Sharing a table with a stranger

Prominent_Dawg

I’ve notice this seems to be the norm in other countries, It’s not something I’ve witnessed much here, but I’m not sure, maybe it’s normal in larger cities like Dublin, whereby strangers would just sit at your table without the slightest hesitancy, I mean off course I haven’t paid for the use of the table, but I’ve sat there with the intention of the comfort of the space to myself, maybe I’m just hypersensitive, but I find It so uncomfortable and invasive and will usually just leave as I like my space, would love to know others thoughts

o1s1n

Us Irish like our space. Don't dare sit beside me on a bus when there are other seats free, you freak! :pac:

kneemos

This at home or out?

.red.

Don't p!ss in the p!sser next to me either unless it place is full.

Why not? Watching a sports event down at the local, I would have no hesitation in asking a stranger if said seat was vacant.

maxwell smart

kneemos wrote: »

This at home or out?

I'll be honest I find it more acceptable when I'm out than when I'm at home

helimachoptor

yeah irish people dont like sharing tables tbh, far more common on the continent and the US

brevity

Once they don’t want to talk to me I don’t see the problem.

messrs

Prominent_Dawg wrote: »

I’ve notice this seems to be the norm in other countries, It’s not something I’ve witnessed much here, but I’m not sure, maybe it’s normal in larger cities like Dublin, whereby strangers would just sit at your table without the slightest hesitancy, I mean off course I haven’t paid for the use of the table, but I’ve sat there with the intention of the comfort of the space to myself, maybe I’m just hypersensitive, but I find It so uncomfortable and invasive and will usually just leave as I like my space, would love to know others thoughts

I wouldn't mind if someone sat at at table I was already sitting but I wouldn't go and ask someone if I could sit at their table - that's just me been awkward though

Commanchie

I was in 37 Dawson street with the partner having a drink and 2 guys just moved in sat directly facing us on our table. I actually just gave them a nod and cracked a joke.

Why not share your table.

lawred2

Prominent_Dawg wrote: »

I’ve notice this seems to be the norm in other countries, It’s not something I’ve witnessed much here, but I’m not sure, maybe it’s normal in larger cities like Dublin, whereby strangers would just sit at your table without the slightest hesitancy, I mean off course I haven’t paid for the use of the table, but I’ve sat there with the intention of the comfort of the space to myself, maybe I’m just hypersensitive, but I find It so uncomfortable and invasive and will usually just leave as I like my space, would love to know others thoughts

this entirely depends on the context

a busy pub - sit away
on busy public transport - sit away
anywhere with benches - sit away

however I wouldn't expect someone to join me were I sitting at a small table in a restaurant

Ronaldinho

Prominent_Dawg wrote: »

I’ve notice this seems to be the norm in other countries, It’s not something I’ve witnessed much here, but I’m not sure, maybe it’s normal in larger cities like Dublin, whereby strangers would just sit at your table without the slightest hesitancy, I mean off course I haven’t paid for the use of the table, but I’ve sat there with the intention of the comfort of the space to myself, maybe I’m just hypersensitive, but I find It so uncomfortable and invasive and will usually just leave as I like my space, would love to know others thoughts

Presume we're talking about cafes or similar. Wouldn't have a problem with someone sitting at my table if place was busy and I was by myself.

So long as they have decent table manners

Mint Sauce

Busy Pub, Cafe/Fast Food Joint, is this seat/spot free. Dont see an issue.

Prominent_Dawg

lawred2 wrote: »

this entirely depends on the context

a busy pub - sit away
on busy public transport - sit away
anywhere with benches - sit away

however I wouldn't expect someone to join me were I sitting at a small table in a restaurant

I'm talking small intimate cafes

OldMrBrennan83

I don't mind so long as they don't talk to me or don't take offence if I tell them not to talk to me.

railer201

No problem, just ask the waiter/waitress for a long spoon.

buried

Happens all the time out the country here in the old timer eating houses, places where they serve boiled cabbage and shpare ribs and spuds and that sorta stuff for lunch. No problem, sit down next to anybody and stuff yer face. I go to a few places like this for lunch on work, always filled with old widowers and pensioners where they go for their grub. Good social outlet for them too, get a well cooked old fashioned meal and can chat to people at the tables. Lots of them out in the countryside here. They be goldmines

Prominent_Dawg

buried wrote: »

Happens all the time out the country here

I wouldn't up and leave if an elderly person sat next to me and showed interest in engaging with me, I’m not that cold, I think it’s more the idea of sharing personal space with a complete stranger for their comfort, at your inconvenience, than being spoken to that annoys me, like If I wanted to sit next to a stranger I would have chosen to

kerry37

Only happened to me once. Popped into Quinlans fish and chip place in Killarney. Place was packed with a Q out the door. I was sat at a 2 person table alone and the guy working asked if I'd mind sharing with another guy who was solo.

Had a good chat with him. He was on holiday from America alone. Came to Ireland from Iceland and had crashed and wrote off a rental car over there. Spent 2 days in hospital and carried on his trip.

Seemed like a sound chap and wasn't awkward at all. Wouldn't have a problem asking someone to share a table if a place is crazy busy and would be more than happy to share if someone asked me

buried

Prominent_Dawg wrote: »

I wouldn't up and leave if an elderly person sat next to me and showed interest in interact with me, am not that cold, I think its more the idea of sharing personal space with a complete stranger for their comfort, at your inconvenience, than be spoken to that annoys me, like If I wanted to sit next to a stranger I would have chosen to

Yeah I hear ya, not saying its being cold or whatever to not want to share a table with someone, a lot of the time I need my space too! But out here, in the towns and villages I go through with work, you don't really have a choice but to sit next down to someone and get some grub, I only have the half hour so its find a space somewhere and eat a proper meal or else eat a three day old sandwich from a petrol station instead! Lots of these places the tables are set for four, so you'd have three or two strangers you have to sit next to, but nobody minds, you get chatting away and it's all good!

ZX7R

Prominent_Dawg wrote: »

I wouldn't up and leave if an elderly person sat next to me and showed interest in interacting with me, am not that cold, I think its more the idea of sharing personal space with a complete stranger for their comfort, at your inconvenience, than be spoken to that annoys me, like If I wanted to sit next to a stranger I would have chosen to

There is your problem, once you walk out your front door there is no more personal space to speak of.
Things are so busy nowadays you be lucky to find somewhere to eat at a table on your own

Rubberchikken

I couldnt care less. Have often done it. Never bothers me.

Alun

I wouldn't mind at all, but I'm a fairly gregarious kind of person who likes talking to strangers, if they want to talk to me that is. Have met some fascinating people over the years including an old fella on the bus the other day who, it turned out, used to fly flying boats!

In a previous life I used to travel a lot for work, and trust me, there's nothing worse than a dining room full of business people, each one sitting at their own table for two staring into middle distance looking as bored as hell. Some hotels I visited had special communal tables for that purpose, if you sat there you basically agreed to be sociable and chat with the others on the table. Seemed to work OK.

alchemist33

This was common in Munich when we were there last December. Once we adjusted to speaking to each other a bit more quietly, it actually added to the atmosphere

ToddyDoody

I remember a Chinese in London that was just one big table which everyone sat around. I think there's a Japanese like that on O'Connell Street.

Not too long ago someone sat at our drinks table whereby mammy just froze in the position she was currently in and didn't move again until the bad lady was gone.

Ireland.

Edgware

As long as I am not expected to entertain some loser Johnny no mates

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I used to go to a cafe in Dublin with very few tables and chairs, and I would never mind if someone shared the table with me but if I was in a big place and there was lots of free seats I’d be a bit like no sit somewhere else

The Legend Of Kira

Last winter in supermacs I was after ordering my food & sitting down at a table eating it on a saturday afternoon, I was sitting down about 5 minutes some fellow comes to my table with his teenage daughter & sits down at the other side of the table, just after he sits down he looks over at me & " says you don,t mind us sitting here ? " I said " its not much point asking me that now that you ve sat down there, " there was an awkward silence for the next few minutes-once I finished my food I left. I don,t care how busy somewhere might be or if all the tables are full just wait for a table before ordering whatever you re ordering, its ignorant to sit down at a table next to someone you don,t know uninvited - they might be waiting for a friend to come join them or they might want their own space.

Wibbs

brevity wrote: »

Once they don’t want to talk to me I don’t see the problem.

Patww79 wrote: »

I don't mind so long as they don't talk to me or don't take offence if I tell them not to talk to me.

Jaysus, a bit misanthropic, no?

Alun wrote: »

I wouldn't mind at all, but I'm a fairly gregarious kind of person who likes talking to strangers, if they want to talk to me that is. Have met some fascinating people over the years including an old fella on the bus the other day who, it turned out, used to fly flying boats!

In a previous life I used to travel a lot for work, and trust me, there's nothing worse than a dining room full of business people, each one sitting at their own table for two staring into middle distance looking as bored as hell. Some hotels I visited had special communal tables for that purpose, if you sat there you basically agreed to be sociable and chat with the others on the table. Seemed to work OK.

This. I don't care if people sit down or if we get chatting. You can meet some cool people this way. Sure you get the odd weirdo, but sometimes even they're interesting enough. The only ones other than complete loons that would irritate me would be misanthropes. Life is too short to deal with self involved dour people.

Roger Hassenforder

maxwell smart wrote: »

I'll be honest I find it more acceptable when I'm out than when I'm at home

I find it very awkward when a stranger joins me at my table at home too.

uck51js9zml2yt

What's a table ??

Wibbs

The Legend Of Kira wrote: »

its ignorant to sit down at a table next to someone you don,t know uninvited - they might be waiting for a friend to come join them or they might want their own space.

Jaysus Part Deux. If you're waiting for someone you just say that. Simple. If they get shirty then tell them to eff off. If you want your own space, eat at home, or come to terms with the fact that in a busy public place you may have to share some space. :eek: Public places tend to have the public in them. Mad or wha?

trashcan

o1s1n wrote: »

Us Irish like our space. Don't dare sit beside me on a bus when there are other seats free, you freak! :pac:

Damn right!

TerrorFirmer

I wouldn't mind if the place was busy enough that it was the only seat available, but it's a pain when all you want is to unwind in your own thoughts and enjoy a coffee or some food.....and a stranger just strikes up a conversation and won't take a hint.

I've had people sit beside me on the bus when there are a lot of vacant seats and do the same.

OldMrBrennan83

Wibbs wrote: »

Jaysus, a bit misanthropic, no?

No.

Listening to some tosser stranger is something I just don't want to have to do. If they keep talking after being told not to, then headphones. Always have headphones.

buried

The Legend Of Kira wrote: »

Last winter in supermacs I was after ordering my food & sitting down at a table eating it on a saturday afternoon, I was sitting down about 5 minutes some fellow comes to my table with his teenage daughter & sits down at the other side of the table, just after he sits down he looks over at me & " says you don,t mind us sitting here ? " I said " its not much point asking me that now that you ve sat down there, " there was an awkward silence for the next few minutes-once I finished my food I left. I don,t care how busy somewhere might be or if all the tables are full just wait for a table before ordering whatever you re ordering, its ignorant to sit down at a table next to someone you don,t know uninvited - they might be waiting for a friend to come join them or they might want their own space.

lol Jesus Christ man its Supermacs not the feicking Waldorf Astoria boutique breakfast bar or some $hite

OldMrBrennan83

buried wrote: »

lol Jesus Christ man its Supermacs not the feicking Waldorf Astoria boutique breakfast bar or some $hite

What does the location matter? A nuisance is a nuisance no matter where you're eating.

buried

Patww79 wrote: »

What does the location matter? A nuisance is a nuisance no matter where you're eating.

Yeah fair enough Location doesn't matter, but somebody sitting down next to you anywhere to eat some food, the exact same thing you are there to do, doesn't matter either. Whats the problem? Where is the problem? What in the f**k does it matter like?

Fann Linn

True story.
Myself and the missus return to the Silver Birch Hotel in Tyrone after the Dubs match up there earlier this year.
A couple were having a meal and we asked could we sit down opposite, and they obliged.

We sat down, had the craic, they were from Belfast and we talked about brexit, shopping, gaa etc.

When they finished their meal, they got up, wished us a safe journey home and good luck in the next round of matches.

After a while I asked the lounge girl for another round and when she came back not only was my pint and hot whiskey on the bill but also the other couple's meals.

They had walked out, told the girl at the till on the door that we were paying for them and fcuked off. We spoke to the manager and explained everything and he was confident that he might catch them on cctv.

Beware who you sit down with.

Church on Tuesday

buried wrote: »

lol Jesus Christ man its Supermacs not the feicking Waldorf Astoria boutique breakfast bar or some $hite

Ah you'd be surprised, I mean Supermacs is a fine eatery and there IS a certain etiquette expected from the fine clientele who frequent there, it would be far too posh for the likes of me anyways.

Franz Von Peppercorn

I’m eating my breakfast Kate.

Roger Hassenforder

The Legend Of Kira wrote: »

Last winter in supermacs I was after ordering my food & sitting down at a table eating it on a saturday afternoon, I was sitting down about 5 minutes some fellow comes to my table with his teenage daughter & sits down at the other side of the table, just after he sits down he looks over at me & " says you don,t mind us sitting here ? " I said " its not much point asking me that now that you ve sat down there, " there was an awkward silence for the next few minutes-once I finished my food I left. I don,t care how busy somewhere might be or if all the tables are full just wait for a table before ordering whatever you re ordering, its ignorant to sit down at a table next to someone you don,t know uninvited - they might be waiting for a friend to come join them or they might want their own space.

Notions.
Level 10

Franz Von Peppercorn

lawred2 wrote: »

this entirely depends on the context

a busy pub - sit away
on busy public transport - sit away
anywhere with benches - sit away

however I wouldn't expect someone to join me were I sitting at a small table in a restaurant

You’re speaking sense here. One of the few.

If a place is busy and all other options exhausted then someone sitting opposite is normal. If there’s space.

However with even one full free table someone sitting across from you is odd.

buried

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Ah you'd be surprised, I mean Supermacs is a fine eatery and there IS a certain etiquette expected from the fine clientele who frequent there, it would be far too posh for the likes of me anyways.

Same here, anytime I go there I'd be doing well eat the stuff off the pavement nevermind have the wherewithal to find a actual table

Dr_serious2

Many years ago I was in the shower in the gym in Navan. There were five showers across, no cubicles separating them though. I was alone.

Anyway, a man came in and hung up his towel before going beneath the nozzle directly beside me. I thought this was a bit weird since there were several free showers further away but I didn't worry too much about it. After a few seconds he said 'hey.' I turned to him and he was lathering his nether regions with shampoo and he said 'Did you have a hard workout?'

Maybe he was just being friendly.

Roger Hassenforder

buried wrote: »

Same here, anytime I go there I'd be doing well eat the stuff off the pavement nevermind have the wherewithal to find a actual table

Its really the anthroprandrial equivalent of a trough

Franz Von Peppercorn

I’ve only ever gone into super macs in heuston. It’s fine. Burger is fine. My guess is there’s a Dublin snobbery about some fast food restaurants and not others.

screamer

I don't mind so long as they don't chew with their mouth open. Puke

MarkY91

This happened to us in Paris. First and last time to ever have happened. Fancy, well recommended french restaurant.

Got sat with a random English couple, awkward small talk, couldn't be ourselves. Very strange and ridiculous experience.

Literally the same table. It wasn't 2 tables alksot side by side..we even had to order together too.


Maybe it is normal in other countries but I think it's stupid.

John_Rambo

Very common in noodle bars, ethnic eateries and casual diners in Dublin.

It's fairly obvious if the table sharer does/doesn't want to chat if you've a bit of cop and maturity and can read simple body language and actions. You don't need a degree in anthropology.

I don't eat in Supermacs, but getting notions about sharing a table there is quiet funny.

OldMrBrennan83

Where was someone getting notions about sharing a table in Supermacs? The thing they mentioned was them asking could they sit after they had already sat.