Wedding Planner Trouble

Teyla Emmagan

All I think you can do is keep your head down and not feed into her drama. It's not her day, it's yours, don't let her detract from it. And carry on completely as normal if you're at home with your parents. Talk away about it, it's your wedding.

It's also not until August so she has a long time to cop onto herself. I would however be looking around for a new bridesmaid (or bridesmaids). You need someone who will be excited for you and will help out unreservedly. No one at the wedding need to ever know you were originally thinking of asking your sisters.

caimitator

mrsdewinter wrote: »

Op, I feel for you - you come across as a caring woman & your fiance is lucky to have you in his life.
But if you 'agreed' to this scenario then how can you get cross now over the non-involvement of your sister?
Just treat them as 2 women you happen to know. From what you say about their 'dates' & tagging one another on Facebook, it sounds like they have v little consideration for you, so follow their lead & step back. You have done everything you can to make them feel essential to your big day, and that hasn't worked. Nothing will change between now & August, so you just suit yourself!
By the way, whoever said up thread that your sisters' friends are laughing at them is correct.

Thank you.

When I made that agreement, I was just trying to end the bad tension around the place before my sister went away for 6 months, I would have said anything! But you’re right, I probably can’t backtrack at this point. Although we never even brought up whether she was gonna attend when we made that agreement, I just wasn’t gonna talk about the wedding around her.

I’m gonna take your advice and treat them as 2 women I happen to know, lord knows they’ve done that to me for long enough. Gonna be a strange Christmas

caimitator

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

All I think you can do is keep your head down and not feed into her drama. It's not her day, it's yours, don't let her detract from it. And carry on completely as normal if you're at home with your parents. Talk away about it, it's your wedding.

It's also not until August so she has a long time to cop onto herself. I would however be looking around for a new bridesmaid (or bridesmaids). You need someone who will be excited for you and will help out unreservedly. No one at the wedding need to ever know you were originally thinking of asking your sisters.

This is what I want to do. But I’m finding it hard to talk to them in general with this anger. I’ve taken a step back in recent weeks and I’ve realised how it’s always me starting the communication.

I had a pretty rotten week last week, 2 funerals and then I broke my finger. My younger sister didn’t even txt to see how I was. I know it’s trivial, but I never noticed that before. All these things are just making me angrier and making me want to ignore her completely. I know I sound like a drama queen but I’m annoyed.

Ghekko

So stop communication altogether and if they contact you first, then politely respond. They can't berate you for lack of contact if they don't initiate it either. As for getting angry, try some mindfulness to distract yourself from even thinking about them. There are good apps you can download to get you started. Great idea to now think of them as just 2 ordinary guests and not family, as you wouldn't involve an ordinary guest in any of the planning.

Neyite

caimitator wrote: »

I think the problem is between now and the wedding. I’ve tried acting normal but I’m just becoming so resentful and angry at them. So yeah I don’t have to send a save the date or an invite but I genuinely don’t even want to talk to either of them at all and I’m finding it difficult to compartmentalise the wedding when we spend a couple of hours together and I’m not allowed bring it up. I just find myself not wanting to talk at all.

I'm glad you are finding your anger here, tbh it's long overdue.

You are getting married. You sound far from a bridezilla but your sisters are behaving appallingly. And your parents are just as bad if they are indulging their tantrums and have pleaded with you to treat your wedding like a dirty family secret That Must Not Be Mentioned.

Fcuk that.

If you tow the line here, this WILL rankle with you for years to come. When you look back at your day and have parents there in the photos trying to be fake-happy for you and two scowling sisters.

I would honestly go and elope with just my OH's family there if my family were treating me the way your's are treating you. And I'm close to them and visit often so it's not something I'd do lightly, but if I had siblings doing this and being indulgently cosseted by my parents, I'd feel like I'd rather a wedding with guest who are happy to spend the day with me and OH.

caimitator

Neyite wrote: »

I'm glad you are finding your anger here, tbh it's long overdue.

You are getting married. You sound far from a bridezilla but your sisters are behaving appallingly. And your parents are just as bad if they are indulging their tantrums and have pleaded with you to treat your wedding like a dirty family secret That Must Not Be Mentioned.

Fcuk that.

If you tow the line here, this WILL rankle with you for years to come. When you look back at your day and have parents there in the photos trying to be fake-happy for you and two scowling sisters.

I would honestly go and elope with just my OH's family there if my family were treating me the way your's are treating you. And I'm close to them and visit often so it's not something I'd do lightly, but if I had siblings doing this and being indulgently cosseted by my parents, I'd feel like I'd rather a wedding with guest who are happy to spend the day with me and OH.

As @bleary suggested above, is doing something like that just fuelling the drama and poking the bear? The poster suggested that I shouldn’t be expecting them to act a certain way or be involved at all just because they’re my sisters. And that any ignoring/unfriending/uninviting I do is just childishness on my part.

Teyla Emmagan

caimitator wrote: »

As @bleary suggested above, is doing something like that just fuelling the drama and poking the bear? The poster suggested that I shouldn’t be expecting them to act a certain way or be involved at all just because they’re my sisters. And that any ignoring/unfriending/uninviting I do is just childishness on my part.

To be honest i would expect your sisters to WANT to get involved. Even if they weren't in the bridal party. You're their sister! They should be excited and happy for you! Sadly they aren't reacting too well so for, but I don't think your expectations are in any way unreasonable. I wouldn't uninvite them though in any circumstances. If they choose not to turn up then they look pathetic, but if you don't actually ask them then you look petty and mean. As other people have said, they know when the wedding is, they don't need a save the date. And hopefully they will start acting more maturely between now and then.

And sorry to criticize your parents but I think they should give them both a kick up the a&& at this stage and tell them to stop putting themselves first.

Neyite

caimitator wrote: »

As @bleary suggested above, is doing something like that just fuelling the drama and poking the bear? The poster suggested that I shouldn’t be expecting them to act a certain way or be involved at all just because they’re my sisters. And that any ignoring/unfriending/uninviting I do is just childishness on my part.

Well no, it depends on how it's done and the motive behind it. I think me and bleary are saying the same things but in a different way. You aren't doing it to be retaliatory to your sisters, you are doing it so that they get exactly what they want - which is to have no involvement in your day. This is what they want, isn't it? They don't want to attend your wedding on their birthday, they don't want to talk about the wedding or be bridesmaids or any of that. So give them what they want. Don't mention it. At all. Right up to the day itself.

If I was planning a wedding where the mere mention of it in the family was forbidden, I'd just go and do my own thing with it and not involve them. It's not being childish or retaliatory, just me recognising that they don't want to be part of that occasion and me accepting it. It's like ignoring a child's tantrum and not giving them what they want. You are the adult in the situation so you behave like an adult and ignore the tantrums.

By continuing with plans that would force them to turn up suited and booted for appearances sake and do the roles of bridesmaid under duress I would feel that it would only deepen the feud and make everyone on edge and miserable for the day.

Having said that, every family is different so what might work in my family dynamic may not work in yours.

You want your sisters to back down and to start getting excited about your wedding and enthuse about being your bridesmaids and planning your hen. You are still holding out hope that they will come around. What are you going to do and how are you going to feel when they don't? And they will do it closer to or on your wedding day itself for maximum distress to you.

Why on earth are you handing assholes like them that power over your life? What we are saying to you is you need to not have your happiness dependent on whether or not they play ball on the day. Either downgrade them so they have no input or role in your day and that you are simply putting out chairs in case they turn up, or just go and have a wedding with people who will be happy to be sharing your day.

wyrn

OP are they still bridesmaids and are you still allowing their friends to be invited to the day after?

I think you might need to consider that your sister's friends might turn up (in the event that you don't want a joint celebration) or that your sister might throw her own party on that day to clash with yours.

caimitator

wyrn wrote: »

OP are they still bridesmaids and are you still allowing their friends to be invited to the day after?

I think you might need to consider that your sister's friends might turn up (in the event that you don't want a joint celebration) or that your sister might throw her own party on that day to clash with yours.

This is the thing. I haven’t spoken to them about the wedding since this agreement so haven’t spoken to them about bridesmaids or friends or anything like that.

Ghekko

caimitator wrote: »

This is the thing. I haven’t spoken to them about the wedding since this agreement so haven’t spoken to them about bridesmaids or friends or anything like that.

Ah here, time to organise another couple of bridesmaids for yourself and I wouldn't even bother telling them. Let them hear it from someone else. If they don't want to discuss the wedding then there is no way they can actually be bridesmaids. How are they to attend dress shopping if they don't want to know anything about it?? I swear I'd ignore the bitches forever more if it were me.

caimitator

Ghekko wrote: »

Ah here, time to organise another couple of bridesmaids for yourself and I wouldn't even bother telling them. Let them hear it from someone else. If they don't want to discuss the wedding then there is no way they can actually be bridesmaids. How are they to attend dress shopping if they don't want to know anything about it?? I swear I'd ignore the bitches forever more if it were me.

I think I would ignore them forever if it wasn’t for my parents. They’re hurt too.

Although, for the last few weeks I’ve completely stepped back. I’m thinking of spending xmas with OH’s family. So that we can actually talk about the upcoming year and the exciting build up. That would be a pretty big deal if I didn’t spend xmas with them.

wyrn

caimitator wrote: »

This is the thing. I haven’t spoken to them about the wedding since this agreement so haven’t spoken to them about bridesmaids or friends or anything like that.

I would find new bridesmaids. Bridesmaids are meant to be supportive and from the sounds of it, your sisters have no interest and are miffed. I doubt they'd be willing to organise a hen night for you or to go dress shopping. Find some good people who care about yourself and the wedding.

Your younger sister has already offered to step down, so take her at her word. You shouldn't feel this anxious around family and afraid to mention your wedding. If either sister says anything about it, just say that you didn't want to put them in a difficult position (:rolleyes:) and that you weren't involving them any further.

Just leave your sisters out of all the planning. Don't organise a joint party for the day after, just continue on with your original plans.

caimitator wrote: »

I think I would ignore them forever if it wasn’t for my parents. They’re hurt too.

Although, for the last few weeks I’ve completely stepped back. I’m thinking of spending xmas with OH’s family. So that we can actually talk about the upcoming year and the exciting build up. That would be a pretty big deal if I didn’t spend xmas with them.

From what you've already said about your family, this seems really drastic although I can completely understand why. Is your fiance's family nearby, could you visit both families? Alternatively you could spend it with just yourselves together at home.

This just reiterates why your sisters shouldn't be part of the bridal party, you're afraid to go home for Christmas because you have their drama llamas hanging over you.

Bacchus

caimitator wrote: »

I think I would ignore them forever if it wasn’t for my parents. They’re hurt too.

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, your sisters know this too. They know (from years of experience) that whatever they do YOU will do what is needed to keep peace in the family. This is one big thing they have hold over you on. You're parents seem to be the same, hoping to sweep any unpleasant business under the carpet to keep up appearances. Only you can break this pattern by growing beyond your dependency on your family. It's time that they (all of them) put the effort in to be part of YOUR life instead of the other way around. If you keep crumbling at the first sight of a "peace deal" or compromise then you'll continue in this toxic family situation. Plenty of people have given various forms of advice here. Only you know which way is the right way to go (given that you know the full story/history) so make a plan and follow through. Do not do/say anything out of anger as your sisters will feed off this (like any bully would). Remain calm and deliberate in your choices and actions. Your sisters are one (big) part of it but you need to sit down with your parents too and make it clear that you need their support here (no half measures) and that if they can't see what is so wrong about how your sisters are behaving, that is not good enough and they need to wake up.

SpillingTheTea

I still think your parents need to step in and tell them both to cop the eff on.
They know what the two of them are doing is wrong and they are allowing you to be subjected to being hurt and to the extra stress you really don’t need.
You shouldn’t be bearing the brunt of all this, seeing as though you’re the one trying to keep the peace for everyone else but you.

caimitator

Well I told my parents last night to cop on and I think they got the message. They told me they’re gonna sit her down, tell her she’s ruined my day and she’s breaking up the family. They think she’ll have a strop and won’t talk to them for a while which they’re prepared to accept.

It turns out they were actually arguing over how to approach it. My mam wanted to tell her in no uncertain terms that this was the worst thing that she could do, while my dad wanted a resolution that would not break up the family long term.

SpillingTheTea

caimitator wrote: »

Well I told my parents last night to cop on and I think they got the message. They told me they’re gonna sit her down, tell her she’s ruined my day and she’s breaking up the family. They think she’ll have a strop and won’t talk to them for a while which they’re prepared to accept.

It turns out they were actually arguing over how to approach it. My mam wanted to tell her in no uncertain terms that this was the worst thing that she could do, while my dad wanted a resolution that would not break up the family long term.

You and I are no different, in the first to get married but unlike you, my Mam had been a bit difficult when I’ve been planning. She’s even at one point said she wasn’t coming to my wedding because I wanted a different flower arrangement to what she thinks I should get (even though me and my fiancé are paying for the wedding).
To make peace, I took up her suggestion... and since then, she’s been still giving ‘suggestions’ and when I say it’s not my style I’ve been called a bridezilla. I kept trying to make peace.
But somewhere along the line I realised that it’s wildly unfair how I was being treated.
I couldn’t mention the word wedding without being confronted with a a frosty atmosphere.

So I stopped involving everyone else and made my own decisions and told people what was happening. I stopped asking. As for my Mam, I said to my dad that he needed to stand up for me and take my side (which he did silently) and I told her myself that if she doesn’t want to come, it’s ok. She would be missed but the show would go on.

She changed her tune

scarepanda

It's ****ing ridiculous how people behave with weddings.

Op, I completely understand why you want a definite answer about everything so that you can draw a line in the sand. And in theory the earlier you make a decision (I sense you want to leave her out of the bridal party, and possibly the wedding as well) that it would give everyone time to get over it. However, in reality, in my experience, the earlier you deal with it the more time people have to give you ****e and try work on you to change your mind. So if I was you, I'd wait till may be 5/6 months out from the wedding before being decisive (kind of around the time your finalising numbers). It gives them less time to give you ****e and once the wedding comes around everyone should be more helpful and not want to upset you right before the wedding.

Also, this side of Christmas (and I'm the last person to keep the peace for peace sake), but while it sounds like your parents are starting to come around to your side, I don't think you want to be alienating them by making such a bold decision, when it's not necessarily necessary at this point and get accused of 'ruining' Christmas for them. That could backfire on you badly. It's a different situation if they decide to tackle your sister on their own time over her behaviour.

I had it myself, all the family politics and ****e that comes with it, right up to 2 weeks before the wedding. And like you there was a period during our 7 month engagement (probably about 70% of the time) that I couldn't talk about the wedding to my family without something negative coming from it (even over the most ridiculous stuff). But I don't for one second regret my decision that caused all the ****e (not inviting an aunt to any of the wedding) or giving in to all the pressure to keep the peace. I know extended relations don't agree with my decision, but none of them walked in my boots when I was a teenager and putting up with all her ****e, or in the last 18 months with the games she's being playing since I had my daughter.

You do what's right for you and your future husband. That's all that matters at the end of the day, that you both turn up on the day.

SpillingTheTea

I also think you need to draw the boundary line yourself. You need to give your parents a bit of a kick up the backside to try help you.

What you do is go to the in-laws for Christmas and say why the reason you’re going. That you want to be able to talk about your own wedding and feel comfortable doing so.

It will show that you mean what you’re saying and that you’re no longer being a pushover. X

caimitator

caimitator wrote: »

Well I told my parents last night to cop on and I think they got the message. They told me they’re gonna sit her down, tell her she’s ruined my day and she’s breaking up the family. They think she’ll have a strop and won’t talk to them for a while which they’re prepared to accept.

It turns out they were actually arguing over how to approach it. My mam wanted to tell her in no uncertain terms that this was the worst thing that she could do, while my dad wanted a resolution that would not break up the family long term.

Honestly, I think your parents should be ashamed of themselves. It's not for nothing that your sister is like this, she was reared to be like this. Even apart from that, they should have nipped this sh't in the bud a long time ago. Instead they have you worried sick about "breaking up the family" while that absolute cow runs rings around the lot of you.

Sorry but I have two sisters and I know well how the dynamics of how we were reared have affected our personalities and behaviour, but in a good way. Your own worst enemy wouldn't treat you this badly and the buck stops with them.

qwerty13

I seem to be majorly at odds with everyone else, but I think you are very much contributing to the drama:

Your sister has explicitly told you that she doesn’t want to be involved in the minutiae of wedding planning, but you keep on returning to that. She doesn’t want it, and she’s been very, very clear about not wanting it. From day 1. You can’t have it every way, your dream ultra involved bridesmaid and your sister. Either get a different bridesmaid, who wants to be involved in the minutiae, or accept your sister for what she is: someone who doesn’t care about the details of your wedding. Not everyone is as interested in your wedding as you

I think you going to your other half’s parents for xmas is as drama-laden as your sisters: making a giant dramatic statement. It’s a drama laden challenge. And wanting to go so that you can “discuss the exciting year ahead” - no one finds it as exciting as you & you’re OP. Possibly no one as much as you do.

ETA: That isn’t meant to be mean, I just genuinely think you don’t get that hardly anyone cares about your wedding as much as you do. And that hardly anyone wants to be involved in the minute details. Your sister’s don’t, and have told you this repeatedly, but yet you keep coming back for more with them - and creating more drama. Theres a crowd of you in the drama tbh. You going to his folks is a dramatic snub to your parents & siblings, and putting it up to your sisters, and you aren’t behaving any better than them.

You are getting married. Being married to the love of your life. Why are you making it a competition of drama with your siblings? I feel sorry for your parents tbh. Surely a wedding should be a time of joy, focused on the future. Not a stand-off of ‘why don’t people want to be supremely involved in my wedding’

Funnyonion79

I think you said you’re having 4 bridesmaids..? I would bring my other two bridesmaids dress shopping etc and just hand my sisters the dresses and tell them this is what you’ll be wearing.

I would chatter away about the wedding whenever I wanted and act excited and happy about the whole thing - fake it til you make it.

You cannot change your sisters but you can change your reactions to their behavior. Ignore them and how they are feeling about everything - it’s of no consequence to you. If they’re not happy from here on in - that’s tough. They can be the ones to pull out of being your bridesmaids and the blame will fall squarely on their shoulders.

Move your other two friends Centre stage in the bridesmaid department - ask them and your Mam to help you choose your dress and theirs and ask them to help you organise your hen. Don’t involve your sisters - if they don’t want to be consulted, then don’t. Tell them what’s happening on a need to know basis. Let your other bridesmaids text them the details about the hen etc.

This is the way it is. You know how they are and how they are going to be so just find a way to make yourself happy despite it and ignore their behavior. What will be will be. You cannot control them or their behavior so let it go and rise above them. They are the ones being difficult, not you and everyone will see that x

Bacchus

qwerty13 wrote: »

I seem to be majorly at odds with everyone else, but I think you are very much contributing to the drama:

Your sister has explicitly told you that she doesn’t want to be involved in the minutiae of wedding planning, but you keep on returning to that. She doesn’t want it, and she’s been very, very clear about not wanting it. From day 1. You can’t have it every way, your dream ultra involved bridesmaid and your sister. Either get a different bridesmaid, who wants to be involved in the minutiae, or accept your sister for what she is: someone who doesn’t care about the details of your wedding. Not everyone is as interested in your wedding as you

I think you going to your other half’s parents for xmas is as drama-laden as your sisters: making a giant dramatic statement. It’s a drama laden challenge. And wanting to go so that you can “discuss the exciting year ahead” - no one finds it as exciting as you & you’re OP. Possibly no one as much as you do.

ETA: That isn’t meant to be mean, I just genuinely think you don’t get that hardly anyone cares about your wedding as much as you do. And that hardly anyone wants to be involved in the minute details. Your sister’s don’t, and have told you this repeatedly, but yet you keep coming back for more with them - and creating more drama. Theres a crowd of you in the drama tbh. You going to his folks is a dramatic snub to your parents & siblings, and putting it up to your sisters, and you aren’t behaving any better than them.

You are getting married. Being married to the love of your life. Why are you making it a competition of drama with your siblings? I feel sorry for your parents tbh. Surely a wedding should be a time of joy, focused on the future. Not a stand-off of ‘why don’t people want to be supremely involved in my wedding’

I get the strong impression that you haven't actually read the entire thread.

Key giveaways...

"You can’t have it every way, your dream ultra involved bridesmaid and your sister." I think the OP would take having just a sister that was civil at this point.

"I think you going to your other half’s parents for xmas is as drama-laden as your sisters". No, she's trying to avoid the drama because her sisters have made the situation so uncomfortable and stressful for her.

"Why are you making it a competition of drama with your siblings?". Again, no. The sisters are the ones who started all the nonsense about it clashing with their 27th and 33rd birthday parties (clearly milestones in their lives).

"Not a stand-off of 'why don’t people want to be supremely involved in my wedding'". The OP has never spoken like this is what she wants. She's even caved to her sisters demands on not even MENTIONING the wedding in her presence. That's the complete other end of the spectrum to what you are describing.

GingerLily

I honestly think everyone here is acting ridiculous. I just feel sorry for the groom, this is all about the bride and her family, why can't it be about the happy couple?

I would seriously consider eloping OP if I were you, start your marriage out the right way.

pooch90

I know there's many details to address but I just want to give you my experience.
OH had his brother as Best Man, the whole way through he acted like a spoilt little sh**. Craving all the attention as 'brother of the groom' and BM.
He resigned as BM as OH didn't want the type of stag he wanted to organise (ie a piss up with lads being lads-which is not how OH is at all) He even squared up to hubby on a night out over it and caused a massive row in the family because hubby was being so inconsiderate??
Coming up to the stag, he literally organised nothing, no food, no allocation of rooms, nothing! He didn't even text the friends until about 2 weeks before, despite it being arranged months in advance. At the stag, he was almost in a fist fight and almost got them all thrown out of the hotel.
He argued with all my bridesmaids, called them names etc before the wedding and even had a row with my brother.

I WISH I'd had the fight with him beforehand because all we heard after the wedding was how everyone was horrible to him and that obviously I had told everyone to do so. Huge family fight for months and months and even OH's mother didn't talk to us.

In short-eat the face off the little bitch and tell her to do what she pleases but your wedding is yours and don't bow down to her BS, do it now and put her firmly in her place before she actually ruins the wedding day.

DeltaWhite

Good god the actual trauma those sisters of yours are causing.

I come from a family of all boys and i feel even more grateful for them now after reading this thread.

It must really hurt how they've treated you even before this wedding but I honestly don't know how you've kept your tongue this whole time. I would have ripped the head off the younger one. What an absolute drama queen and agree with another poster, she was clearly rared as a spoilt little brat.

This will be hard for you to do but you have to take back full control. I would not even entertain them as bridesmaids now. No way. If my brothers ever behaved to me in a similar manner I would cut them out without a second thought. Yes the thought of a family rift is frightening but its not you who caused it. It's the self entitled behaviour of your sisters. And anyone with half a brain would see that. Let's face it no matter what you do youre going to be the bad guy to them. So easier to snip snip and cut them and their crap out of your wedding altogether!

caimitator

qwerty13 wrote: »

I seem to be majorly at odds with everyone else, but I think you are very much contributing to the drama:

Your sister has explicitly told you that she doesn’t want to be involved in the minutiae of wedding planning, but you keep on returning to that. She doesn’t want it, and she’s been very, very clear about not wanting it. From day 1. You can’t have it every way, your dream ultra involved bridesmaid and your sister. Either get a different bridesmaid, who wants to be involved in the minutiae, or accept your sister for what she is: someone who doesn’t care about the details of your wedding. Not everyone is as interested in your wedding as you

I think you going to your other half’s parents for xmas is as drama-laden as your sisters: making a giant dramatic statement. It’s a drama laden challenge. And wanting to go so that you can “discuss the exciting year ahead” - no one finds it as exciting as you & you’re OP. Possibly no one as much as you do.

ETA: That isn’t meant to be mean, I just genuinely think you don’t get that hardly anyone cares about your wedding as much as you do. And that hardly anyone wants to be involved in the minute details. Your sister’s don’t, and have told you this repeatedly, but yet you keep coming back for more with them - and creating more drama. Theres a crowd of you in the drama tbh. You going to his folks is a dramatic snub to your parents & siblings, and putting it up to your sisters, and you aren’t behaving any better than them.

You are getting married. Being married to the love of your life. Why are you making it a competition of drama with your siblings? I feel sorry for your parents tbh. Surely a wedding should be a time of joy, focused on the future. Not a stand-off of ‘why don’t people want to be supremely involved in my wedding’

I think you're majorly at odds with everyone else because your facts are erroneous; therefore, applying your opinion to incorrect facts has led you to this side of the fence.

First, I think you've missed something. From Day 1, my sister WAS willing to be very much involved with the wedding UNTIL the date became an issue. She had been involved with most things from Pinterest Boards to Bridesmaid planners to the engagement party. It was only when it was mentioned to her that the only date the venue had available was the day after her birthday. It was then she removed herself from ANYTHING wedding-related.

I do not expect anyone to be as interested in my wedding as I am. Heck, at this stage I'm sick of the thing.

Second, I don't thing spending Christmas with OH's family is a dramatic statement but I'll take it on board.

Third, there is no competition. I wanted my sisters there. I wanted them as bridesmaids. I want to be able to say to them "God this wedding stuff is a pain."

Finally, as you seem to think this is an issue, I do not want anyone to be supremely involved in my wedding. But I want to be able to say the word around them.

Fin.

GingerLily

I got married this year and laat Christmas was strictly no wedding talk because we wanted a break from it and wanted to enjoy the Christmas for what it is - could you not go a day without talking about your wedding? Visit your parents over the rest of the holidays and then talk to your hearts content about it?

I don't understand why Christmas and your wedding have to be linked? Your not getting married until August?

caimitator

GingerLily wrote: »

I got married this year and laat Christmas was strictly no wedding talk because we wanted a break from it and wanted to enjoy the Christmas for what it is - could you not go a day without talking about your wedding? Visit your parents over the rest of the holidays and then talk to your hearts content about it?

I don't understand why Christmas and your wedding have to be linked? Your not getting married until August?

People are attaching a lot of weight to this Christmas issue. I suggested spending Christmas with OH’s family because of the tension that’s in the house at the moment and the fact that I’m so angry with my sisters, not because I want to talk about my wedding.

And while you may have taken a strictly no wedding talk approach to Christmas please bear in mind that my entire planning has been strictly no wedding talk in front of my sister AT ALL. So it’s not like anyone has had to listen to it and needs a break, it hasn’t happened at all.

Right, let’s talk your wedding!

How you getting on with band, flowers, cars, etc?

Any ideas what sort of dress you want?