Ghosted after a few good dates

YellowLead

Fuzzyduzzy wrote: »

So what's your solution to someone messaging/meeting up with you and then just abruptly ceasing contact? This is the reality of what a lot of people are doing.

I think the best solution is not to get invested too soon. End of. We can’t control how others act.

raclle

Deleted User wrote: »

Once I get around 200 likes, I pay for a single month to access the likes.

Look at Mr. Popular over here I'd be lucky to get that in 3 months

85603

Fuzzyduzzy wrote: »

So what's your solution to someone messaging/meeting up with you and then just abruptly ceasing contact? This is the reality of what a lot of people are doing.

theres no solution, because theres no problem.

i'd send them a message (just a hello how are you), and if no eventual reply i'd probably ask around to see if they were ok, out of concern.

and if theres no report of some accident or incident then id just go about my day as normal. ive done my bit.

(this is given we've established some kind of history, like a few dates and regular contact over some weeks).

thereafter if some halfwits want to exaggerate like teenagers about me being a stalker then so be it. i check in on friends and acquaintances, crazy world eh.

YellowLead

85603 wrote: »

theres no solution, because theres no problem.

i'd send them a message (just a hello how are you), and if no eventual reply i'd probably ask around to see if they were ok, out of concern.

and if theres no report of some accident or incident then id just go about my day as normal. ive done my bit.

(this is given we've established some kind of history, like a few dates and regular contact over some weeks).

thereafter if some halfwits want to exaggerate like teenagers about me being a stalker then so be it. i check in on friends and acquaintances, crazy world eh.

Really? You get to know somebodies friends and families after a couple of weeks of dating?
Yikes....

Fuzzyduzzy

85603 wrote: »

theres no solution, because theres no problem.

i'd send them a message (just a hello how are you), and if no eventual reply i'd probably ask around to see if they were ok, out of concern.

and if theres no report of some accident or incident then id just go about my day as normal. ive done my bit.

(this is given we've established some kind of history, like a few dates and regular contact over some weeks).

thereafter if some halfwits want to exaggerate like teenagers about me being a stalker then so be it. i check in on friends and acquaintances, crazy world eh.

But nobody said anything about what others say or think? It's about facing the fact of how disposable interactions are on online dating, even if you surpass the online element and meet up a few times. People go onto these apps with high expectations, often just passing the time for someone until someone more appealing comes along.

85603

YellowLead wrote: »

Really? You get to know somebodies friends and families after a couple of weeks of dating?
Yikes....

Family? I dunno.

I'd expect I might have met a friend, or been introduced to a co-worker. After some weeks.

Yikes.

85603

Fuzzyduzzy wrote: »

People go onto these apps with high expectations, often just passing the time for someone until someone more appealing comes along.

thats fine. whats to lose?
if ive checked in on them and there has been some sort of urgency/misunderstanding then glad to know.

if ive checked in on them and they're engaging in some sort of adolescent silliness then i dont care. a moment of disappointment, and back to my day.

Fuzzyduzzy

85603 wrote: »

thats fine. whats to lose?
if ive checked in on them and there has been some sort of urgency/misunderstanding then glad to know.

if ive checked in on them and they're engaging in some sort of adolescent silliness then i dont care. a moment of disappointment, and back to my day.

Sure follow whatever works for you I suppose.

raclle

raclle wrote: »

Look at Mr. Popular over here I'd be lucky to get that in 3 months

Hahaha, yeah I guess people's experiences can vary!

:pac:

85603

85603 wrote: »

theres no solution, because theres no problem.

i'd send them a message (just a hello how are you), and if no eventual reply i'd probably ask around to see if they were ok, out of concern.

and if theres no report of some accident or incident then id just go about my day as normal. ive done my bit.

(this is given we've established some kind of history, like a few dates and regular contact over some weeks).

thereafter if some halfwits want to exaggerate like teenagers about me being a stalker then so be it. i check in on friends and acquaintances, crazy world eh.

Good call. I'd also recommend ringing their GP to ensure no medical emergency has taken place. Maybe ring a few hospitals too. All normal stuff.

85603

Deleted User wrote: »

Good call. I'd also recommend ringing their GP to ensure no medical emergency has taken place. Maybe ring a few hospitals too. All normal stuff.

Yep, hospitals. Good lad.

Em ugh pop pfft

The men on here posting are sounding 'blockworthy' lol :pac:

Galwayguy35

YellowLead wrote: »

Actually you are right - I wrote that the wrong way! But a friend of mine who joined elite singles was very disappointed as she saw a lot of the same faces as the other apps but the less attractive (not physically just overall) ones.
I mean you are obviously going to pay if you are a bit desperate.
Some of the sites through might be different - the really expensive ones where it’s more of a match maker service and they match people on personalities etc. They might be worth it for sure. I’d consider that.

So you think the people who choose a paid site are desperate?

Strange way of thinking.

YellowLead

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

So you think the people who choose a paid site are desperate?

Strange way of thinking.

Ah, a few people have said it to me. Obviously it’s not across the board. And some people might just be a bit shy or something.
Plus as a woman I wouldn’t expect it to filter out guts just looking for casual sex.

spurious

Christ. Does nobody meet up with anyone the 'normal'* ways anymore?


*
through mutual friends
at a party
at a class/course
at work
through a sports club

Sonics2k

spurious wrote: »

Christ. Does nobody meet up with anyone the 'normal'* ways anymore?


*
through mutual friends
at a party
at a class/course
at work
through a sports club

Kinda hard to do that over the last 13 months to be fair.

YellowLead

Sonics2k wrote: »

Kinda hard to do that over the last 13 months to be fair.

I was just going to say that! I can’t wait to not have to rely on them anymore.

Sonics2k

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

Not necessarily. I've slept with more than dozen escorts since the first lockdown and not so much as a sniffle.

We sacrificed a year of our lives for nothing.

I literally cannot fathom being proud of that.

YellowLead

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

It's just sex.

Yes we are all getting sex too, and we don’t need to pay for it!!! It’s not that real life or escorts are the only option. The dating apps have their place! For me they only really work for casual sex. So why would I be paying for that when I can get it at the click of a (free) button.

ZoZoZo

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

It's just sex.

Just sex, sounds very boring, when I hire an escort I like to do something special like dress up in a monkey suit and ride them round on all fours screaming 'where's my banana'
Put in some effort for God's sake.

YellowLead

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

Are you a woman? The majority of men are most certainly not getting regular casual sex. That is reserved for the top tier men. There seems to be an idea among women and older people that you just hop on Tinder and meet someone for hook up.

It doesn't work like that for average and below average looking men!

Yes I am. And I know it’s not as easy for men. It takes more effort than just hopping on. But if you are average you can still get some, you might just have to lower your standards.
Or be lucky enough to swipe on somebody who’s only looking for casual and they are out there (unused to be me when first single)

YellowLead

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

Lowering your standards won't work online. Why would a woman settle for me, a 5 at best, when she should could potentially have an 8+ on tinder?

It's different irl, but it's still very difficult for the average man to get casual sex. And when you do get it you are normally drunk which means you run the risk of being accused of rape.

Since the game is rigged against men, I decided to cheat by seeing escorts.

Whatever works for you personally dude

sporina

can't believe this thread is still open.. :eek:

ZoZoZo

sporina wrote: »

can't believe this thread is still open.. :eek:

Why wouldn't it be ?

spurious

spurious wrote: »

Christ. Does nobody meet up with anyone the 'normal'* ways anymore?


*
through mutual friends
at a party
at a class/course
at work
through a sports club

There's been this virus knocking around lately. It's been fairly low key in the media, to be fair to you.

Prelude In E Minor

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

Are you a woman? The majority of men are most certainly not getting regular casual sex. That is reserved for the top tier men. There seems to be an idea among women and older people that you just hop on Tinder and meet someone for hook up.

It doesn't work like that for average and below average looking men!

Today I learned I'm a top tier man!

Leg End Reject

Sonics2k wrote: »

Kinda hard to do that over the last 13 months to be fair.

But people meeting others from dating apps, or using the services of escorts aren't following restrictions. No shortage of house parties either.

Em ugh pop pfft

The way some people look at dating on here sounds so practical and awful.

Reminds me of that scene in A Beautiful Mind. Though the difference is it seemed somewhat endearing in that.

YellowLead

Leg End Reject wrote: »

But people meeting others from dating apps, or using the services of escorts aren't following restrictions. No shortage of house parties either.

It depends. You can meet one other household outdoors and you always could. And when it moves indoors that is where your support bubble comes in.

YellowLead

YellowLead wrote: »

It depends. You can meet one other household outdoors and you always could. And when it moves indoors that is where your support bubble comes in.

Thank god for that bubble!

:pac: