Medical student assaults girlfriend

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Hoboo

Deleted User wrote: »

I know you were.

In your reply you raised the possibility that she was abusive.

It's not something that was remotely suggested in the case. We can certainly analyse his conduct, he was in the dock pleading guilty to a very serious assault. She wasn't.

Yes I asked the question of what we DONT know. We don't know the history of possible long term abuse as the poster I was replying to suggested. Read their post again, then mine, will make sense

Patww79 wrote: »

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Well, it doesn't sound as if she punched and kicked herself, does it? He chased her into a room and then tried to kick down the door of another room. Sounds like you have a lot of sympathy for him. Which is disturbing.

Hoboo wrote: »

Yes I asked the question of what we DONT know. We don't know the history of possible long term abuse as the poster I was replying to suggested. Read their post again, then mine, will make sense

But we don't know because it was never raised, suggested, implied or argued by the accused. The obvious inference being that it simply didn't exist or happen. We are perfectly entitled to speculate about the person who pleaded guilty to violent assault, he has admitted his violence. We really should not speculate about the victim when it wasn't even raised by the accused.

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Patww79 wrote: »

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In what way do you think the victim shares any blame for the actions of a man who chased her into a room, punched her to the floor, repeatedly kicked her, and then - when she managed to lock herself in another room - proceeded to kick the door in? If you think the blame lies with anyone other than the attacker in this case, you are one seriously messed up individual.

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Patww79 wrote: »

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By inventing the "mental abuse on her part" angle (for which there was no evidence whatsoever given in court), you seem desperate to deflect blame away from the perpetrator and push some onto the victim. And you slipped up big-time when you used the go-to excuse of the domestic abuser - "pushing buttons".

Patww79 wrote: »

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Hoboo wrote: »

Now what he did was OTT, but maybe it was her doing the long term abuse? Is she the manipulative abuser, winding up her victim so she can justify it, and blame him?

Patww79 wrote: »

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She drove him to it.
She was clearly asking for it.
What does she expect when she pushes all his buttons?
Poor guy, manipulated like that.

Right?

ceadaoin.

Patww79 wrote: »

What I was wondering is that the poster I originally replied to seemed to be completely certain that her part in the instigation of the incident can be put down to build up of mental abuse on his part. I'm questioning why it could not be down to a build up of mental abuse on her part, and how they jump to the conclusion that there was any mental abuse at all and it wasn't just a one-off incident on both their parts?
I've no question over what he did after that and him being rightly punsihed for it. Filling in blanks on the side of either party is dangerous though.

Well because the evidence seems to suggest that. A person who has "snapped" after months of mental abuse generally would not go to the lengths this guy did to not only beat but also humiliate his victim. His actions are those of an abuser. Hers are the actions of a person in an abusive and dysfunctional relationship

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Patww79 wrote: »

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If you're going to use the language of abusers while attempting to mitigate their crimes, don't be shocked when you're called out on it.

Patww79 wrote: »

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Rather tellingly, you asserted earlier that "There's a lot more to it than your man bad woman good tripe". We get it - you don't like it when men are the bad guys because women are equally capable of being bad, etc, etc. Seriously though, do yourself a favour and don't choose this case as the hill you're gonna die on. Find one where there's, ya know, at least some level of ambiguity.

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backspin.

I think people are going to come away from this thread with the belief that it is OK for a woman to assault a man when she is angry. And if she does she is blameless.

Shoving food in someones face is obnoxious.

Punching someone to the ground and kicking the bejeezus out of them is criminal.

Spot the difference.

pitifulgod

Patww79 wrote: »

Ah year sure it's the excuse I use all the time myself! :rolleyes:

I just want to know where is the unquestionable certainty that there was mental abuse on his part in the lead up to it all.

The fact he pursued her through the home and could very easily have murdered her. In addition pouring coca cola over her, would indicate he has a personality that enjoys psychological abuse. No decent person would do what he did...

The J Stands for Jay

anna080 wrote: »

This is a no brainier for me. He is totally to blame. She pushed a take away in his face and gets the absolute shlt kicked out of her for it. To kick another person when they're lying on the ground is scumbag behaviour.

Worrying that people think she shares some of the responsibility for his disgusting actions towards her. Precarious times indeed but people are losing the ability to see right from wrong in the process.

The ref should give a free kick against her for the initial foul. For the off the ball incident, he should get a straight red, with a report sent the the authorities. He should receive a lengthy ban and a large fine.

Patww79 wrote: »

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More like, if you use the most blatantly obvious language of an abuser while trying to blame a victim, eyebrows will be raised. Don't play dumb.

backspin.

Candie wrote: »

Shoving food in someones face is obnoxious.

Punching someone to the ground and kicking the bejeezus out of them is criminal.

Spot the difference.

What about this for an idea. Don't do either.

Shoving food in someones face is an extremely confrontational thing to do. No man would ever do it to another man during an argument and not expect things to escalate very very fast. This woman did it to a violent man and he reacted as he did. I think its reckless for people to downplay her role in the incident. The message should always be that during an argument never lash out. She was wrong to start it and he was very very wrong to beat her up. Actions have consequences and all adults need to act wisely particularly during confrontations.

rgace

backspin. wrote: »

A test for people. Go down to your local chippy tonight after the nightclubs have closed. Find some drunk guy much bigger than you and shove his curry chips in his face. Let me know how things go for you?

The chances are a much bigger guy would give you a belt or push you away and warn you to **** off or else.
Do you think the majority of drunk, big guys kick the ****e out of anyone who hassles them?

Collie D

Every once in a while this forum brings up a thread that really makes you wonder about people. This is one.

Yes, she was a bit of a weapon for pushing the food in his face. Was it justification for punching her from behind and kicking her while she was on the ground? The answer to that should tell you a lot about yourself.

She probably provoked him into it. Women should definitely take the blame for everything and anything that happens to them. Probably a stupid feminist who thinks men should be 2nd class citizens anyway.

pitifulgod

backspin. wrote: »

What about this for an idea. Don't do either.

Shoving food in someones face is an extremely confrontational thing to do. No man would ever do it to another man during an argument and not expect things to escalate very very fast. This woman did it to a violent man and he reacted as he did. I think its reckless for people to downplay her role in the incident. The message should always be that during an argument never lash out. She was wrong to start it and he was very very wrong to beat her up. Actions have consequences and all adults need to act wisely particularly during confrontations.

It's pretty reckless that you appear to be legitimising his response. He could have killed her, such a person should be sent to jail as ultimately they are a danger to public safety.

Sand

The problem here is the attack was sustained. It would be one thing if he had a moment of rage when she threw the food at him and had lashed out in that moment. But he followed her to attack her. Time enough for him to grab hold of himself.

Medical students seem to get an easy enough ride in courts for some reason. There was that junkie in the UK who stabbed her (then) boyfriend because he got between her and her addiction. She got off lightly in court and is back studying as if nothing had happened.

I presume its because medical students, all other things being equal, are more likely to be from the right sort of families.

tomwaterford

pitifulgod wrote: »

It's pretty reckless that you appear to be legitimising his response. He could have killed her, such a person should be sent to jail as ultimately they are a danger to public safety.

The judge has more or less implied he'll get off Scot free if he pays compensation

I'd have taught this would've been the bigger scandel here,
This lads buying his way outta conviction for violent offences.....not me wan throwing chips at him???

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pitifulgod

Patww79 wrote: »

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The absolute animal is the man who beat the living daylights out of a woman and could have murdered if she hadn't locked the door. There was no justification for his behaviour.