Ghosted after a few good dates

Church on Tuesday · 29-04-2021 9:27pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

She came over to me and I kept ignoring her. Before I knew it she was right next to me outside the tractor asking me why I have ignored her text and her friend request. I told her straight out that it was “you that ghosted and blocked me” so I have got the hint now and I ain’t going back. If this is the way you treat me after 3 months, 7 dates god only knows what could happen in the future. She said she is stressed with work and needed time to clear her head. I just told her straight if I knew that I would have left you alone or helped ya. She just asked me to think about it. As for ringing me on a private number I don’t know....

Classic stuff. You removed your attention from her and now she's back looking for it again.

Fair play for calling her out, there will be more respect for you in the long run. You deserve a lot better than her and her excuse is lame, the woman is red flag central.

Run a mile.

JoChervil · 29-04-2021 10:05pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

No apology at all only being stressed and needed time to clear her head. I wish I could use the line with my bank manager...

I asked because people tend to overlook the simplest red flags.

29-04-2021 10:30pm

Surreptitious wrote: »

I have an analogy. I am using the word 'man' because the OP is male, before anyone gets offended.

A man goes into a bar some night to socialise. He walks in, sits down and orders a pint. He feels a bit awkward. The bar tender isn't talking to him and the atmosphere isn't too good. He knocks back the pint fairly fast because he feels uncomfortable and gets out of there.
Then he goes to another bar, he gets chatting to the barman and a regular and ends up having a few drinks but then the bar gets busier and he starts to think maybe I should head off.
He finds another bar after walking around for a small bit and he sits at the counter. Everyone in there except the odd few seem to be having a good night. He orders his drink and gets chatting to a couple of people. The drinks starts flowing, the barman remembers his drink, people are chatting away about this and that. He relaxes and ends up there for the night, even might have stayed after time.
He wakes up the next day, he might have a bit of a sore head but what he remembers is the last bar, the banter, the general ambience and feels it was worth it after all.
He won't go back to the first bar ever again, the second bar, maybe he might have one in there if stuck and the final bar he would gladly drink in there as much as he could because he felt wanted and at ease there.

So basically that what it is like with dates. They won't always work and you have to keep trying to find that bar you can chill out in.

(Corny? Deal with it)

Wow. That really stinks.

Surreptitious · 30-04-2021 1:24am

85603 wrote: »

Wow. That really stinks.

I love you too bruv.

California Dreamer · 30-04-2021 7:44am

This is the best read I have had on AH for a very long time.

Some serious bunny boilers out there!!!

YellowLead · 30-04-2021 12:30pm

California Dreamer wrote: »

This is the best read I have had on AH for a very long time.

Some serious bunny boilers out there!!!

Have you seen Play Misty for Me...

30-04-2021 12:43pm

OP, I think you need to get to the bottom of this. I suggest contacting everyone on her friends list expressing your concern for her behaviour.

If any one of her friends fails to respond, you should then contact all of that person's friends expressing your heartfelt concern.

Repeat the process until you have total and absolute closure. Leave no stone unturned.

Good luck.

*Tips fedora*

California Dreamer · 30-04-2021 1:10pm

YellowLead wrote: »

Have you seen Play Misty for Me...

I lived it!!!!

YellowLead · 30-04-2021 1:19pm

California Dreamer wrote: »

I lived it!!!!

Lol I’m guessing you were Dave not Evelyn....

SnuggyBear · 30-04-2021 1:43pm

Attention whore. Run to the hills

30-04-2021 4:11pm

Deleted User wrote: »

OP, I think you need to get to the bottom of this. I suggest contacting everyone on her friends list expressing your concern for her behaviour.

If any one of her friends fails to respond, you should then contact all of that person's friends expressing your heartfelt concern.

Repeat the process until you have total and absolute closure. Leave no stone unturned.

Good luck.

*Tips fedora*

no way man. thats weak. you gotta be stone cold with these hoes.
you aint weak. you aint no rube. and your penis is big enough.

you dont need anyone. nobody. daddy did love you. they check up on you, you dont check up on them.

*tips pimp goblet.

30-04-2021 4:13pm

85603 wrote: »

no way man. thats weak. you gotta be stone cold with these hoes.
you aint weak. you aint no rube. and your penis is big enough.

you dont need anyone. nobody. daddy did love you. they check up on you, you dont check up on them.

*tips pimp goblet.

.

sporina · 30-04-2021 4:42pm

this thread would definitely be better off in the PI forum ekk

irishguitarlad · 30-04-2021 4:55pm

The one? How many episodes of Dawson's Creek op did you watch when you were younger?

Hammer89 · 30-04-2021 4:56pm

sporina wrote: »

this thread would definitely be better off in the PI forum ekk

Or creative writing. I'm not sure I believe it anymore.

sporina · 30-04-2021 6:14pm

Hammer89 wrote: »

Or creative writing. I'm not sure I believe it anymore.

really? why?

The DayDream · 30-04-2021 6:22pm

JoChervil wrote: »

I think it is more about leaving a space to breathe. I always escaped from men, who were too intense too soon. I felt suffocated...

Yeah you're right that can be it too which makes sense (I myself broke up with a girl who got huffy that I didn't text back quick enough and lost the rag when I told her I never got a text).

30-04-2021 6:27pm

sporina wrote: »

really? why?

After the confrontation on the tractor incident was brought to light my eyebrow raised a bit.

sully123 · 30-04-2021 6:29pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

After the confrontation on the tractor incident was brought to light my eyebrow raised a bit.

Like the time Miley goasted Fidelma in Glenroe

raclle · 30-04-2021 7:07pm

JoChervil wrote: »

I think it is more about leaving a space to breathe. I always escaped from men, who were too intense too soon. I felt suffocated...

Did you see that incident on the news earlier about the woman being raped on a tinder date at home :eek:

sporina · 30-04-2021 7:38pm

Deleted User wrote: »

After the confrontation on the tractor incident was brought to light my eyebrow raised a bit.

i know its in the after hours forum but I think he's for real..

B.A._Baracus · 30-04-2021 8:53pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

After the confrontation on the tractor incident was brought to light my eyebrow raised a bit.

It's bulls*t. Just another tall tale. Probably just another Mr fenigan.
Besides the op has been using boards for nearly 3 years. More than long enough to realise if you want to have a serious thread you don't post it in after hours. Could have easily posted it on personal issues or something.

But, and I can't help but take this moment to reference the user who said I was taking this thread arseways. Well mate, you believed a whole load of horses*it as truth. As I say, define irony.

kowloon · 30-04-2021 9:07pm

Feisar wrote: »

All joking aside, at the end of the day she didn't/doesn't owe you anything. Manners are nice but not an obligation.

A little bit of respect is an expectation, I'm not sure I'd like to live in a world devoid of empathy.

Johnnytractors · 30-04-2021 10:19pm

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

It's bulls*t. Just another tall tale. Probably just another Mr fenigan.
Besides the op has been using boards for nearly 3 years. More than long enough to realise if you want to have a serious thread you don't post it in after hours. Could have easily posted it on personal issues or something.

But, and I can't help but take this moment to reference the user who said I was taking this thread arseways. Well mate, you believed a whole load of horses*it as truth. As I say, define irony.

Hi, I normally don’t engage with people who act like chauvinist pigs but here goes. I’m sorry, I am not an expert in using boards but if you read the thread from the start you will see that I have replied to a comment who previously stated that I should have used a different section. I mainly use boards for farming purposes mainly down to machinery purchases on the farm before new equipment is bought. Checking out peoples opinions etc.

Secondly, i wouldn’t have posted it on a public forum asking for advice if it wasn’t true. I posted it looking for advice and seeing what did people do in similar situations as I was looking for advice. Everything that I relaid out here has happened but looks like i won’t be use boards anymore.

And lastly, if you think I made this up, I regret to inform you it’s 100% true. I have better things to be doing at the moment with in excess of 1000 acres of tillage crops with spraying and fertilising them at the minute. If you must know, some people have messaged me privately as it has happened to them both male and female and I have been chatting to them. Now goodbye.

JoChervil · 30-04-2021 10:29pm

sporina wrote: »

i know its in the after hours forum but I think he's for real..

I more and more doubt it

Ubbquittious · 30-04-2021 10:32pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hi, I normally don’t engage with people who act like chauvinist pigs but here goes. I’m sorry, I am not an expert in using boards but if you read the thread from the start you will see that I have replied to a comment who previously stated that I should have used a different section. I mainly use boards for farming purposes mainly down to machinery purchases on the farm before new equipment is bought. Checking out peoples opinions etc.

Secondly, i wouldn’t have posted it on a public forum asking for advice if it wasn’t true. I posted it looking for advice and seeing what did people do in similar situations as I was looking for advice. Everything that I relaid out here has happened but looks like i won’t be use boards anymore.

And lastly, if you think I made this up, I regret to inform you it’s 100% true. I have better things to be doing at the moment with in excess of 1000 acres of tillage crops with spraying and fertilising them at the minute. If you must know, some people have messaged me privately as it has happened to them both male and female and I have been chatting to them. Now goodbye.

Don't mind em Johnny. They're not worth it

Surreptitious · 30-04-2021 10:38pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hi, I normally don’t engage with people who act like chauvinist pigs but here goes. I’m sorry, I am not an expert in using boards but if you read the thread from the start you will see that I have replied to a comment who previously stated that I should have used a different section. I mainly use boards for farming purposes mainly down to machinery purchases on the farm before new equipment is bought. Checking out peoples opinions etc.

Secondly, i wouldn’t have posted it on a public forum asking for advice if it wasn’t true. I posted it looking for advice and seeing what did people do in similar situations as I was looking for advice. Everything that I relaid out here has happened but looks like i won’t be use boards anymore.

And lastly, if you think I made this up, I regret to inform you it’s 100% true. I have better things to be doing at the moment with in excess of 1000 acres of tillage crops with spraying and fertilising them at the minute. If you must know, some people have messaged me privately as it has happened to them both male and female and I have been chatting to them. Now goodbye.

Fair play. Fck the begrudgers. They wait till you post something then pick holes in everything you say. That's why I don't start threads anymore.

raclle · 30-04-2021 10:55pm

Surreptitious wrote: »

Fair play. Fck the begrudgers. They wait till you post something then pick holes in everything you say. That's why I don't start threads anymore.

Of course some will be sceptical as the narrative doesn't really fit. She blocks him and then decides to stalk him? A chance meeting in a random field? Can you not see how that's perceived? I'm not saying OP is lying but it looks a bit odd

Surreptitious · 30-04-2021 11:01pm

raclle wrote: »

Of course some will be sceptical as the narrative doesn't really fit. She blocks him and then decides to stalk him? A chance meeting in a random field? Can you not see how that's perceived? I'm not saying OP is lying but it looks a bit odd

Do you actually know what stalking means? stalking is following someone to their house and abusing them. She bumped into him and was acting odd.

raclle · 30-04-2021 11:05pm

Surreptitious wrote: »

Do you actually know what stalking means?

I'm only using the term others have described it as

B.A._Baracus · 30-04-2021 11:15pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hi, I normally don’t engage with people who act like chauvinist pigs but here goes. I’m sorry, I am not an expert in using boards but if you read the thread from the start you will see that I have replied to a comment who previously stated that I should have used a different section. I mainly use boards for farming purposes mainly down to machinery purchases on the farm before new equipment is bought. Checking out peoples opinions etc.

Secondly, i wouldn’t have posted it on a public forum asking for advice if it wasn’t true. I posted it looking for advice and seeing what did people do in similar situations as I was looking for advice. Everything that I relaid out here has happened but looks like i won’t be use boards anymore.

And lastly, if you think I made this up, I regret to inform you it’s 100% true. I have better things to be doing at the moment with in excess of 1000 acres of tillage crops with spraying and fertilising them at the minute. If you must know, some people have messaged me privately as it has happened to them both male and female and I have been chatting to them. Now goodbye.

Let's see.

- You say you have better things to be doing like "in excess of 1000 acres of tillage crops with spraying and fertilising them at the minute" - and people still think this is a real thread? :pac: he's taking the piss as he tells me off :pac:
To be fair, he is living the gimmick with a name like JohnnyTractors. Fair play.

raclle · 01-05-2021 12:02am

Surreptitious wrote: »

She bumped into him and was acting odd.

Really? Have another look over the thread. OP said she WFH in Clare and you believe she randomly bumps into him in a field in Limerick. I'm not trying to pick holes in a story that has holes

Ubbquittious · 01-05-2021 12:08am

Looks like the thread has run its course but some people are addicted to the drama and are trying to keep it going by coming up with conspiracies to discredit the OP.

Fairly run of the mill internet forum sh1tfcukery really, along with the tired old trick of trying to rile someone up to the point that they retaliate and get themselves banned.

iebamm2580 · 01-05-2021 12:17am

Had similar thing happen to me 2 weeks ago, was texting for a while and had arranged to meet. The previous day she didn't reply to my last text, the following day we were meant to meet still no response to mondays text, then on the Wednesday she unmatched me on tinder. I just text to say best of luck with college but thought she could have let me know she no longer wanted to meet up as we had agreed. rather than just ghosting me. Then she replied saying she had no credit and was so busy with college and the tinder unmatch she does to guys she texts. basically started accusing me of being immature and jumping to conclusions and was shocked by my message(which was polite btw) and was turned off completely now she said. She didn't reply and then unmatched me, i thought it as a logical conclusion that she was now not interested. She had previously said a guy ghosted her so wasn't expecting it from her, just tell people you are no longer interested, its fairest way all round.

con___manx1 · 01-05-2021 12:18am

It sounds like you were looking for something really serious and maybe she wasn't.
Never chase if you don't get a reply. If a girl likes you she will message eventually. If not it's not ment to be.
That has worked for me many times. If you chase u look to keen and its boring for women. If you don't chase it wrecks their head trust me.

Ubbquittious · 01-05-2021 12:21am

iebamm2580 wrote: »

Had similar thing happen to me 2 weeks ago, was texting for a while and had arranged to meet. The previous day she didn't reply to my last text, the following day we were meant to meet still no response to mondays text, then on the Wednesday she unmatched me on tinder. I just text to say best of luck with college but thought she could have let me know she no longer wanted to meet up as we had agreed. rather than just ghosting me. Then she replied saying she had no credit and was so busy with college and the tinder unmatch she does to guys she texts. basically started accusing me of being immature and jumping to conclusions and was shocked by my message(which was polite btw) and was turned off completely now she said. She didn't reply and then unmatched me, i thought it as a logical conclusion that she was now not interested. She had previously said a guy ghosted her so wasn't expecting it from her, just tell people you are no longer interested, its fairest way all round.

Yea that is a common angle ghosters will take if you confront them.

I've had a good few of them recently ghosting after agreeing to meet up. Maybe the agreement to meet is the validation they're all after

Surreptitious · 01-05-2021 12:25am

raclle wrote: »

Really? Have another look over the thread. OP said she WFH in Clare and you believe she randomly bumps into him in a field in Limerick. I'm not trying to pick holes in a story that has holes

It was near a school. I'm not answering anymore. This isn't Murder She Wrote for morons

Wallet Inspector · 01-05-2021 12:57am

The OP seems like a nice lad - doesn't hurt to reciprocate instead of looking for confrontation.

JupiterKid · 01-05-2021 1:00am

I feel pretty sorry for people who use dating apps like tinder and such, there’s a lot of instant rejection and ghosting - which I think is a selfish, cowardly way of breaking contact with another human being.

raclle · 01-05-2021 2:05am

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Looks like the thread has run its course but some people are addicted to the drama and are trying to keep it going by coming up with conspiracies to discredit the OP.

Conspiracies

You point out one little discrepancy and the bigots come out.

Wallet Inspector wrote: »

The OP seems like a nice lad - doesn't hurt to reciprocate instead of looking for confrontation.

He really does and I'm not trying to have a go at him. I hope it is true and he's not offended by this

Ted_YNWA · 01-05-2021 4:50am

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Let's see.

- You say you have better things to be doing like "in excess of 1000 acres of tillage crops with spraying and fertilising them at the minute" - and people still think this is a real thread? :pac: he's taking the piss as he tells me off :pac:
To be fair, he is living the gimmick with a name like JohnnyTractors. Fair play.

Mod

You obviously have no interest in taking the thread seriously.

So don't post here again.

JoChervil · 01-05-2021 12:29pm

JoChervil wrote: »

I more and more doubt it

What I wanted to say was, that I don't believe it is a whole story. It might be 100% true what has been revealed. But it is not the whole truth.

And that made a lot of people here saying awful things about the girl. While the whole story might have been completely different.

For example: what text from him wold cause the answer "You are fine..."? What if she wanted to finish it and he didn't take "no" for the answer and kept texting her. Would your perception of her be different then?

Why they met by accident near HER place? So who might have been a stalker then? I simply have doubts...

She didn't apologised. Maybe she had a reason for it because fault was not on her side?

We don't know the whole story to judge her so harshly and give the whole credit to OP.

But irrespectively OP sounds like a nice genuine guy. So maybe the whole story is a simple misunderstanding and too big eagerness from his side...

raclle · 01-05-2021 2:41pm

JoChervil wrote: »

Why they met by accident near HER place? So who might have been a stalker then? I simply have doubts...

She lives in Clare not Limerick which is why I questioned it

Fuzzyduzzy · 01-05-2021 2:41pm

From what I remember with online dating, you treat it like a game of tennis. You send a message, they send one back. You reply at a similar time ratio, no fast replies or long messages. Send a max of 10 messages before you suggest a meet-up in a public place. NEVER double text, no matter how hard you want to convince yourself they've forgot to text you or been captured by pirates. No emojis (guys). Pretend you're not really attracted to them yet, you can take them or leave them. Any rule breaking and then you get ghosted or pen pal zoned. Just my 2 cents but I learned the hard way!

O'Neill · 01-05-2021 2:47pm

Fuzzyduzzy wrote: »

From what I remember with online dating, you treat it like a game of tennis. You send a message, they send one back. You reply at a similar time ratio, no fast replies or long messages. Send a max of 10 messages before you suggest a meet-up in a public place. NEVER double text, no matter how hard you want to convince yourself they've forgot to text you or been captured by pirates. No emojis (guys). Pretend you're not really attracted to them yet, you can take them or leave them. Any rule breaking and then you get ghosted or pen pal zoned. Just my 2 cents but I learned the hard way!

I find online dating exhausting. Just last week, I matched with a guy, he sent a message straight away
Them:'Hi'
Me: 'Hi how are you?'
I got 2 notifications back from them but was busy with work and literally not even 5 mins since their reply, I was about to respond and they unmatched me!

01-05-2021 3:06pm

Fuzzyduzzy wrote: »

From what I remember with online dating, you treat it like a game of tennis. You send a message, they send one back. You reply at a similar time ratio, no fast replies or long messages. Send a max of 10 messages before you suggest a meet-up in a public place. NEVER double text, no matter how hard you want to convince yourself they've forgot to text you or been captured by pirates. No emojis (guys). Pretend you're not really attracted to them yet, you can take them or leave them. Any rule breaking and then you get ghosted or pen pal zoned. Just my 2 cents but I learned the hard way!

Emojii is handy when you're being cheeky.

01-05-2021 3:07pm

O'Neill wrote: »

I find online dating exhausting. Just last week, I matched with a guy, he sent a message straight away
Them:'Hi'
Me: 'Hi how are you?'
I got 2 notifications back from them but was busy with work and literally not even 5 mins since their reply, I was about to respond and they unmatched me!

I don't take any of it personally. It's like a video game to me.

OMM 0000 · 01-05-2021 3:09pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

So, I recently matched with the one on tinder who was very cute, charming a funny. Within a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp. After a while we agreed to meet up in person and we clicked like a house on fire. We met the following week again and had a ball of time together. The following two weeks were Easter Sunday and the following Sunday I was tied the following Sunday helping a friend. We stayed in contact every day and night and shared messages and Snap chatting each other every day. Met her last Sunday and we had a brilliant time together. We chatted Sunday night when I got home and I fell asleep then. Monday morning I texted her and I got the following message back “ You're fine, sooo tired this morning getting up for work how's you? xx “ this is the last message I have got as I have been blocked on WhatsApp and on Snapchat. I’m still a match on tinder with her and friends on Instagram with her. I have reached out to her and asked her what is going on but I have been ghosted!!! To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

My initial thought is she has a boyfriend or recently broke up and he's back in town so you're dumped. It was a panic block so there will be no surprise messages on her phone.

Surreptitious · 01-05-2021 3:16pm

There are no rules to dating. Online or in the real world. If you both get on, it will work. Until it doesn't anymore

Ubbquittious · 01-05-2021 3:18pm

Surreptitious wrote: »

There are no rules to dating. Online or in the real world. If you both get on, it will work. Until it doesn't anymore

They are loads. Just unwritten social ones that they're constantly updating and changing to keep the socially inept fellas out

Ghosted after a few good dates

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