That time of year again

Cerisepink

The Talking Bread wrote: »

Maybe if you can ask your friends and family they can give you their personal reasons and you can begin to understand what it means to them.

I genuinely think this thread is just a means of letting out some faux outrage/irritation/ignorance by you anyway and you can't be so naive to realise the benefit of spreading the awareness of the campaign on social media.

Hopefully not anyway.

I already said countless times that I can see the benefits of it. It's the hypocrisy that's bothering me. Someone said the t-shirts say something on them about self harm? I didn't even know that because all I see is head shots.

The Talking Bread

Cerisepink wrote: »

Strong irony taking a picture of yourself in a yellow t-shirt but ignoring the poor people who ask for help.

Most of the people at these events have experience of the issues that the event highlights. I am pretty sure they have great empathy for people who require help.

The people in "yellow t-shirts" are people who have raised funds for helping the"poor people who ask for help"??

Were you out there last night. Do you go out and raise funds for these "poor people"

Jesus, are you that ignorant to the whole event!!!

Cerisepink

The Talking Bread wrote: »

Most of the people at these events have experience of the issues that the event highlights. I am pretty sure they have great empathy to people who require help.

The people in "yellow t-shirts" are people who have raised funds for helping the"poor people who ask for help"??

Were you out there last night. Do you go out and raise funds for these "poor people"

Jesus, are you that ignorant to the whole event!!!

I know i would be there for people if they asked me for help, people who know me know they can talk to me. I do my bit. And yes I am ignorant to the whole event, I admit that, I can't see behind the selfies! Literally! I can't even see what's wrote on the t-shirts!

retro:electro

weldoninhio wrote: »

The poster I replied to had zero understanding of it.

You don't get to dismiss my experiences just because they don't correlate with yours. That tells me that you are the one who has zero understanding.

The Talking Bread

Cerisepink wrote: »

I know i would be there for people if they asked me for help, people who know me know they can talk to me. I do my bit. And yes I am ignorant to the whole event, I admit that, I can't see behind the selfies! Literally! I can't even see what's wrote on the t-shirts!

I don't think you actually know what your reason for starting this thread is to be honest beyond sparking a bit of faux irritation!

The yellow t-shirts are symbolic attire to represent the event. Think of them as team jerseys. Why you want to indulge in someones personal experience by reading their t-shirt I don't know?

Most of them had names of victims or photos of victims that are close to them.

You are merely running out of reasons as to why you are supposedly bewildered by all this!
So it backs up my thinking that you only started this thread to moan about selfies or even probably just to moan!

bee06

Cerisepink wrote: »

I know i would be there for people if they asked me for help, people who know me know they can talk to me. I do my bit. And yes I am ignorant to the whole event, I admit that, I can't see behind the selfies! Literally! I can't even see what's wrote on the t-shirts!

Maybe next year you should so and find out what it's all about?

Cerisepink

koumi wrote: »

I'm glad the OP started the thread, and asked all the questions they asked because otherwise I wouldn't have known, not just about the event but about other peoples stories and how their lives have been touched by it. I was sitting down feeling crappy for having pulled up a baby tree today and I read this thread and tears started to flow. I'm sorry for the struggles that people have had to go through and for their losses and I'm moved by the willingness of others to do something about it. If you've contributed to this thread at all take a bow.

Awh I'm so sorry the thread made you cry!! I honestly didn't set out to upset anyone, and the thread probably did start out as a bit of a facebook "moan" but I too have enjoyed hearing the positives!

Ps sorry to hear about your tree

Imallrightjack

xzanti wrote: »

Miserable git.

Shouldn't you be banned for that calling someone that or can you not be because your a mod?

Promenade

Fighting Tao wrote: »

I think it's more "selfies against suicide and we're here for you, with you".

Fully agree with anyone who praises Pieta House - doing great work. Also know a few people who participated in the walk and they are all genuinely great people - fair play to anyone who did it (I didn't).

However, it is a bit naive to assume that when people take pictures of themselves and post them online, they are doing it to raise awareness of the charity as opposed to hoping people will compliment them on their own altruism (I believe "fishing for likes" is the phrase).

It's no different to when a celebrity makes a large donation to a charitable cause but does it publicly as opposed to anonymously. It is still great for the charity of course, but a little bit unsettling that people refuse to acknowledge the self promotional aspect to it.

Positives outweigh the negatives of course, but still.

koumi

Cerisepink wrote: »

Awh I'm so sorry the thread made you cry!! I honestly didn't set out to upset anyone, and the thread probably did start out as a bit of a facebook "moan" but I too have enjoyed hearing the positives!

Ps sorry to hear about your tree

It's ok, when the goodness in other people makes you cry it's not a bad thing. I definitely feel better for reading this thread. I don't get to see selfies either because I'm not on social media, those things means nothing to me but if this discussion is anything to go by well done for bringing the darkness out into the light here on boards. (and to all those involved)

Cerisepink

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I don't have a Facebook account because I couldn't deal with all the self indulgent nonsense. Selfies included.

Having said that OP I see nothing really wrong with selfies in this instance. In fact I think they have their place. It's not all that long ago that mental health issues and suicide were only uttered in whispers. My grandmother, for example, would 'take to the bed' for a day with 'her nerves' and then have to drag herself out the next day and pretend all was well. She had severe depression but that was something to be ashamed of.

I think people unashamedly posing like 'check me out' and being immensely proud of their tiny part in suicide prevention and awareness can only be a good step towards making it a societal norm to openly talk about these things. Because unfortunately there are still a lot of people of all age groups too embarrassed and ashamed to tell someone they need help.

I work with vulnerable children and suicide comes up too often and yet not often enough.

Thank you for this reply! I love this post. I agree with a lot of what you said especially about the taboo that still does surround mental health. It's the saddest thing in the world to feel like you can't be honest about how you feel. I'm all for changing that taboo and I do hope you are right about the selfies having their place in changing that but I still feel there should be more done. But I guess at the end of the day any awareness is good awareness and that is all that matters at the end of the day but I just hope these people on the walk will back up what their portraying online when someone asks them for help.

Westernyelp

CoolHandBandit wrote:

It's all about attention seeking. I'm not on facebook but if i was i'd put a picture of myself sound asleep in my bed at 4am this morning.

How would you take it?

retro:electro

What I've learned from this thread is that everyone's experiences with mental health are different. You can't box these people in together or force them all into the one bracket- equally you can't dismiss one person's experience with what they know to be mental health just because it doesn't correlate with your own. This morning when I saw all the selfies I did do a little eye roll. I thought for god's sake can you just leave the phone at home. But tbh, who am I to judge. They were up doing something good for society, while I was tucked up in bed sleeping. I feel bad now. I may even like a few of the photos on Facebook to ease my guilt! :pac:

Cerisepink

anna080 wrote: »

What I've learned from this thread is that everyone's experiences with mental health are different. You can't box these people in together or force them all into the one bracket- equally you can't dismiss one person's experience with what they know to be mental health just because it doesn't correlate with your own. This morning when I saw all the selfies I did do a little eye roll. I thought for god's sake can you just leave the phone at home. But tbh, who am I to judge. They were up doing something good for society, while I was tucked up in bed sleeping. I feel bad now. I may even like a few of the photos on Facebook to ease my guilt! :pac:

Anna this sums everything up perfectly! I feel the exact same although I think I'll stay off Facebook for today or you know, for ever

snowflaker

There is certainly attention seeking, not sure its from DIL walkers though...

Cerisepink

Cerisepink wrote: »

Thank you for this reply! I love this post. I agree with a lot of what you said especially about the taboo that still does surround mental health. It's the saddest thing in the world to feel like you can't be honest about how you feel. I'm all for changing that taboo and I do hope you are right about the selfies having their place in changing that but I still feel there should be more done. But I guess at the end of the day any awareness is good awareness and that is all that matters at the end of the day but I just hope these people on the walk will back up what their portraying online when someone asks them for help.

If you are interested in furthering your own awareness of suicide and it's prevention you can check this out
http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/Mental_Health_Services/NOSP/Training/

At that link you'll find an option to do an online programme where you can find out more about issues relating to suicide.

You'll also be able to read about the SAFE talk training they do (Suicide Awareness For Everyone) and the ASIST training (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) where you can also learn more about the reasons behind suicide and how to appropriately intervene if you think someone may be suicidal.

I personally found the ASIST training extremely helpful. Its only a couple of days and very intense but very important IMO and open to anyone.
It may perhaps be very helpful for you if you did want some guidance in how best to approach the friend you mentioned who's going through a hard time and not getting helpful responses online.

Robsweezie

It appears your issue is more with the facebook element than the event itself, which is understandable.

There will be always be the selfie airheads and egotists will take any event or cause as a vanity exercise. And some have a genuine emotional investment in this. The sense of camaraderie of thousands is breathtaking. I was at it last night, the atmosphere...the lights...the sounds...believe me. It's fuucking beautiful. Well organised, and an amazing concept.

Cerisepink

[Deleted User] wrote: »

If you are interested in furthering your own awareness of suicide and it's prevention you can check this out
http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/Mental_Health_Services/NOSP/Training/

At that link you'll find an option to do an online programme where you can find out more about issues relating to suicide.

You'll also be able to read about the SAFE talk training they do (Suicide Awareness For Everyone) and the ASIST training (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) where you can also learn more about the reasons behind suicide and how to appropriately intervene if you think someone may be suicidal.

I personally found the ASIST training extremely helpful. Its only a couple of days and very intense but very important IMO and open to anyone.
It may perhaps be very helpful for you if you did want some guidance in how best to approach the friend you mentioned who's going through a hard time and not getting helpful responses online.

Thank you for the tips I've actually had lectures in college on suicide as it's related to my studies but it was only a few lectures and the lecturer even said it was okay if people wanted to leave during it so it's obviously still a very hard topic for people to discuss. The ASIST training sounds like a great way to raise awareness.

With regards to my friend I think you are right , I was thinking of sending him a message and telling him that Facebook is the last place he should look for help but to be honest I'm not sure what type of response I would get in return.

weldoninhio

Kassidy Fierce Bongo wrote: »

Yes.

They are absolute hypocrites and scumbags then. But if you ever do need help or want to talk I'd be more than happy to help if you wanted to PM me.

Phil Mitchell

I find the thing a bit cringey at this stage.

Good on them for raising money and stuff but "HOPE" spelled out in fairy candles candles becomes a bit tiresome now.

I also think the whole "awareness" and understanding thing has gone way too far. There are people using mental health reasons to try and get away with really ****ty behaviour.

I have lost count of the amount of times I have heard that something like a book/tv series/film/programme should be on the school curriculum. If it was up to some of these self promoting kooks, the whole school curriculum would be about mental health. Its as if they are trying to talk the kids into depression.

koumi

Cerisepink wrote: »

Thank you for the tips I've actually had lectures in college on suicide as it's related to my studies but it was only a few lectures and the lecturer even said it was okay if people wanted to leave during it so it's obviously still a very hard topic for people to discuss. The ASIST training sounds like a great way to raise awareness.

With regards to my friend I think you are right , I was thinking of sending him a message and telling him that Facebook is the last place he should look for help but to be honest I'm not sure what type of response I would get in return.

I'm no expert but I would think FB would be the last place anyone would find help. I hear the point you are making and I would second the advice above, my daughter also trained in the safe talk program through college and knowing how much my illness was affecting her life, enough to make her feel she needed help, was enough to make me go and get help. We have both been through counselling since and definitely more determined to make things better. (I had been to my doctor for years asking for some but had never offered assistance in any form, being unemployed I ended up borrowing a large sum of money to get professional assistance, so understandably people may say that help is there when really the journey to getting it is often a struggle in itself)

Rather than having all these sorts of anti-suicide/depression charities, wouldn't it be better for us all to ask why it is that it is so common nowadays but wasn't in the past? And it really wasn't as common, even accounting for catholic church cover up etc. Personally I find it ironic that people ruthlessly compete with each other in school, college and then the jobs market and workplace for the highest status positions in our modern capitalist economy and then when they come up good as a result of their hard work or luck they broadcast their lives on social media, leaving less popular or good looking or successful people in no doubt what their worth in the eyes of others actually is. And then when those who end up occupying the bottom places kill themselves the rest all start saying "isn't it terrible, something must be done". In reality we are all making each other depressed by striving to secure high social status for ourselves in our individualistic western lives and "screw everyone else" until we are comfortable in our own position. Our lives don't take place in a vacuum, one persons perceived success means anothers perceived sense of failure. Life in the not too distant past was harder in a material sense but was less socially competitive. Meritocracy and an emphasis on the worth of the individual has it's dark side.

And having access to unlimited constant depressing information via the internet from a young age has got to be having a negative impact on peoples mental health all else being equal.

I am not suggesting the above accounts for every situation where a person is depressed or kills themselves but it is conceivably making life more depressing for people in general.

koumi

Deleted User wrote: »

Rather than having all these sorts of anti-suicide/depression charities, wouldn't it be better for us all to ask why it is that it is so common nowadays but wasn't in the past? And it really wasn't as common, even accounting for catholic church cover up etc. Personally I find it ironic that people ruthlessly compete with each other in school, college and then the jobs market and workplace for the highest status positions in our modern capitalist economy and then when they come up good as a result of their hard work or luck they broadcast their lives on social media, leaving less popular or good looking or successful people in no doubt what their worth in the eyes of others actually is. And then when those who end up occupying the bottom places kill themselves the rest all start saying "isn't it terrible, something must be done". In reality we are all making each other depressed by striving to secure high social status for ourselves in our individualistic western lives and "screw everyone else" until we are comfortable in our own position. Our lives don't take place in a vacuum, one persons perceived success means anothers perceived sense of failure. Life in the not too distant past was harder in a material sense but was less socially competitive. Meritocracy and an emphasis on the worth of the individual has it's dark side.

And having access to unlimited constant depressing information via the internet from a young age has got to be having a negative impact on peoples mental health all else being equal.

I am not suggesting the above accounts for every situation where a person is depressed or kills themselves but it is conceivably making life more depressing for people in general.

well, you could look at it one way and consider it Darwinian and that those who die off are the weakest of the herd. Or you could ask yourself where the herd is going. I honestly haven't a clue but I think it's somewhere bad.

Cerisepink

Ciderswigger wrote: »

This is Boards. You're always going to have people disagree with you! I wouldn't go so far as saying this thread is being attacked.

So you don't feel that being called a "miserable git" and being told to quote "get ****ed" isn't being attacked? I know I haven't been on boards very long but even I know that there is a way to respectfully disagree with someones opinion rather than being down right nasty.

Cerisepink

I honestly haven't a clue but I think it's somewhere bad.[/QUOTE]

This makes sense,as does the post above that asks why we have more of a suicide problem now than in the past. Someone here said I was just being negative but honestly I think we as people are drawn to negativity, we love it for some crazy reason! That needs to change too. I've just heard on the news that there are 10 deaths per week in Ireland to suicide. Why is all this awareness not working? Maybe ignorance is bliss.

Richard Hillman

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Rather than having all these sorts of anti-suicide/depression charities, wouldn't it be better for us all to ask why it is that it is so common nowadays but wasn't in the past? And it really wasn't as common, even accounting for catholic church cover up etc. Personally I find it ironic that people ruthlessly compete with each other in school, college and then the jobs market and workplace for the highest status positions in our modern capitalist economy and then when they come up good as a result of their hard work or luck they broadcast their lives on social media, leaving less popular or good looking or successful people in no doubt what their worth in the eyes of others actually is. And then when those who end up occupying the bottom places kill themselves the rest all start saying "isn't it terrible, something must be done". In reality we are all making each other depressed by striving to secure high social status for ourselves in our individualistic western lives and "screw everyone else" until we are comfortable in our own position. Our lives don't take place in a vacuum, one persons perceived success means anothers perceived sense of failure. Life in the not too distant past was harder in a material sense but was less socially competitive. Meritocracy and an emphasis on the worth of the individual has it's dark side.

And having access to unlimited constant depressing information via the internet from a young age has got to be having a negative impact on peoples mental health all else being equal.

I am not suggesting the above accounts for every situation where a person is depressed or kills themselves but it is conceivably making life more depressing for people in general.

Sounds to me like you are suggesting communism.

Richard Hillman

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Sounds to me like you are suggesting communism.

Definitley not. But if we are serious about actually reaching a stage in the future where suicide and depression rates are much lower, a first step is working out just what is it about nowdays that has so many people depressed compared to the past. Then at least we can try to tweak our attitudes and behaviour a bit to make life a bit less depressing for each other. A persons mental state at a given time is the result of a long personal sequence of events and thoughts so the causes of one person being depressed will not be the exact same as another person, but I believe on a societal level factors that impinge on us all or most of us can have an impact on a lot of peoples mental health.

livedadream

I'm not sure if it's been covered but it was started by a couple who used the services of pieta house after they lost one son to cancer and another to suicide in the space of 18 months.
The father used to train athletics and thought it would be a good idea to get people together raise some money and show them that there is a light at the end of the dark... ''even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise''
I have no problem with people posting selfies on Facebook or snapchat etc it's a personal preference but whatever helps.
For some people it's a social event for other it's one day a year (like another poster said much more elequently) where people who have suffered through a horrible illness and or lost a friend or family member can get together and try to change things for someone else

Daisy78

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Rather than having all these sorts of anti-suicide/depression charities, wouldn't it be better for us all to ask why it is that it is so common nowadays but wasn't in the past? And it really wasn't as common, even accounting for catholic church cover up etc. Personally I find it ironic that people ruthlessly compete with each other in school, college and then the jobs market and workplace for the highest status positions in our modern capitalist economy and then when they come up good as a result of their hard work or luck they broadcast their lives on social media, leaving less popular or good looking or successful people in no doubt what their worth in the eyes of others actually is. And then when those who end up occupying the bottom places kill themselves the rest all start saying "isn't it terrible, something must be done". In reality we are all making each other depressed by striving to secure high social status for ourselves in our individualistic western lives and "screw everyone else" until we are comfortable in our own position. Our lives don't take place in a vacuum, one persons perceived success means anothers perceived sense of failure. Life in the not too distant past was harder in a material sense but was less socially competitive. Meritocracy and an emphasis on the worth of the individual has it's dark side.

And having access to unlimited constant depressing information via the internet from a young age has got to be having a negative impact on peoples mental health all else being equal.

I am not suggesting the above accounts for every situation where a person is depressed or kills themselves but it is conceivably making life more depressing for people in general.

I totally agree. There is a very short but interesting article on The School of Life website on why suicide is more prevalent in western societies than in poorer less developed countries which you would reasonably consider to be counter intuitive. As countries develop they tend to attribute success more to individual qualities and personal control with a reduced emphasis on the workings of a higher being. If our success is all down to our own efforts then nobody else can be blamed for when things go wrong, when we lose a job,a lack of romantic success, poor education, etc. Luck or the lack of it is not considered. It is societies reaction to a perceived lack of success which is the problem, placing the burden on the individual for their circumstances rather than allowing for the fact that a lot of it is down to bad luck.

Daisy78

Daisy78 wrote: »

I totally agree. There is a very short but interesting article on The School of Life website on why suicide is more prevalent in western societies than in poorer less developed countries which you would reasonably consider to be counter intuitive. As countries develop they tend to attribute success more to individual qualities and personal control with a reduced emphasis on the workings of a higher being. If our success is all down to our own efforts then nobody else can be blamed for when things go wrong, when we lose a job,a lack of romantic success, poor education, etc. Luck or the lack of it is not considered. It is societies reaction to a perceived lack of success which is the problem, placing the burden on the individual for their circumstances rather than allowing for the fact that a lot of it is down to bad luck.

That's a great youtube channel for helping you see the wood from the trees in relation to understanding the world, human nature, things that trouble us all etc. We grow up thinking the culture we grow up in is the default culture when in reality it could be the exception in historical and geographical terms and could have lots of features which contribute to high levels of unhappiness.

A significant example of a feature of our way of life nowadays which I believe contributes to peoples unhappiness is how two parents often need to work nowadays to pay for a house and keep the family's head above water where in the past it could be done on one income - this leads to children being put in a creche and so money is needed for childcare and the children get less time spent with their parents, working parents lives being more hectic, women having children later, women who do stay at home to mind the kids feeling less than those who work, house prices continuing to stay high, rents then being high, increased competition among young people to secure to kinds of jobs which will pay them enough to be able to beat the suffocating system of high costs and taxes etc. There are lots of knock-on effects to changes in society which only become felt as time passes.