Ghosted after a few good dates

Wallet Inspector

YellowLead wrote: »

Agree! I sort of meant my comment sarcastically, but I guess I didn’t pull that off )

Oops, sorry.

retro:electro

Anyone who says “how’s you” is a wrong ‘un

Surreptitious

retro:electro wrote: »

Anyone who says “how’s you” is a wrong ‘un

They are all at that on dating sites. They think it makes them 'cool'. Sadly for them, it doesn't.

85603

id message a few of her friends simultaneously, one time only, saying id like her to contact me and hoping everythings ok.

then id leave it 100%.

people who play these stupid little games just want to be wanted, its kind of pathetic.

Tell me how

85603 wrote: »

id message a few of her friends simultaneously, one time only, saying id like her to contact me and hoping everythings ok.

then id leave it 100%.

people who play these stupid little games just want to be wanted, its kind of pathetic.

Unless the OP is 15 or 16, I wouldn't go this route.

Leave the friends out of it.

85603

85603 wrote: »

id message a few of her friends simultaneously, one time only, saying id like her to contact me and hoping everythings ok.

then id leave it 100%..

Proper stalker behaviour, that.

raclle

bb1234567 wrote: »

I think it's just a way for less attractive men to cope with their rejection. As a gay man I would have to say it is very obvious to me that women hold the cards with hookups online, and they definitely have the opportunity to choose upwards on sites like tinder which men don't seem to afforded the same ooportunities. Which means many guys have to lower standards if they want any success, obviously.

This is what I've been trying to say but everyone has their own preferences. Like what I'd consider to be an attractive woman some may think otherwise

Ubbquittious

Tell me how wrote: »

Unless the OP is 15 or 16, I wouldn't go this route.

Leave the friends out of it.

Nah. Befriend the friends, start going out with one of them and youll find yourself on a nice little perch to view and snigger at the ghoster's future relationship woes

Poor Uncle Tom

Johnnytractors wrote: »

So, I recently matched with the one on tinder who was very cute, charming a funny. Within a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp. After a while we agreed to meet up in person and we clicked like a house on fire. We met the following week again and had a ball of time together. The following two weeks were Easter Sunday and the following Sunday I was tied the following Sunday helping a friend. We stayed in contact every day and night and shared messages and Snap chatting each other every day. Met her last Sunday and we had a brilliant time together. We chatted Sunday night when I got home and I fell asleep then. Monday morning I texted her and I got the following message back “ You're fine, sooo tired this morning getting up for work how's you? xx “ this is the last message I have got as I have been blocked on WhatsApp and on Snapchat. I’m still a match on tinder with her and friends on Instagram with her. I have reached out to her and asked her what is going on but I have been ghosted!!! To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

Run away now, thank your stars this one showed her true colours so early.

SnuggyBear

Hammer89 wrote: »

Here's your problem OP:

The country is locked down and therefore there's quite a lot of limitations when it comes to traditional first date options.

A walk along the pier is nice and so is a hike of some description - I don't know where you brought her quite honestly - but if your dates happened during the day then that, combined with the fact you did something outdoorsy right off the bat, doesn't lay the foundations for much romanticism I don't think.

I think after both of your dates, she probably started viewing you as a friend more than a potential partner.

There's two pieces of good news though.

1) She didn't block you on every possible platform, which means she wants you to have a way to get in touch. It wasn't an oversight that you're not blocked on IG.

2) When the country opens back up, I think she might agree to go on a real date, but - and this is key - only if you leave her alone from now until then. Don't message her until the second or third week of lifted restrictions.

Good luck.

Worst advice ever. Have some self respect man

Silliness upon silliness.

She cut off contact. That was her choice, and you should respect it. If she wants to get in contact with you again, she will do so. If not, leave it.

Lose the scarcity mentality. Find someone else, perhaps someone more worthy of your attention.

And if she does contact you again, fine... but don't wait for it. Personally, I wouldn't give her the time of day, since if she's capable of ghosting you once, she's more than capable of doing it a second time, after you've invested more time and emotional collateral with her.

gary550

SnuggyBear wrote: »

Worst advice ever. Have some self respect man

I'd agree, it's shockingly bad advice.

You'd swear she (or women in general) were a gold plated scarcity going by some comments posts this thread

She's a low quality person, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

Feisar

gary550 wrote: »

I'd agree, it's shockingly bad advice.

You'd swear she (or women in general) were a gold plated scarcity going by some comments posts this thread

She's a low quality person, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

But if she's screaming hot... plus the whole "head space" could mean a bit of a header/daddy issues, so one could be in for a good time. I'd say don't expend to much effort but don't shut her out either. And take a valuable lesson from this, no eggs in the one basket. One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

Leg End Reject

Feisar wrote: »

But if she's screaming hot... plus the whole "head space" could mean a bit of a header/daddy issues, so one could be in for a good time. I'd say don't expend to much effort but don't shut her out either. And take a valuable lesson from this, no eggs in the one basket. One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

Jaysis, that's a lot of riding!

Feisar

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Jaysis, that's a lot of riding!

Yea olde glory days!

B.A._Baracus

Mimon wrote: »

Don't think you've read the room very well. OP doesn't come across as the sort of person just out for a shag.

Hahahaha
You actually believe that?

Hold on I got to ring up the Sunday world and tell them a man doesn't want a shag. I'm sure it'll make page 1. Just above pics of the little piggies flying.

Ubbquittious

Feck sake everyone likes an auld shaggeen of a night.

Hamachi

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Jaysis, that's a lot of riding!

Sounds exhausting.

I feel like a lie down after just reading that!

Leg End Reject

Hamachi wrote: »

Sounds exhausting.

I feel like a lie down after just reading that!

Well 4 a week really if you'reinto the multiple partners thing, the chance would be a fine thing with Covid anyway.

gary550

Feisar wrote: »

But if she's screaming hot... plus the whole "head space" could mean a bit of a header/daddy issues, so one could be in for a good time. I'd say don't expend to much effort but don't shut her out either. And take a valuable lesson from this, no eggs in the one basket. One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

God bless your stamina, you must be mentally gifted to keep track of them all

quite honestly I couldn't be arsed with that

bitofabind

Feisar wrote: »

One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

I really hope you work in Sales, and if not you should consider it with that level of hustling. This is how you build a sales pipeline full of "opportunities" at varied stages of development.

Mastroianni

Johnnytractors wrote: »

So, I recently matched with the one on tinder who was very cute, charming a funny. Within a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp. After a while we agreed to meet up in person and we clicked like a house on fire. We met the following week again and had a ball of time together. The following two weeks were Easter Sunday and the following Sunday I was tied the following Sunday helping a friend. We stayed in contact every day and night and shared messages and Snap chatting each other every day. Met her last Sunday and we had a brilliant time together. We chatted Sunday night when I got home and I fell asleep then. Monday morning I texted her and I got the following message back “ You're fine, sooo tired this morning getting up for work how's you? xx “ this is the last message I have got as I have been blocked on WhatsApp and on Snapchat. I’m still a match on tinder with her and friends on Instagram with her. I have reached out to her and asked her what is going on but I have been ghosted!!! To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

is she Irish?:D

Ubbquittious

I wonder what makes them go "Ah Jaysus, I think I'll start ghostin' this fella now"

"I haven't ghosted anyone in a while, I think this lad looks ideal for ghosting now"

"Ya go for it, ghost the absolute sh1te out of him!"


This would be the conversation when there be a few girlies sitting around with a bottle of Prosecco and a few nibbles on the veranda. Despite all the lambasting ghosters get I'd say a very high % of people do some bit of ghosting when they're on those sites.

raclle

Ubbquittious wrote: »

This would be the conversation when there be a few girlies sitting around with a bottle of Prosecco and a few nibbles on the veranda. Despite all the lambasting ghosters get I'd say a very high % of people do some bit of ghosting when they're on those sites.

Tbh I've being in the exact same position as the OP last year. Was with a (Limerick) girl for a month and all of a sudden she ghost/blocked me. Seen she was still on tinder and met someone else a week later. I knew it was heading that way with the time we spent together so was no real surprise, I just moved on. I've met a few since and got to the texting stage only to be ghosted again. It must be a trend these days. If its not going to work I'm normally just straight up with someone but ghosting is a horrible thing to do and leaves you wondering what you've done wrong.

YellowLead

raclle wrote: »

Tbh I've being in the exact same position as the OP last year. Was with a (Limerick) girl for a month and all of a sudden she ghost/blocked me. Seen she was still on tinder and met someone else a week later. I knew it was heading that way with the time we spent together so was no real surprise, I just moved on. I've met a few since and got to the texting stage only to be ghosted again. It must be a trend these days. If its not going to work I'm normally just straight up with someone but ghosting is a horrible thing to do and leaves you wondering what you've done wrong.

I think if some people have it done to them a few times, then they sort of see it as the normal thing and they carry it on themselves and it’s just gets more and more common. I agree it’s horrible and would never do it, sure all it takes is one quick text ‘im sorry this isn’t for me’ or what have you.

Only time I’ve ever had to block was from an unsolicited dick pic from somebody I never met - and that was deserved!

Mimon

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Hahahaha
You actually believe that?

Hold on I got to ring up the Sunday world and tell them a man doesn't want a shag. I'm sure it'll make page 1. Just above pics of the little piggies flying.

As I said, you're clueless as to what is going on here.

Hammer89

gary550 wrote: »

I'd agree, it's shockingly bad advice.

You'd swear she (or women in general) were a gold plated scarcity going by some comments posts this thread

She's a low quality person, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

It was brilliant advice. I'd even say it's the best piece of advice he's been given so far.

Maintain a distance until you can bring her out on a real date instead of taking her for a drive every weekend.

What's wrong with that?

bitofabind

Ubbquittious wrote: »

I wonder what makes them go "Ah Jaysus, I think I'll start ghostin' this fella now"

"I haven't ghosted anyone in a while, I think this lad looks ideal for ghosting now"

"Ya go for it, ghost the absolute sh1te out of him!"


This would be the conversation when there be a few girlies sitting around with a bottle of Prosecco and a few nibbles on the veranda. Despite all the lambasting ghosters get I'd say a very high % of people do some bit of ghosting when they're on those sites.

:pac::pac::pac::pac:

I think it's generally more of a "mehhh he's a nice guy...don't know if I'm feeling it...he keeps texting...I'll get back to him at some stage...ah shyte he's still texting and can see I've read his texts...not ready to deal with this...I've left it too long now..." and suddenly it's a week later.

Think it's so prolific online because it's a literal meat market. Don't like this face? How about this one. Try this one. Oh and this one or maybe this one? So it's more like going on Deliveroo and looking for a pizza place and that's not really how humans work when it comes to attraction. So we get a bit institutionalised by the swiping and it's no longer about spending valuable time getting to know someone and building rapport with a unique human and more about comparing and contrasting between faces, which makes it easy to treat people like shyte.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Surreptitious

bitofabind wrote: »

:pac::pac::pac::pac:

I think it's generally more of a "mehhh he's a nice guy...don't know if I'm feeling it...he keeps texting...I'll get back to him at some stage...ah shyte he's still texting and can see I've read his texts...not ready to deal with this...I've left it too long now..." and suddenly it's a week later.

Think it's so prolific online because it's a literal meat market. Don't like this face? How about this one. Try this one. Oh and this one or maybe this one? So it's more like going on Deliveroo and looking for a pizza place and that's not really how humans work when it comes to attraction. So we get a bit institutionalised by the swiping and it's no longer about spending valuable time getting to know someone and building rapport with a unique human and more about comparing and contrasting between faces, which makes it easy to treat people like shyte.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

This is gas. I wrote a poem pretty much saying what you said here.

B.A._Baracus

Mimon wrote: »

As I said, you're clueless as to what is going on here.

Define irony.