My husband is a fussy eater, I need help

Doctors room ghost · 10-05-2018 11:45AM

HOLY ****BALLS.
Achy belly mc cheese puffs needs to seriously get his sh1t together.

Dixie Chick · 10-05-2018 11:58AM

Are you able to communicate properly with him? So that if ye sat and had a chat about this that it would be just that, and not him having a **** fit ? If so then I would definitely do this, wait til he is fed first though

He needs to be involved with the meal planning if this is how he is going to treat each meal time. If ye sit and draw a list up together of the things he will eat and then make a general plan for the week and promise to stick to it.

My own fella used to be a bit like this, well he would automatically suggest a take away or would shoot down my suggestions so eventually we did have to have a talk about it and I just said that I was trying to be healthy and smart with my money and would always plan my food the day before and if he didn't like what I was having to make other arrangements. So one month he was FLAT broke and looking at what he was spending a day on fast food , a breakfast roll, then a subway, then either chipper or pizza in the evenings, he realised he had spent about €600 on meals. It was an eye opener for him and he now eats whatever I produce and sometimes I will just make something he doesn't like because I like it and he sorts something for himself out.

I think a proper chat and a plan going forward is needed. And if he is not willing to do that, then I think there may be bigger issues.

Dial Hard · 10-05-2018 11:59AM

I honestly think this thread should be in PI/RI, not Food.

cmoidd wrote: »

But in faireness he does a lot with our child, he plays with him, entertain him, yesterday while i was cooking he gave him his bath (the bathroom was a total mess but he did gave him his bath), he is not all bad, he helps a bit[

That is not "doing a lot with your child", that is doing the absolute bare minimum. It speaks volumes for how skewed your perception is that you even consider this making an effort, tbh.

cmoidd wrote: »

I tried to make him eat at the table, but he just want to lay down on his sofa with his laptop on his legs! it remind me of one time, he was having a big fat steak with chips and he asked me cut the meat for him because he couldn't eat it laying down I didn't do it OBVIOUSLY so he had to seat up to eat...

If this is true then you have issues in your marriage far, far bigger than your husband being a fussy eater.

cursai · 10-05-2018 12:01PM

I'd say you head is fried with his cheesy demands. He sounds like a little puff.

Doctors room ghost · 10-05-2018 12:02PM

God help the animal that gave its life to provide that steak when the ungrateful bellyache mccheesepuff couldn’t even be bothered sitting up on the couch to cut it.
Fukn hell

cmoidd · 10-05-2018 12:03PM

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Is this your son or your husband? It's very childish and manipulative behaviour. I wonder if you would put up with it if your son behaved like that.

Rather than making meals day to day, try getting him tonight down and plan out the food for the week. Get him to say what dinners he likes and agree get him to come with you to do the weekly shop.

He needs to learn about food because it's not fair to expect you to be a mind reader when he can't tell you what he wants. The first thing is he needs to learn about food so he knows what he wants.

oh no if it would be my son, noway i would let him talk to me like that! but in a way my son is the same, if he doesn't eat his dinner, he tries to get junk food after it, and he usually succeed, i'm weak... i need to put them both back on the right track! but i'm so tired of it...

Yes we need to plan meal for the week, hopefully it will help

Minderbinder wrote: »

If the man likes plain food give him plain food.

A lot of Irish people don’t like food covered in sauce and our relationship with food is more practical than the French. Men are very habitual usually and they don’t really like trying new things while women like to try new foods even at the risk of not liking it.

Your husband is working all day and wants to come home to a simple dinner. He doesn’t want to play the gourmet lottery.

I never stop him to eat junk food, if he wants too, i'd never force him to play the "gourmet lottery" with french food, i just need him to tell him what he wants to eat, a lot of time I planned meal and here he is, refusing it because he is not in the mood, i can't help him if doesn't tell me, i'm not mind reader!

theteal wrote: »

Did this place turn into AH? Is this a joke? Has to be.....?

if only...

Triangle wrote: »

You need to not try and change someone who doesn't want to change. I presume you married him cod you loved the person he is, not the person you want him to be.

I never tried to change him, that's not my plan, all i want is for him to be happy and eat what he likes, by telling me, because he doesn't know himself, i was hoping to get few ideas here...

scarepanda wrote: »

By going the take it or leave it route!

He's acting like a toddler, so be prepared for the toddler like tantrums when you stop being his maid.

Do what you would do with an older toddler, sit him down this evening. Explain to him that you would love to cook for him, but from now on if he wants you to cook for him then he eats what's on the menu at the dinner table (and you cook a mixture of your stuff and his, without stressing yourself). And tell him that it's up to him whether he takes it or leaves it after that, but that your only cooking the one meal. And leave it at that. He won't go hungry

You then proceed to have you dinner, and give your actual child the same options. They won't go hungry either.

That's exactly what i should do! and do both at the same time!

Pelvis · 10-05-2018 12:03PM

cmoidd wrote: »

But in faireness he does a lot with our child, he plays with him, entertain him, yesterday while i was cooking he gave him his bath (the bathroom was a total mess but he did gave him his bath), he is not all bad, he helps a bit

A true father of the year...

OP, you are a doormat in this relationship, you have two children, not one. Read over what you've written, read what other people have written. Do you want your son to be like this?

Sinister Kid · 10-05-2018 12:09PM

What a selfish ass.

I only quickly read over the thread so apologies if someone has already suggested this but have you asked his mother?
Surely this behavior didn't just start when he married you?

I hope for your sake your kids don't follow in his footsteps!!

Doctors room ghost · 10-05-2018 12:11PM

If I asked my missus to cut up a steak for me cos I couldn’t be bothered sitting up on a couch I can guarantee she would stab me with said steak knife.id be only a statistic.probably the last mention on rte news aswell.they would drop it in as the funny section before sport and weather.

solerina · 10-05-2018 12:12PM

I really don't know how you put up with him, he sounds like a spoiled 4 year old. Give him a choice eat this or make your own & stop being his maid !! I definitely couldn't live with a 'child' like your husband seems to be.

Dixie Chick · 10-05-2018 12:13PM

Sinister Kid wrote: »

What a selfish ass.

I only quickly read over the thread so apologies if someone has already suggested this but have you asked his mother?
Surely this behavior didn't just start when he married you?

I hope for your sake your kids don't follow in his footsteps!!

His mother has passed away

cnocbui · 10-05-2018 12:14PM

Tell him the truth - that you fear your marriage will not last unless he learns to broaden his culinary tastes. He doesn't have a clue or appreciate how lucky he is.

sbsquarepants · 10-05-2018 12:20PM

Dixie Chick wrote: »

So one month he was FLAT broke and looking at what he was spending a day on fast food , a breakfast roll, then a subway, then either chipper or pizza in the evenings, he realised he had spent about €600 on meals. It was an eye opener .

Holy shít.

€600 on takeaway food a month - I doubt I spend that in a year!:eek:

Would be quicker and cheaper to just buy a coffin and get it over and done with, no point waiting for the inevitable heart attack to do you in.

Sinister Kid · 10-05-2018 12:21PM

Dixie Chick wrote: »

His mother has passed away

Probably from the exhaustion of waiting hand & foot on her son.

Dixie Chick · 10-05-2018 12:23PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Holy shít.

€600 on takeaway food a month - I doubt I spend that in a year!:eek:

Would be quicker and cheaper to just buy a coffin and get it over and done with, no point waiting for the inevitable heart attack to do you in.

Yep, it was a shock. Included coffees as well, but still a huge crazy number but if you spend almost €20 a day on stuff it would add up!

It was a huge turning point for him and he eats so much better now and with cop on as well. But he needed a shock big time

kylith · 10-05-2018 12:37PM

cmoidd wrote: »

oh no if it would be my son, noway i would let him talk to me like that! but in a way my son is the same, if he doesn't eat his dinner, he tries to get junk food after it, and he usually succeed, i'm weak... i need to put them both back on the right track! but i'm so tired of it...

You can't stop a grown man eating junk food, true, but you can stop buying it. Tell him that there is no way you are going to raise your children to eat crap and wind up with heart disease and diabetes. If he wants to eat junk he can go to the shop and get it himself.

You say that he didn't start off like this. What happened there? Did youu pander to him once and after that he kept pushing till you were wrapped around his finger.

My partner is practically vegan and is easier to cater for than this. I recommend getting that famous French temper out and giving him what-for. When I think of the people that would kill for a French chef in their very own home... Mmmm, just thinking of that chicken and potatoes with ham and racelette....

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

If I asked my missus to cut up a steak for me cos I couldn’t be bothered sitting up on a couch I can guarantee she would stab me with said steak knife.id be only a statistic.probably the last mention on rte news aswell.they would drop it in as the funny section before sport and weather.

Aye. The words 'out of your goddam mind' would be the first thing past my lips. He'd want to have had two broken arms.

Sinister Kid · 10-05-2018 01:00PM

What's going to happen when the new baby comes? There is no way you will be able to keep up this charade with him.

Doctors room ghost · 10-05-2018 01:14PM

Sinister Kid wrote: »

What's going to happen when the new baby comes? There is no way you will be able to keep up this charade with him.

Bellyache mccheesepuff will probably throw a strop then too and demand that he gets breastfeeding aswell.

sbsquarepants · 10-05-2018 01:18PM

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

Bellyache mccheesepuff .

Is it just me or would this make a great username?

kylith · 10-05-2018 01:24PM

Should have used the bellyache as a teaching moment and said to the child ‘this is what happens when you eat rubbish instead of the lovely dinner I made you; you get sick’.

kylith · 10-05-2018 01:24PM

Should have used the bellyache as a teaching moment and said to the child ‘this is what happens when you eat rubbish instead of the lovely dinner I made you; you get sick’.

Cash_Q · 10-05-2018 01:28PM

Can't deal with reading 8 pages of this, but omg what are you doing putting up with his childish demands.

My husband is a fussy eater too and I got sick of him turning his nose up at whatever I suggested we cook (together). Now he gets his dinners in the shopping and I get mine and we each look after ourselves. He can make his own breakfast and lunch so can also manage his dinner. He's not a child.

I would just tell your husband to pick up bits in the shop that he prefers to eat, even if it's Micro Chips and frozen ready meals that's his business.

Your comment that he is out working and you should be a 'good wife' is outdated. You are working in the home raising the toddler and I presume you do all the housework just going by your sense of duty with the cooking.

He is an ADULT and can look after his own hunger and nutrition.

Doctors room ghost · 10-05-2018 01:29PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Is it just me or would this make a great username?

We should set up an account for old bellyache mccheesepuff and give him the password.then link him this thread.although the wife would probably have to set up the lap top and bring it into him on the couch he’s that lazy.

cmoidd · 10-05-2018 01:55PM

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

It's not fussy eating, it's being difficult. Coming in to you as you're reading your kid a bad time story and telling you he's feeling sick and it's all your fault because he ate a bag of cheese puffs??? Really??
.

No it was after story time

SusanC10 wrote: »

I think your Husband's behaviour is awful and I just couldn't put up with that.
I am a SAHM at the moment and my Husband works long hours plus a commute so I do the cooking Monday-Friday. No way would I continue to cook for him if he behaved like that.

Our Daughter is a fussy eater. She doesn't eat a lot of different foods but worse she may eat something this week and then refuse it the next.
I cook for all of us and put her portion on a plate in front of her. If she eats it great but there is no alternative provided and if she refuses it at a weekend she won't get Dessert. She doesn't have to finish the portion but she does need to make a good effort at it. So we leave it up to her.
If she wants a snack it must be Fruit/Veg/Yogurt.

I would try this approach with your Husband. Put Dinner on the Table in front of him. Offer no alternative. Stop buying Junk Food. See what happens.

I could try this approach for both of them!

Alun wrote: »

What I don't understand is how this didn't come to light early on in the relationship?

He wasn't acting like that when i met him, it just creep in slowly at the time, to this point of no return...

weiland79 · 10-05-2018 02:02PM

Surely the cutting up the steak for him comment is made up?
Did he ask you in jest, perhaps acknowledging his own ridiculousness through humour?

I dont have the writing skills to convey how my wife would react to me if i asked her to cut up my meat ( that kind of sounds rude)

Do you have to stand behind him to make sure he brushes his teeth and cleans behind his ears?

Im sorry for you troubles OP but im delighted i came across this thread this morning its brightened up an otherwise mundane Thursday with pictures of man child.

You should definitely post this in AH, he'd be savaged within an inch of his life and rightly so.

Cocobeans101 · 10-05-2018 02:03PM

I'm afraid that this is nothing to do with food, or food habits. It appears to be your whole way of marriage. The only blame that lies at your door is that you have allowed this behaviour to continue.

He may work during the day but you look after your son and the home. When he comes home from work it's 50/50 down the line. Maybe this is some sort of French thing but you are being treated like a doormat not a partner in a marriage. Take some time and think about the choices you have made and then I suggest you both see a marriage counsellor.

I would not lift a finger in his direction until he did something about this behaviour. Think about what you are teaching your son. Children learn by example. Good luck OP. I don't marriage is something to throw away lightly but how could a person be happy when they have married a man-child.

circadian · 10-05-2018 02:07PM

I don't mean to come across as offensive but he sounds like an absolute idiot.

He has a person at home, willing to cook dinner. Not chicken nuggets and chips but proper good eating and he turns his nose up at it?

I'll be honest here, and I know this isn't an option, but the behaviour and sense of entitlement coming from someone like that wouldn't wash with me for very long. He'd be out on his arse.

He's gone well beyond the pale in his treatment.

Doctors room ghost · 10-05-2018 02:10PM

Cocobeans101 wrote: »

I'm afraid that this is nothing to do with food, or food habits. It appears to be your whole way of marriage. The only blame that lies at your door is that you have allowed this behaviour to continue.

He may work during the day but you look after your son and the home. When he comes home from work it's 50/50 down the line. Maybe this is some sort of French thing but you are being treated like a doormat not a partner in a marriage. Take some time and think about the choices you have made and then I suggest you both see a marriage counsellor.

I would not lift a finger in his direction until he did something about this behaviour. Think about what you are teaching your son. Children learn by example. Good luck OP. I don't marriage is something to throw away lightly but how could a person be happy when they have married a man-child.

And she’s pregnant at 7 months or so and bellyache mccheesepuff wants her running around and tending to his needs and cooking him up stuff cos the stuff she cooked wasn’t to his liking.boll1x to all that.he should be doing the cooking for them if he’s around.talk about an ungrateful article.
A swift kick in the stones he wants.

Hannibal_Smith · 10-05-2018 02:10PM

cmoidd wrote: »

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

It's not fussy eating, it's being difficult. Coming in to you as you're reading your kid a bad time story and telling you he's feeling sick and it's all your fault because he ate a bag of cheese puffs??? Really??
.

No it was after story time

Ah well....that's alright then (???!!!)

cmoidd · 10-05-2018 02:12PM

cnocbui wrote: »

Tell him the truth - that you fear your marriage will not last unless he learns to broaden his culinary tastes. He doesn't have a clue or appreciate how lucky he is.

I didn't realise it was that much of big deal, the way i am with him, i know it wasn't right the way he is acting sometimes but should we not cook for our husband? For me it is normal, it's kind of my duties
But by reading all your comment maybe i should be harder on him

My husband is a fussy eater, I need help

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