Returning emigrants who big themselves up in an unsuccessful bid to impress

Sunny Disposition · 31-12-2019 10:03AM

Thread has gone in a few different directions than I expected.

In my young life I was an immigrant for many years and eventually returned here, I don’t have anything at all against people going abroad, nor do I have anything against people doing well at their careers, I had a lot of fortune myself while abroad.

What I do think is interesting is that a man thought it appropriate to reply to a question about weather by saying he was on a ‘hyper’ income. Why the need or desire to do that?

cantalach · 31-12-2019 11:45AM

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

What I do think is interesting is that a man thought it appropriate to reply to a question about weather by saying he was on a ‘hyper’ income. Why the need or desire to do that?

Because sometimes when it appears we’re having a conversation with somebody else, we’re actually having a conversation with ourselves.

is_that_so · 31-12-2019 11:50AM

Augeo wrote: »

Your local has loads of former county players..... That were all tradesmen..... And married local girls?

Your road is less travelled? Do tell more.

It's actually that people's lives just don't cross intersect in the same way and anything you had in common is long gone because of those lives.

SantaCruz · 31-12-2019 12:56PM

Stateofyou wrote: »

While I don't agree with some things that were said, that poster is Irish and anyone no matter where they live who has an association with Ireland I can understand having an interest in reading or posting here. Not odd at all. And from what I see here on these forums every single time I login is Irish people not respecting each other or anyone else for that matter, so what's your point.

My point is that posting for the benefit of people you don't respect seems odd. I don't respect neo-Nazis, for example. I don't post on StormFront, or wherever they hang out these days.

I guess I must be the weirdo.

beggars_bush · 31-12-2019 01:13PM

Some people talk about everything going well for them when it genuinely is. Is there something wrong with that?

While others will cover up the fact that things are not going so well

That's human nature I suppose.
You just have to learn to filter the bull from the genuine stuff

beejee · 31-12-2019 01:48PM

cantalach wrote: »

Because sometimes when it appears we’re having a conversation with somebody else, we’re actually having a conversation with ourselves.

Nice turn of phrase there

skooterblue2 · 31-12-2019 03:30PM

Augeo wrote: »

Your local has loads of former county players..... That were all tradesmen..... And married local girls?

Your road is less travelled? Do tell more.

Sure I was born in Kilkenny.
Five of my class mates were on the the county team at one stage I think. Three have all Ireland medals.
Some of my class mates got electricians apprenticeships, into AIBP (in the office not on the floor) and other jobs.

skooterblue2 · 31-12-2019 05:29PM

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

What I do think is interesting is that a man thought it appropriate to reply to a question about weather by saying he was on a ‘hyper’ income. Why the need or desire to do that?

You know the guy in the pub, at the end of the bar? The guy where the wife has left him then kicked him out of the house he paid for and Tusla are tearing the ass out of him for child support, when the factory folded/ buildings closed down, he ended up at the end of the bar? Nobody is buying him a drink!

Be positive, be happy you will attract better people. This is really about your jealousy and feeling inadequate rather than his success.

twowheelsonly · 31-12-2019 05:51PM

I'd be willing to bet that the guy in the OP is young and probably on his first trip home since he moved abroad.
Cut him some slack. I used to think that these fellas were dipso's as well but they all grow out of it. He probably thinks that you want to hear about he's getting on and he's probably mad eager to tell someone....so seeing as you asked...

Once it becomes his life, and not a great first time adventure, he'll stop discussing it in such detail but for now it's an exciting time for him and comparison with the 'old life' is inevitable on the first trip home.

Edgware · 31-12-2019 08:56PM

Jamsiek wrote: »

No need for your pity. After a couple of weeks back for the Christmas you’ll find most people are more than ready to get back to their lives again. I know that’s the case with me anyway.

It all depends on where you live and how happy you are there. You seem to really struggle to understand how other people might have a different perspective than you. I really don’t get that attitude.

Some people prefer not to travel and continue to live in some one horse town with a high level of inbreeding between cousins unknownst ( some times) to each other.. Highlight of the week is the two Martys.
Marty on Winning Streak and Marty of the Sunday Game giving the rundown on d'match that was on d'telly

elperello · 31-12-2019 11:03PM

Edgware wrote: »

Some people prefer not to travel and continue to live in some one horse town with a high level of inbreeding between cousins unknownst ( some times) to each other.. Highlight of the week is the two Martys.
Marty on Winning Streak and Marty of the Sunday Game giving the rundown on d'match that was on d'telly

And some ended up going away when they didn't really want to and and they couldn't handle it.

I met people like this in UK and US and they had sad lives.

They would have been better off never leaving their home parish.

Edgware · 01-01-2020 12:33AM

elperello wrote: »

And some ended up going away when they didn't really want to and and they couldn't handle it.

I met people like this in UK and US and they had sad lives.

They would have been better off never leaving their home parish.

So. Thousands went and availed of opportunities that they would never have had in Ireland
A lot of those that went and ended up in tough circumstances were not educated or prepared for emigration. More than likely they would have ended up like their counterparts who never went. Living sad lives in Ireland

elperello · 01-01-2020 12:45AM

Edgware wrote: »

So. Thousands went and availed of opportunities that they would never have had in Ireland
A lot of those that went and ended up in tough circumstances were not educated or prepared for emigration. More than likely they would have ended up like their counterparts who never went. Living sad lives in Ireland

Granted a lot did well but we must acknowledge those who didn't as well.
We'll never know for sure how they would have fared at home.
Just the way of the world.
Of course there were a lot of sad lives in Ireland too.

Edgware · 01-01-2020 12:53AM

elperello wrote: »

Granted a lot did well but we must acknowledge those who didn't as well.
We'll never know for sure how they would have fared at home.
Just the way of the world.
Of course there were a lot of sad lives in Ireland too.

Certainly in London a lot of the big builders, Irish people in showbiz etc contribute a lot to Aisling and the other charities helping the Irish who have fallen on tough times.
After the war and all through the 50s there was not enough employment opportunities in
Ireland to cater for the population. Most had only primary school education. It was a tough time

Sunny Disposition · 01-01-2020 02:16AM

skooterblue2 wrote: »

You know the guy in the pub, at the end of the bar? The guy where the wife has left him then kicked him out of the house he paid for and Tusla are tearing the ass out of him for child support, when the factory folded/ buildings closed down, he ended up at the end of the bar? Nobody is buying him a drink!

Be positive, be happy you will attract better people. This is really about your jealousy and feeling inadequate rather than his success.

No, it’s not.

Sunny Disposition · 01-01-2020 02:21AM

Edgware wrote: »

Certainly in London a lot of the big builders, Irish people in showbiz etc contribute a lot to Aisling and the other charities helping the Irish who have fallen on tough times.
After the war and all through the 50s there was not enough employment opportunities in
Ireland to cater for the population. Most had only primary school education. It was a tough time

Some of the guys I knew when I first went over there couldn’t hack it.
We were used to nothing and all of a sudden we had a huge amount of disposable income, that a lot of guys spent badly. Lot of them died prematurely.
That said London was wonderful to many Irish guys, gave me a lifestyle I could never have had here, still benefiting from that time over 45 years later.

An Ri rua · 01-01-2020 03:43AM

Lisa Smith saying she was shooting this and shooting that. Not impressed at all, hi.
Why can't they just come home and re-integrate and stop this oh one time in death camp, sorry, band camp...

01-01-2020 03:45AM

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

Live in a small town. Met a young man last night home from abroad for Christmas who had a conversation with myself and another guy for about 20 minutes. He subtly bragged about how much he was earning, how important his ‘role’ is, how well his family are doing.

Even the collison brothers have to come home for a pint down the local occasionally!

01-01-2020 04:16AM

My opinion would be what’s the good in doing well if your not living among family and friends.

There is plenty of opportunity to do well for yourself in Ireland, even more so for people who live around home and have access to a free site to build a house on (a house many living abroad could only dream of). Ireland is one of the best places in the world to live in, people move here from every corner of the world. I really just don’t understand why anyone would want to leave

Jamsiek · 01-01-2020 04:24AM

Madalyn Proud Sculpture wrote: »

My opinion would be what’s the good in doing well if your not living among family and friends.

There is plenty of opportunity to do well for yourself in Ireland, even more so for people who live around home and have access to a free site to build a house on (a house many living abroad could only dream of). Ireland is one of the best places in the world to live in, people move here from every corner of the world. I really just don’t understand why anyone would want to leave

I already replied to an earlier comment from you about this.
Here goes again. Different people have different interests and perspectives to you. Why is this an issue with you?
You seem to have a problem with people wanting to live where they like.

For many people, Ireland does not have the same opportunities as some other counties. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious or living wherever you want. It’s also possible to make lots of friends anywhere and it’s great.

You are happy where you live and it’s enough for you but it might not be enough for other people.

ceadaoin. · 01-01-2020 04:25AM

Madalyn Proud Sculpture wrote: »

My opinion would be what’s the good in doing well if your not living among family and friends.

There is plenty of opportunity to do well for yourself in Ireland, even more so for people who live around home and have access to a free site to build a house on (a house many living abroad could only dream of). Ireland is one of the best places in the world to live in, people move here from every corner of the world. I really just don’t understand why anyone would want to leave

Maybe because most people don't just get given a "free site" and if they did, they wouldn't have the money to build a house. Also, have you seen the standard of houses in countries like the US? Like seriously, most irish people could only dream of owning a house that is just a normal one there. Its really not that hard to understand why anyone would leave.

mandrake04 · 01-01-2020 05:18AM

Madalyn Proud Sculpture wrote: »

My opinion would be what’s the good in doing well if your not living among family and friends.

Well thats all that is just your narrow opinion which you are entitled to, people can always make new friends and make their own family and still lead a fulfilling quality of life.

Plenty people live abroad, move home.... then they move abroad again.

They would have a far broader opinion than you.

cian68 · 01-01-2020 05:25AM

Madalyn Proud Sculpture wrote: »

even more so for people who live around home and have access to a free site to build a house on

Sure if I had that opportunity I'd never leave my parents post code but I'm not sure that is the norm

mandrake04 · 01-01-2020 06:32AM

cian68 wrote: »

Sure if I had that opportunity I'd never leave my parents post code but I'm not sure that is the norm

I have that opportunity, but even then it’s not ideal as I would presumably have to work in Dublin which is at best 1.5hr commute. This was always my backup plan for the last 20 years, but it’s funny how an open mind and unintentional choices can influence the hand of fate on your shoulder and guide you to unexpected opportunities.

01-01-2020 12:14PM

Madalyn Proud Sculpture wrote: »

My opinion would be what’s the good in doing well if your not living among family and friends.

There is plenty of opportunity to do well for yourself in Ireland, even more so for people who live around home and have access to a free site to build a house on (a house many living abroad could only dream of). Ireland is one of the best places in the world to live in, people move here from every corner of the world. I really just don’t understand why anyone would want to leave

Weren't you in galway for years as you couldn't get a job in Cork? If you had to go to England or wherever for work you would have done so.
Your family weren't in galway and you had to bring your laundry home to mammy every weekend iirc.

Sunny Disposition · 01-01-2020 01:44PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Even the collison brothers have to come home for a pint down the local occasionally!

Those lads seem quite grounded, doubt they steer
Conversations around to their income to people they know from old and meet once every year or two.

01-01-2020 01:54PM

Augeo wrote: »

Weren't you in galway for years as you couldn't get a job in Cork? If you had to go to England or wherever for work you would have done so.
Your family weren't in galway and you had to bring your laundry home to mammy every weekend iirc.

I wouldn’t have. I spent a brief period in the Uk but absolutely hated living away from Ireland so I packed in the job and moved home. I just stuck it out without a job from then until something suitable could be found Ireland (excluding Dublin as I never wanted to live there either).

Your locations are the wrong way around also. But living elsewhere in Ireland from home was ok with me as it was always temporary and always easy to head home any day you felt like it. Also same pace of life, same news on the tv, same everything really and totally different to being abroad. I always angled by career to make sure it would give me opportunities close to home sooner or later and I managed that over a year ago. It just happens so also be a pretty good career but I’d have settled for lesser jobs to enable me settle down back home.

Just to add I’ve no issue with people who want to live abroad, good luck to them I just find it very very hard to understand why people want to do it, an opinion I’m very entitled to have. I was just talking to a neighbour last weekend who was saying how great it is I’m settling down back at home and how they are so disappointed that two of their children are fairly settled abroad and show no signs of returning. They would love to be seeing them everyday and be doing stuff together the way I do with my parents.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 01-01-2020 03:09PM

Madalyn Proud Sculpture wrote: »

My opinion would be what’s the good in doing well if your not living among family and friends.

There is plenty of opportunity to do well for yourself in Ireland, even more so for people who live around home and have access to a free site to build a house on (a house many living abroad could only dream of). Ireland is one of the best places in the world to live in, people move here from every corner of the world. I really just don’t understand why anyone would want to leave

While there are immigrants from many countries, let’s not kid ourselves that it’s a major dream location. We’re a minor nation and the weather alone puts a lot of people off.

As for a free site, my parents had one for me but I didn’t use it as it would have meant staying in an economically-depressed part of the country. I’m glad my parents made money from selling it instead.

01-01-2020 04:11PM

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

While there are immigrants from many countries, let’s not kid ourselves that it’s a major dream location. We’re a minor nation and the weather alone puts a lot of people off.

As for a free site, my parents had one for me but I didn’t use it as it would have meant staying in an economically-depressed part of the country. I’m glad my parents made money from selling it instead.

The site was more of an example of one way how it can be beneficial to your finances to be living in your home area. I would definitely see in my group of friends that the people who have always lived at home/around the home area or have moved back to settle down are more financially secure also, own their own homes sooner and with smaller mortgages, have much cheaper or free child care etc.

As for econimcially depressed areas, yes there are but in most cases people are within a reasonable commute of a city large town with lots of employers and if living in their home area (or even living in Ireland for good) is your goal then you should be tailoring your area of work and work experience to match the jobs available.

Also Ireland is far from a minor nation we have one of the best places in the world to live for a long list of reasons and we are a very important country in word business (tech, medical and pharma in particular), world agriculture and tourism among other things.

Anyway the above isn’t really what the thread is about to me it’s one part of why I want to live in Ireland but there are many others, simply not wanting to live abroad being a main reason.

Mr.Wemmick · 01-01-2020 04:30PM

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

Hope this thread doesn’t come off like I dislike most people who emigrate and come back.
It’s really just ones who do a lot of boasting in a short space of time in an effort to impress.

I suppose what’s really interesting is why such a person would want to impress someone they mightn’t see again for a year or two.

There is no perfect place to live. All places have their positives and negatives.. and I reckon those who come back and talk up their position in life in their new adopted country has more to do with them trying to convince themselves of their own success in living somewhere new, grass greener etc.. and using the old crowd as an audience for that purpose.

Truth is you can live anywhere and be happy. I have moved umpteen times and lived all over. I can tell you all the sh!te things about each place and the positives. No matter where we are in the world, we largely stay the same and could easily live anywhere. We just need to let go of the idea that one place is better than another, it's not.

Returning emigrants who big themselves up in an unsuccessful bid to impress

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