My husband is a fussy eater, I need help

demanufactured

Sounds like a model man.......

I'd say the sex must be exiting...

"I'm done love, clean up after me will ya."

Pelvis

the beer revolu wrote: »

Trick with carrots is a bolognaise is to dice them really finely along with the onion and celery.
(you could grate them also).
Carrot, onion and celery are on pretty much all the more authentic bolognaise recipes but I guess the anti carrot poster didn't know that.

Oh ffs.

Go into as many "authentic" Italian restaurants as you can find and let me know how many of them serve a side of carrots with their spaghetti bolognese.

the beer revolu

Pelvis wrote: »

Oh ffs.

Go into as many "authentic" Italian restaurants as you can find and let me know how many of them serve a side of carrots with their spaghetti bolognese.

Only person who mentioned a side of carrots is you. Read back.

Ffs

theteal

the beer revolu wrote: »

Trick with carrots in a bolognaise is to dice them really finely along with the onion and celery.
(you could grate them also).
Carrot, onion and celery are on pretty much all the more authentic bolognaise recipes but I guess the anti carrot poster didn't know that.

yup, I'd normally throw the 3 of 'em in the food processor for a quick waz up. Didn't want to wake the house this morning though so we took the more chunky manual approach - we'll call it rustic bolognese

Dial Hard

Pelvis wrote:

Go into as many "authentic" Italian restaurants as you can find and let me know how many of them serve a side of carrots with their spaghetti bolognese.

She never said she served a side of carrots with it though???

magentis

Pelvis wrote: »

Oh ffs.

Go into as many "authentic" Italian restaurants as you can find and let me know how many of them serve a side of carrots with their spaghetti bolognese.

Well now!

I think the quoted poster might be on to something.I have spent quite a few years out of the last twenty in "Italia"and have found your garden Bolognese sauce doth contain finely diced carrot and onion more often then not in a 80/20 ratio!

ankles

Send him on a cookery course. Let him learn what he likes and learn how to cook, for you as well

B0jangles

Yeah, this is an example of a bolognese with carrots and courgettes in it:



We're not talking about big aul carrot batons poking out of the sauce!

demanufactured

What does he work at?

igCorcaigh

demanufactured wrote: »

What does he work at?

And does he bring lunch?

Rechuchote

effibear wrote: »

Google a recipe for spagbol and you’ll find carrots are in most recipes as an ingredient.

Ah, now we're getting into the horrors of war! Italians get very passionate about what should and shouldn't be in their bolognese https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2010/nov/25/how-to-make-perfect-bolognese

igCorcaigh

magentis wrote: »

Well now!

I think the quoted poster might be on to something.I have spent quite a few years out of the last twenty in "Italia"and have found your garden Bolognese sauce doth contain finely diced carrot and onion more often then not in a 80/20 ratio!

It's soffritto. French have another name for it. Carrot, celery and onion cooked slowly in olive oil.

Pelvis

the beer revolu wrote: »

Only person who mentioned a side of carrots is you. Read back.

Ffs

Dial Hard wrote: »

She never said she served a side of carrots with it though???

Read again.

cmoidd

The carrots weren’t in the side dish, I cooked them for 20min with the pasta, i guess I should have then add them in the sauce and let it simmer to get a better taste

James Bond Junior

igCorcaigh wrote: »

It's soffritto. French have another name for it. Carrot, celery and onion cooked slowly in olive oil.

Mirepoix

igCorcaigh

cmoidd wrote: »

The carrots weren’t in the side dish, I cooked them for 20min with the pasta, i guess I should have then add them in the sauce and let it simmer to get a better taste

At least he likes spaghetti, that's one thing!

Did you have much luck agreeing on a menu plan that suits everyone?

Teyla Emmagan

Sofiztikated wrote:

People bang on about mental health, then slag a man has issues with food?

He is a fussy eater, not a bulimic, an over eater or an anorexic. We are not in mental health territory here.

Pelvis

cmoidd wrote: »

The carrots weren’t in the side dish, I cooked them for 20min with the pasta, i guess I should have then add them in the sauce and let it simmer to get a better taste

I don't necessarily mean a dish on the side. I just mean as an extra on the plate, separate to the contents of the sauce.

Anyway...

juneg

Firstly, maybe your husband chooses to behave in such ways when it comes to food but maybe there maybe undiagnosed autism? I have similar issues with food (a female in my 30s) and a younger male relative has similar behaviours as myself yet he has been diagnosed. Anyway I don't eat cheese or cream (or anything I think may contain it) mashed or roast potatoes, chunky chips, a lot of veg. My diet is limited and it is hard, especially when out for dinner. I have really tried to expand my taste buds since having children and have found some new things such as couscous tolerable so when my family are eating potatoes, I sometimes have this.
Here's an example of dishes I like: Chicken curry, Spaghetti Bolognese or Linguine with chicken (just made with passatta and chicken stock, herbs etc no dairy), chilli con carne, paella with chicken and mussels, Roast beef/chicken with potato croquettes. I also tried sweet potato fries and although I wouldn't eat them every week, they're an ok change. I also regularly make spicy garlic prawns (prawns made with olive oil, chilli and garlic only) with baguettes and homemade soup, with a lot of veg but needs to be made with chicken stock and blended.
I hope this helps and little. I can understand how frustrating it would be to cook for a fussy eater, I get frustrated with myself![/QUOTE]

This is an excellent point.
Your husband may have sensory issues around food. It may not be the taste but the texture and the feel of it that is the problem. This may well be completely outside your control. Look after yourself. You are doing your best.

Appledreams15

cmoidd wrote: »

cnocbui wrote: »

Tell him the truth - that you fear your marriage will not last unless he learns to broaden his culinary tastes. He doesn't have a clue or appreciate how lucky he is.

I didn't realise it was that much of big deal, the way i am with him, i know it wasn't right the way he is acting sometimes but should we not cook for our husband? For me it is normal, it's kind of my duties
But by reading all your comment maybe i should be harder on him

Any long term relationship that I was in, my boyfriend cooked for himself, and I cooked for myself.

It is definitetly not your duty!

Sometimes we cooked together when we had time, and it was fun.

But normally he made his dinners, and I made mine.

igCorcaigh

James Bond Junior wrote: »

Mirepoix

That's it! Bit of prep involved with all the chopping, but it's the base for most of my food.

Dial Hard

Rechuchote wrote:

Ah, now we're getting into the horrors of war! Italians get very passionate about what should and shouldn't be in their bolognese

But carrots aren't one of the controversial ingredients under discussion anywhere in that article, which really just proves the point several posters are making.

(In the interests of full disclosure, I didn't read all 723 comments.)

cmoidd

igCorcaigh wrote: »

At least he likes spaghetti, that's one thing!

Did you have much luck agreeing on a menu plan that suits everyone?

No he doesn’t want to look at recipe books... and i know what I usually make he won’t like it...

igCorcaigh

Appledreams15 wrote: »

But normally he made his dinners, and I made mine.

That's how I and my partner work it too.
I think op does like the idea of preparing meals for all the family, and that's a good thing too!

Sofiztikated

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

He is a fussy eater, not a bulimic, an over eater or an anorexic. We are not in mental health territory here.

Respectfully, I disagree. While he doesn't "fit" into those 3 categories, that doesn't mean that it's not a sign of something further.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/parenting/82843750/Severe-picky-eating-linked-to-psychiatric-problems-finds-study

igCorcaigh

cmoidd wrote: »

No he doesn’t want to look at recipe books... and i know what I usually make he won’t like it...

Not to that level, I mean can you agree on what meals you will all have for the week in advance?

Appledreams15

cmoidd wrote: »

theteal wrote: »

We would take turns depending on who’s working later but in your case maybe it is fair that you do most of the cooking during the working week seeing as you’re already in the house. So in saying that, does he cook much at the weekend????

He does some cooking, maybe once a month, he likes cooking roast chicken, with stuffing that's really tasty the way he does it

And he likes baking rhubarb crumble
It's a pity he doesn't cook more often, it's really nice when he does it

Uncharted wrote: »

It's roughly dinner time now I reckon.
Well OP, how did giving him a swift kick up in the bollox go?

Yep, it didn't go well...
So told him things needs to change, from now on he needs to prepare his own meal if he doesn't want to eat the same than me
He said he doesn't like food, and doesn't know anything about it, i'm the one that know all about it so i should be the one do the cooking.
I told him i don't know much about food either, all i do is simple stuff
I offer to look at some recipes book to give him some ideas, but he doesn't want

I asked him to swich places for a week, he will be the one doing all the cooking to see how it goes, he refused straight away saying he doesn't want to do it he hates cooking, so i told him i don't like it either, why should i be the one in charge, why not him? i'm not his maid but his equal partner, he should be the one helping with the cooking not the other way around because with the pregnacy i'm really tired all the time, so that's would be nice if he could help

He got upset (as planned) saying all i do is shouting at him, he is always the one to be blamed for everything, and he shut down, took his laptop and went on it, that was the end of the talk for him.. I kept on for a little while but he just blanked me...
And was not talking to me anymore.

So i just went off for a couple of hours, when i got home i could hear him saying to our son FINALLY from upstairs
He came down and still didn't talk to me

So i start cooking (frankfurt sausages wrap in ham, with a homemade tomato sauce made with a bechamel sauce and tomato puree and some cheese)
After i put it in the oven and told him what i prepared i asked him if would like to eat what i was eating, he answered me in a rough tone NO
I then said, that's fine, then make your own arrangement for your dinner, i'm having this.

Maybe 10 min later, he came in the kitchen asking what was in the recipe, after explanation, he said, there nothing else to eat so i don't have the choice i'll have to eat it!
And ate it, and liked it, he wouldn't admit it but he did, he got 2 servings
And we all ate at the table

It's a 1st in a long time yeahh

He was a bit jealous of my son having nuggets for his supper, but it was going to be too much for him to try this, i'll need to start little by little with him, he knows tomorrow he going to have try carrot and chicken with his pasta

So at the end, my husband is still upset at me for "forcing him" to eat and blaming him for everything, he is still really cold with, but we're getting there!

What a spoilt asshole.

youtube!

I'm guessing your husband is massively overweight and has health issues coming down the tracks, my advice? Up your life insurance to the max.

CarrickMcJoe

Jogathon wrote: »

If I was giving you advice on how to make a toddler eat, then I'd suggest the "take it or leave it" approach. When the child is hungry enough, then they will eat what is in front of them and there is no pandering to special diets.

I would approach this problem with your grown up toddler the same way.

Imagine a grown man blaming you because he felt sick after he choose to eat a big bag of cheesy puffs. Hilarious. However, its not at all funny as this is your husband who is acting out in this spoilt and babyish way.

My sister used to say something like that to her kids. EAT IT OR WEAR IT !

As for OP, why not ask his mammy, clearly he prefers her cooking. Maybe he's getting fed there and you don't know it..

Dial Hard

CarrickMcJoe wrote:

As for OP, why not ask his mammy, clearly he prefers her cooking. Maybe he's getting fed there and you don't know it..

She's dead.