Now Ye're Talking - to a swinger

Seth Brundle

Has your wife done anything with someone else that she previously hadn't done with you (or vice versa) and if so how did that make the other feel?

I'm a swinger, AMA

blue note wrote: »

Cheers for doing this - very interesting ama. I was seeing a girl for a while before meeting my girlfriend. Nothing romantic, we were just "doing it", to use the least romantic without being derogatory term I can think of. If I hadn't met my girlfriend I definitely think we'd have tried swinging as a friend couple - it appealed to us both a lot. But as a real couple - it's interesting to read about your perspective, because it's different to how I'd feel about it. Not worse or better obviously, just different. Put simply, I would not enjoy seeing my girlfriend have sex with someone else.

Anyway, my questions;

On the social side - what do you talk about? Kids, sports, brexit? Do the conversations tend to remain lighthearted, or are the conversions no different to the ones you'd have down in the pub?

And on the sex side, does it tend to be a lot more adventurous? Or extreme really I suppose I'm wondering. Do a lot of people coffee l come with fetishes that would generally be considered a but weird? And if someone had one of those fetishes, would they be seen as a but weird or anything. For example if someone liked being peed on.

Its definitely not for everyone and theres nothing wrong with that, if you cant handle your lady being with someone else, thats totally understandable. Lots of men on the scene arent able for it.



Social conversations are about everything. General stuff. I wouldnt talk about family unless its people we know very well. We talk a lot about whats going on in the scene and you cant help but talk about the mad stuff that we see.



We have fairly normal sex nothing mad or kinky really. Neither of us would consider ourselves mad kinky or anything.



Some of the weird fetishes would certainly be still a bit shocking. Being peed on certainly wouldnt be that weird compared to other stuff, not that i would be into that.

I'm a swinger, AMA

seachto7 wrote: »

Have you ever turned up to an event, and you recognise someone from a work environment etc? If so, what have you done in this situation?

Thankfully no, but I reckon it will happen at some stage for one of us.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

Thank you for your openness and honesty.

My question is - have you and your wife discussed what would happen should one of you decide that you've had enough of swinging and want to give it up? Would the other be happy enough to stop, and do you think your relationship would still be as good without the excitement of swinging?

I have already answered this for most part. I really dont know what effect retiring as such would have on our relationship, i would like to think we would like back with great nostalgia.


I do know this though, if I told my wife tomorrow we were done with it, I dont think she wouldnt argue with me.

I'm a swinger, AMA

The Princess Bride wrote: »

Might seem like a dumb question but I don't know so here goes.
Do you kiss the other people also, or is it just sex acts?

Kissing is really important, you learn that quickly. You think that at this stage most people know how to kiss but sadly some people just cant.


Some couples dont kiss which is a bit mad, very difficult to build up passion if you ask me.


It would be a deal breaker for us.

Breaston Plants

Do you take Viagra for the parties?

Dizzyblonde

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

I have already answered this for most part. I really dont know what effect retiring as such would have on our relationship, i would like to think we would like back with great nostalgia.


I do know this though, if I told my wife tomorrow we were done with it, I dont think she would argue with me.

And if your wife was done with it - would you be okay with that and willing to stop?

I'm a swinger, AMA

myshirt wrote: »

Have you ever accidentally crossed swords with another man, found it awkward, but then high fived each other while the opposite end of the lady, forming what would look like an Eiffel Tower type shape?

eh no but having a laugh is really important, make it too serious and its crap.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Hitman3000 wrote: »

Thanks for doing this OP. When do you think you'll be to old to still be in the Lifestyle and if your wife wants to stop will you, or if you want to stop will you expect her to aswell?

I have already answered this. Thanks

JeffKenna

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

Kissing is really important, you learn that quickly. You think that at this stage most people know how to kiss but sadly some people just cant.

How do you mean some people can't kiss? They don't use tongue/use too much tongue?

I'm a swinger, AMA

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

1. On the floor
2. Theft has been known to happen but rare, I presume the garda know about the clubs but cant say for definite.
3. Dont know.
4. No
5. No

Thanks for answering all the questions:)

I'm a swinger, AMA

flandabieduzie wrote: »

What is the run down of a normal night at these parties? Do you all get naked and go hunting/mingling to see what's on offer?
How do you figure out what ye are all after out of it or are there different areas or what for people's different interests?
Also do you get involved with ur wife and another woman or do you just watch? Or does it vary? (If that's too personal you don't have to answer)
Fair play to you for spilling the beans so to speak.

No, we normally just dress well, look our best have a few drinks and the crack. Most of the ladies dress down later in the night but in the social area, theres generally no nakedness as such.


Things just happen usually. Its very simplistic and just flows and before you know it you are snoggin the face of someone.


A lot of the ladies will have fun together and we will generally watch unless invited.


Sometimes, it descends into a orgy of like 10 people but that wouldnt be our thing. Its restricted to the room and generally we feel its not that sexy.

I'm a swinger, AMA

dellas1979 wrote: »

Hello! Very interesting read! Especially feeling that you bond more.

Ok-one thing am not getting. Who does who? If there was a girl, are both doing her? Or a fella, you both doing him?

Thanks, the bond is incredible, just simple stuff like waking in the middle of the night and holding hands and stuff and not realizing it. I cant explain really why its had this effect on our relationship, all i can say it works for us.


In a foursome, I could be on my back, my wife on my cock, the lady on my face and both of them touching each other and the other guy standing with his cock between them.


I am straight so wouldnt be going near him.

I'm a swinger, AMA

lukesmom wrote: »

Have you ever felt a connection with one of the other swingers that left a lasting impression or made you want to see them again?

Is your wife reading this?

I cant say i have but i know both of us have had times when we felt we had unfinished business with someone.



I am gonna get my wife to read it tomorrow and maybe answer some of the questions if there is any, shes out tonight.

I'm a swinger, AMA

helimachoptor wrote: »

is your wife on boards?

Dont think so

I'm a swinger, AMA

notsoyoungwan wrote: »

Fascinating AMA, thanks.

You’ve mentioned that you’ve been with the same women a few times- is the natural progression of swinging arrangements that people progress to making plans to meet each other away from parties/the scene and just meet up themselves? I suppose what I’m getting at is do ye keep it separate from your own home and bed, and just do it at arranged parties, or do ye bring it home? If ye do it at home, does that make it a bit more intimate/personal?

We wouldnt like to ever get that personal with someone because we both feel it can be dangerous. We are not looking for romance with people with are with.


I have both been with certain people a couple of times but what we have found is that it fizzles out for the most part and you lose interest in them



I wouldnt want anyone coming near our home, some people do but we feel thats something too far. Having sex with some lady under the pic of your kids confirmation, no thanks!

I'm a swinger, AMA

Jaysci20 wrote: »

Is there many drugs involved at these swinger orgies? What kind of drugs are they?

Already answered this, thanks

Purple Mountain

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

Cumming inside her with a condom

???

I'm a swinger, AMA

Colser wrote: »

Reading between the lines you're both very hot/attractive people...do you feel this helps in that you're both confident that the other partner won't find anyone more attractive at the parties..like a security that you can have fun but there's no chance either of you would be really in danger of really "fancying " someone else?

Do any couples turn up that no one would have interest in and don't get any action or singles hoping to get it off rather than actually being into the scene itself?

Tldr do less attractive people get overlooked or is there someone for everyone on the night?��

It definitely helps our confidence, i would think we are compatible in the looks department, we probably havent met anyone our age that we feel are more attractive. The younger couples would be an exception. I dont think either of us is fighting above our weight but some couples look completely mismatched in the looks department. Many many couples like that when the lady is so much hotter than her husband.


Theres someone for everyone most definitely.


Most single guys will be with anyone for the most part, which is a major turnoff for us. I have been told that a lot of the lesser attractive or bbw ladies are taken advantage of my some single men, which i am really not sure how i feel about that.


Shallow i know!

Purple Mountain

This has really dispelled some of the preconceptions I've had about swingers being middle aged hairy hippies.

Gloomtastic!

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

Its definitely not for everyone and theres nothing wrong with that, if you cant handle your lady being with someone else, thats totally understandable. Lots of men on the scene arent able for it.

When you say they aren’t able for it, do you see them crack there and then? Are there couples you used to know well that are no longer together because of the scene? Does one of them keep going and how are they perceived by the ‘scene’

I'm a swinger, AMA

Seth Brundle wrote: »

Has your wife done anything with someone else that she previously hadn't done with you (or vice versa) and if so how did that make the other feel?

The first good threesome we had, the guy made her squirt, i hadnt done it before and I was a little intimidated by it but he had shown me how to do it an within a few weeks i was able to do it, which was awesome.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Breaston Plants wrote: »

Do you take Viagra for the parties?

No and never had but definitely not ruling it out and it does happend.

AndrewJRenko

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

Yes on our first encounter, i hadnt ever has sex with anyone else and wanted to make sure I was good at it. I felt like I needed to put in a man of the match performance. He enjoyed it but we have come to realize he was a cuck and just enjoyed watching her, he had no interest in my wife. Not good.

Is there much cuckolding on the scene, or the related femdom, or chastity scene?

Thanks in anticipation.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

And if your wife was done with it - would you be okay with that and willing to stop?

That was a spelling mistake, i left out the nt.:eek:

pc7

You mentioned breeding in a post, what is that?

wirelessdude01

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote:

The first good threesome we had, the guy made her squirt, i hadnt done it before and I was a little intimidated by it but he had shown me how to do it an within a few weeks i was able to do it, which was awesome.

So what is the secret?

I'm a swinger, AMA

JeffKenna wrote: »

How do you mean some people can't kiss? They don't use tongue/use too much tongue?

No tongue, lifeless. Like a corpse. Seriously.

wirelessdude01

Have either of you been in the middle of something and pulled the plug on it as it just wasn't doing it for you or your wife?

Purple Mountain

Is there any 50 Shades antics?
S&M etc?