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That time of year again

13

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    So that's who you go to if you need help. You know they were on the walk, you know they wouldn't be judgemental and they'd wanna help you. Sometimes you need to talk to someone close, because asking a doctor for help alone can be hard.

    I think that's a naive assumption - that those attending such an event would be good people to go to for help. I know from personal experience that's not the case for many of them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,050 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Really? Wow that didn't occur to me at all... Why should I? I use it to keep in touch with friends and family. You didn't answer the question.

    Maybe ask your friends and family the question why they personally do it and "flood your facebook". Don't come onto an internet forum to ask strangers why your friends and family are doing it. Seems a bit odd.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    Well, from another perspective then. If a selfies can't help, does it do harm? Does it hurt to let other people know what you've done? You say you use fb to keep in touch with people and let them know what you're up to. Are others not allowed use fb for the same purpose?

    Hey I'm as guilty as the next person, I don't post many selfies but I do share a lot of my travel pictures and I enjoy doing that and getting my "likes" but I don't think it causes anyone any harm. But selfies for suicide? I'm still debating if it might actually do some harm. I know it didn't make me feel good this morning when I went online so how do you know others haven't felt that way too? And I'm fully aware that's a negative belief on my part and for my own mental health I should work on that but did you read my post about a guy I'm friends with online? He needs help and is told to cop on to himself. It's not right.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,488 ✭✭✭Fighting Tao


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Hey I'm as guilty as the next person, I don't post many selfies but I do share a lot of my travel pictures and I enjoy doing that and getting my "likes" but I don't think it causes anyone any harm. But selfies for suicide? I'm still debating if it might actually do some harm. I know it didn't make me feel good this morning when I went online so how do you know others haven't felt that way too? And I'm fully aware that's a negative belief on my part and for my own mental health I should work on that but did you read my post about a guy I'm friends with online? He needs help and is told to cop on to himself. It's not right.

    I think it's more "selfies against suicide and we're here for you, with you".


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Hey I'm as guilty as the next person, I don't post many selfies but I do share a lot of my travel pictures and I enjoy doing that and getting my "likes" but I don't think it causes anyone any harm. But selfies for suicide? I'm still debating if it might actually do some harm. I know it didn't make me feel good this morning when I went online so how do you know others haven't felt that way too? And I'm fully aware that's a negative belief on my part and for my own mental health I should work on that but did you read my post about a guy I'm friends with online? He needs help and is told to cop on to himself. It's not right.

    I really don't see the link between people posting selfies at a charity walk and some poor guy who is getting sh*tty comments from sh*ttier people? Are the same people doing both?


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    Maybe ask your friends and family the question why they personally do it and "flood your facebook". Don't come onto an internet forum to ask strangers why your friends and family are doing it. Seems a bit odd.

    Fair point. I will ask them. But it's not just my friends and family I'm seeing pictures of. So how else can I reach them to ask? It's a thread about how and why selfies help a person who is struggling. Not that odd to be fair.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    I think that's a naive assumption - that those attending such an event would be good people to go to for help. I know from personal experience that's not the case for many of them.

    They aren't there for help. That's for the professionals, they are there for support.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    bee06 wrote: »
    I really don't see the link between people posting selfies at a charity walk and some poor guy who is getting sh*tty comments from sh*ttier people? Are the same people doing both?

    Yes in my personal experience.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Fair point. I will ask them. But it's not just my friends and family I'm seeing pictures of. So how else can I reach them to ask? It's a thread about how and why selfies help a person who is struggling. Not that odd to be fair.

    It's not the selfies that are supposed to help. It's the money that was raised for Pieta house as a result of the walk. The selfies are incidental.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    bee06 wrote: »
    I really don't see the link between people posting selfies at a charity walk and some poor guy who is getting sh*tty comments from sh*ttier people? Are the same people doing both?

    Actually yes. People are saying one thing but doing another.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    They aren't there for help. That's for the professionals, they are there for support.

    And they gave no support - they gave judgement, verbal abuse and condemnation.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Actually yes. People are saying one thing but doing another.

    Well then you should really be rethinking your friendship with those people and talking to your friend who is struggling on how he can get some help.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    And they gave no support - they gave judgement, verbal abuse and condemnation.

    The same people who were going on DiL walks??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    The same people who were going on DiL walks??

    Yes.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,050 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Fair point. I will ask them. But it's not just my friends and family I'm seeing pictures of. So how else can I reach them to ask? It's a thread about how and why selfies help a person who is struggling. Not that odd to be fair.

    Maybe if you can ask your friends and family they can give you their personal reasons and you can begin to understand what it means to them.

    I genuinely think this thread is just a means of letting out some faux outrage/irritation/ignorance by you anyway and you can't be so naive to realise the benefit of spreading the awareness of the campaign on social media.

    Hopefully not anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,578 ✭✭✭2ndcoming


    Strong irony creating a deliberately provocative thread on Boards and complaining about attention seeking.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    2ndcoming wrote: »
    Strong irony creating a deliberately provocative thread on Boards and complaining about attention seeking.

    Strong irony taking a picture of yourself in a yellow t-shirt but ignoring the poor people who ask for help.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,050 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Fair point. I will ask them. But it's not just my friends and family I'm seeing pictures of. So how else can I reach them to ask? It's a thread about how and why selfies help a person who is struggling. Not that odd to be fair.

    Selfies are just selfies, they appear at every event, they aren't merely taken on this night. Holidays, festivals, nights out, sports events, weddings. It is clear you have a problem with selfies aspect as I don't see you with a tread about selfies and these events??.

    They aren't my scene but SELFIES are one of the most "trending" aspects of young modern society.
    They appeal to many young people and conjoining your participation in such a noble cause with an aspect of society which reaches many young people will spread the message of togetherness among young people, family, friends etc and that seeking help has broke the border of stigma.

    In a manner of words, it gives off the impression that it is perfectly cool to seek help and seeing young people, family and friends share these on your timeline may give a particular young person the courage to take action.


    How simple can it be to understand,


    Most of these people are people who have experienced suicide in family or friends or their own depression etc so their participation in such an event makes them see some light and they want to share that with their family/friends.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,442 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Strong irony taking a picture of yourself in a yellow t-shirt but ignoring the poor people who ask for help.

    Who have you asked for help and subsequently ignored you?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭koumi


    I'm glad the OP started the thread, and asked all the questions they asked because otherwise I wouldn't have known, not just about the event but about other peoples stories and how their lives have been touched by it. I was sitting down feeling crappy for having pulled up a baby tree today and I read this thread and tears started to flow. I'm sorry for the struggles that people have had to go through and for their losses and I'm moved by the willingness of others to do something about it. If you've contributed to this thread at all take a bow.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    Maybe if you can ask your friends and family they can give you their personal reasons and you can begin to understand what it means to them.

    I genuinely think this thread is just a means of letting out some faux outrage/irritation/ignorance by you anyway and you can't be so naive to realise the benefit of spreading the awareness of the campaign on social media.

    Hopefully not anyway.

    I already said countless times that I can see the benefits of it. It's the hypocrisy that's bothering me. Someone said the t-shirts say something on them about self harm? I didn't even know that because all I see is head shots.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,050 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Strong irony taking a picture of yourself in a yellow t-shirt but ignoring the poor people who ask for help.


    Most of the people at these events have experience of the issues that the event highlights. I am pretty sure they have great empathy for people who require help.

    The people in "yellow t-shirts" are people who have raised funds for helping the"poor people who ask for help"??

    Were you out there last night. Do you go out and raise funds for these "poor people"

    Jesus, are you that ignorant to the whole event!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    Most of the people at these events have experience of the issues that the event highlights. I am pretty sure they have great empathy to people who require help.

    The people in "yellow t-shirts" are people who have raised funds for helping the"poor people who ask for help"??

    Were you out there last night. Do you go out and raise funds for these "poor people"

    Jesus, are you that ignorant to the whole event!!!

    I know i would be there for people if they asked me for help, people who know me know they can talk to me. I do my bit. And yes I am ignorant to the whole event, I admit that, I can't see behind the selfies! Literally! I can't even see what's wrote on the t-shirts!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    The poster I replied to had zero understanding of it.

    You don't get to dismiss my experiences just because they don't correlate with yours. That tells me that you are the one who has zero understanding.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,050 ✭✭✭✭The Talking Bread


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    I know i would be there for people if they asked me for help, people who know me know they can talk to me. I do my bit. And yes I am ignorant to the whole event, I admit that, I can't see behind the selfies! Literally! I can't even see what's wrote on the t-shirts!


    I don't think you actually know what your reason for starting this thread is to be honest beyond sparking a bit of faux irritation!

    The yellow t-shirts are symbolic attire to represent the event. Think of them as team jerseys. Why you want to indulge in someones personal experience by reading their t-shirt I don't know?

    Most of them had names of victims or photos of victims that are close to them.

    You are merely running out of reasons as to why you are supposedly bewildered by all this!
    So it backs up my thinking that you only started this thread to moan about selfies or even probably just to moan!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    I know i would be there for people if they asked me for help, people who know me know they can talk to me. I do my bit. And yes I am ignorant to the whole event, I admit that, I can't see behind the selfies! Literally! I can't even see what's wrote on the t-shirts!

    Maybe next year you should so and find out what it's all about?


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    koumi wrote: »
    I'm glad the OP started the thread, and asked all the questions they asked because otherwise I wouldn't have known, not just about the event but about other peoples stories and how their lives have been touched by it. I was sitting down feeling crappy for having pulled up a baby tree today and I read this thread and tears started to flow. I'm sorry for the struggles that people have had to go through and for their losses and I'm moved by the willingness of others to do something about it. If you've contributed to this thread at all take a bow.

    Awh I'm so sorry the thread made you cry!! I honestly didn't set out to upset anyone, and the thread probably did start out as a bit of a facebook "moan" but I too have enjoyed hearing the positives!

    Ps sorry to hear about your tree :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 177 ✭✭Imallrightjack


    xzanti wrote: »
    Miserable git.

    Shouldn't you be banned for that calling someone that or can you not be because your a mod?


  • Registered Users Posts: 8 Promenade


    I think it's more "selfies against suicide and we're here for you, with you".
    Fully agree with anyone who praises Pieta House - doing great work. Also know a few people who participated in the walk and they are all genuinely great people - fair play to anyone who did it (I didn't).

    However, it is a bit naive to assume that when people take pictures of themselves and post them online, they are doing it to raise awareness of the charity as opposed to hoping people will compliment them on their own altruism (I believe "fishing for likes" is the phrase).

    It's no different to when a celebrity makes a large donation to a charitable cause but does it publicly as opposed to anonymously. It is still great for the charity of course, but a little bit unsettling that people refuse to acknowledge the self promotional aspect to it.

    Positives outweigh the negatives of course, but still.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭koumi


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Awh I'm so sorry the thread made you cry!! I honestly didn't set out to upset anyone, and the thread probably did start out as a bit of a facebook "moan" but I too have enjoyed hearing the positives!

    Ps sorry to hear about your tree :)
    It's ok, when the goodness in other people makes you cry it's not a bad thing. I definitely feel better for reading this thread. I don't get to see selfies either because I'm not on social media, those things means nothing to me but if this discussion is anything to go by well done for bringing the darkness out into the light here on boards. (and to all those involved)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    I don't have a Facebook account because I couldn't deal with all the self indulgent nonsense. Selfies included.

    Having said that OP I see nothing really wrong with selfies in this instance. In fact I think they have their place. It's not all that long ago that mental health issues and suicide were only uttered in whispers. My grandmother, for example, would 'take to the bed' for a day with 'her nerves' and then have to drag herself out the next day and pretend all was well. She had severe depression but that was something to be ashamed of.

    I think people unashamedly posing like 'check me out' and being immensely proud of their tiny part in suicide prevention and awareness can only be a good step towards making it a societal norm to openly talk about these things. Because unfortunately there are still a lot of people of all age groups too embarrassed and ashamed to tell someone they need help.

    I work with vulnerable children and suicide comes up too often and yet not often enough.

    Thank you for this reply! I love this post. I agree with a lot of what you said especially about the taboo that still does surround mental health. It's the saddest thing in the world to feel like you can't be honest about how you feel. I'm all for changing that taboo and I do hope you are right about the selfies having their place in changing that but I still feel there should be more done. But I guess at the end of the day any awareness is good awareness and that is all that matters at the end of the day but I just hope these people on the walk will back up what their portraying online when someone asks them for help.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,399 ✭✭✭Westernyelp


    It's all about attention seeking. I'm not on facebook but if i was i'd put a picture of myself sound asleep in my bed at 4am this morning.


    How would you take it?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    What I've learned from this thread is that everyone's experiences with mental health are different. You can't box these people in together or force them all into the one bracket- equally you can't dismiss one person's experience with what they know to be mental health just because it doesn't correlate with your own. This morning when I saw all the selfies I did do a little eye roll. I thought for god's sake can you just leave the phone at home. But tbh, who am I to judge. They were up doing something good for society, while I was tucked up in bed sleeping. I feel bad now. I may even like a few of the photos on Facebook to ease my guilt! :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    anna080 wrote: »
    What I've learned from this thread is that everyone's experiences with mental health are different. You can't box these people in together or force them all into the one bracket- equally you can't dismiss one person's experience with what they know to be mental health just because it doesn't correlate with your own. This morning when I saw all the selfies I did do a little eye roll. I thought for god's sake can you just leave the phone at home. But tbh, who am I to judge. They were up doing something good for society, while I was tucked up in bed sleeping. I feel bad now. I may even like a few of the photos on Facebook to ease my guilt! :pac:

    Anna this sums everything up perfectly! I feel the exact same although I think I'll stay off Facebook for today ;) or you know, for ever :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,922 ✭✭✭snowflaker


    There is certainly attention seeking, not sure its from DIL walkers though...


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Thank you for this reply! I love this post. I agree with a lot of what you said especially about the taboo that still does surround mental health. It's the saddest thing in the world to feel like you can't be honest about how you feel. I'm all for changing that taboo and I do hope you are right about the selfies having their place in changing that but I still feel there should be more done. But I guess at the end of the day any awareness is good awareness and that is all that matters at the end of the day but I just hope these people on the walk will back up what their portraying online when someone asks them for help.

    If you are interested in furthering your own awareness of suicide and it's prevention you can check this out
    http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/Mental_Health_Services/NOSP/Training/

    At that link you'll find an option to do an online programme where you can find out more about issues relating to suicide.

    You'll also be able to read about the SAFE talk training they do (Suicide Awareness For Everyone) and the ASIST training (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) where you can also learn more about the reasons behind suicide and how to appropriately intervene if you think someone may be suicidal.

    I personally found the ASIST training extremely helpful. Its only a couple of days and very intense but very important IMO and open to anyone.
    It may perhaps be very helpful for you if you did want some guidance in how best to approach the friend you mentioned who's going through a hard time and not getting helpful responses online.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,434 ✭✭✭Robsweezie


    It appears your issue is more with the facebook element than the event itself, which is understandable.

    There will be always be the selfie airheads and egotists will take any event or cause as a vanity exercise. And some have a genuine emotional investment in this. The sense of camaraderie of thousands is breathtaking. I was at it last night, the atmosphere...the lights...the sounds...believe me. It's fuucking beautiful. Well organised, and an amazing concept.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    If you are interested in furthering your own awareness of suicide and it's prevention you can check this out
    http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/Mental_Health_Services/NOSP/Training/

    At that link you'll find an option to do an online programme where you can find out more about issues relating to suicide.

    You'll also be able to read about the SAFE talk training they do (Suicide Awareness For Everyone) and the ASIST training (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) where you can also learn more about the reasons behind suicide and how to appropriately intervene if you think someone may be suicidal.

    I personally found the ASIST training extremely helpful. Its only a couple of days and very intense but very important IMO and open to anyone.
    It may perhaps be very helpful for you if you did want some guidance in how best to approach the friend you mentioned who's going through a hard time and not getting helpful responses online.

    Thank you for the tips I've actually had lectures in college on suicide as it's related to my studies but it was only a few lectures and the lecturer even said it was okay if people wanted to leave during it so it's obviously still a very hard topic for people to discuss. The ASIST training sounds like a great way to raise awareness.

    With regards to my friend I think you are right , I was thinking of sending him a message and telling him that Facebook is the last place he should look for help but to be honest I'm not sure what type of response I would get in return.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    Yes.

    They are absolute hypocrites and scumbags then. But if you ever do need help or want to talk I'd be more than happy to help if you wanted to PM me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 80 ✭✭Phil Mitchell


    I find the thing a bit cringey at this stage.

    Good on them for raising money and stuff but "HOPE" spelled out in fairy candles candles becomes a bit tiresome now.

    I also think the whole "awareness" and understanding thing has gone way too far. There are people using mental health reasons to try and get away with really ****ty behaviour.

    I have lost count of the amount of times I have heard that something like a book/tv series/film/programme should be on the school curriculum. If it was up to some of these self promoting kooks, the whole school curriculum would be about mental health. Its as if they are trying to talk the kids into depression.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭koumi


    Cerisepink wrote: »
    Thank you for the tips I've actually had lectures in college on suicide as it's related to my studies but it was only a few lectures and the lecturer even said it was okay if people wanted to leave during it so it's obviously still a very hard topic for people to discuss. The ASIST training sounds like a great way to raise awareness.

    With regards to my friend I think you are right , I was thinking of sending him a message and telling him that Facebook is the last place he should look for help but to be honest I'm not sure what type of response I would get in return.
    I'm no expert but I would think FB would be the last place anyone would find help. I hear the point you are making and I would second the advice above, my daughter also trained in the safe talk program through college and knowing how much my illness was affecting her life, enough to make her feel she needed help, was enough to make me go and get help. We have both been through counselling since and definitely more determined to make things better. (I had been to my doctor for years asking for some but had never offered assistance in any form, being unemployed I ended up borrowing a large sum of money to get professional assistance, so understandably people may say that help is there when really the journey to getting it is often a struggle in itself)


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Rather than having all these sorts of anti-suicide/depression charities, wouldn't it be better for us all to ask why it is that it is so common nowadays but wasn't in the past? And it really wasn't as common, even accounting for catholic church cover up etc. Personally I find it ironic that people ruthlessly compete with each other in school, college and then the jobs market and workplace for the highest status positions in our modern capitalist economy and then when they come up good as a result of their hard work or luck they broadcast their lives on social media, leaving less popular or good looking or successful people in no doubt what their worth in the eyes of others actually is. And then when those who end up occupying the bottom places kill themselves the rest all start saying "isn't it terrible, something must be done". In reality we are all making each other depressed by striving to secure high social status for ourselves in our individualistic western lives and "screw everyone else" until we are comfortable in our own position. Our lives don't take place in a vacuum, one persons perceived success means anothers perceived sense of failure. Life in the not too distant past was harder in a material sense but was less socially competitive. Meritocracy and an emphasis on the worth of the individual has it's dark side.

    And having access to unlimited constant depressing information via the internet from a young age has got to be having a negative impact on peoples mental health all else being equal.

    I am not suggesting the above accounts for every situation where a person is depressed or kills themselves but it is conceivably making life more depressing for people in general.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 646 ✭✭✭koumi


    Rather than having all these sorts of anti-suicide/depression charities, wouldn't it be better for us all to ask why it is that it is so common nowadays but wasn't in the past? And it really wasn't as common, even accounting for catholic church cover up etc. Personally I find it ironic that people ruthlessly compete with each other in school, college and then the jobs market and workplace for the highest status positions in our modern capitalist economy and then when they come up good as a result of their hard work or luck they broadcast their lives on social media, leaving less popular or good looking or successful people in no doubt what their worth in the eyes of others actually is. And then when those who end up occupying the bottom places kill themselves the rest all start saying "isn't it terrible, something must be done". In reality we are all making each other depressed by striving to secure high social status for ourselves in our individualistic western lives and "screw everyone else" until we are comfortable in our own position. Our lives don't take place in a vacuum, one persons perceived success means anothers perceived sense of failure. Life in the not too distant past was harder in a material sense but was less socially competitive. Meritocracy and an emphasis on the worth of the individual has it's dark side.

    And having access to unlimited constant depressing information via the internet from a young age has got to be having a negative impact on peoples mental health all else being equal.

    I am not suggesting the above accounts for every situation where a person is depressed or kills themselves but it is conceivably making life more depressing for people in general.
    well, you could look at it one way and consider it Darwinian and that those who die off are the weakest of the herd. Or you could ask yourself where the herd is going. I honestly haven't a clue but I think it's somewhere bad.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    This is Boards. You're always going to have people disagree with you! I wouldn't go so far as saying this thread is being attacked.

    So you don't feel that being called a "miserable git" and being told to quote "get ****ed" isn't being attacked? I know I haven't been on boards very long but even I know that there is a way to respectfully disagree with someones opinion rather than being down right nasty.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Cerisepink


    I honestly haven't a clue but I think it's somewhere bad.[/QUOTE]

    This makes sense,as does the post above that asks why we have more of a suicide problem now than in the past. Someone here said I was just being negative but honestly I think we as people are drawn to negativity, we love it for some crazy reason! That needs to change too. I've just heard on the news that there are 10 deaths per week in Ireland to suicide. Why is all this awareness not working? Maybe ignorance is bliss.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    Rather than having all these sorts of anti-suicide/depression charities, wouldn't it be better for us all to ask why it is that it is so common nowadays but wasn't in the past? And it really wasn't as common, even accounting for catholic church cover up etc. Personally I find it ironic that people ruthlessly compete with each other in school, college and then the jobs market and workplace for the highest status positions in our modern capitalist economy and then when they come up good as a result of their hard work or luck they broadcast their lives on social media, leaving less popular or good looking or successful people in no doubt what their worth in the eyes of others actually is. And then when those who end up occupying the bottom places kill themselves the rest all start saying "isn't it terrible, something must be done". In reality we are all making each other depressed by striving to secure high social status for ourselves in our individualistic western lives and "screw everyone else" until we are comfortable in our own position. Our lives don't take place in a vacuum, one persons perceived success means anothers perceived sense of failure. Life in the not too distant past was harder in a material sense but was less socially competitive. Meritocracy and an emphasis on the worth of the individual has it's dark side.

    And having access to unlimited constant depressing information via the internet from a young age has got to be having a negative impact on peoples mental health all else being equal.

    I am not suggesting the above accounts for every situation where a person is depressed or kills themselves but it is conceivably making life more depressing for people in general.

    Sounds to me like you are suggesting communism.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Sounds to me like you are suggesting communism.

    Definitley not. But if we are serious about actually reaching a stage in the future where suicide and depression rates are much lower, a first step is working out just what is it about nowdays that has so many people depressed compared to the past. Then at least we can try to tweak our attitudes and behaviour a bit to make life a bit less depressing for each other. A persons mental state at a given time is the result of a long personal sequence of events and thoughts so the causes of one person being depressed will not be the exact same as another person, but I believe on a societal level factors that impinge on us all or most of us can have an impact on a lot of peoples mental health.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,457 ✭✭✭livedadream


    I'm not sure if it's been covered but it was started by a couple who used the services of pieta house after they lost one son to cancer and another to suicide in the space of 18 months.
    The father used to train athletics and thought it would be a good idea to get people together raise some money and show them that there is a light at the end of the dark... ''even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise''
    I have no problem with people posting selfies on Facebook or snapchat etc it's a personal preference but whatever helps.
    For some people it's a social event for other it's one day a year (like another poster said much more elequently) where people who have suffered through a horrible illness and or lost a friend or family member can get together and try to change things for someone else


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,048 ✭✭✭Daisy78


    Rather than having all these sorts of anti-suicide/depression charities, wouldn't it be better for us all to ask why it is that it is so common nowadays but wasn't in the past? And it really wasn't as common, even accounting for catholic church cover up etc. Personally I find it ironic that people ruthlessly compete with each other in school, college and then the jobs market and workplace for the highest status positions in our modern capitalist economy and then when they come up good as a result of their hard work or luck they broadcast their lives on social media, leaving less popular or good looking or successful people in no doubt what their worth in the eyes of others actually is. And then when those who end up occupying the bottom places kill themselves the rest all start saying "isn't it terrible, something must be done". In reality we are all making each other depressed by striving to secure high social status for ourselves in our individualistic western lives and "screw everyone else" until we are comfortable in our own position. Our lives don't take place in a vacuum, one persons perceived success means anothers perceived sense of failure. Life in the not too distant past was harder in a material sense but was less socially competitive. Meritocracy and an emphasis on the worth of the individual has it's dark side.

    And having access to unlimited constant depressing information via the internet from a young age has got to be having a negative impact on peoples mental health all else being equal.

    I am not suggesting the above accounts for every situation where a person is depressed or kills themselves but it is conceivably making life more depressing for people in general.

    I totally agree. There is a very short but interesting article on The School of Life website on why suicide is more prevalent in western societies than in poorer less developed countries which you would reasonably consider to be counter intuitive. As countries develop they tend to attribute success more to individual qualities and personal control with a reduced emphasis on the workings of a higher being. If our success is all down to our own efforts then nobody else can be blamed for when things go wrong, when we lose a job,a lack of romantic success, poor education, etc. Luck or the lack of it is not considered. It is societies reaction to a perceived lack of success which is the problem, placing the burden on the individual for their circumstances rather than allowing for the fact that a lot of it is down to bad luck.


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Daisy78 wrote: »
    I totally agree. There is a very short but interesting article on The School of Life website on why suicide is more prevalent in western societies than in poorer less developed countries which you would reasonably consider to be counter intuitive. As countries develop they tend to attribute success more to individual qualities and personal control with a reduced emphasis on the workings of a higher being. If our success is all down to our own efforts then nobody else can be blamed for when things go wrong, when we lose a job,a lack of romantic success, poor education, etc. Luck or the lack of it is not considered. It is societies reaction to a perceived lack of success which is the problem, placing the burden on the individual for their circumstances rather than allowing for the fact that a lot of it is down to bad luck.

    That's a great youtube channel for helping you see the wood from the trees in relation to understanding the world, human nature, things that trouble us all etc. We grow up thinking the culture we grow up in is the default culture when in reality it could be the exception in historical and geographical terms and could have lots of features which contribute to high levels of unhappiness.

    A significant example of a feature of our way of life nowadays which I believe contributes to peoples unhappiness is how two parents often need to work nowadays to pay for a house and keep the family's head above water where in the past it could be done on one income - this leads to children being put in a creche and so money is needed for childcare and the children get less time spent with their parents, working parents lives being more hectic, women having children later, women who do stay at home to mind the kids feeling less than those who work, house prices continuing to stay high, rents then being high, increased competition among young people to secure to kinds of jobs which will pay them enough to be able to beat the suffocating system of high costs and taxes etc. There are lots of knock-on effects to changes in society which only become felt as time passes.


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