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That time of year again

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    #92
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Where are these people if I need help? Can I call them? Most of them wouldn't even say hello if I met them in the street. So hell no I can't see it.

    Have you no friends that did the walk? Family?


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    #93
    Fighting Tao
    Registered Users Posts: 6,484 ✭✭✭Fighting Tao


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Where are these people if I need help? Can I call them? Most of them wouldn't even say hello if I met them in the street. So hell no I can't see it.

    If they are not your friends then un-friend them on Facebook.


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    #94
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,991 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Maybe "not the right way to deal with it" wasn't the right words to use. I honestly can see the beauty in walking into the darkness it's a lovely symbol and I hope it does do alot of good and help break taboo. And honestly I don't know what the right way to deal with it is but I still don't think a selfie of someone is going to help. It's the simple things in life, be a bit kinder to people, be open and sensitive, point people in the right direction.

    Well, from another perspective then. If a selfies can't help, does it do harm? Does it hurt to let other people know what you've done? You say you use fb to keep in touch with people and let them know what you're up to. Are others not allowed use fb for the same purpose?


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    #95
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    weldoninhio wrote: »
    What's that got to do with your understanding of mental health issues?? You stated that anyone you know wouldn't be able to go to the shops, never mind a walk and some people including your father died by suicide, which I am incredibly sorry for, but that doesn't give you an inherent understanding of mental health. So you may have a limited experience of it, but you also seem to have a limited understanding of it too. It's not a bad thing, it's just your consequences have shown you a narrow vision of it. I shouldn't have said zero understanding, I'm sorry for that.

    Eh, I never said I've an inherent understanding of it. Quite the opposite actually- I'll never understand it, ever. I was literally giving an anecdotal reply to a poster who mentioned something about sufferers taking part, which you've then taken as some sort of general response and have assumed I'm throwing everyone who suffers with mental health in the same bracket. I'm not.
    For you then to dismiss that and tell me I've no clue about mental health, why? Because my experience doesn't fit with what you consider mental health issues? It would seem that you are the one who has no clue.


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    #96
    Cerisepink
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    weldoninhio wrote: »
    Have you no friends that did the walk? Family?

    I do but that's besides the point.


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    #97
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I don't have a Facebook account because I couldn't deal with all the self indulgent nonsense. Selfies included.

    Having said that OP I see nothing really wrong with selfies in this instance. In fact I think they have their place. It's not all that long ago that mental health issues and suicide were only uttered in whispers. My grandmother, for example, would 'take to the bed' for a day with 'her nerves' and then have to drag herself out the next day and pretend all was well. She had severe depression but that was something to be ashamed of.

    I think people unashamedly posing like 'check me out' and being immensely proud of their tiny part in suicide prevention and awareness can only be a good step towards making it a societal norm to openly talk about these things. Because unfortunately there are still a lot of people of all age groups too embarrassed and ashamed to tell someone they need help.

    I work with vulnerable children and suicide comes up too often and yet not often enough.


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    #98
    Hellrazer
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 10,617 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hellrazer


    xzanti wrote: »
    It's ONE event, ONE day a year, and if it makes even ONE person feel less alone, then it's all worth it in my opinion.

    Darkness into light will bring in close to 4 million euros for pieta this year if their forecasts are right.
    That's enough money to fund all their centres giving FREE counseling to anyone that needs it 7 days a week.
    Who cares if there's a few taking selfies.Take all the f**king selfies you want.Pieta are fantastic and fill a huge hole that the government can't with regards to mental illness.

    One of the best charities hands down in this country.


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    #99
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    I do but that's besides the point.

    So that's who you go to if you need help. You know they were on the walk, you know they wouldn't be judgemental and they'd wanna help you. Sometimes you need to talk to someone close, because asking a doctor for help alone can be hard.


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    #100
    r93kaey5p2izun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    I both agree and disagree with you OP.

    I think the walk raises awareness that suicide prevention and mental health provision need proper resourcing and funding. It raises awareness of Pieta House, one of very few organisations offering quality mental health services in my experience, and is a huge source of funding to help them continue. Others here say it also provides comfort and focus for those affected by suicide and mental health difficulties - that's not my experience but obviously it's true for them.

    On the other hand I know plenty of people definitely taking part for self promotion. They really are there for the selfies and the kudos. They don't care about the cause and some of them have proven their unwillingness to be supportive, in some cases in fact causing more hassle rather than helping, when faced with a friend or relative actually looking for help and support with mental health problems.

    Ultimately though I think they are helping a good cause no matter their motives and I don't see any harm being done by any aspect of this event.


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    #101
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    It saddens me that the one thread about DIL on AH is just an argument about selfies.


    Reading and participating in the thread has made me think. I'm extremely lucky. I have a mental illness, one that will never go away. But I'm very lucky. After 10 years of absolute hell, I'm unmedicated, stable, happy and love my life. When I was in my darker days, I'd have killed to see my friends doing DIL, because then I may have felt I could talk to them.


    Moreso though, I think about the people I've lost through suicide. Several friends. All amazing, funny, intelligent, seemingly happy guys. All gone by their own hand.

    If I'd known, I'd have reached out and tried to help. They covered it so well.


    And I'm thinking, maybe, just maybe, some people will see these selfies, see that these friends got up at 3am to go for a walk in the cold, breaking their sleep, giving money to Pieta House. And maybe they'll realise they're not truly alone, they have some friends who may not understand, but will try, and will listen.



    So I hope the stupid selfies and check ins and posts with the numbers for Pieta House continue. Whatever OP or others think of them, who are we to suggest they don't help? We're (mostly) not all suicidal and desperately needing someone to talk to. Maybe those stupid selfies will help mentally ill people figure out who they can talk to if they aren't ready to seek professional help.


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    #102
    r93kaey5p2izun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    weldoninhio wrote: »
    So that's who you go to if you need help. You know they were on the walk, you know they wouldn't be judgemental and they'd wanna help you. Sometimes you need to talk to someone close, because asking a doctor for help alone can be hard.

    I think that's a naive assumption - that those attending such an event would be good people to go to for help. I know from personal experience that's not the case for many of them.


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    #103
    The Talking Bread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,050 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Really? Wow that didn't occur to me at all... Why should I? I use it to keep in touch with friends and family. You didn't answer the question.

    Maybe ask your friends and family the question why they personally do it and "flood your facebook". Don't come onto an internet forum to ask strangers why your friends and family are doing it. Seems a bit odd.


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    #104
    Cerisepink
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    Hannibal_Smith wrote: »
    Well, from another perspective then. If a selfies can't help, does it do harm? Does it hurt to let other people know what you've done? You say you use fb to keep in touch with people and let them know what you're up to. Are others not allowed use fb for the same purpose?

    Hey I'm as guilty as the next person, I don't post many selfies but I do share a lot of my travel pictures and I enjoy doing that and getting my "likes" but I don't think it causes anyone any harm. But selfies for suicide? I'm still debating if it might actually do some harm. I know it didn't make me feel good this morning when I went online so how do you know others haven't felt that way too? And I'm fully aware that's a negative belief on my part and for my own mental health I should work on that but did you read my post about a guy I'm friends with online? He needs help and is told to cop on to himself. It's not right.


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    #105
    Fighting Tao
    Registered Users Posts: 6,484 ✭✭✭Fighting Tao


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Hey I'm as guilty as the next person, I don't post many selfies but I do share a lot of my travel pictures and I enjoy doing that and getting my "likes" but I don't think it causes anyone any harm. But selfies for suicide? I'm still debating if it might actually do some harm. I know it didn't make me feel good this morning when I went online so how do you know others haven't felt that way too? And I'm fully aware that's a negative belief on my part and for my own mental health I should work on that but did you read my post about a guy I'm friends with online? He needs help and is told to cop on to himself. It's not right.

    I think it's more "selfies against suicide and we're here for you, with you".


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    #106
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Hey I'm as guilty as the next person, I don't post many selfies but I do share a lot of my travel pictures and I enjoy doing that and getting my "likes" but I don't think it causes anyone any harm. But selfies for suicide? I'm still debating if it might actually do some harm. I know it didn't make me feel good this morning when I went online so how do you know others haven't felt that way too? And I'm fully aware that's a negative belief on my part and for my own mental health I should work on that but did you read my post about a guy I'm friends with online? He needs help and is told to cop on to himself. It's not right.

    I really don't see the link between people posting selfies at a charity walk and some poor guy who is getting sh*tty comments from sh*ttier people? Are the same people doing both?


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    #107
    Cerisepink
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    The Talking Bread wrote: »
    Maybe ask your friends and family the question why they personally do it and "flood your facebook". Don't come onto an internet forum to ask strangers why your friends and family are doing it. Seems a bit odd.

    Fair point. I will ask them. But it's not just my friends and family I'm seeing pictures of. So how else can I reach them to ask? It's a thread about how and why selfies help a person who is struggling. Not that odd to be fair.


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    #108
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    Kassidy Fierce Bongo wrote: »
    I think that's a naive assumption - that those attending such an event would be good people to go to for help. I know from personal experience that's not the case for many of them.

    They aren't there for help. That's for the professionals, they are there for support.


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    #109
    r93kaey5p2izun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    bee06 wrote: »
    I really don't see the link between people posting selfies at a charity walk and some poor guy who is getting sh*tty comments from sh*ttier people? Are the same people doing both?

    Yes in my personal experience.


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    #110
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Fair point. I will ask them. But it's not just my friends and family I'm seeing pictures of. So how else can I reach them to ask? It's a thread about how and why selfies help a person who is struggling. Not that odd to be fair.

    It's not the selfies that are supposed to help. It's the money that was raised for Pieta house as a result of the walk. The selfies are incidental.


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    #111
    Cerisepink
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    bee06 wrote: »
    I really don't see the link between people posting selfies at a charity walk and some poor guy who is getting sh*tty comments from sh*ttier people? Are the same people doing both?

    Actually yes. People are saying one thing but doing another.


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    #112
    r93kaey5p2izun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    weldoninhio wrote: »
    They aren't there for help. That's for the professionals, they are there for support.

    And they gave no support - they gave judgement, verbal abuse and condemnation.


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    #113
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Actually yes. People are saying one thing but doing another.

    Well then you should really be rethinking your friendship with those people and talking to your friend who is struggling on how he can get some help.


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    #114
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    Kassidy Fierce Bongo wrote: »
    And they gave no support - they gave judgement, verbal abuse and condemnation.

    The same people who were going on DiL walks??


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    #115
    r93kaey5p2izun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    weldoninhio wrote: »
    The same people who were going on DiL walks??

    Yes.


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    #116
    The Talking Bread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,050 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Fair point. I will ask them. But it's not just my friends and family I'm seeing pictures of. So how else can I reach them to ask? It's a thread about how and why selfies help a person who is struggling. Not that odd to be fair.

    Maybe if you can ask your friends and family they can give you their personal reasons and you can begin to understand what it means to them.

    I genuinely think this thread is just a means of letting out some faux outrage/irritation/ignorance by you anyway and you can't be so naive to realise the benefit of spreading the awareness of the campaign on social media.

    Hopefully not anyway.


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    #117
    2ndcoming
    Registered Users Posts: 3,570 ✭✭✭2ndcoming


    Strong irony creating a deliberately provocative thread on Boards and complaining about attention seeking.


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    #118
    Cerisepink
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    2ndcoming wrote: »
    Strong irony creating a deliberately provocative thread on Boards and complaining about attention seeking.

    Strong irony taking a picture of yourself in a yellow t-shirt but ignoring the poor people who ask for help.


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    #119
    The Talking Bread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,050 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Fair point. I will ask them. But it's not just my friends and family I'm seeing pictures of. So how else can I reach them to ask? It's a thread about how and why selfies help a person who is struggling. Not that odd to be fair.

    Selfies are just selfies, they appear at every event, they aren't merely taken on this night. Holidays, festivals, nights out, sports events, weddings. It is clear you have a problem with selfies aspect as I don't see you with a tread about selfies and these events??.

    They aren't my scene but SELFIES are one of the most "trending" aspects of young modern society.
    They appeal to many young people and conjoining your participation in such a noble cause with an aspect of society which reaches many young people will spread the message of togetherness among young people, family, friends etc and that seeking help has broke the border of stigma.

    In a manner of words, it gives off the impression that it is perfectly cool to seek help and seeing young people, family and friends share these on your timeline may give a particular young person the courage to take action.


    How simple can it be to understand,


    Most of these people are people who have experienced suicide in family or friends or their own depression etc so their participation in such an event makes them see some light and they want to share that with their family/friends.


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    #120
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,437 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Strong irony taking a picture of yourself in a yellow t-shirt but ignoring the poor people who ask for help.

    Who have you asked for help and subsequently ignored you?


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    #121
    koumi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭koumi


    I'm glad the OP started the thread, and asked all the questions they asked because otherwise I wouldn't have known, not just about the event but about other peoples stories and how their lives have been touched by it. I was sitting down feeling crappy for having pulled up a baby tree today and I read this thread and tears started to flow. I'm sorry for the struggles that people have had to go through and for their losses and I'm moved by the willingness of others to do something about it. If you've contributed to this thread at all take a bow.


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