Men No Longer Want to Date, Why?

Wezz

Plenty of men are dating if the guys I know are anything to go by. Priorities have changed maybe, marriage and children isn’t for everyone. Doesn’t mean relationships aren’t happening. If the OP really is 27 I’d say part of it is few people at that age are wanting to get married. Give it a few years and lay off the dating sites.

ShamanRing

I think any of the male posters on this thread who have yet to be with a woman should probably back out of the convo, I’m not sure their perspective adds anything here.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164320#Comment_119164320

Mens rights are human rights. Allegedly...

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164324#Comment_119164324

Or to quote one of poet Philip Larkin's less elevated lines: 'I don't want to take a girl out and spend circa pounds 5 when I can toss off in five minutes, free, and have the rest of the evening to myself.'

ShamanRing

Larkin loved his porn, but he was not short of women. Sure he spent most of his life having Monica and Maeve fight over him.

Dating is grand these days, but lads, accept that you too do not get the Disney experience either. You won’t be loved just for being yourself… you gotta have your worth.

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164229#Comment_119164229

I have been burned badly in a past relationship that became controlling so I am slow to commit to someone now.

Tis true if you go for the traditional happy family setup with mortgage,kids & both parents working you are pretty much throwing yourselves to the wolves. So much extra expense every month and you are at the mercy of how much society wants to fleece you. It has just become unaffordable for a great deal of people. Whereas a single parent can apply for all sorts of help.

Knew a few lads who went the whole hog with the traditional family setup - new build house, expensive wedding & honeymoon and none of them were on a great wage. They landed themselves into a right uphill battle for the next 20-30 years and would be a disaster altogether if they had to get divorced.

EmmetSpiceland

The thread has taken a sharp “Current Affairs” turn.

carmel1992

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164639#Comment_119164639

To be fair, it gets more difficult the longer you wait and I think so many make that mistake. The reason I say this is because I know people who did that and they are still single five years later.

MrMusician18

The OP opens with a bold statement that men are no longer dating but offers no evidence that this is the case.

The assertion is completely groundless.

And yet, two threads on AH:

🤔

Patsy167

PLenty of men are willing to date. I see plenty of my neighbors with online profiles. Most of them are married though!

fryup

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164657#Comment_119164657

really? and what poem might that be my good sir?

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164799#Comment_119164799

Wouldn’t be too hasty in calling married men on dating sites adulterers. There’s plenty of couples who would have, what you might call, “an understanding” out there.

Wouldn't be my thing, at all, but it happens.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164642#Comment_119164642

What are you doing about it?

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164650#Comment_119164650

Dear women,

Why are you so terrible?

Regards,

Men

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164810#Comment_119164810

Not a poem, as you probably guessed, an excerpt from a letter to his old mucker Kingsley Amis

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/they-may-not-mean-to-but-they-do-part-one-of-the-authorised-biography-of-philip-larkin-1497669.html

Wezz

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164721#Comment_119164721

Easy solution to this is to meet people in real life. Worked for me :)

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164909#Comment_119164909

Are you ranting against men's' rights here or mysogny? Or are you claiming they're the same thing?

I see a lot of condescending dismissive remarks from you about this that don't actually say anything - can you put forward your position in a respectful and concise tone or are you just venting?

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164379#Comment_119164379

maybe read something yourself which makes you realise that contrary to what feminist thought teaches , 99% of men in history had no more power than women of the time , only difference today is that for the 99% , women actually have more power , beit the justice system , family courts , health and social spending budgets ( homeless statistics show its overwhelmingly men ) , list goes on

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119164615#Comment_119164615

Because viewing women as victims ( patriarchy structure etc ) is an article of faith for progressives , viewing men as inherently responsible for this is another article of faith

progressives instinctively view any sort of mens rights movements as a sort of support group for abusers even they dont know the individuals involved in them

CPTM

I think the age thing is the big piece. The OP is 27.. At that age most people strangely feel they're 'getting old' and have a few years left before that middle 'family' part of their lives begin.

Sometimes I wonder why we do things backwards. Wouldn't people do better to have kids when they're 22 or 23 when they have all the energy in the world for toddlers, and do the travelling later in their 40s and 50s when they have money?

As opposed to doing all the travelling in their 20s and 30s when they have no money and having kids in their 40s and 50s when they have less energy?

Doing the 'settled' part of life first would also make it more likely to get a small place and slowly move up the property ladder as the kids grow, as opposed to trying to get a family home in their late 30s.

On paper that makes sense to me, but obviously we're not that way in real life.

chuchuchu

We have shifted away from relationships been about family creation to now just dating. It changes the dynamic when a woman chooses a partner, so the stable dependable nice guy might be put off till her 30's if she so chooses that she wants a familiy. I think more and more are chosing not to. The society is becoming more shallow, materilistic and nihilistic.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119165174#Comment_119165174

I was being sarcastic.

I think the men's rights movement is bollox, frankly. It was the precursor to hard right conservative movements in the US such as the tea party, QAnon and Trump. They don't give a sh*t about men and only use things like mental health issues when they can complain about women, particularly feminists.

You'll never see them volunteer with or support charities or anything of that nature. It's about spreading outrage online and nothing more.

Hope this clears things up.

85603

Through basic survival needs, business, war, love-rivalry and just general ingenuity men have developed so much in the way of various technologies, social institutions and fields of study that we have almost entirely removed our own usefulness.

A lot of women basically don't need a man any more. Men (through competing) replaced themselves with mass production, instant communication and all the luxuries and securities of the modern day. Now all a woman has to do is lay around at home choosing what to have delivered. Including that.

Any problem; phone, credit card. Send somebody to fix my problem.

Men know we're not needed so much any more.

3rd world pussy is the future.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119165304#Comment_119165304

So, misogyny then. Fair enough and I'd agree with you.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119165443#Comment_119165443

My apologies for above. I've seen these debates here so often I find myself just resorting to pithy comments as opposed to posting in a more lucid manner.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119165535#Comment_119165535

Do you know what those words mean? I just asked what you're doing about it. If it's truly important to you, you'd be advocating change. In the age of social media, this is easier than ever.

JupiterKid

I'm not surprised that young men don't see the point in dating or feel it's worth the hassle, when Western society has degraded the role and collective self-worth of men and boys without finding a positive new direction for men generally. It's fantastic that women's rights have advanced so much but those of men have been neglected, ridiculed and outright dismissed.

Fundamental economic and social changes over the past 30 years mean the raising of family in the West in more costly than ever and is also much less valued by wider society, children are increasingly seen as a costly burden getting in the way with self-seeking goals for adults and I have the distinct feeling that people don't seem to be prepared to make large sacrifices anymore - they must have the lavish "shakedown" wedding, nice fully furnished house and when the kids finally come along they will be lavished with material goods but far less "quality time" with parents and siblings than ever before.

But I also think our housing catastrophe - warned by policy analysts including yours truly a decade ago - has been a key driver of making Generation Rent feel "what's the bloody point?"

I am a gay man in a LTR and extremely unlikely to ever have kids at this stage, but I can see that Ireland and the West in general has become very family unfriendly and this trend cannot continue indefinitely without serious issues down the line. ..

A very good book to read about this malaise is titled Affluenza.

Horn_of_Africa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119165304#Comment_119165304

You sound angry, go outside and enjoy the sunshine.

Horn_of_Africa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119165434#Comment_119165434

The only sensible purpose of life isn't to be useful, it's to enjoy it as muchbas you can before you die.