Girls and OnlyFans

1123heavy

guy2231 wrote: »

Some of the posts on here and other threads I feel like the average person on boards has an IQ of 56.

Because most have an aversion to their partners/daughters prostituting themselves online? Yes that must mean we lack intelligence

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

I've heard this a lot from guys, but don't be too sure you'd feel that way after a few weeks. I had a similar opinion when I was young, with the usual attitude that it didn't matter as long as she was hot.

However, I had a girlfriend who was a stripper in Oz. I'd met her at the stripclub, got to know each other, and started dating after a while. On the surface, she was wonderful, but after a few weeks, and I got to know her better, it became very different. She was damaged, in terms of how she saw the value of relationships, and being faithful. After we broke up, she set me up with two other strippers, who I dated, with similar results. Absolutely gorgeous, with great bodies, but messed up in the head. Great material for friendships though.

These women are never off-duty, so to speak. They're always flirting with others. They're always seeking to gain the attention of strangers, and convert that into something valuable for themselves. Now, I was never bothered by their jobs, I still feel that we all sell ourselves in different ways to others, and stripping (as long as there's no sex involved), isn't something to get jealous over. All the same, it doesn't stay that way, and invariably, due to all the offers they receive, in the course of their work, the lines blur, and they engage in crap which isn't right [if you want any kind of decent relationship]. And while we were together, I was friends with their friends, their partners, and from conversations, I found that this was common.. extremely common. Some men don't care what their women get up to, who they have sex with, etc.. but they're a minority..

I'm still friends with all three women. They're all finished with stripping, and have made the move towards normalising their lives, but their mindsets haven't changed that much. Their experiences have warped their views of other people, especially men, and they're not very trustworthy when it comes to relationships, even though they've married, and had children since then. Lovely people to have as friends, but not as anything else.

I think there's a lot of willful ignorance when it comes to these situations. The ignoring of realistic appreciation for how people behave. The expectation that someone can be a devil in work, but be an angel in your relationship.. but it simply doesn't work that way. Very few people can completely separate their work from their personal lives, and this is even more so, when their work consists of manipulating other people.

A lingerie model would be an entirely different situation, and I suspect I wouldn't be bothered. Their work is very much under controlled circumstances, and there's no reliance on manipulating others to guarantee income. Their appearance is enough to gain work.. and the lines between work/personal life are very clear. Not so with strippers. Although, I think anyone doing modelling for the big scene (Victoria secret, etc) would have to rely more than on their appearance, and there's likely a lot more going on in the background. A bit like the things many actresses have to do to get roles. But for any average lingerie model, for whom it's a part-time job, or something they only plan to do for a few years, I wouldn't think there's much wrong with it. Really depends on the culture. I've dated models in China, and seen the lifestyles they had, with the need to party with those funding the scene, and I'd be very iffy about it. There's a lot of seediness that goes on in some countries.. and the expectation of what models (both genders) have to do, in order to be successful.

I'd say that OnlyFans is similar to stripping, and would be very careful of anyone engaged in it. When people do this kind of work, it affects the way they think.. and that's important for anyone who is connected to them. It's much the same way with other roles which are aggressively seeking a response from others, as you'll find it affects that person's attitude towards others. (Working in Credit Control/Debt Collections seriously affected my perception of others and stayed with me for a long time after I finished with that role)

I dunno, I've met a fair few models who are also on OF and they seem like decent levelheaded people. Yeah you'd get the occasional mad fooker but that could be said about any profession. I've met far more crazy women working in factories during my 20's. What a woman does for a living doesn't really bother me, unless she is an escort which would be a completely different thing.

B.A._Baracus

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd have no problem with it if it was my girlfriend.

I agree. I wouldn't have any issue with your girlfriend doing it too :pac:

Not surprised at the amount of hypocritical posts on here!
It's perfectly ok to watch porn, look at women and girls on onlyfans, but no way is it ok if it's your other half or daughter.

Mister Vain

1123heavy wrote: »

Because most have an aversion to their partners/daughters prostituting themselves online? Yes that must mean we lack intelligence

I actually thought he was referring to the people who are ok with it. :pac:

MrStuffins

bubblypop wrote: »

Not surprised at the amount of hypocritical posts on here!
It's perfectly ok to watch porn, look at women and girls on onlyfans, but no way is it ok if it's your other half or daughter.

Surprised by the amount of people who don't realise that not wanting your loved ones to do something you watch or consume is not hypocritical.

I'm currently reading a book about gangland hitmen. It's a fascinating story and I enjoy reading about it.

Do I want my son or daughter doing that? No. And it's not hypocritical to think so either.

guy2231

1123heavy wrote: »

Because most have an aversion to their partners/daughters prostituting themselves online? Yes that must mean we lack intelligence

Did you read any of my posts apart from that one?

MrStuffins

MrStuffins wrote: »

Surprised by the amount of people who don't realise that not wanting your loved ones to do something you watch or consume is not hypocritical.

I'm currently reading a book about gangland hitmen. It's a fascinating story and I enjoy reading about it.

Do I want my son or daughter doing that? No. And it's not hypocritical to think so either.

That's not the same.
If you were hiring hitmen to take out your business rivals, but didn't want your kids to do that job, that might be similar.

B.A._Baracus

bubblypop wrote: »

Not surprised at the amount of hypocritical posts on here!
It's perfectly ok to watch porn, look at women and girls on onlyfans, but no way is it ok if it's your other half or daughter.

Welcome to the world BubblyPop. We are all hypocrites. The only distinction is how much we are individually. Of course most won't admit to being a hypocrite in the first place

As for my two cents to the question of the thread... nah, I wouldn't date anyone on OnlyFans and only smucks pay for OnlyFans.

BorneTobyWilde

Some girls do Onlyfans to pay for college, as they can't afford it , but then some get kicked out of same college when it's discovered.
Vicious circle.

ted1

I can’t understand why people subscribe when there’s so much free content out there

guy2231

bubblypop wrote: »

Not surprised at the amount of hypocritical posts on here!
It's perfectly ok to watch porn, look at women and girls on onlyfans, but no way is it ok if it's your other half or daughter.

The logical part of your brain does not seem to work, I do not understand your thinking.

If Wendy down the road wants to get in the nip and start taking pictures of herself to sell online then grand, I don't care about Wendy, or if Wendy wants to go around club toilets sucking everyone off then grand, that's great for the lads.

The thing is when it is someone you actually care about it is completely different, you don't look at it the same way, even a normal girlfriend I wouldn't even care (because I don't care about them that much) but if it was someone I really loved like my Mother, daughter, sister or wife I would want them to have more respect for themselves than that.

The point is, a lot of girls think being a slut or whatever is cool when in reality it is similar to being a class clown, everyone will egg you on and laugh with you and you will have a lot of fun but in reality they look at you like a fool and a joke and have no respect for you at all.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd say that OnlyFans is similar to stripping, and would be very careful of anyone engaged in it. When people do this kind of work, it affects the way they think.. and that's important for anyone who is connected to them. It's much the same way with other roles which are aggressively seeking a response from others, as you'll find it affects that person's attitude towards others. (Working in Credit Control/Debt Collections seriously affected my perception of others and stayed with me for a long time after I finished with that role)

I think this is probably the most important point in the thread, whether we want to admit it or not, what we do to make money affects how we think outside of work. But that is true of most jobs, I am solicitor, most solicitors I know are, to some degree, damaged by being solicitors. We see so much of the worst of people it's hard not to be cynical about everyone. A friend of mine who works in family law says she can't go to a wedding now without thinking "yeah, we'll see if this one lasts". I quit family law for much the same reason, you are forever seeing people at their worst doing terrible things to people they once loved. Same with personal injury litigation, you start to see how dangerous our roads are, how unsafe our hospitals are etc. It's knowledge you don't just turn off when you leave the office.

What will OF do to someone's worldview and personality is hard for me to say, I wouldn't know the first thing about it but it strikes me that you would need to be incredibly self-contained to not end up very altered by it as the validation metrics are so tied up into how well you can monetise yourself. Surely everything could become transactional at that point? (Time with friends could be better spent getting ready for the next shoot etc)

pauliebdub

I would not be happy with any of the women in my life doing stuff like that and there's a few reasons for it.

- the contents of OF often gets copied and posted on other free sites that are commonly viewed, therefore it's hard to know where these pics and videos end up and circulate long after the girl decides to quit OF. It could follow her for years.
- it's a worldwide thing so you could get loads of aggressive and degrading messages from creepy guys from anywhere and I think it would have an effect on a young woman's mental health to be subjected to that kind of abuse.
-if the public interest dries up there's a possibility to move on to more extreme material in order to keep the money rolling in.

So no definitely not.

guy2231

guy2231 wrote: »

The logical part of your brain does not seem to work, I do not understand your thinking.

If Wendy down the road wants to get in the nip and start taking pictures of herself to sell online then grand, I don't care about Wendy, or if Wendy wants to go around club toilets sucking everyone off then grand, that's great for the lads.

The thing is when it is someone you actually care about it is completely different, you don't look at it the same way, even a normal girlfriend I wouldn't even care (because I don't care about them that much) but if it was someone I really loved like my Mother, daughter, sister or wife I would want them to have more respect for themselves than that.

The point is, a lot of girls think being a slut or whatever is cool when in reality it is similar to being a class clown, everyone will egg you on and laugh with you and you will have a lot of fun but in reality they look at you like a fool and a joke and have no respect for you at all.

The logical side of my brain works perfectly well, which is how I can see hypocritical behaviour.

guy2231

bubblypop wrote: »

The logical side of my brain works perfectly well, which is how I can see hypocritical behaviour.

Hahaha, is he having us on or what?

So I'm guessing you would have no problem with your daughter getting in the nip taking pictures of herself to sell online?

Judging by your previous posts you would probably encourage it.

guy2231

guy2231 wrote: »

Hahaha, is he having us on or what?

So I'm guessing you would have no problem with your daughter getting in the nip taking pictures of herself to sell online?

Judging by your previous posts you would probably encourage it.

If it's ok for someone to watch women pose or dance or whatever, then why is it not ok for the women to do it?

bubblypop

bubblypop wrote: »

Not surprised at the amount of hypocritical posts on here!
It's perfectly ok to watch porn, look at women and girls on onlyfans, but no way is it ok if it's your other half or daughter.

Lol.

I have no problem with prostitution and would welcome it's legality. I would also have no issue with using a prostitute if I felt it necessary or appealing.

I wouldn't want my mother/sister/daughter to be a prostitute.

Is that hypocritical in your bizarre mind?

bubblypop

bubblypop wrote: »

If it's ok for someone to watch women pose it dance or whatever, then why is it not ok for the women to do it?

It's absolutely ok for them to do it.

But when I watch women in porn, respected is not one of the adjectives I would use.

It's possible to enjoy porn and simultaneously not want them to be girlfriend material.

If you are comfortable with your girlfriend/daughter to flick herself off for a tenner, that's on you and more power to you. Most people would prefer that they have exclusivity when it comes to intimate interactions. Not all, but most.

Must be an awkward **** for you if you watch porn and feel emotionally attached to them too.

Probably the reason only fans exist is for people like that. Ki

cloudatlas

cloudatlas wrote: »

So they are now in successful relationships and have a family. What makes you think they aren't trustworthy?

I didn't say successful. I said that they were married and had children. I know that they have all cheated on their husbands multiple times. I know they're untrustworthy (in terms of a relationship) based on what they've told me, or what I've seen them do.

Westernyelp

SnuggyBear wrote:

He would be sickened. I honestly think I would disown my daughter for better or worse. I'd be disgusted with myself and her.

You would disown your daughter over it? Wow.
That's worse than having an OF profile for me

Ms. Newbie18

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I've heard this a lot from guys, but don't be too sure you'd feel that way after a few weeks. I had a similar opinion when I was young, with the usual attitude that it didn't matter as long as she was hot.

However, I had a girlfriend who was a stripper in Oz. I'd met her at the stripclub, got to know each other, and started dating after a while. On the surface, she was wonderful, but after a few weeks, and I got to know her better, it became very different. She was damaged, in terms of how she saw the value of relationships, and being faithful. After we broke up, she set me up with two other strippers, who I dated, with similar results. Absolutely gorgeous, with great bodies, but messed up in the head. Great material for friendships though.

These women are never off-duty, so to speak. They're always flirting with others. They're always seeking to gain the attention of strangers, and convert that into something valuable for themselves. Now, I was never bothered by their jobs, I still feel that we all sell ourselves in different ways to others, and stripping (as long as there's no sex involved), isn't something to get jealous over. All the same, it doesn't stay that way, and invariably, due to all the offers they receive, in the course of their work, the lines blur, and they engage in crap which isn't right [if you want any kind of decent relationship]. And while we were together, I was friends with their friends, their partners, and from conversations, I found that this was common.. extremely common. Some men don't care what their women get up to, who they have sex with, etc.. but they're a minority..

I'm still friends with all three women. They're all finished with stripping, and have made the move towards normalising their lives, but their mindsets haven't changed that much. Their experiences have warped their views of other people, especially men, and they're not very trustworthy when it comes to relationships, even though they've married, and had children since then. Lovely people to have as friends, but not as anything else.

I think there's a lot of willful ignorance when it comes to these situations. The ignoring of realistic appreciation for how people behave. The expectation that someone can be a devil in work, but be an angel in your relationship.. but it simply doesn't work that way. Very few people can completely separate their work from their personal lives, and this is even more so, when their work consists of manipulating other people.

A lingerie model would be an entirely different situation, and I suspect I wouldn't be bothered. Their work is very much under controlled circumstances, and there's no reliance on manipulating others to guarantee income. Their appearance is enough to gain work.. and the lines between work/personal life are very clear. Not so with strippers. Although, I think anyone doing modelling for the big scene (Victoria secret, etc) would have to rely more than on their appearance, and there's likely a lot more going on in the background. A bit like the things many actresses have to do to get roles. But for any average lingerie model, for whom it's a part-time job, or something they only plan to do for a few years, I wouldn't think there's much wrong with it. Really depends on the culture. I've dated models in China, and seen the lifestyles they had, with the need to party with those funding the scene, and I'd be very iffy about it. There's a lot of seediness that goes on in some countries.. and the expectation of what models (both genders) have to do, in order to be successful.

I'd say that OnlyFans is similar to stripping, and would be very careful of anyone engaged in it. When people do this kind of work, it affects the way they think.. and that's important for anyone who is connected to them. It's much the same way with other roles which are aggressively seeking a response from others, as you'll find it affects that person's attitude towards others. (Working in Credit Control/Debt Collections seriously affected my perception of others and stayed with me for a long time after I finished with that role)

I think you're spot on here.

bubblypop

bubblypop wrote: »

Not surprised at the amount of hypocritical posts on here!
It's perfectly ok to watch porn, look at women and girls on onlyfans, but no way is it ok if it's your other half or daughter.

The difference is that the person doing porn, or onlyfans, are essentially strangers. In reality, there's little actual connection between someone watching porn, and the people engaged in porn.

There would be an obvious difference if it was your daughter, sister, etc engaged in porn... and most people would agree that you'd be rather messed up if you watched/enjoyed your own daughters porn videos...

guy2231

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I didn't say successful. I said that they were married and had children. I know that they have all cheated on their husbands multiple times. I know they're untrustworthy (in terms of a relationship) based on what they've told me, or what I've seen them do.

It seems to me most women are like that these days (I could be wrong)they throw themselves at well off guys like businessmen, drug dealers, cool people or whatever for one night stands then when they hit their 30s they settle for nice guys who cannot afford to be fussy about their past behaviour, get married and have kids.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The difference is that the person doing porn, or onlyfans, are essentially strangers. In reality, there's little actual connection between someone watching porn, and the people engaged in porn.

There would be an obvious difference if it was your daughter, sister, etc engaged in porn... and most people would agree that you'd be rather messed up if you watched/enjoyed your own daughters porn videos...

No one was suggesting watching your daughter's porn movies!
Point is, if it's ok for some women to work in porn, why wouldn't it be ok for your female relation to do the same?

It's not about what you watch, it's the attitude to the women and what they decide to do for work.

Ms. Newbie18

guy2231 wrote: »

It seems to me most women are like that these days (I could be wrong)they throw themselves at well off guys like businessmen, drug dealers, cool people or whatever for one night stands then when they hit their 30s they settle for nice guys who cannot afford to be fussy about their past behaviour, get married and have kids.

Sounds like you need to upgrade the type of women you have in your life.

guy2231

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The difference is that the person doing porn, or onlyfans, are essentially strangers. In reality, there's little actual connection between someone watching porn, and the people engaged in porn.

There would be an obvious difference if it was your daughter, sister, etc engaged in porn... and most people would agree that you'd be rather messed up if you watched/enjoyed your own daughters porn videos...

Not bubblypop, I assume he would probably call it hypocritical to enjoy a strangers porn and not your sisters porn.

guy2231

guy2231 wrote: »

It seems to me most women are like that these days (I could be wrong)they throw themselves at well off guys like businessmen, drug dealers, cool people or whatever for one night stands then when they hit their 30s they settle for nice guys who cannot afford to be fussy about their past behaviour, get married and have kids.

You have a very different perspective on women than I have.

guy2231

Ms. Newbie18 wrote: »

Sounds like you need to upgrade the type of women you have in your life.

The thing is a lot of people don't realise this, women don't exactly go around shouting it from the rooftops, if you are in a cirlcle of highly capable men you will come to this realisation a lot quicker while the friend zoned beta males generally don't have a clue.

guy2231

guy2231 wrote: »

The thing is a lot of people don't realise this, women don't exactly go around shouting it from the rooftops, if you are in a cirlcle of highly capable men you will come to this realisation a lot quicker while the friend zoned beta males generally don't have a clue.

I've been single most of my life, actively dating, and I'm usually quite successful in doing so. A few girlfriends at different stages, but mostly single all the same (which is what I want). I'm a professional who gets paid quite well, and I'm extremely well traveled.

And I don't agree with your assessment, since you applied the belief that most women behave this way. Some women do. That's certainly true. But most? Hardly. IMO "Most" women have a few boyfriends (2-4) in their early 20s, might play around a bit while single, and then get married from late 20s/early 30s. Few have that much experience with playing around, and there's little to suggest that they're settling because they didn't manage to snatch their "alpha" male.

Culture plays a large part here. If we were talking about somewhere like Spain, I'd be more likely to agree with you... however, if we're talking about Ireland, then, no I wouldn't.