had her blocked on WhatsApp. She texted me on Viber that I never use so I have that deleted. This wan seems not to be going away in a hurry now.

    Has she apologised?


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    #349
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    YellowLead wrote: »
    85603 and her sound perfect for each other lol

    Hahaha


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    #350
    sporina
    Registered Users Posts: 6,796 ✭✭✭sporina


    YellowLead wrote: »
    I wouldn’t give in. First the blocking/ghosting and now the stalking. She doesn’t sound too mentally stable and would be a nightmare down the line. When people show you their true colours - don’t ignore them.

    I do acknowledge it’s tough though OP - somebody you once liked pursuing you...just remember her treatment of you. Like god if you got together and you broke up with her in a few months time what would she be like then???? Equally she could disappear again.

    awe now give the OP some credit..


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    #351
    Johnnytractors
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41 ✭Johnnytractors


    JoChervil wrote: »
    Has she apologised?

    No apology at all only being stressed and needed time to clear her head. I wish I could use the line with my bank manager...


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    #352
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Johnnytractors wrote: »
    She came over to me and I kept ignoring her. Before I knew it she was right next to me outside the tractor asking me why I have ignored her text and her friend request. I told her straight out that it was “you that ghosted and blocked me” so I have got the hint now and I ain’t going back. If this is the way you treat me after 3 months, 7 dates god only knows what could happen in the future. She said she is stressed with work and needed time to clear her head. I just told her straight if I knew that I would have left you alone or helped ya. She just asked me to think about it. As for ringing me on a private number I don’t know....

    Classic stuff. You removed your attention from her and now she's back looking for it again.

    Fair play for calling her out, there will be more respect for you in the long run. You deserve a lot better than her and her excuse is lame, the woman is red flag central.

    Run a mile.


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    #353
    JoChervil
    Registered Users Posts: 2,004 ✭✭✭JoChervil


    Johnnytractors wrote: »
    No apology at all only being stressed and needed time to clear her head. I wish I could use the line with my bank manager...

    I asked because people tend to overlook the simplest red flags.


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    #354
    85603
    Registered Users Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭85603


    Surreptitious wrote: »
    I have an analogy. I am using the word 'man' because the OP is male, before anyone gets offended.

    A man goes into a bar some night to socialise. He walks in, sits down and orders a pint. He feels a bit awkward. The bar tender isn't talking to him and the atmosphere isn't too good. He knocks back the pint fairly fast because he feels uncomfortable and gets out of there.
    Then he goes to another bar, he gets chatting to the barman and a regular and ends up having a few drinks but then the bar gets busier and he starts to think maybe I should head off.
    He finds another bar after walking around for a small bit and he sits at the counter. Everyone in there except the odd few seem to be having a good night. He orders his drink and gets chatting to a couple of people. The drinks starts flowing, the barman remembers his drink, people are chatting away about this and that. He relaxes and ends up there for the night, even might have stayed after time.
    He wakes up the next day, he might have a bit of a sore head but what he remembers is the last bar, the banter, the general ambience and feels it was worth it after all.
    He won't go back to the first bar ever again, the second bar, maybe he might have one in there if stuck and the final bar he would gladly drink in there as much as he could because he felt wanted and at ease there.

    So basically that what it is like with dates. They won't always work and you have to keep trying to find that bar you can chill out in.



    (Corny? Deal with it)

    Wow. That really stinks.


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    #355
    Surreptitious
    Registered Users Posts: 8,130 ✭✭✭Surreptitious


    85603 wrote: »
    Wow. That really stinks.

    I love you too bruv.


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    #356
    California Dreamer
    Registered Users Posts: 2,521 ✭✭✭California Dreamer


    This is the best read I have had on AH for a very long time.

    Some serious bunny boilers out there!!!


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    #357
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,704 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    California Dreamer wrote: »
    This is the best read I have had on AH for a very long time.

    Some serious bunny boilers out there!!!

    Have you seen Play Misty for Me...


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    #358
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    OP, I think you need to get to the bottom of this. I suggest contacting everyone on her friends list expressing your concern for her behaviour.

    If any one of her friends fails to respond, you should then contact all of that person's friends expressing your heartfelt concern.

    Repeat the process until you have total and absolute closure. Leave no stone unturned.

    Good luck.

    *Tips fedora*


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    #359
    California Dreamer
    Registered Users Posts: 2,521 ✭✭✭California Dreamer


    YellowLead wrote: »
    Have you seen Play Misty for Me...

    I lived it!!!!


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    #360
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,704 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    California Dreamer wrote: »
    I lived it!!!!

    Lol I’m guessing you were Dave not Evelyn....


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    #361
    SnuggyBear
    Registered Users Posts: 965 ✭✭✭SnuggyBear


    Attention whore. Run to the hills


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