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Sex party, have you ever been?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 19,130 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    What are you on about pal??? :confused:

    You half way through a slab of Stella already?

    It’s Friday pal,slab of Grolsch in Tesco at a euron a can.

    Cannot beat that, put a cock like a tuna can on a lad going out later on.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,194 ✭✭✭TomSweeney


    It’s Friday pal,slab of Grolsch in Tesco at a euron a can.

    Cannot beat that, put a cock like a tuna can on a lad going out later on.
    A cock like a tuna can ?
    What small and chunky?


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,130 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    TomSweeney wrote: »
    A cock like a tuna can ?
    What small and chunky?

    You’re thinking of John West, Tomás, nah, big 456g blockbuster.

    Just a look would put a ‘glaze’ on the mutton drapes.

    You know yourself……………


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,998 ✭✭✭Slideways


    You’re thinking of John West, Tomás, nah, big 456g blockbuster.

    Just a look would put a ‘glaze’ on the mutton drapes.

    You know yourself……………

    Leaking like a George Foreman grill at the sight of it and a fent off her that would have brown bears waking from their slumber early


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,130 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Slideways wrote: »
    Leaking like a George Foreman grill at the sight of it and a fent off her that would have brown bears waking from their slumber early

    Correct, fent would set off a fire alarm and leaking like a gravel lorry at a red light.
    Correct.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Correct, fent would set off a fire alarm and leaking like a gravel lorry at a red light.
    Correct.

    Dripping like an auld cement mixer?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,998 ✭✭✭Slideways


    Like a 35yr old Kelvinator, leaking on the kitchen floor


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 502 ✭✭✭Pero_Bueno


    Come on Paddy .... tell us about your latest antics!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,296 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    No


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 692 ✭✭✭fuerte1976


    Ball is burst here I'd say.. Move along, nothing to see 😀


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,434 ✭✭✭showpony1


    I would say the Pintman & Johnny are just holding off for the six nations next week


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,400 ✭✭✭lukesmom


    Missing this thread.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,977 ✭✭✭PandaPoo


    Before we got married we did some swinging and sex parties. They parties were really enjoyable. You have to be invited, it's usually on in someone's house, really laid back and casual, no pressure to do anything at all.

    We did it all on a swinging website. The party had a few couples, a few singles girls and 1 single man. It's a normal party until around 11, by then everyone has chatted and feels more comfortable. Then the host flicks the lights and the women go upstairs and put something sexy on and come back down.
    My first party I was shocked, a polish girl had a body stocking on. She had fake boobs and an incredible figure. Another girl wore a robe, she was a larger lady.

    There was an orgy with around 8 people in one room, 2 guys drinking beer and chatting, butt naked, a guy getting a blow job on the couch....lots going on. You can leave feedback on people's profiles, usually always very good. There's a chat room on the site too so you can chat and get to know people. You can also view cams if people wish to share them, or go on yourself. It tells you who is watching you.

    We stopped when we got engaged. We wouldn't ever go back to it. I actually shut down our account the other day, I used to go on every now and then just to look at our pictures and remember how attractive I was 4 years ago :o


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    showpony1 wrote: »
    I would say the Pintman & Johnny are just holding off for the six nations next week

    You got it in one pal, you got it in one!! :D

    Don't know about Pintman, but I was sniffing around Temple Bar after the game like a fúcking tomcat in heat. You'd pay through the nose for a pint down there, but it's where the action is. Soon got chatting to a couple of fat-arsed ones from Wales. Great craic so they were. Bought them a few drinks, and we were roaring drunk by the end of the night. One of them took a shine to me, bird in her mid-30's. She was wearing a Wales top, but I could see she had a fine set of fun bags on her underneath. Turns out she was recently sepearted from a 'softcock named Alun'. I suggested we head back to her hotel for a raid of the minibar.

    Fúck me, but she was some goer. The language on her was out of this world, calling me a 'Irish cnut' and 'don't give up on me now Johnny, you fúcking spud muncher'. It was nearly worn down to the stump by the time we finished. Was hanging when I woke up, but helped meself to the buffet for breakfast this morning. Got her number, so I might catch up with her if I'm ever in Cardiff. :cool:


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,194 ✭✭✭TomSweeney


    You got it in one pal, you got it in one!! :D

    Don't know about Pintman, but I was sniffing around Temple Bar after the game like a fúcking tomcat in heat. You'd pay through the nose for a pint down there, but it's where the action is. Soon got chatting to a couple of fat-arsed ones from Wales. Great craic so they were. Bought them a few drinks, and we were roaring drunk by the end of the night. One of them took a shine to me, bird in her mid-30's. She was wearing a Wales top, but I could see she had a fine set of fun bags on her underneath. Turns out she was recently sepearted from a 'softcock named Alun'. I suggested we head back to her hotel for a raid of the minibar.

    Fúck me, but she was some goer. The language on her was out of this world, calling me a 'Irish cnut' and 'don't give up on me now Johnny, you fúcking spud muncher'. It was nearly worn down to the stump by the time we finished. Was hanging when I woke up, but helped meself to the buffet for breakfast this morning. Got her number, so I might catch up with her if I'm ever in Cardiff. :cool:


    :D love it!


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,041 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    fúcking spud muncher. :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    I'm looking forward to Pintmans posts ....


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,434 ✭✭✭showpony1


    I'm looking forward to Pintmans posts ....

    The Pintman usually only does the dirt abroad on golf trips to Portugal, girls that would suck a garden through a hose over there.


  • Registered Users Posts: 356 ✭✭lorcand1990


    You got it in one pal, you got it in one!! :D

    Don't know about Pintman, but I was sniffing around Temple Bar after the game like a fúcking tomcat in heat. You'd pay through the nose for a pint down there, but it's where the action is. Soon got chatting to a couple of fat-arsed ones from Wales. Great craic so they were. Bought them a few drinks, and we were roaring drunk by the end of the night. One of them took a shine to me, bird in her mid-30's. She was wearing a Wales top, but I could see she had a fine set of fun bags on her underneath. Turns out she was recently sepearted from a 'softcock named Alun'. I suggested we head back to her hotel for a raid of the minibar.

    Fúck me, but she was some goer. The language on her was out of this world, calling me a 'Irish cnut' and 'don't give up on me now Johnny, you fúcking spud muncher'. It was nearly worn down to the stump by the time we finished. Was hanging when I woke up, but helped meself to the buffet for breakfast this morning. Got her number, so I might catch up with her if I'm ever in Cardiff. :cool:

    You could give Ross O'Carroll Kelly a run for his money with that!


  • Registered Users Posts: 213 ✭✭CastielJ


    emm no, but I was invited once


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    Jeez feel like a bit of a prude reading this thread. We’re not reknowned to be a sexy bunch like. Can think of nothing worse than standing and trying to act casual while there’s an orgy of slightly fat middle aged couples in the corner and a guy getting sucked off in front of me.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 63 ✭✭Pluto Planet


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    Jeez feel like a bit of a prude reading this thread. We’re not reknowned to be a sexy bunch like. Can think of nothing worse than standing and trying to act casual while there’s an orgy of slightly fat middle aged couples in the corner and a guy getting sucked off in front of me.

    Don't knock it til you try it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    Nah hard pass tbh


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    Jeez feel like a bit of a prude reading this thread. We’re not reknowned to be a sexy bunch like. Can think of nothing worse than standing and trying to act casual while there’s an orgy of slightly fat middle aged couples in the corner and a guy getting sucked off in front of me.

    There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Or mine for that matter.

    I got a glimpse of it one evening when out with another married couple and the husband started talking about swinging and the wife started rubbing her leg off mine under the table. A very "respectable" straight laced professional couple I might add. Now if she looked more like Jessica Alba than Angela Merkel then who knows ...


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Don't knock it til you try it.

    Bookmarking !


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Bambi985


    professore wrote: »

    I got a glimpse of it one evening when out with another married couple and the husband started talking about swinging and the wife started rubbing her leg off mine under the table. A very "respectable" straight laced professional couple I might add. Now if she looked more like Jessica Alba than Angela Merkel then who knows ...


    :pac::pac:

    That's the thing isn't it. How often are they likely to be on the Jessica Alba vs Angela Merkel scale of attractiveness...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,119 ✭✭✭Jack Kanoff


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    :pac::pac:

    That's the thing isn't it. How often are they likely to be on the Jessica Alba vs Angela Merkel scale of attractiveness...

    Those Teutonic thighs are a 10 on my jackkanoff-scale !!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    :pac::pac:

    That's the thing isn't it. How often are they likely to be on the Jessica Alba vs Angela Merkel scale of attractiveness...

    Looks like I'm not the only one she made the moves on ...

    merkel-pope-fb-800x498.jpg


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    Pope with the innovative 2 in the pink and 1 in the stink there


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    Bambi985 wrote: »
    Jeez feel like a bit of a prude reading this thread. We’re not reknowned to be a sexy bunch like. Can think of nothing worse than standing and trying to act casual while there’s an orgy of slightly fat middle aged couples in the corner and a guy getting sucked off in front of me.

    Yeah, in one's mind's eye, it's supermodels in attendance. In reality, I'd imagine it's very far from that.


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