Wedding Planner Trouble

Bacchus

caimitator wrote: »

Sorry for the defensiveness, some people have asked that question quite rudely before and I guess the wedding stress is starting

We could definitely go ahead with the venue without her; however, it's the flowers, photographer, the coordination on the day etc that we were really hoping she would take over.

Ok, I don't what to be imposing on your decision as it has already been made but honestly if you're going to struggle to find another coordinator you like, do take some heart in the knowledge that all those jobs you've listed above are quite easy to handle. Coordination on the day will be taken care of by your photographer (a good photographer will run through the plan for the day with you in advance and help structure the day) and the venue coordinator. If you hire a florist and tell them what you want, they will do it and set everything up for you. So, while I appreciate that you would prefer to have a coordinator, don't be stressed at the prospect of not having one.

Bacchus

caimitator wrote: »

Apologies for the lack of clarity.

We paid the wedding planner's deposit at the end of June, before we found any venue/date we liked.

The contract includes, "on the day attendance and coordination, including second day arrangements." This part obviously cannot be fulfilled now. However, this is probably not enough to transform the refund into a refundable one.

I have to believe that the coordinator has been in the situation before that she was unavailable for a specific date and therefore lost a client. I mean, she's taking a deposit for something she cannot yet guarantee. You have "paid" for her, not a recommended 3rd party so to me, she is breaking the contract (though I have not seen the entire T&C's) and therefore you should be getting most (if not all) of your deposit back.

Senna

caimitator wrote: »

Haha it's not Helen, but if we do decide to go with a different wedding planner I will be sure to be on the look out for any Helens.

I suppose we'll see what solutions she comes up with before letting her go and whether we can get the deposit back.

Before I get lynched by all the Helens out there, I dont think the Helen I'm taking is still doing it, her old website is gone now, I just checked.

laotg

caimitator wrote:

I agree, would not be asking for 100% of deposit back, as she has done some work (sourcing venues and arranging viewings and attending the viewing tomorrow).

You paid someone to arrange this for you?

Do you pay a travel agent to arrange holidays for you too?

How big and elaborate is this wedding going to be? Most decent photographers, bands, venues, etc have years of experience that coordination needed is a bare minimum. In fact for my own wedding no coordination was needed. All these people knew their roles and times and locations. I'll organise your wedding if you like. Easy money.

As for being stressed a full year ahead of the occasion, I can smell disaster nearer the time.

SpillingTheTea

Quick question, are you only looking for a planner so that everything goes smoothly on the day? Usually there is a wedding coordinator that works in the hotel/venue that works with you. You could save yourself a lot of money if you used the in house coordinator

Obviously, if that's not what you're looking for then disregard

caimitator

Yeah, there's a coordinator with the venue who seems lovely. But, we're looking for a planner for the whole process unfortunately, not just the day itself.

Wile E. Coyote

Bacchus wrote: »

Ok, I don't what to be imposing on your decision as it has already been made but honestly if you're going to struggle to find another coordinator you like, do take some heart in the knowledge that all those jobs you've listed above are quite easy to handle. Coordination on the day will be taken care of by your photographer (a good photographer will run through the plan for the day with you in advance and help structure the day) and the venue coordinator. If you hire a florist and tell them what you want, they will do it and set everything up for you. So, while I appreciate that you would prefer to have a coordinator, don't be stressed at the prospect of not having one.

I'd have to agree with Bacchus here and I'm not trying to change your mind either but don't stress about not having a wedding planner and definitely don't worry about not having one on the day. The hotel coordinator and photographer will do more on the day than anyone else. Having a wedding planner might sound like it takes the stress out of things but you're still going to want to have an input in the flowers, food, type of wine served, the band, DJ, photographer etc. You'll want to check out their work for yourself before you start handing over your hard earned cash. I'm guessing when this is all done and dusted you'll wonder why you even hired her.

caimitator

Wile E. Coyote wrote: »

I'd have to agree with Bacchus here and I'm not trying to change your mind either but don't stress about not having a wedding planner and definitely don't worry about not having one on the day. The hotel coordinator and photographer will do more on the day than anyone else. Having a wedding planner might sound like it takes the stress out of things but you're still going to want to have an input in the flowers, food, type of wine served, the band, DJ, photographer etc. You'll want to check out their work for yourself before you start handing over your hard earned cash. I'm guessing when this is all done and dusted you'll wonder why you even hired her.

This may be the case, I'm not opposed to that possibility.

However, I've had friends who have had a wedding planner (as well as the venue-provided coordinator) and I've had friends who did not get one. The ones who had a wedding planner were all grateful that they had gotten one and didn't regret it. Some of the ones who didn't wished they had. We did our research before making the decision about whether we wanted to spend money on one or not.

Humour Me

Did you get your venue sorted?

Senna

You've obviously made the decision to have a planner, not sure why everyone keeps harping on about it.

caimitator

Humour Me wrote: »

Did you get your venue sorted?

Well we were ready to place the deposit on it when we realised the August Bank Holiday next year falls on my sister's birthday. We presumed that'd be OK, a good thing even. When we consulted her, she doesn't seem too impressed.

Perhaps I should start another thread about that dilemma

JaMarcusHustle

caimitator wrote:

When we consulted her

Well there's your first mistake

caimitator

JaMarcusHustle wrote: »

Well there's your first mistake

Hahahahahaha that's EXACTLY what my other half said!

So now, do we go ahead anyway, possibly with no wedding planner on the day and my sister not liking the fact that it's on her birthday?

BetsyEllen

I would go ahead with the wedding on that date!

Is it a milestone for her (30th, 40th) that she was planning a big do for?
Otherwise I can't see the problem with it and she is being a spoilt brat!

She will get over it...just go ahead with it.

I'd be delighted to attend my sisters wedding on my birthday, I can't think of a nicer way to spend it!

ETA - also, have you spoken with the wedding planner yet about getting your deposit back if you go ahead and book the venue for that date?

Ghekko

caimitator wrote: »

Hahahahahaha that's EXACTLY what my other half said!

So now, do we go ahead anyway, possibly with no wedding planner on the day and my sister not liking the fact that it's on her birthday?

Oh my good God! Let her go and jump. Is it a milestone birthday that she has already started planning a party for? If not then book your wedding and sing happy birthday to her at the reception to keep her from sulking!

Humour Me

Tell her you will organise a birthday cake on the 2nd day, or offer to get all the guests to sing happy birthday :P

Unless it is a significant birthday, I honestly don't see why it should be such a big issue. Are you and your fiancé prepared to move the wedding further back, potentially at another venue?

caimitator

Ghekko wrote: »

Oh my good God! Let her go and jump. Is it a milestone birthday that she has already started planning a party for? If not then book your wedding and sing happy birthday to her at the reception to keep her from sulking!

It'll be her 32nd

We're now talking about inviting a load of her friends up for the 2nd day and make it more about her.

I actually sound insane. Apologies!

caimitator

Humour Me wrote: »

Tell her you will organise a birthday cake on the 2nd day, or offer to get all the guests to sing happy birthday :P

Unless it is a significant birthday, I honestly don't see why it should be such a big issue. Are you and your fiancé prepared to move the wedding further back, potentially at another venue?

He's not. I guess because it's my family I'm a bit like "Should we move it?"

If situation were reversed, I wouldn't have said that I wasn't impressed or that it isn't ideal I would have been all for it.

Such bizarre behaviour.

Or are all these just omens??? (I joke)

GingerLily

caimitator wrote: »

It'll be her 32nd

We're now talking about inviting a load of her friends up for the 2nd day and make it more about her.

I actually sound insane. Apologies!

I didn't know people had 32nd birthday parties! What's her plan for her 31st birthday?
Anything more than 4 friends is taking the p!ss

Humour Me

caimitator wrote: »

He's not.

That's your answer. There are going to be so many things people are going to have an opinion on from now until the wedding, you won't make everyone happy so the two of you need to decide what is best for you. Start as you mean to go on

scarepanda

I can understand where your coming from op, but I think by agreeing to this your opening yourself up for a world of trouble.

Like, how many friends will she want invited? Will your guests hang around if they know its a birthday get together for your sister or will they feck off because they might feel in the way and that it's a family gathering? Who will pay for it? Will your sister agree for her birthday celebrations to be held in whatever location your self and your fiancé want?

And also, what will you say or do when your mother (just for arguments sake) decides that her uncle Tom's wife's sisters daughter who you met when you were 3 should be invited to the wedding? People have so many opinions about what should and shouldn't happen when it comes to organising a wedding it's ridiculous tbh. Don't open yourself up for more hassle and stress.

tuisginideach

A 32nd birthday???? I've heard it all!

caimitator

scarepanda wrote: »

I can understand where your coming from op, but I think by agreeing to this your opening yourself up for a world of trouble.

Like, how many friends will she want invited? Will your guests hang around if they know its a birthday get together for your sister or will they feck off because they might feel in the way and that it's a family gathering? Who will pay for it? Will your sister agree for her birthday celebrations to be held in whatever location your self and your fiancé want?

And also, what will you say or do when your mother (just for arguments sake) decides that her uncle Tom's wife's sisters daughter who you met when you were 3 should be invited to the wedding? People have so many opinions about what should and shouldn't happen when it comes to organising a wedding it's ridiculous tbh. Don't open yourself up for more hassle and stress.

So true. For the record, my parents think she's being quite petty by putting a downer on the whole thing.

So many friends said to me at the outset, "You can't make everyone happy", but jaysus I didn't think it'd start so early over something as silly as the date of the wedding.

jimd2

Obviously your sister is single and hasn't gone through a wedding experience. i dont think I would be making any concessions for a 32nd birthday.

Btw, what was the outcome with the wedding planner? Is she providing a sub for the day / giving a refund?

caimitator

jimd2 wrote: »

Obviously your sister is single and hasn't gone through a wedding experience. i dont think I would be making any concessions for a 32nd birthday.

Btw, what was the outcome with the wedding planner? Is she providing a sub for the day / giving a refund?

She has, "absolutely no worries that [her] team will be able to implement everything on the day..." However she's, "in the process of trying to move things around" in order to make herself available and should know early next week.

tuisginideach

jimd2 wrote: »

Obviously your sister is single and hasn't gone through a wedding experience. i dont think I would be making any concessions for a 32nd birthday.

Whether single, married, partnered, widowed, divorced, separated, not interested or anything else she's supposedly an adult, not a child who might have a tantrum if they didn't get recognition on their birthday.

caimitator

tuisginideach wrote: »

Whether single, married, partnered, widowed, divorced, separated, not interested or anything else she's supposedly an adult, not a child who might have a tantrum if they didn't get recognition on their birthday.

You sound very like my other half...and he's trying to be sensitive about the situation!

tuisginideach

My brother was married on my 18th birthday - it was a great day for all of us and I felt privileged that they chose my birthday as their wedding day.



P.S> The marriage didn't last .

caimitator

tuisginideach wrote: »

My brother was married on my 18th birthday - it was a great day for all of us and I felt privileged that they chose my birthday as their wedding day.



P.S> The marriage didn't last .

Hahaha, see above! It could be an omen!!!

Ghekko

If I were you I'd say no more about it to anyone and book it. Once it's booked and deposit is paid then tell the family. After that don't tell anyone anything as someone will always have an opinion.