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Medical student assaults girlfriend

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    #62
    backspin.
    Registered Users Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭backspin.


    Don Kiddick wrote: »
    What a weird post

    Not in the slightest. She needs to learn that she can't shove food in someone's face and slap people and he needs to learn he can't punch and kick people.

    I'm a little concerned that so many people seem to gloss over her part in the whole incident.

    Here is a good rule of thumb for everyone men and women, don't physically assault anybody. Control yourself and use words.


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    #63
    Don Kiddick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,080 ✭✭✭Don Kiddick


    backspin. wrote: »
    Not in the slightest. She needs to learn that she can't shove food in someone's face and slap people and he needs to learn he can't punch and kick people.

    I'm a little concerned that so many people seem to gloss over her part in the whole incident.

    Here is a good rule of thumb for everyone men and women, don't physically assault anybody. Control yourself and use words.

    I believe it was using words that escalated it to violence...


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    #64
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users Posts: 5,083 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    Yes they both behaved disgracefully but he brougjt it to a new level behaving like he did.
    Would he havw have gotten off so lightly if he wasnt a med student. Is that supposed to make a person be judged differently?


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    #65
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    backspin. wrote: »
    Not in the slightest. She needs to learn that she can't shove food in someone's face and slap people and he needs to learn he can't punch and kick people.

    I'm a little concerned that so many people seem to gloss over her part in the whole incident.

    But you don't even know if a complaint was made.

    I mean, did he go to the Gardai to make a statement and press for her to be prosecuted? If he has glossed over her role, why are you equating the matters?


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    #66
    irishman86
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,814 ✭✭✭irishman86


    pitifulgod wrote: »
    He followed her to beat the living daylights out of her. Slapping while I oppose it is not remotely comparable. His behaviour veers into highly disturbing and unhinged. Sounds like he could easily have killed her.

    Ah ffs grow up
    Killed her is a mad escalation


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    #67
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users Posts: 8,148 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    backspin. wrote: »
    Not in the slightest. She needs to learn that she can't shove food in someone's face and slap people and he needs to learn he can't punch and kick people.

    I'm a little concerned that so many people seem to gloss over her part in the whole incident.

    Here is a good rule of thumb for everyone men and women, don't physically assault anybody. Control yourself and use words.





    The boundaries and dynamics in abusive relationships are often totally off. A lot of time the victim is goaded into violence and verbal abuse also which the abuser can then use to blame them for "retaliating", which is usually completely out of proportion to the original offense. They deserved it, they are just as bad or even they are in fact the abuser etc. It's all part of the manipulation

    So, I don't think that she deserved this in anyway or played any part in being assaulted. Id put money on her behaviour being a result of being in an abusive relationship and part of a wider pattern of abuse

    Also pouring the coke on her after beating her was purely for humiliation. This guy is a nasty bastard, I'm glad she got away from him


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    #68
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    The boundaries and dynamics in abusive relationships are often totally off. A lot of time the victim is goaded into violence and verbal abuse also which the abuser can then use to blame them for "retaliating", which is usually completely out of proportion to the original offense. They deserved it, they are just as bad or even they are in fact the abuser etc. It's all part of the manipulation

    So, I don't think that she deserved this in anyway or played any part in being assaulted. Id put money on her behaviour being a result of being in an abusive relationship and part of a wider pattern of abuse

    Tbh the article sort of reads like she was thick/cross (for whatever reason)

    and waited up for him to come in from night out and row escalated from there


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    #69
    hatrickpatrick
    Registered Users Posts: 17,797 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    maxsmum wrote: »
    See link here.

    Reading the circumstances of this, sounds like there were a pair of them in it. Yes, he kicked her when she was down but not sure why she wasn't charged with assault also?

    I am a woman btw.

    Because:
    Moody followed her to a bedroom, where he punched her in the back and knocked her to the floor.
    He then kicked her "numerous times", said Gda Byrne.

    The charge is for assault causing harm, not simple assault. If the genders were reversed, I'm pretty sure the law would be applied in exactly the same way.


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    #70
    backspin.
    Registered Users Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭backspin.


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    So, I don't think that she deserved this in anyway or played any part in being assaulted.

    Food in face? Slapping him? No part you say??

    Are you seriously saying she was justified in doing that? Are you saying woman can hit men when angry but it's up to men to control themselves and never retaliate?


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    #71
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    backspin. wrote: »
    Food in face? Slapping him? No part you say??

    Are you seriously saying she was justified in doing that? Are you saying woman can hit men when angry but it's up to men to control themselves and never retaliate?
    He slapped her first, it says so in an evening herald article.


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    #72
    gctest50
    Registered Users Posts: 9,605 ✭✭✭gctest50


    He wouldn't be safe to left alone with a female patient in a room

    Tired from a long shift, you wouldn't know what he'd do


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    #73
    end of the road
    Registered Users Posts: 29,027 ✭✭✭✭end of the road


    backspin. wrote: »
    Food in face? Slapping him? No part you say??

    Are you seriously saying she was justified in doing that? Are you saying woman can hit men when angry but it's up to men to control themselves and never retaliate?

    nobody is saying she was right. she was wrong for what she did. however, his reaction outweighs anything she did by miles.

    ticking a box on a form does not make you of a religion.



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    #74
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users Posts: 8,148 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    backspin. wrote: »
    Food in face? Slapping him? No part you say??

    Are you seriously saying she was justified in doing that? Are you saying woman can hit men when angry but it's up to men to control themselves and never retaliate?

    I'm saying that manipulative abusers know exactly how to wind up their victim so that they can justify their abuse of them and even blame them for it (that applies to both males and females btw) I would view her behaviour through the lens of an abusive relationship. I highly doubt this was the first violent incident. She is not to blame


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    #75
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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    #76
    Hoboo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,533 ✭✭✭Hoboo


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    I'm saying that manipulative abusers know exactly how to wind up their victim so that they can justify their abuse of them and even blame them for it (that applies to both males and females btw) I would view her behaviour through the lens of an abusive relationship. I highly doubt this was the first violent incident. She is not to blame

    Id view it through the lens of an abusive relationship too. If she pushed food in his face so easily, maybe it wasn't the first time she did something like that? Maybe she'd done similar before and never had a reaction. Now what he did was OTT, but maybe it was her doing the long term abuse? Is she the manipulative abuser, winding up her victim so she can justify it, and blame him?

    If you're gonna go around pushing food in peoples faces, or being physical, its gonna come back on you, male or female. She won't do that again.


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    #77
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users Posts: 8,148 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    Patww79 wrote: »
    From the sounds of it she did all the manipulating for the incident to happen. What you say is probably true, you just have the wrong person.

    Yes, the person who was kicked and punched after trying to get away and then had a can of coke poured over her as she was lying injured is clearly the abuser in this situation.

    Get a grip


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    #78
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Hoboo wrote: »
    Is she the manipulative abuser, winding up her victim so she can justify it, and blame him?

    Can't see that suggested in the coverage.

    Can you point to where it was said or argued? I mean, he was facing a serious charge, presumably if he was in fact the victim he could have used it in his defence.

    If not, it seems to be harsh to imply blame to the victim of a savage assault.


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    #79
    GMSA
    Registered Users Posts: 281 ✭✭GMSA


    I'm assuming drink had been consumed by one or both people before this incident. If not then they have issues that need to be addressed.
    As the saying goes What stays inside sober comes out drunk.


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    #80
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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    #81
    Hoboo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,533 ✭✭✭Hoboo


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Can't see that suggested in the coverage.

    Can you point to where it was said or argued? I mean, he was facing a serious charge, presumably if he was in fact the victim he could have used it in his defence.

    If not, it seems to be harsh to imply blame to the victim of a savage assault.

    Im replying to another post :rolleyes:


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    #82
    RayM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,973 ✭✭✭RayM


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Ah, "pushing his buttons", was she? You even use the language of an abuser. You seem like some piece of work.


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    #83
    backspin.
    Registered Users Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭backspin.


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    She is not to blame

    I have never raised my hand to anybody in my life, man, woman or child. So I can not imagine ever shoving food in someone's face or beating someone up. I know there are violent people out there so the best course of action is to never assault anyone.

    He was a brute doing what he did but she was not blameless. Shoving food in someone's face is a disgusting thing to do. And nobody should be surprised at things turning violent from there.


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    #84
    super_furry
    Registered Users Posts: 27,322 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Just a fancy way of saying ‘she was asking for it’.


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    #85
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    Patww79 wrote: »
    You were talking about instigation. The person who acted first and was pushing buttons. There's a lot more to it than your man bad woman good tripe.

    I'm not seeing how you can manipulate someone into pouring drink over you after they've beaten you to the ground after a chase. Regardless of their gender. One must be a seriously messed up individual to be capable of it. It's not a random single punch situation.
    This person should be kept away from medical professions (as should be the infamous student from UK).


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    #86
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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    #87
    RayM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,973 ✭✭✭RayM


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Do you think she should, in some way, be blamed for getting punched to the ground and repeatedly kicked?


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    #88
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Hoboo wrote: »
    Im replying to another post :rolleyes:

    I know you were.

    In your reply you raised the possibility that she was abusive.

    It's not something that was remotely suggested in the case. We can certainly analyse his conduct, he was in the dock pleading guilty to a very serious assault. She wasn't.


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    #89
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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    #90
    backspin.
    Registered Users Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭backspin.


    A test for people. Go down to your local chippy tonight after the nightclubs have closed. Find some drunk guy much bigger than you and shove his curry chips in his face. Let me know how things go for you?


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    #91
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    But he was entitled to raise the claim that she instigated it.

    He didn't. Why would we?


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