Now Ye're Talking - to a swinger

seamus

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Can you elaborate on the 'not capable of doing' part? Curiousity

My understanding from reading similar things online is that lots of single guys think this is a really easy way to get some meaningless sex with random women; that swingers are horny and desperate.

Then they meet up with an established couple and they find that their pre-existing confidence and intimacy, as well as the prospect of being naked with another man in the room, makes it difficult to raise the mainsail.

It probably sounds hot in their heads, but if you're not naturally outgoing and confident then I'd say the nerves of meeting a random couple for sex would destroy you.

Conservatory

dartboardio wrote: »

That comment is totally irrelevant. We’re on a forum here, the sole purpose is not to ‘concentrate on your own lfie’

A ama is not a forum for people with low self esteem to go around calling people disgusting to make themselves feel better.

dartboardio

I called no one disgusting. Just the act itself! And i presume you’re heavy on the swinging

_Kaiser_

dartboardio wrote: »

I called no one disgusting. Just the act itself! And i presume you’re heavy on the swinging

It's probably not something I'd partake in myself but fair play to the OP for being so open about the whole thing - very interesting and some of the questions are gold :P

If you're offended at the thought/act then maybe this thread isn't for you?

dartboardio

That is why I stated no disrespect. It’s other posters that took it a bit personal is all

_Kaiser_

dartboardio wrote: »

That is why I stated no disrespect. It’s other posters that took it a bit personal is all

"no disrespect"... followed by LOTS of disrespect isn't quite how it works - you don't like it/approve.. fair enough. But not for you to cast judgement or comment on others really. Just ignore the thread.

Conservatory

dartboardio wrote: »

That is why I stated no disrespect. It’s other posters that took it a bit personal is all

Oh I didn’t realize you said no disprespect before you told the poster his hobby that him and his wife partake in with consenting adults was disgusting.

I totally took you up wrong. Anyway back to the questions.

Muppet Man

Thanks for the great AMA. Two from me...

1. Do you ‘empty the tank’ the day before an event to help improve performance?
2. Do people take meds to help ‘raise the mainsail’ as you so eloquently put it

Thx
Muppet man

khaldrogo

Conservatory wrote:

A ama is not a forum for people with low self esteem to go around calling people disgusting to make themselves feel better.

Suggesting that a man who doesn't want his wife having sex with another man has low self esteem is ridiculous. I would suggest that man has high self respect.
If your partner is not enough for you or vise versa you should call it a day IMO. These sort of things largely end in tears in the long way.....

Purple Mountain

Are there showering facilities at these clubs?

cocaliquid

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

No. We havent really talked about it, we havent been with that many people between us. Probably a little naive on our part but I would think in the near future we should both have tests done.

Are you not putting peoples lives at risk. ?

qwerty ui op

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

Thankfully I dont but been honest, thats the hot thing seeing your wife getting destroyed in front of you is a good thing.


I don't have Penis envy either far more important things to concern you with the lifestyle.

Do you ever do the destroying with some woman in front of her partner?

facehugger99

What are the likely economic repercussions for Ireland in the event of a hard Brexit?

I'm a swinger, AMA

dartboardio wrote: »

Now don’t get me wrong I used to find it interesting and probably would’ve considered it but I was way different back then and now do find it disgusting. My partner does too. Then again I’d be quite reserved In that respect. I find it oddly revolting or naff when people refer or discuss these things around lots of people

To call it disgusting it a tad over the top. We are not breaking any laws. We now live in a country that has embraced same sex marriage, divorce, abortion etc. not too long ago they would have all been regarded as sick and evil.



I am sure if you look through your friends/family, you will know some that cheat on their partners, take illegal drugs, drink and drive or possibly even physically abuse their partners. I certainly do!


Surely that's more disgusting than mature adults having sex with the consent of the partners if they feel the need.

I'm a swinger, AMA

I will get to the rest of the questions this evening, some really interesting ones. Please keep them coming. Thanks

pc7

Finding this fascinating OP, thanks for doing it.

Boards.ie: Niamh

If anyone wants to discuss the pros and cons or their personal opinions of the swinging lifestyle without asking any questions of the OP, we have a Sex & Sexuality forum for that.

Any more off-topic posts will be removed. Thanks.

ETA: access requests for Sex & Sexuality should be posted here

1hnr79jr65

Interesting topic here, just couple questions for me

1. Have you ever become aware of someone getting pregnant from another person that was single or part of a couple at a swinging event/meetup ?
2. Would you say that swinging is more liberating in terms of self confidence or that you would need self confidence to be involved?
3. If this next bit is a bit personal i understand if you dont wish to answer, but in terms of swinging while you have said you are not bi and have not directly engaged with sexual activity with another guy, what about engaging in sex with woman using dildo/strapon on you? Would this be a common thing in a 3 some scenario to mff to try such things?
4. As a swinger would you and your wife also be naturists or exhebitionists?

Some fascinating stuff coming up here, pardon the pun

StringerBell

Very interesting AMA and thanks for doing it. Some of the questions I would have had asked have been answered or at least asked and will probably be answered so I have nothing to add for now only my appreciation.

CIARAN_BOYLE

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

No. We havent really talked about it, we havent been with that many people between us. Probably a little naive on our part but I would think in the near future we should both have tests done.

I would have assumed showing up with a clean test result would be considered routine at these sort of events.

I'm a swinger, AMA

Deleted User wrote: »

If a, erm, ahem, you know.. friend.. was interested in this.. where do you even start?

Are you single or a couple?


There's a huge demand for attractive, good looking, reliable single lads who are completely respectful. You can have the absolute best crack and fun along the way.



Just google the sites to see.

Tell me how

How long were you and your wife together before ye explored this?


Have either of you suggested a friend who you both know as someone you'd like to participate with? Would ye ever propose such a thing to someone without knowing they were in the scene?

woejus

Gonad wrote: »

Munson , as in Roy Munson ?

Are you still at the bowling ?

This has me in tears laughing ah genuine lolz

I'm a swinger, AMA

Blaas4life wrote: »

Would there be much peer pressure (for want of a better word) to partake/would lurkers be excluded from parties etc after a while

Not for couples but you can be pressured but you learn to just fob them off. A lot of men would be keen on my wife for obvious reasons. Some of them go about it the wrong way, best thing usually is to just introduce yourself.


Single Lads do find that they are expected to partake or so I have been told otherwise they wont be invited back.

I'm a swinger, AMA

OU812 wrote: »

Have you ever met someone you know from “real life” at one of them? If so how close were you to them, what happened and are you still close?

We have met a few couples that we know a little but thankfully no too well. Nothing happened with them and we wouldnt encourage it.

I'm a swinger, AMA

secman wrote: »

What do you reckon is missing in your marriage that you do not fulfil each other's need.

LOL!



Thankfully we are both mature enough to know if there was something missing in our marriage, we started it because it was something wild and adventurous.


Our close friends cant understand how we are so close, they often wonder why, when we go out with them, we cant keep our hands off each other. We dont be snogging the face of each other or anything but we are just very touchy feely etc. One of the ladies asked one night, why are we so much in love, I was so tempted to say just have a threesome, you will understand.:D


They are shocked when my wife tells them we have s*x everyday, sometime 2-3 times a day. This is all because of the lifestyle.

Omackeral

I'm a swinger, AMA wrote: »

I will get to the rest of the questions this evening, some really interesting ones. Please keep them coming. Thanks

So to speak.

Anyone saying to you “oh you and your missus should call it a day” or “you aren’t enough for each other” obviously know your relationship more than you and your wife. Nothing worse than a know all that actually knows nothing about a topic.

Truthfully, I’m sure there’s a kink and a dynamic to it that makes you both tick, maybe in different ways. I can imagine you’re getting the most out of having hot people at their best to have fun with while not having to worry about arguing about stupid sh*t like putting out the bins, as pointed out earlier! Then you stilll get to have each other everyday too. It’s like having your cake and eating it too... or sticking your man meat in it anyway

Fair play

I'm a swinger, AMA

cosanostra wrote: »

Does it worry you that your wife might make a strong bond and end up falling in love with someone and you end up getting cast aside?

A very good question!



It is definitely something to concern yourself with, of course but as long as its kept physical it shouldnt be an issue.


I have been with one lady. 3-4 times and my wife the same with a single guy but as long as its just pure physical fun I am not too concerned.


However, if it was at the stage that she was going on dates, meeting for walks or the cinema I wouldnt be into that, that can surely only end badly. We have met a few people that do that and we just find it incredibly dangerous. I dont think either of us want to have that level of intimacy with someone.

Connacht15

Very interesting thread!

You and your partner are obviously people with very high and compatible sex drives! Well Done!

Have you ever swung abroad and what was it like and if not, would you consider it?

My understanding of the 'English' Party featured in The Sunday World is that they operate a very high level of 'face' control and in their case only very attractive people will make the bar.

There was a Paul Connolly Documentary on TV3, often repeated, where he 'investigates' the sexual revolution in Ireland and he says that there are elite swingers clubs in the sense of there being gatherings not of stunning beautiful people riding but rather 'the great and the good' of our society riding each other consensually and whereas in the old days business got done at the golf club, the venue and the sport may now have changed.
TBH it struck me as nonsense and if you look at the state of most of' 'the great and the good' of our society, both male and female, nobody would go a near them sexually! What do you reckon on Connolly's claim?

I'm a swinger, AMA

Deleted User wrote: »

Obviously you're very open here in the AMA, naturally.

Who have you told outside of your marriage about this lifestyle and who would you really not want to know about it?


In the spirit of AMA- (and just some good fun considering the topic) some quick fire Q's:

1. What are the do's don't's about swingers parties?

2. What sort of food/drink is served at such a party?

3. If the party say's 8pm arrival, is it polite to arrive at 8.20pm or should you arrive on the dot of 8?

4. If you host a swinger's party, what sort of things are expected? i.e. beds, linen, rooms done out a certain way, finger food, crisps, peanuts, nibbles (titter)

5. How can you tell someone is overstaying their welcome at a swingers party?

6. Have you met people who attended a swingers party outside of the setting unexpectedly?

7. Going back 20 years, my old boss (female) wore an ankle bracelet- I heard that that was a sign she was a swinger- is that true?

8. Is an open plan house or a series of smaller rooms the best for hosting a swingers party?

9. Is there any typical profile of a swinger? i.e. career, income level, etc

10. Do swingers tend to drink or be sober throughout a swinger party?

That's all for the moment :P

We have told no one but some of my friends suspect and are definitely intrigued, some of their wives would be absolutely horrified. They would be the ones in marraiges that are not happy unfortunatly.

1. Dont drink too much, no drugs. Do not touch anyone unless they inniate it, always ask. Dont get jealous if some random happends to chat to your partner. Try and mingle as much as possible and just dont be a d*ck.

2. In apartment party, pick and mix frozen stuff usually. I try not to eat it. Usually bring your own booze. Works out cheaper.

3. Most people usually arrive on time and those that cant will let you know beforehand. Reliability can be a huge issue.

4. Mattress Protectors, Condoms, Tooth brushes, Gum, Lots of Towels, Baby Wipes.

5. Some people can be very messy, either hammered drunk or just being aggressive, a lot dont drink though which is welcomed, you can generally tell. If we organised a party we would very specific as to who we invite.

6. Yep, a couple of times we have bumbed into people we have met, we would always stop and chat to them.

7. Yes, it can be. Its a sign for a Hotwife, my wife has one, i find it very hot. A hotwife is a woman who can have sex with someone with the permission of her husband. Kinda the opposite to Cuckold.

8. Series of small rooms with a big open area usually works well.

9. Most couples are professionals, middle earners, successful & educated.

10. We drink but we very much enjoy the crack, we like meeting new people. Some people dont drink anything as it can affect performance.