Now Ye're Talking - to a swinger

Tell me how

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

However, if it was at the stage that she was going on dates, meeting for walks or the cinema I wouldnt be into that, that can surely only end badly. We have met a few people that do that and we just find it incredibly dangerous. I dont think either of us want to have that level of intimacy with someone.

Given this answer, would you be uncomfortable if she started to form an entirely platonic relationship with someone new. A work colleague for example?

I'm a swinger, AMA

irishgirl19 wrote: »

Soooo Is the whole thing about leaving the keys in the bowl a myth?

Whats the general age group?

Is there a lot of drugs at these parties?

Is it a mix of attractive/unattractive? I imagine it in my head as a group of unattractive people (no offence) don't know why.

Yes its a myth, I wouldnt want to end up with someone I didnt find attractive.


Most we know are in there 30s or late 40s/50s.


I havent seen actual drug use but it happens, i have seen people with white stuff on their nose, its frowned upon to be honest.


Last one is a good question, theres possibly more unattractive people on its probably 60/40. BBW is a thing, its very common if thats what you are into. Not for me though.

Adamocovic

Hey OP, just had some questions, kind of based off someone who swings that I know, and a question I didn't feel comfortable asking, as I wouldn't know them too well. Also one regarding your rules at the beginning.

I know someone who works with me that had discussed with me before that he attended swinger clubs here in France with his wife. A couple of months later he brought out the news that his wife was pregnant. He was over the moon, and while it's a terrible thing to think, I found myself wondering how can he be sure he was the father, I didn't ask him of course. It wasn't a concern for him, and we talked later down the line and he said they were taking a bit of break from swinging but eventually will go back to it.

Off that story this leads to my two other questions.

The first is if your wife was to become pregnant would it be something that would be on your mind, whether or not you were the biological father? Or would you even care? I know different people different thinking, but it would definitely play with my head. Getting a paternity test is an option but asking for one would be difficult I imagine, trying not to offend your wife.

Finally, do you think there will ever come a point where you two decide to stop swinging? Or is it something that you believe you will continue to do for the rest of your relationship. What would happen if one of you wanted to stop but the other didn't? Just wondering were any of these scenarios covered in your initial rules.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Adamocovic, You certainly know what you are talking about, brilliant question, I will get to it and rest tonight. Thanks

I'm a swinger, AMA

Deleted User wrote: »

And just a few more that i've thought of since :P

1. Where does everyone leave their clothes throughout the party?

2. Any thefts reported i.e. mobile phones, wallets etc? Do you phone the Guards and say, "hey, I was at this swinger's party, naked, and someone stole my wallet from the hall"?

3. You say there are 3 clubs in Ireland that you know of. What are the membership benefits? Are they subject to GDPR data protection?

4. Is the AGM of those clubs held naked or clothed?

5. What's the annual membership fee? Is it tax deductible?

1. On the floor
2. Theft has been known to happen but rare, I presume the garda know about the clubs but cant say for definite.
3. Dont know.
4. No
5. No

.......

This post has been deleted.

lovelyhurler

Don't know if this is a stupid question or not, but here it goes....

My wife and I would consider ourselves fairly open minded.
Whilst she has never expressed a desire to swing, I would be more curious.
The only thing is I don't know if I would have the b**ls to go through with it.

Have you ever suffered from 'stagefright'?
Do you feel under pressure 'performing', in front of others or would you go into a private room?

Finally, what is the correct term to use - swinging, or 'being in the lifestyle'?

TIA

qwerty ui op

In general, will a woman's needs change when at a swinger meet-up, for example if a woman thought a guy was dim or uninteresting she might not want to go out with him but that wouldn't matter so much here, so long as he was fit, muscular and looked like he could do a good kango hammer impersonation.

Mountainsandh

Is it more the contrast with your own sex life back at home, or is it more the actual acts that make it exciting? or just the thought afterwards that you've done it ?
I guess I'm just looking at it from the point of view of someone that would probably find it really cringey and who'd only be thinking of going home.

Sabre0001

Can you tell us about some awkward experiences?

How much talk is there beforehand about what the various people involved would like?

Do newbies find it hard to keep everyone involved and engaged?

Do yourself and your wife chat about the experience afterwards and have ye picked up tips and tricks along the way?

SSr0

Have you ever met a couple and the male half broke out in uncontrollable laughter, thus ruining the night?

I'm a swinger, AMA

seamus wrote: »

My understanding from reading similar things online is that lots of single guys think this is a really easy way to get some meaningless sex with random women; that swingers are horny and desperate.

Then they meet up with an established couple and they find that their pre-existing confidence and intimacy, as well as the prospect of being naked with another man in the room, makes it difficult to raise the mainsail.

It probably sounds hot in their heads, but if you're not naturally outgoing and confident then I'd say the nerves of meeting a random couple for sex would destroy you.

Yep, thats not far off it.

I'm a swinger, AMA

qwerty ui op wrote: »

If you meet and get to know an attractive couple in everyday life, I'd imagine you would have some idea as to how well they'd be suited to this lifestyle.
Supposing you's were all getting on really well is there a possibility something could happen?

or has anything happened outside the scene with another guy? I mean with you also being there

This is actually something that would possibly appeal to us, meeting someone and introducing them to it, not sure if we really would like to, the idea sounds probably better than actually doing it.


I am not sure we would like to do something with someone from every day life, I think that might ruin things.


Nothing has ever happened outside with another guy, I think we would both like it to but have never really tried it, to go out and pick up a random bloke for a 3sum.

I'm a swinger, AMA

chuck eastwood wrote: »

Excellent AMA. The scene has become far more open in the last five years with the publicity given by a British company running some events over here. It seems that far more are now open to it than ever before. Considering Ireland is a smaller community in every sense of the word do you think it will ever get to a point where every county or larger city will have a dedicated venue like the UK
Also do you think the paid events are more inclined to offer a safer environment to those who are new to the scene

I wouldnt think that would ever happen, small town Ireland would win again..


The paid events are safer but you still have to be careful. Well a girl needs to be, some guys can be very hands on and its a difficult situation to have deal with.

VW 1

For you and your wife, is the attraction as strong to her in terms of seeing you with another woman, or is it just you who enjoys seeing her with another man? You mention that a few times, as well as another male for a threesome or single guys at the parties, but never mention single females being there or females as part of a threesome with you.

Purple Mountain

Does anyone outside of you and your wife know about you doing this?

Westernyelp

What is off limits sex and intimacy wise when your wife is with someone other dude?

blue note

Cheers for doing this - very interesting ama. I was seeing a girl for a while before meeting my girlfriend. Nothing romantic, we were just "doing it", to use the least romantic without being derogatory term I can think of. If I hadn't met my girlfriend I definitely think we'd have tried swinging as a friend couple - it appealed to us both a lot. But as a real couple - it's interesting to read about your perspective, because it's different to how I'd feel about it. Not worse or better obviously, just different. Put simply, I would not enjoy seeing my girlfriend have sex with someone else.

Anyway, my questions;

On the social side - what do you talk about? Kids, sports, brexit? Do the conversations tend to remain lighthearted, or are the conversions no different to the ones you'd have down in the pub?

And on the sex side, does it tend to be a lot more adventurous? Or extreme really I suppose I'm wondering. Do a lot of people coffee l come with fetishes that would generally be considered a but weird? And if someone had one of those fetishes, would they be seen as a but weird or anything. For example if someone liked being peed on.

seachto7

Have you ever turned up to an event, and you recognise someone from a work environment etc? If so, what have you done in this situation?

I'm a swinger, AMA

Narcissus wrote: »

Thanks for doing this, very interesting.

What about protection? how do the men usually ... ahem.. finish?

Safe sex is very much a priority for most people. Always use condoms obviously.


Everyone is different, I dont like to cum inside anyone i am i with. I have cum from a bj or usually just take it out and cum in the condom. Some people cum on the ladies after taking off the protection or whatever.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Can you describe your first swinging party? How did the act of sex with others first come about?

The first thing we went to was a club night. It was really good and had over 100 people at it. The problem we had was we had chatted to a few people prior to it and one couple in particular. We had both had too much to drink and boundaries were broken. We ended up with one of the couples and it wasnt a good experience as neither of us were attracted to them. It was a huge learning experience. The basically just asked could they come back to our hotel room, it wasnt good. Sex was awful.

Trasna1

Just when you think AMA couldn't go over than the last disaster that was I've had an affair thread. Keep plumbing those depths boards.ie in the hunt for something salacious.

I remember when AMA was an discussion with an interesting or unusual job, but now? Swingers? ffs.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Muppet Man wrote: »

Thanks for the great AMA. Two from me...

1. Do you ‘empty the tank’ the day before an event to help improve performance?
2. Do people take meds to help ‘raise the mainsail’ as you so eloquently put it

Thx
Muppet man

1. I dont at the moment, if I was younger I suppose I would have to but currently no.


2. Yes, i think its fairly common, I havent yet but i guess its probably inevitable eventually. Hopefully not but at least the option is there if needed.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Buddly Box wrote: »

Do you get to see much lesbian action at these things?

Yes, there's a huge amount of girl on girl and yes its as hot as you can imagine. You never get bored of it. My wife is 100% bisexual. Its been great for her to realize this.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Are there showering facilities at these clubs?

Yes and well maintained. Most places are pretty clean.

Dizzyblonde

Thank you for your openness and honesty.

My question is - have you and your wife discussed what would happen should one of you decide that you've had enough of swinging and want to give it up? Would the other be happy enough to stop, and do you think your relationship would still be as good without the excitement of swinging?

The Princess Bride

Might seem like a dumb question but I don't know so here goes.
Do you kiss the other people also, or is it just sex acts?

helimachoptor

Trasna1 wrote: »

Just when you think AMA couldn't go over than the last disaster that was I've had an affair thread. Keep plumbing those depths boards.ie in the hunt for something salacious.

I remember when AMA was an discussion with an interesting or unusual job, but now? Swingers? ffs.

Hit the road. No one is forcing you to read or post in here.

Hitman3000

Trasna1 wrote:

I remember when AMA was an discussion with an interesting or unusual job, but now? Swingers? ffs.

The OP is being frank and honest. There is no requirement for you or anyone else to click on the thread. The title should have been enough to let you know the content.

myshirt

Have you ever accidentally crossed swords with another man, found it awkward, but then high fived each other while the opposite end of the lady, forming what would look like an Eiffel Tower type shape?