Sharing a table with a stranger

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Alun wrote: »

I wouldn't mind at all, but I'm a fairly gregarious kind of person who likes talking to strangers, if they want to talk to me that is. Have met some fascinating people over the years including an old fella on the bus the other day who, it turned out, used to fly flying boats!

In a previous life I used to travel a lot for work, and trust me, there's nothing worse than a dining room full of business people, each one sitting at their own table for two staring into middle distance looking as bored as hell. Some hotels I visited had special communal tables for that purpose, if you sat there you basically agreed to be sociable and chat with the others on the table. Seemed to work OK.

I’ve eaten alone in restaurants a lot and really enjoy it. And I’m often that middle-distance starer. Don’t assume someone is bored if they are doing that. I’m a daydreamer and find it incredibly relaxing. I love having a good think. I reckon a lot of introverted folk are the same. Many travelling businesspeople might be happy of the time to themselves.

People on this thread are saying that sharing tables with strangers isn’t the done thing in Ireland. Well, my experience is that people from restaurant patrons to wait staff are often pretty weirded out by people who happily dine alone. So many times that I’ve done it, I’ve had staff approach and ask me if I want reading material, seemingly bemused that I’m just happy with my own company or I’ve noticed other diners eyeballing me.

OldMrBrennan83

buried wrote: »

Come on pat, if you don't want people sitting next to you, for whatever reason you have because of that, the last place you want to go eat is a feicking Supermacs fast food joint. What do you think is going to happen if the place fills up and someone has to sit next to you? Call the security over and order them to throw your intruder out? They're more likely throw you out for looking like a total oddball

Why a problem in Supermacs though and not in all the other places mentioned? It's not as if people were only talking about fine dining establishments up to that point.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I wouldn't mind if the place was busy enough that it was the only seat available, but it's a pain when all you want is to unwind in your own thoughts and enjoy a coffee or some food.....and a stranger just strikes up a conversation and won't take a hint.

This exactly.

buried

Patww79 wrote: »

Why a problem in Supermacs though and not in all the other places mentioned? It's not as if people were only talking about fine dining establishments up to that point.

Because it's Supermacs man, come on. You ever been to a Supermacs?

OldMrBrennan83

John_Rambo wrote: »

Fair enough. I eat out a good bit, it's not a big deal, doesn't bother me in casual dining situations because that's the way it is, always has been from 1980's greasy spoons in the fruit markets to the cheap Asian eateries we have now. It must be terrible that it bothers you, but maybe you're not for casual dining.



Bon appetit.

You're completely missing the point I was making. I hate having to converse with strangers, some people love it, that's fine. I was only querying why nobody seemed to have an issue with someone wanting to sit alone in a bloody cafe but it's crime of the century if you want to in a Supermacs.

OldMrBrennan83

buried wrote: »

Because it's Supermacs man, come on. You ever been to a Supermacs?

Not sure if you're deliberately playing whooshed at this stage now.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

John_Rambo wrote: »

Very common in noodle bars, ethnic eateries and casual diners in Dublin.

It's fairly obvious if the table sharer does/doesn't want to chat if you've a bit of cop and maturity and can read simple body language and actions. You don't need a degree in anthropology.

I don't eat in Supermacs, but getting notions about sharing a table there is quiet funny.

Apparently not obvious to everyone. Some people are very oblivious in this regard. They’re determined to talk and it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not.

Prominent_Dawg

The Legend Of Kira wrote: »

Last winter in supermacs I was after ordering my food & sitting down at a table eating it on a saturday afternoon, I was sitting down about 5 minutes some fellow comes to my table with his teenage daughter & sits down at the other side of the table, just after he sits down he looks over at me & " says you don,t mind us sitting here ? " I said " its not much point asking me that now that you ve sat down there, " there was an awkward silence for the next few minutes-once I finished my food I left. I don,t care how busy somewhere might be or if all the tables are full just wait for a table before ordering whatever you re ordering, its ignorant to sit down at a table next to someone you don,t know uninvited - they might be waiting for a friend to come join them or they might want their own space.

I think that's so rude and obnoxious to ask after you're sitting, I had my things left on a table before and a guy pulled the chair out the looked me up and down to move my things so he could sit directly across from me, without saying a word, I just left then, what happened to having a little manners

Fann Linn

AllForIt wrote: »

Worst is on long Irish Rail journeys when ppl sit beside you in a 4 seater when there is a complely empty one just opposite. Happened to me just this weel. I do like my elbow rome on long journeys especially.

For this reason alone I always bring egg and onion sambos with me.

OldMrBrennan83

Prominent_Dawg wrote: »

I think that's so rude and obnoxious to ask after you're sitting, I had my things left on a table before and a guy pulled the chair out the looked me up and down to move my things so he could sit directly across from me, without saying a word, I just left then, what happened to having a little manners

Oh I definitely wouldn't leave in that case. Make it as uncomfortable as possible for the tosser.

Capt'n Midnight

Have we done the urban legend about the black guy eating half of your mini-packet of biscuits ?

buried

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Have we done the urban legend about the black guy eating half of your mini-packet of biscuits ?

Lets leave the race talk out of this one for christsakes, we having a nice talk about Supermacs and all that, last thing we want is the stormfront crew coming up in here and turning this into another trumptard/libtard noise thread

retro:electro

On public transport no. Esp after a long day I just want to sit alone and stare into space and not be bothered. I’ve often had headphones in with nothing playing just in case someone would take a notion to speak to me. God forbid.

Mc Donald’s or whatever I wouldn’t be bothered as much if someone sat next to me. I wouldn’t be one for striking up conversation with strangers but I’d never be rude if others did (fake headphone sitch aside)

If I’m not with someone I know I’d just rather be left alone in my own company

buried

What about bars and public houses? Would any of ye that don't like sharing a dining table out in public not like somebody sitting down next to you at a bar in a public house? Genuine question, not whooooshin anybody, just asking, what do ye do in that situation?

The Legend Of Kira

Patww79 wrote: »

Where was someone getting notions about sharing a table in Supermacs? The thing they mentioned was them asking could they sit after they had already sat.

+1 it was the fact he & his daughter sat down first then asked " you don,t mind us sitting here ? " I found ignorant, like what,s the problem in asking " are these seats taken ? " or " do you mind if we these take these seats ? " in the same way if at a bar when someone is joining their friends & if they need a chair most people will ask people at the other table about the empty chair " is it ok if take i take this chair ? " rather then just walking over to take it without asking.

OldMrBrennan83

buried wrote: »

What about bars and public houses? Would any of ye that don't like sharing a dining table out in public not like somebody sitting down next to you at a bar in a public house? Genuine question, not whooooshin anybody, just asking, what do ye do in that situation?

That's even worse because I'd be there for longer than I would be in a place eating. And the drink would only make the twat talk even more rot.

Nothing you can do as you don't own the seat, but you can ignore them and keep an eye out for a free seat to move to asap.

buried

Patww79 wrote: »

That's even worse because I'd be there for longer than I would be in a place eating. And the drink would only make the twat talk even more rot.

Nothing you can do as you don't own the seat, but you can ignore them and keep an eye out for a free seat to move to asap.

Jayziss Pat, sounds like you don't like talking or having to listen to any sort of random stranger at all or whatsoever

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

buried wrote: »

What about bars and public houses? Would any of ye that don't like sharing a dining table out in public not like somebody sitting down next to you at a bar in a public house? Genuine question, not whooooshin anybody, just asking, what do ye do in that situation?

Next to. The key phrase there. Different to sitting at the same table. You’re not facing them. And bar tables tend to be bigger, the environment noisier and it’s more acceptable to move your stool or chair a bit so people who do sit opposite you at your table seem more separate. It’s just different. If it was a quiet bar with small tables, I’d probably prefer people didn’t randomly sit down across from me, same as at a restaurant or café.

screamer

One person, one bum, one seat. Bit precious now and we all wanting our own tables in supermacs. On the flip side drives me mad when you go into any "fast food" place, packed to the rafters and there's one curmudgeon sitting at a table for 4 alone.......

OldMrBrennan83

buried wrote: »

Jayziss Pat, sounds like you don't like talking or having to listen to any sort of random stranger at all or whatsoever

Not true. If they're pre recorded then happy days.

Though I'm long enough in the tooth to know what you're at.

OldMrBrennan83

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Next to. The key phrase there. Different to sitting at the same table. You’re not facing them. And bar tables tend to be bigger, the environment noisier and it’s more acceptable to move your stool or chair a bit so people who do sit opposite you at your table seem more separate. It’s just different. If it was a quiet bar with small tables, I’d probably prefer people didn’t randomly sit down across from me, same as at a restaurant or café.

Barstools are like urinals though. No need to go beside someone if you don't have to.

buried

Patww79 wrote: »

Not true. If they're pre recorded then happy days.

How do you mean, 'pre recorded'?

buried

Patww79 wrote: »

Though I'm long enough in the tooth to know what you're at.

What do you think I'm at?

Has any smug bastard, cuddled into his blankets sa bhaile on the wet miserable night that's in it, dropped in yet to sneer at all the desperate articles who go out to pubs, queues, drunks and the like, as if it's still 1980?

OldMrBrennan83

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Has any smug bastard, cuddled into his blankets sa bhaile on the wet miserable night that's in it, dropped in yet to sneer at all the desperate articles who go out to pubs, queues, drunks and the like, as if it's still 1980?

Nope, I love the pub. Wish I was in it now, though nowhere a queue is involved.

1800_Ladladlad

If they're not sharing, the food they can feck off.

Prominent_Dawg

buried wrote: »

What about bars and public houses? Would any of ye that don't like sharing a dining table out in public not like somebody sitting down next to you at a bar in a public house? Genuine question, not whooooshin anybody, just asking, what do ye do in that situation?

I think if you're in a bar you're more likely to be there socialising, or it would be easy to tell if someone is or isn’t up for a chat, as It's a different setting to an intimate cafe where you have no choice but to endure someones presence

buried

Prominent_Dawg wrote: »

I think if you're in a bar you're more likely to be there socialising, or it would be easy to tell if someone is or isn’t up for a chat, as It's a different setting to an intimate cafe where you have no choice but to endure someones presence

See this where I see no difference, If I'm on my own, in a public spot, I go into a public spot, I know I'm going to have to meet or at least deal with some other member of the public in the exact same spot. That's what being part of a society is. If I don't want to deal with the public then I don't have to, I won't engage and stay at home and shut the blinds. But you can't be doing that the whole time, especially anytime you are out in public. The vast majority of people you will meet off the cuff, while out on your own, while they are out on their own, they are going to be decent people looking to communicate. That's what a civilised society does, that's how society was created.

ednwireland

used to be a cafe in sligo with a big long table sown the middle quite liked it.

Prominent_Dawg

buried wrote: »

See this where I see no difference, If I'm on my own, in a public spot, I go into a public spot, I know I'm going to have to meet or at least deal with some other member of the public in the exact same spot. That's what being part of a society is. If I don't want to deal with the public then I don't have to, I won't engage and stay at home and shut the blinds. But you can't be doing that the whole time, especially anytime you are out in public. The vast majority of people you will meet off the cuff, while out on your own, while they are out on their own, they are going to be decent people looking to communicate. That's what a civilised society does, that's how society was created.

I don't have any problem engaging with public, I work in customer service so do every day, probably more the reason I like my own space! I don't really see how that goes against a civilised society