Now Ye're Talking - to a swinger

Hitman3000

Thanks for doing this OP. When do you think you'll be to old to still be in the Lifestyle and if your wife wants to stop will you, or if you want to stop will you expect her to aswell?

I'm a swinger, AMA

cocaliquid wrote: »

Are you not putting peoples lives at risk. ?

That's a fairly naive and innocent question to ask, we dont live in the 1980s anymore.


I have had a bit of time to think about the STI question. I will try and remember everything. Try and explain my thinking.


First of all, my wife hasnt had sex with anyone else but me since last year, I have had sex with the same girl I think twice in the last 6 months. I was with two ladies last year, once each I think. My wife was with 3 guys maybe 5 times in total. Personally speaking that doesnt seem much does it?


Does it make us anymore likely to catch something like this typical person..



I am sure if you asked the average single 20 something in the local nightclub, how people they were with last year, it would be well into double figures. Do the same 20 something get tested? I would seriously doubt it. A lot of them would also have unprotected sex regularly as well. I know this from some younger friends and nephews.



Now, if we were out every weekend partaking in gangbangs, random unprotected sex then obviously it would be a different story in saying that, yes i think we both should get tested soon.


It comes down to odds... might seem like a cop out but that's my thinking on it.

I'm a swinger, AMA

qwerty ui op wrote: »

Do you ever do the destroying with some woman in front of her partner?

Yes on our first encounter, i hadnt ever has sex with anyone else and wanted to make sure I was good at it. I felt like I needed to put in a man of the match performance. He enjoyed it but we have come to realize he was a cuck and just enjoyed watching her, he had no interest in my wife. Not good.

Blaas4life

Trasna1 wrote: »

Just when you think AMA couldn't go over than the last disaster that was I've had an affair thread. Keep plumbing those depths boards.ie in the hunt for something salacious.

I remember when AMA was an discussion with an interesting or unusual job, but now? Swingers? ffs.

I taught last tread was very interesting and at no point a diaster

I find this fascinating to read as (afaik) I know noone who would be involved in this scene and apreciate this thread and the honesty of answers

I'm a swinger, AMA

Sour Lemonz wrote: »

Interesting topic here, just couple questions for me

1. Have you ever become aware of someone getting pregnant from another person that was single or part of a couple at a swinging event/meetup ?
2. Would you say that swinging is more liberating in terms of self confidence or that you would need self confidence to be involved?
3. If this next bit is a bit personal i understand if you dont wish to answer, but in terms of swinging while you have said you are not bi and have not directly engaged with sexual activity with another guy, what about engaging in sex with woman using dildo/strapon on you? Would this be a common thing in a 3 some scenario to mff to try such things?
4. As a swinger would you and your wife also be naturists or exhebitionists?

Some fascinating stuff coming up here, pardon the pun

1. No, thankfully i havent heard of that.
2. Definitely more liberating for self confidence. My wife loves the attention she gets, its shallow but I have seen it make her happy, the fact that shes nearly always the hottest lady help as well. It hasnt made much difference to my, I have always been happy with my appearance.

3. Pegging! Its not for me but more common than you think especially with straight men but I definitely would not be into that. Great question though. A lot of women i think like it as well. Like to be giving it to the men.
4. No , naturism doesnt interest us.

I'm a swinger, AMA

CIARAN_BOYLE wrote: »

I would have assumed showing up with a clean test result would be considered routine at these sort of events.

You would be wrong, i presume for breeding or bareback gangbangs probably is a requirement but thats rare and that is something that would horrify most members of the scene.



The reason I wanted to do this was that they had a swinger on the radio one night and he was talking about how his wife had been ****ed by 17 lads in a sex cinema. Some other lad rings in and goes, "17! my girl had 30 out in Poolbeg!" This pissed a lot of people off because it made the scene appear like it was a common thing. It couldn't be further from the truth but unfortunately like everything in life you get all sorts.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Tell me how wrote: »

How long were you and your wife together before ye explored this?


Have either of you suggested a friend who you both know as someone you'd like to participate with? Would ye ever propose such a thing to someone without knowing they were in the scene?

Nearly 25 years before we decided, childhood sweethearts.


No, definitely not, we have never even discussed our friends, it would be completely wrong and bizarre.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Omackeral wrote: »

So to speak.

Anyone saying to you “oh you and your missus should call it a day” or “you aren’t enough for each other” obviously know your relationship more than you and your wife. Nothing worse than a know all that actually knows nothing about a topic.

Truthfully, I’m sure there’s a kink and a dynamic to it that makes you both tick, maybe in different ways. I can imagine you’re getting the most out of having hot people at their best to have fun with while not having to worry about arguing about stupid sh*t like putting out the bins, as pointed out earlier! Then you stilll get to have each other everyday too. It’s like having your cake and eating it too... or sticking your man meat in it anyway

Fair play

Thank you so much!


All I can say is that its done absolute wonders for us as a couple, it has made us so close. We were always close but this has brought us to another level.



Thats what we take out of it. I am sure theres plenty of people out there who want to try it but are afraid, my advice would be... dont do it to save your relationship, to it to enhance it and bring it to an even higher level.


As for someone saying its gonna end in tears.. thankfully we have met lots of couples since we started a couple of years ago who have been on the scene over 15 years, so that does give us some reassurance.

dartboardio

I suppose we can just agree to disagree so lads. I see there are a minority that agree with me surprisingly, I just couldn’t take anyone who ‘swings’ seriously :L

flandabieduzie

What is the run down of a normal night at these parties? Do you all get naked and go hunting/mingling to see what's on offer?
How do you figure out what ye are all after out of it or are there different areas or what for people's different interests?
Also do you get involved with ur wife and another woman or do you just watch? Or does it vary? (If that's too personal you don't have to answer)
Fair play to you for spilling the beans so to speak.

Galwayguy35

Trasna1 wrote: »

Just when you think AMA couldn't go over than the last disaster that was I've had an affair thread. Keep plumbing those depths boards.ie in the hunt for something salacious.

I remember when AMA was an discussion with an interesting or unusual job, but now? Swingers? ffs.

Well why don't you volunteer to do an AMA yourself then?

I never understand the likes of you coming on to give out about something other posters are obviously interested in hearing about, not to mention the fact that someone is giving up their free time to answer each question asked in the thread.

Danny Donut

Trasna1 wrote: »

Just when you think AMA couldn't go over than the last disaster that was I've had an affair thread. Keep plumbing those depths boards.ie in the hunt for something salacious.

I remember when AMA was an discussion with an interesting or unusual job, but now? Swingers? ffs.

Its not compulsory reading - don't like don't read, which IMO is the beauty of Boards.


Don't like don't read - not the gospel ffs

dartboardio

dartboardio wrote: »

I suppose we can just agree to disagree so lads. I see there are a minority that agree with me surprisingly, I just couldn’t take anyone who ‘swings’ seriously :L

This smiley will always remind me of the monster in amnesia

dellas1979

Hello! Very interesting read! Especially feeling that you bond more.

Ok-one thing am not getting. Who does who? If there was a girl, are both doing her? Or a fella, you both doing him?

lukesmom

Have you ever felt a connection with one of the other swingers that left a lasting impression or made you want to see them again?

Is your wife reading this?

helimachoptor

lukesmom wrote: »

Have you ever felt a connection with one of the other swingers that left a lasting impression or made you want to see them again?

Is your wife reading this?

is your wife on boards?

notsoyoungwan

Fascinating AMA, thanks.

You’ve mentioned that you’ve been with the same women a few times- is the natural progression of swinging arrangements that people progress to making plans to meet each other away from parties/the scene and just meet up themselves? I suppose what I’m getting at is do ye keep it separate from your own home and bed, and just do it at arranged parties, or do ye bring it home? If ye do it at home, does that make it a bit more intimate/personal?

I'm a swinger, AMA

Connacht15 wrote: »

Very interesting thread!

You and your partner are obviously people with very high and compatible sex drives! Well Done!

Have you ever swung abroad and what was it like and if not, would you consider it?

My understanding of the 'English' Party featured in The Sunday World is that they operate a very high level of 'face' control and in their case only very attractive people will make the bar.

There was a Paul Connolly Documentary on TV3, often repeated, where he 'investigates' the sexual revolution in Ireland and he says that there are elite swingers clubs in the sense of there being gatherings not of stunning beautiful people riding but rather 'the great and the good' of our society riding each other consensually and whereas in the old days business got done at the golf club, the venue and the sport may now have changed.
TBH it struck me as nonsense and if you look at the state of most of' 'the great and the good' of our society, both male and female, nobody would go a near them sexually! What do you reckon on Connolly's claim?

I think our sex drives would be pretty normal but i dont know what normal is.


We havent done anything abroad yet but we will at some stage i think.


You are right about the event that was featured in the Sunday World, theres a vetting process you must go through. You must be good looking and under a certain age. A lot of people have a resentment towards it because of this.


No idea about the documentary but sounds like nonsense to me.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Tell me how wrote: »

Given this answer, would you be uncomfortable if she started to form an entirely platonic relationship with someone new. A work colleague for example?

Interesting question. Yes, I would be, as it would be completely unlike her, neither would consider us having close friends with the opposite sex as such.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Adamocovic wrote: »

Hey OP, just had some questions, kind of based off someone who swings that I know, and a question I didn't feel comfortable asking, as I wouldn't know them too well. Also one regarding your rules at the beginning.

I know someone who works with me that had discussed with me before that he attended swinger clubs here in France with his wife. A couple of months later he brought out the news that his wife was pregnant. He was over the moon, and while it's a terrible thing to think, I found myself wondering how can he be sure he was the father, I didn't ask him of course. It wasn't a concern for him, and we talked later down the line and he said they were taking a bit of break from swinging but eventually will go back to it.

Off that story this leads to my two other questions.

The first is if your wife was to become pregnant would it be something that would be on your mind, whether or not you were the biological father? Or would you even care? I know different people different thinking, but it would definitely play with my head. Getting a paternity test is an option but asking for one would be difficult I imagine, trying not to offend your wife.

Finally, do you think there will ever come a point where you two decide to stop swinging? Or is it something that you believe you will continue to do for the rest of your relationship. What would happen if one of you wanted to stop but the other didn't? Just wondering were any of these scenarios covered in your initial rules.

First of all, we wont be having any more children thats for sure. It would definitely play with both our minds, if we did, especially if she had been with someone who was not Caucasian. We have known people who have become pregnant while being a swinger and to me its way too dangerous. I am sure they could possibly match up the dates as long as you were not playing much as such.


I really don't know the answer to the second question. I think we may stop all together but continue the social side, thats what we really like most of the time. I wouldnt consider it a rule but we have talked times about it and if one wants to stop we stop and thats the end of it, it hasnt come to that yet though.

I'm a swinger, AMA

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Swinging is many things. Its about meeting new people who are like minded. its about socializing, its about educating yourself about sex. Its about discovering your kinks and what you are into. Its adventurous and exhilarating. Its about being free but also about having a secret you cant tell anyone. If you want to have sex with as many people as you want its possible, if you dont want to have sex with anyone you can do that too. But most of all, it makes you feel alive and young, just like when you were a teenager and you had you had your first snog, except this time you can get to experience that with the love of your life and especially the incredible trust that goes along with it.

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Sorry, if i didnt explain it properly. I dont like to watch, I like to partake. We mainly have had threesomes but its not always full blown sex, it can be like 5 people all together just touching each other, some foreplay no penetration. Thats really hot and is known as soft swing.

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Nope!

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Yes we are all having intimate activity. The woman can be single or married it depends.

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This is a very good point and i can see where you are coming from, the reclaim or after sex is the best. Or just being together with my lady and both of us being wild is amazing. Kinda like the badboy who smokes and drives a harley, you cant really explain why women like men like that but they just like the wild side.

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No, we are together since our teens.

I'm a swinger, AMA

lovelyhurler wrote: »

Don't know if this is a stupid question or not, but here it goes....

My wife and I would consider ourselves fairly open minded.
Whilst she has never expressed a desire to swing, I would be more curious.
The only thing is I don't know if I would have the b**ls to go through with it.

Have you ever suffered from 'stagefright'?
Do you feel under pressure 'performing', in front of others or would you go into a private room?

Finally, what is the correct term to use - swinging, or 'being in the lifestyle'?

TIA

Ahh freshmeat!


A really good question. I get were you are coming from and thats why the meet & greets are the best thing to start with, we wish we had done that. No pressure, get to meet lots of people and just have a great night. For anyone curious I cant recommend one enough.


Another good one. Yes, i dont like to perform in front of people but its happened. And yes, i have had a couple of incidents with stage fright and its horrible, really is. Usually if i have a couple of drinks its better, I find it relaxes me, some people have the opposite effect.

I'm a swinger, AMA

qwerty ui op wrote: »

In general, will a woman's needs change when at a swinger meet-up, for example if a woman thought a guy was dim or uninteresting she might not want to go out with him but that wouldn't matter so much here, so long as he was fit, muscular and looked like he could do a good kango hammer impersonation.

My wife would have no interest in anyone who hasnt got a personality no matter how fit they are. Shes not a size queen, some ladies are but she does like to get fooked hard, if you get me.



Some men and women will be with anyone and all sorts, we find that a real turnoff.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Mountainsandh wrote: »

Is it more the contrast with your own sex life back at home, or is it more the actual acts that make it exciting? or just the thought afterwards that you've done it ?
I guess I'm just looking at it from the point of view of someone that would probably find it really cringey and who'd only be thinking of going home.

Its kinda all three. The after sex is brilliant but i just love seeing her being naughty and unrestricted.


Its not for the cringy but we have met plenty of people who are shy. The best thing to do the first time is to just watch.

Jaysci20

Is there many drugs involved at these swinger orgies? What kind of drugs are they?

Colser

Reading between the lines you're both very hot/attractive people...do you feel this helps in that you're both confident that the other partner won't find anyone more attractive at the parties..like a security that you can have fun but there's no chance either of you would be really in danger of really "fancying " someone else?

Do any couples turn up that no one would have interest in and don't get any action or singles hoping to get it off rather than actually being into the scene itself?

Tldr do less attractive people get overlooked or is there someone for everyone on the night?😀

I'm a swinger, AMA

Sabre0001 wrote: »

Can you tell us about some awkward experiences?

Some people are masters with the use of Photoshop. We initially chatted to some people and when you meet them, they are not anything like their pics. Anytime that happened, we just made some excuse and blanked them or bailed, its not nice but they should be more honest. If you saw the pics you would understand, some people do this to new people and pressure them into doing something.


It gets awkward when two ladies are having fun and you realize the male half is not attractive and your wife wouldnt be interested in him, right as his lady is going down on you. Not a good situation to find yourself in.

How much talk is there beforehand about what the various people involved would like?

Not much really, donts get explained during the fun usually.

Do newbies find it hard to keep everyone involved and engaged?

No a long as the can chat, they are fine but they need to be wary, some people will target them because they are new.

Do yourself and your wife chat about the experience afterwards and have ye picked up tips and tricks along the way?

We chat all the time, nothing better than going for an afternoon drink and talking about the previous nights events.


I learnt how to make a woman squirt. I never thought it was possible but as it turns out, its easy once you learn how to do it. Lots still dont know how to do it though.

I'm a swinger, AMA

VW 1 wrote: »

For you and your wife, is the attraction as strong to her in terms of seeing you with another woman, or is it just you who enjoys seeing her with another man? You mention that a few times, as well as another male for a threesome or single guys at the parties, but never mention single females being there or females as part of a threesome with you.

its kinda a contradiction really. I said its was harder to find a decent single guy but thats were we are at the moment. Previously it wasnt so hard as such.



At the start we had a couple of MMF threesomes for the same reasons. 1. My wife wasnt ready to see me with someone else. 2. A MMF was the initial fantasy that we both wanted. 3. I hadnt met any girl I wanted to have a MFF with.


I have since had one with my wife and another lady. She does like seeing me with other women though, it really turns her on but has to be a certain type of lady.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Does anyone outside of you and your wife know about you doing this?

No, but some friends have suspicions. It was actually a friend who indirectly caused us to start it as he said to me he liked the idea of seeing his wife being with some else.


It made me feel like there was nothing wrong with me and I wasnt the only like this.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Westernyelp wrote: »

What is off limits sex and intimacy wise when your wife is with someone other dude?

Anal
Swallowing
Cumming inside her with a condom
Cuddling:)