My husband is a fussy eater, I need help

mmg0305

mmg0305 wrote: »

If you have prepared and served a meal, there are only 3 acceptable choices for him

1. Eat it
2. Go hungry
3. Make himself something else

I cannot believe these toddler tantrums from a grown man, even when he's asked what he would like to eat.

Exactly!!! in fact I would have put it slightly differently:
1. Thank you and eat it and offer to do the dishes
2. Thank you, politely decline and then go hungry
3. Thank you and ask if you wouldn't mind too much if he made something else's he had the taste for it all day. This is only acceptable occasionally.

Toddlers are cute and growing and developing and their tantrums come as a by product of their psychological development. Toddler tantrums pass after a year or so. This behaviour needs to be nipped in the bud asap. Everybody works, everybody gets tired, most learn how to handle these everyday feelings.

theteal

I'll take that as a mini result, fair play OP







although I must admit I'm not a fan of frankfurter sausages (can of worms open. . . .)

Wabbit Ears

OP. It DID go well.!!!

Training your husband takes time. My wife says I'm still a work in progress.

khaldrogo

cmoidd wrote:

.....And he got upset.... then later on after story time for our son, he cane to me saying, he felt puky and it was because of me, I didn’t cook anything for him so he had to eat an entire big bag cheese puff...

Ffs!!!!!! A gaint baby is what you have there. He should be cooking for you and let you rest....

mloc123

Good luck dealing with 3 kids in a couple of months OP

Cash_Q

At the end of the day he is utterly disrespectful towards you. You're a saint to pit up with his stripey behaviour. It sounds like communication is a major issue.

Well done for standing your ground this evening, if it was me I would not have prepared or served anything for him.

CiarraiAbu2

I blame the Irish mammies

cmoidd

Cash_Q wrote: »

Well done for standing your ground this evening, if it was me I would not have prepared or served anything for him.

Thanks, it wasn't easy...

backspin.

cmoidd wrote: »

He does some cooking, maybe once a month, he likes cooking roast chicken, with stuffing that's really tasty the way he does it

And he likes baking rhubarb crumble
It's a pity he doesn't cook more often, it's really nice when he does it



Yep, it didn't go well...
So told him things needs to change, from now on he needs to prepare his own meal if he doesn't want to eat the same than me
He said he doesn't like food, and doesn't know anything about it, i'm the one that know all about it so i should be the one do the cooking.
I told him i don't know much about food either, all i do is simple stuff
I offer to look at some recipes book to give him some ideas, but he doesn't want

I asked him to swich places for a week, he will be the one doing all the cooking to see how it goes, he refused straight away saying he doesn't want to do it he hates cooking, so i told him i don't like it either, why should i be the one in charge, why not him? i'm not his maid but his equal partner, he should be the one helping with the cooking not the other way around because with the pregnacy i'm really tired all the time, so that's would be nice if he could help

He got upset (as planned) saying all i do is shouting at him, he is always the one to be blamed for everything, and he shut down, took his laptop and went on it, that was the end of the talk for him.. I kept on for a little while but he just blanked me...
And was not talking to me anymore.

So i just went off for a couple of hours, when i got home i could hear him saying to our son FINALLY from upstairs
He came down and still didn't talk to me

So i start cooking (frankfurt sausages wrap in ham, with a homemade tomato sauce made with a bechamel sauce and tomato puree and some cheese)
After i put it in the oven and told him what i prepared i asked him if would like to eat what i was eating, he answered me in a rough tone NO
I then said, that's fine, then make your own arrangement for your dinner, i'm having this.

Maybe 10 min later, he came in the kitchen asking what was in the recipe, after explanation, he said, there nothing else to eat so i don't have the choice i'll have to eat it!
And ate it, and liked it, he wouldn't admit it but he did, he got 2 servings
And we all ate at the table

It's a 1st in a long time yeahh

He was a bit jealous of my son having nuggets for his supper, but it was going to be too much for him to try this, i'll need to start little by little with him, he knows tomorrow he going to have try carrot and chicken with his pasta

So at the end, my husband is still upset at me for "forcing him" to eat and blaming him for everything, he is still really cold with, but we're getting there!

You did bad picking i'm afraid. You married an assh**e.

Heres Johnny

Will you marry me OP?
I'll eat your food

ED E

Mods: This is farrrrr more appropriate to Relationships than food. Issue is the husband is a twat and nothing to do with food.

James 007

My god I find this thread very funny. I know its a serious issue. I taught my brother was bad. We sent him to a training centre. This is a brief clip of the two guys that trained him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SAjipJEItw

cmoidd

James 007 wrote: »

My god I find this thread very funny. I know its a serious issue. I taught my brother was bad. We sent him to a training centre. This is a brief clip of the two guys that trained him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SAjipJEItw

That's funny

blackvalley

theteal wrote: »

Did this place turn into AH? Is this a joke? Has to be.....?

Couldnt have put it better myself. This whole thread has to be a wind up.
My solution to this extraordinary fantasy that you present is to tell the horrendous gob****e to 1/eat what you prepare 2/ prepare his own food 3 get to fuch out.

unkel

I presume you are a full time housewife and your husband has a full time paid job? If so, that's a traditional role pattern. Nothing wrong with that, lots of people are in a relationship like that and I guess it would feel natural to most people, particularly with small children

I take it you discussed this role pattern and agreed to it? To the transition to it? You were probably working in a full time paid job too until you had your child?

In this role pattern I guess it would be mostly up to you to do cooking & cleaning, but he has to help out too. Being a housewife takes & mother of a young child takes a lot more time than 45 hours a week he spends working and commuting. And is arguably the tougher job

cmoidd wrote: »

He does some cooking, maybe once a month, he likes cooking roast chicken, with stuffing that's really tasty the way he does it

And he likes baking rhubarb crumble
It's a pity he doesn't cook more often, it's really nice when he does it

There has been a lot of bad things sad about your husband, mostly true. But I'd like to concentrate on the good. That is good. Encourage him to cook a decent family meal say once a week (at the weekend) for starters. Praise him for it and enjoy the family time at the kitchen table. And engage with him about trying other food that you cook. One step at a time.

And as others said, he does need to be told some home truths. About his behaviour and his food habits. It needs to change. Or he will die young and won't see his children grow up. Is that what he wants? And if he puts your child in the bath, he tidies up after.

the14thwarrior

what an idiot he is.
you are in for a very long miserable life if you continue this way.

but here's an idea.
get him to write out a list of dinners. or you write it with him.
he gets to circle what he wants.
you can cook it.

his choice.
his control.

he has to meet you halfway.

but he sounds like an idiot

Tell me how

the14thwarrior wrote: »

what an idiot he is.
you are in for a very long miserable life if you continue this way.

but here's an idea.
get him to write out a list of dinners. or you write it with him.
he gets to circle what he wants.
you can cook it.

his choice.
his control.

he has to meet you halfway.

but he sounds like an idiot

This does not equate to meeting the OP halfway.

I am astounded that this man proved in any way appealing enough to marry.

CelticRambler

cmoidd wrote: »

He was a bit jealous of my son having nuggets for his supper, but it was going to be too much for him to try this, i'll need to start little by little with him, he knows tomorrow he going to have try carrot and chicken with his pasta

Too much? How old is your son? If he was in école maternelle in France, he'd be having that kind of meal every day for lunch! Forget little-by-little: tell your son the recipes are changing from right now ... your son will accept it pretty quickly, and then it'll be clear to both of them that it's the older male who's being a baby when it comes to food.

Dyr

I don't have any solutions but I knew a few lads who were like this, only liked a few specific meals, usually junk food or spuds and only drank one thing, like coke

They were, predictably, idiots. I assume they all copped on eventually or died from dietary conditions

Jellybaby1

I've read about almost all of this thread. A lot of posters have told you to ask him what he wants to eat. Reminds me of my husband shortly after we got married in the 70's and we were in our 20's. When I asked him what type of food he would like for the next days dinner he got very angry and said "just cook it and whatever it is I'll eat it!" I was shocked at his response that day. But, I believe I know what made him respond in that way then. He wasn't raised by his parents, he lived with relatives most of his single life. He would come home from work, and sit down and eat whatever was handed to him. He was never asked what he would like. And he probably never even knew what he was eating and neither did he ask. He never had to do any shopping so doesn't know what is needed to cook a meal. Your husband could be the same. When you asked your husband what he wants, he really doesn't know what is beef or lamb or pork. When my husband is in the butchers with me the only thing he can recognise is sausages!! He is a little better these days, but not much. Occasionally he can still say, "what's this we're having". :rolleyes:

I don't know if your husband is Irish, but he sounds like a very old fashioned Irish man. They have never been involved in domestic life at all and it is all foreign to them. And worse, on top of that, they don't want to be involved. My advice is to get him to talk, about his life before you met him. Did his mother cook, was she a decent cook? Has he brothers or sisters who might be able to give you ideas? Surely most Irishmen will eat a chicken curry, beef stew, chops, roasts, shepherds pie? All simple Irish food. Is he Irish?

The one thing you must accept is that this is NOT your fault. It isn't always possible to change someone who doesn't want to change.

My last thought......I hope this is not a wind up!

robindch

cmoidd wrote: »

i’m 7 month and half pregnant, so I have something else to worry about than food!

Tell him he has six weeks to get his diet in gear. After that, he'll be cooking his own cornflakes and milk.

Bigus

Wow , you're all very harsh ,

He's great with kids ,

The op didn't list his good stuff maybe he's a , millionaire, big lad, great comedian , not overweight, no infertility problems,to say the least

so be careful to judge and opine.


For all we know he could be Elon Musk ,
So go easy

Tell me how

Bigus wrote:

He's great with kids ,

Why wouldn't he be. He is one.

Shemale

cmoidd wrote: »

If only it was this simple. He will get upset... it’s what I did yesterday, I cooked a lovely chicken stew for today, then prepared a raclette cheese with potatoes and ham for my supper, I wouldn’t eat it. So I didn’t prepare anything for him. And asked him to make his own dinner, while I was done cooking, tired, it’s a bit of work... seating at the table about to start my supper, he came in the kitchen and said what’s for me? I said I don’t know, pick what you want. And he got upset....
then later on after story time for our son, he cane to me saying, he felt puky and it was because of me, I didn’t cook anything for him so he had to eat an entire big bag cheese puff...

So you had a baby with a baby and you are expecting another baby by this baby.

Let him starve, you need to look after yourself and the baby. If he keeps sulking you need the naughty step. If he is hungry enough he will cook for himself

Bogfairy

Prepare him a nice kick up the hole, and no harm to give him seconds

the_syco

cmoidd wrote: »

Hi everyone,

My husband is a fussy eater, and so does is our son... he probably takes that from his daddy...

I'm wondering why it's an issue now? Have you changed diets?

Shemale

cmoidd wrote: »

That's just mean now

He is not a bad husband, he is trying his best...

Before I typed anything predictive text suggested "b0llox".

I couldnt disagree with you more, he is either a petulant child or a controlling bully.

If you let him treat you like this the kids will too, he sounds trying.

If he was trying, his 7 month pregnant wife would get a hello kiss and be ordered to relax on the couch the second he got in, he would bring your kid to bed and do the dinner.

Uncharted

We're getting near breakfast time now OP.....

I hope you are being really quiet sneaking through the kitchen while you prepare the King's breakfast.
Pregnant women can be rather noisy stomping around.

You know how he needs his sleep....

sbsquarepants

Jellybaby1 wrote: »

When my husband is in the butchers with me the only thing he can recognise is sausages!! He is a little better these days, but not much. Occasionally he can still say, "what's this we're having". :rolleyes:

!

I wasn't raised anything like your husband, plus I'm a decent cook and have a fairly eclectic palette - but I struggle to differentiate different meats, either by look and sometimes even by taste - my missus reckons I have some type of "meat dyslexia" (or possibly some form of brain damage!:D)
Give me pork and tell me it's beef and odds are I won't rumble you!

Funny you mention sausages - she once asked me to take sausages out of the freezer for the dinner and what I actually defrosted was chicken fillets!

Dixie Chick

You actually did succeed there last night with dinner. I can imagine it was not pleasant to have to do that and keep strong but you did and it worked even if he was ungrateful about the dinner.

Keep it up , sounds like you are well able for him and the moods!!