Naughty things you do

Jobs OXO

clairewithani wrote: »

Cuckoo???

Yeah. Cuckoo....

clairewithani

pickarooney wrote: »

What a bizarre thing to do. It must have cost a fortune in postage apart from everything else.

It cost a bit. Not a fortune. Apart from what? I got some pleasure from it

paleoperson

clairewithani wrote: »

It cost a bit. Not a fortune. Apart from what? I got some pleasure from it

What sort of.... "pleasure"?




I guess a lot of what is puzzling people about your post is how you said it was "the best week of my life", had this got something to do with that?

endacl

Skihunta13 wrote: »

You are a disgusting animal!

In fairness....

An average pool might be, for example, 25m length x 10m width x 1 to 2m depth = 375 cubic metres. A cubic metre is equal to 1000 litres. So, the volume of this example is c.375000 litres. The urge to urinate occurs in an average adult when the bladder contains about 150ml of urine. Piddling in the pool results in a urine contamination of 375000000/150, or one part urine per 2,500,000 water. Homeopathy could only aspire to that level of 'active ingredient'!

CruelCoin

I speed everywhere. All the time. Constantly.

I got places to be.

Are Am Eye

If you think about it - the fish are going around pissing in the seas and oceans. Not to mention the sharks. Whales stuffing their faces with plankton. Taking big dumps.

Jesus Wept

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

I'm sorta with Ray on the car thing, it's illegal and ignorant and dangerous to park on footpaths. I don't damage them though I just hock massive loogeys on the driver's side window or door handle.

Love all the hard cases talking about the bodily harm they'd do. If you're so precious about your car then park where you're supposed to. And btw you'll do fookin nuttin!

Are you startin?

CruelCoin

Are Am Eye wrote: »

If you think about it - the fish are going around pissing in the seas and oceans. Not to mention the sharks. Whales stuffing their faces with plankton. Taking big dumps.

Yup.

That white sandy beach to wiggles your toes in on holidays?

How does the parrotfish poop feel on your skin?

Victor

RayM wrote: »

cars that are parked on pavements

pjohnson wrote: »

This is such a prick thing to do.

Agreed.

The Royal Scam

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

I'm sorta with Ray on the car thing, it's illegal and ignorant and dangerous to park on footpaths. I don't damage them though I just hock massive loogeys on the driver's side window or door handle.

Id never damage someones property because 2 wrongs dont make a right but I have no problem hocking a gooey greener right onto peoples windscreen if they are totally blocking my way on the path and I have to run on the road. No problem at all.

Victor

Jobs OXO wrote: »

I always like to do a pee in the pool just to mark my territory.

1. It's not your territory.
2. So you like swimming in you own pee?
3. Do not do this near sharks, it makes it easier for them to mistake you for a seal.

maudgonner

Victor wrote: »

3. Do not do this near sharks, it makes it easier for them to mistake you for a seal.

What the hell kind of swimming pools do you use? :eek:

Valentina

I text "I'm on the way" when I haven't even left the house.

I watch the next episode in the series without telling my OH.

:cool:

Realt Dearg Sec

xzanti wrote: »

Jobs OXO wrote: »

I always like to do a pee in the pool just to mark my territory. Naughty I know but just a little foible of mine !

What are your naughty ways ?

As a mother who brings her young child to the local swimming pool regularly, people like you make me sick. I'm assuming you're a grown adult.

Cop on to yourself.

I have bad news for you, but your young child regularly pisses in the local swimming pool. Makes me sick.

paleoperson

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Jawgap

endacl wrote: »

In fairness....

An average pool might be, for example, 25m length x 10m width x 1 to 2m depth = 375 cubic metres. A cubic metre is equal to 1000 litres. So, the volume of this example is c.375000 litres. The urge to urinate occurs in an average adult when the bladder contains about 150ml of urine. Piddling in the pool results in a urine contamination of 375000000/150, or one part urine per 2,500,000 water. Homeopathy could only aspire to that level of 'active ingredient'!

it's not so much the quantity of pi$$ one might ingest - it's the discomfort it causes.

When pi$$heads unload in the pool the urine reacts with the chlorine in the water to create chloramines - and its these that give you sore eyes; chlorine in the water doesn't.

It's the reason why you are asked to shower before swimming to get rid of any residual sweat/dirt that might be on you that can also lead to chloramine formation.

The OP, by pi$$ing in pools, isn't just being disgusting he's being a dick because his actions contribute directly to the physical discomfort of others.

freshpopcorn

I drive a 4x4, I like an other driver has experienced damage to my vehicle over the years.(Sometimes intentional) I started parking on footpaths on purpose and hiding in the boot and then I'd wait for somebody to damage my vehicle. One day this guy knocked off my wing mirror.
So, I followed him home. I waited for him to leave his house and I put his toothbrush and all hair brushes/etc down the toilet. Watered down all the shampoo/gels/mouthwash/etc in his bathroom.
I also gave all the cutlery/crockery/glasses in the house a good clean with dirty toilet water and I made sure his kettle was filled up for him when he returned from vandalising cars.

Cork Lass

RayM wrote: »

I did it once (to a 4x4, parked on an unlit road with a very narrow pavement) but it was genuinely an accident. I mean, I elbowed the mirror deliberately, but it was supposed to fold back inwards, not fall to the ground. I just love retelling the story here because it's the only interesting thing in my life .

Fixed that for you.

suicide_circus

Ah Ray, you're a walking Daily Mail headline.

"Dole scrounger vandalizes tax payers cars"

MissMayo

pickarooney wrote: »

What language is this? I recognise the sentence structure but none of the words.

I should have just said that I rest my plate on my husbands duck or my sheep, and left it at that!

xzanti

Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »

I have bad news for you, but your young child regularly pisses in the local swimming pool. Makes me sick.

He's brought to the toilet before he gets in to the pool, and he tells me if he needs to go again, he's not an animal. Maybe someone should bring the OP to the loo before he gets in.

railer201

Sometimes I use my fingers instead of the tongs for the sugar lumps :eek:

sbsquarepants

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

I report people I suspect of social welfare fraud to the relevant authority. Get huge satisfaction from it. Almost a hobby of mine at this stage.

Aren't you just fantastic. Now, step away from the curtains and give yourself a big pat on the back, you can resume the surveillance of your neighbours afterwards.

Floppybits

I pee in the shower and worst of all I would check out nice ladies if I see them on the street.  :)

RayM

suicide_circus wrote: »

Ah Ray, you're a walking Daily Mail headline.

"Dole scrounger vandalizes tax payers cars"

"...on the way home from work"

danganabu

Phoenix Wright wrote: »

I don't do anything particular naughty currently, but when I was eight, I intentionally wore the same pair of underpants for six weeks running. Each time I went for a bath, I would subtly take my underpants right back out of the wash basket. I can't remember my reasoning, I just really liked them. They were navy with a walkie-talkie logo at the front, I thought they were class.

I sooo want a pair of those .........''Hey love, it's for you''

Phoenix Wright

danganabu wrote:

I sooo want a pair of those .........''Hey love, it's for you''

I knew I shouldn't have let my mother throw them out, that's genius! I would struggle to fit into them now mind you - or at least I hope..

hairyslug

I flush before I'm finished weeing, it's more a race than being "naughty" but it drives my wife crazy, Christ I hate that word

DrPhilG

hairyslug wrote: »

I flush before I'm finished weeing, it's more a race than being "naughty" but it drives my wife crazy, Christ I hate that word

I do this too.

And if the flush wins the race I don't flush a second time. Unless it's really yellow, that would give me away.

thejaguar

Jake1 wrote: »

I open the Batch loaf at both ends, so I can get the heels before my other half

You're a terrible person.