Baby screaming in restaurant

Hannibelle Smeeeth

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Hahaha it's parents like this that for years made me not want kids. Then I realised you can actually be a parent without the horrible attitude of "my kid can do what they like and if you don't like it then tough".

If YOUR child is causing a scene, then it's YOUR responsibility to deal with it. Sitting there oblivious to YOUR child screaming and roaring makes YOU a knob. Not everyone else. You seriously expect people who've paid for lunch to get up and leave if they're not mesmerised by your kids tantrums?
Get a grip

Kids cry, big deal. If a child is constantly crying, and won't stop then it's on you to get up and deal with it like a responsible adult and not put your kids behaviour on everyone else. Being a parent is a responsibility. If your child is very upset, take the child outside. If the child is running around and liable to cause an accident, bring a colouring book and make them sit down. If they're not able to sit down and behave themselves, bring them somewhere that they can run around.

It seems to be some parents attitude that they can bring their child wherever they like, their child can behave whatever way they like, it doesn't matter if everyone else's lunch is ruined, as long as you enjoy yours. Great attitude to have, well done.

Well done yourself thats some top notch ranting!

Comparing the behaviour of a child to a dog was bang out of order. Sitting in a restaurant at lunchtime and expecting the entire restaurant to be quietly spoken is unrealistic at best.

A dad entertaining his kid is not a bad thing. No matter if it was in a park, at home, or in a restaurant at lunchtime.

Keane2baMused

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Are you for real?

Nobody is suggesting letting a family go hungry, but if your kids aren't old enough or well-behaved enough to enjoy a meal out at reasonable volumes for other diners you could

- cook at home
- enjoy a lovely takeaway
- get a babysitter/granny/uncle/aunt to feed the kids while you have a lovely night out with your OH

What you're basically saying is your 'right' to have an enjoyable meal out on your terms is more important than that of all the other people in the restaurant who just want to enjoy a nice meal.

As I said earlier, when you go out you choose a place as much for the ambience as for the food, so loud screaming (happy or sad) would totally ruin that.

I agree to a certain extent but can you really apply the same to say Milanos or Nandos on a Saturday at lunch time?

They are purposely family oriented restaurants.

To my mind it makes sense to go to establishments more geared towards adults only than to ones where inevitably there will be a brat or two

ceadaoin.

thattequilagirl wrote: »

I feel very sorry for the child in the scenario who is being dragged somewhere it doesn't want to be because it's parents want to be there. I've never heard a three-year-old say "Let's go somewhere nice for lunch" Stop pretending this is an attack on the child, it's not.

My daughter is 4 and loves going to restaurants. She frequently asks to go out to eat in her favourite places and was asking when she was 3 too. Most parents arent dragging their child somewhere they don't want to be. Children are a part of society like everyone else btw. If you keep them at home until whatever age you deem appropriate, you would have a load of older kids with no clue how to behave in a restaurant.

If this happened in an expensive restaurant at 9 in the evening it would be different. It didn't, it was lunch time in a presumably family friendly place. Perfectly acceptable for a baby to be there and some noise is to be expected.

thattequilagirl

Keane2baMused wrote: »

I agree to a certain extent but can you really apply the same to say Milanos or Nandos on a Saturday at lunch time?

They are purposely family oriented restaurants.

To my mind it makes sense to go to establishments more geared towards adults only than to ones where inevitably there will be a brat or two

Yup, I already said it depends on the place. In that scenario, I'd expect it to a certain extent.

Speedwell

Thelomen Toblackai wrote: »

I think everyone should be respectful of other people in public and part of that is not being overly loud. If the father was doing something that was causing the kid to make noise the woman was dead right to ask him to stop.

It's just a pity someone had to actually say it to him and he didn't have enough cop on to understand it himself.

That's just the conundrum here. He needed to stop. She needed to be very careful about how she interfered, if she interfered at all. I have occasionally asked someone if everything was all right and if I could help, and very occasionally someone has said, "Could you hold the baby for one second while I tie my son's shoelaces that he is having a meltdown about". But I come across as "nice lady" (airlines like putting unaccompanied minors next to me, God help them). Not everyone is able to do this, and most people shouldn't.

screamer

thattequilagirl wrote: »

I feel very sorry for the child in the scenario who is being dragged somewhere it doesn't want to be because it's parents want to be there. I've never heard a three-year-old say "Let's go somewhere nice for lunch" Stop pretending this is an attack on the child, it's not.

..a child being dragged somewhere..... God forbid the family is out and about and get hungry. But you're so right a three year old should just go to a kip with their family so that you can have a nice meal.....nice really nice....

thattequilagirl

ceadaoin. wrote: »

My daughter is 4 and loves going to restaurants. She frequently asks to go out to eat in her favourite places and was asking when she was 3 too. Children are a part of society like everyone else btw. Most parents arent dragging their child somewhere they don't want to be.

If they are screaming their angelic little heads off, it's fairly clear they don't want to be there.

Keane2baMused

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Yup, I already said it depends on the place. In that scenario, I'd expect it to a certain extent.

I think for the purpose of the thread it would be helpful if the OP could clarify what sort of 'restaurant' this was.

alan partridge aha

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Yup, I already said it depends on the place. In that scenario, I'd expect it to a certain extent.

Most people will tolerate it, but as the OP said it went on and on.

thattequilagirl

screamer wrote: »

..a child being dragged somewhere..... God forbid the family is out and about and get hungry. But you're so right a three year old should just go to a kip with their family so that you can have a nice meal.....nice really nice....

I'm going to start reporting your posts if you keep deliberately misrepresenting what I'm saying. I offered three solutions above, none of which involved going to a kip.

Why do you think your family's dining experience is so much more important than that of all the other diners?

Speedwell

screamer wrote: »

..a child being dragged somewhere..... God forbid the family is out and about and get hungry. But you're so right a three year old should just go to a kip with their family so that you can have a nice meal.....nice really nice....

Oh, ffs, decent functional parents take responsibility for their children's well-being. Everyone in the room is not responsible for dealing with other people's children's tiredness, frustration, boredom, overstimulation, and stress.

I seem to be in the position (me, the Aspie) of explaining social skills to someone. The irony.

Hannibelle Smeeeth

meeeeh wrote: »

I think some people should get a bit of perspective that little kids should not always be the centre of universe. Nobody was complaining child to a dog just self centered behavior to another type of self centered behavior. It's not that hard to understand the point Lexie was making.

Should we all just roll our kids into the restaurant Hannibal Lecter style? Keep them firmly strapped to their seats?

Children are children. Theyre not always going to be perfectly behaved. Sometimes you cant predict what my kick them off. But equally sometimes you cant predict what bit of craic is gonna light them up. Its very hard easy to forget anyone else is in room when you get them like that. Its not self centered!

I wouldnt let my children be disruptive anywhere, nevermind in public. But wouldnt judge a guy for playing with his kid in a restaurant. I was out for lunch with a friend a few weeks ago and I saw lots of children from 6 month old babies to toddlers with ipads/tablets looking at cartoons to keep them quiet. I thought that was so sad and a reflection of the children should be seen and not heard ideology.

Thelomen Toblackai

Speedwell wrote: »

That's just the conundrum here. He needed to stop. She needed to be very careful about how she interfered, if she interfered at all. I have occasionally asked someone if everything was all right and if I could help, and very occasionally someone has said, "Could you hold the baby for one second while I tie my son's shoelaces that he is having a meltdown about". But I come across as "nice lady" (airlines like putting unaccompanied minors next to me, God help them). Not everyone is able to do this, and most people shouldn't.

As I see it though she wasn't really interfering she was asking for him to show other people some respect by not making the kid screech or whatever. By making noise they were interfering with everyone else.

To me it's no different than if he was on the phone talking loudly and someone asking them not to. It's a reminder that they aren't the only person there and need to be considerate of others and not just make a load of noise because they want to.

alan partridge aha

The screeching went on for 10min, the woman should have given the guy a kick up the rear and told him to cop on.

One eyed Jack

screamer wrote: »

Pity that consideration doesn't extend to the family with a small child isn't it.......

That consideration does extend to the family with a small child! It's the adults who have no consideration for anyone but themselves, that the consideration doesn't extend to. How can you honestly expect consideration for yourself if you have none for others? Tell everyone else in the restaurant to get earplugs so you and your family can treat the restaurant like you're at home?

I've taken my child everywhere from the time he was born. I've never experienced any complaints from anyone. He's never kicked off in a restaurant, and the odd time he kicked off in shopping centres, I'd pick him up and throw him over my shoulder and walk out, or I'd take him by his shirt collar and frog march him outside. That was how he learned that the world doesn't revolve around him, and other people are entitled to their comfort as much as he is!

I still have trouble keeping him away from whenever he sees maintenance men working, he wants to be over and be in the thick of it helping them out and asking questions. I've yet to ever have one of them tell me he's causing a nuisance, and to be frank, sometimes I wish they would because I worry he might injure himself. Credit to the guys though they teach him safety first. They don't mind him helping because he has manners and is able to be polite, unlike some adults who would tell me to get ear plugs if I don't like the nuisance they're making of themselves.

screamer

screamer wrote: »

As are a lot of people here with problems with babies it seems.

Just took our 16 month old to a restaurant. She did say hi to a few people at the adjacent tables, who smiled. She gurgled a bit, talked some gibberish, and then spent the rest of the time cramming her mouth.

If she had acted up, as has happened, I'd have brought her outside, left my wife finish her meal, and then gone back in and asked them to microwave mine while she took over minding. Not ideal, but then again we know the risks when we go out to eat and bring our baby. All that happened today was she left a bit of a mess, so got a napkin and wiped the floor to pick up bits she had dropped. It just simple consideration for others. No big drama.

Joe prim

goz83 wrote: »

If the woman had approached me while I was entertaining my baby, I would have sternly told her where to go. How dare her. It was lunch time, not a romantic meal in a 5 star establishment. If you don't want to hear babies laughing/crying then don't go to places where they have high chairs.

That said, I would completely understand if the baby was screaming crying, which is distressing for everyone. In that case, I would leave if I had to. I'm not inconsiderate, but I won't hide away in a hole until my children are old enough to leave the nest.

How very dare her!

screamer

thattequilagirl wrote: »

Why do you think your family's dining experience is so much more important than that of all the other diners?

I don't.... that's my point. It's others who expect their dining experience to be so much more important. If that means removing your family from the restaurant that seems to be what they expect. My daughter is very well behaved and enjoys the restaurant experience but a lot of younger kids can play up from time to time and like someone said there's a right way and a wrong way to approach it. But most people just think wicked stares and snide remarks are the way to do it. Most parents myself included would remove the child from that scenario and see if they calm down or not if not we would leave. But generally I find most other diners have 0 consideration at all for the family or the parents desperately trying to soothe the child.
No one wants their kids making a scene it's rare the chance a lot of families get to enjoy a nice restaurant so when they do they hope it all goes well
and that their kids behave. I am very aware of other people and we stick to family restaurants or if in the hotel we don't frequent the restaurant prefering to have food in the lobby or somewhere that is noisier.

Kids running around though being a nuisance and being bold is a very different thing to a child crying or laughing loudly.

dr.fuzzenstein

Hannibelle Smeeeth wrote: »

Should we all just roll our kids into the restaurant Hannibal Lecter style? Keep them firmly strapped to their seats?

Children are children. Theyre not always going to be perfectly behaved. Sometimes you cant predict what my kick them off. But equally sometimes you cant predict what bit of craic is gonna light them up. Its very hard easy to forget anyone else is in room when you get them like that. Its not self centered!

I wouldnt let my children be disruptive anywhere, nevermind in public. But wouldnt judge a guy for playing with his kid in a restaurant. I was out for lunch with a friend a few weeks ago and I saw lots of children from 6 month old babies to toddlers with ipads/tablets looking at cartoons to keep them quiet. I thought that was so sad and a reflection of the children should be seen and not heard ideology.

You see this is AH. Most people on here are borderline dysfunctional themselves, they usually hate other people, any kind of noise, open spaces, enclosed spaces, dogs, cats, cyclists, motorists, loud shirts, people walking, drinking coffee, talking (on the phone or to other people and especially to them), but above everything, children.
They would prefer if the rest of us sat a respectful distance away from them, kept absolutely silent, avoided eye contact and that we kept our hands on the table where they could see them, thank you very much.
So I can only advise real world rules:
There are other people out there. They can be noisy, clumsy, inconsiderate, smelly and God knows what else. You have three options:

1: get used to it, get over it and enjoy life
2: Get eaten up with resentment and get cancer or heart disease
3: Become a social justice warrior and constantly pull up people and "educate" them on proper behavior round your person.

Personally I think life is too short for option 2 and 3. Yes, if a child will spend several hours screaming his/her head off, it's annoying.
But as to the OP, the dad was playing with his kid. If anyone has a problem with that, dude, WTF is wrong with you.
You don't like it? Tough sh*t!

alan partridge aha

Ya but numb nuts was purposely making his child screech, to the discomfort of at least 4 people.

meeeeh

screamer wrote: »

..a child being dragged somewhere..... God forbid the family is out and about and get hungry. But you're so right a three year old should just go to a kip with their family so that you can have a nice meal.....nice really nice....

Our three year old does not scream the restaurant down. The only time we had to leave was when the older one was one and a bit and intent to climbing all over the place. Kids can be perfectly well behaved in restaurants. Some won't like it but tablet and smart phones are a great. Sometimes we had to work harder keep them entertained in a quiet way but that is much better than roaring the place down. Most times kids are a nuisance when parents drag them out when they are tired or when parents let them do whatever they want. Poor hungry darlings can be perfectly well behaved if parents have a bit of cop on.

dr.fuzzenstein

alan partridge aha wrote: »

Ya but numb nuts was purposely making his child screech, to the discomfort of at least 4 people.

I'd have joined in.

thattequilagirl

screamer wrote: »

Most parents myself included would remove the child from that scenario and see if they calm down or not if not we would leave.

Oh, so we're in agreement. Grand.

Xaracatz

Hannibelle Smeeeth wrote: »

Well done yourself thats some top notch ranting!

Comparing the behaviour of a child to a dog was bang out of order. Sitting in a restaurant at lunchtime and expecting the entire restaurant to be quietly spoken is unrealistic at best.

A dad entertaining his kid is not a bad thing. No matter if it was in a park, at home, or in a restaurant at lunchtime.

Oh Jeez. Some people really can't wait to take offence.

Anyway, to make it better, I'd compare this situation with one in which I have a parrot who I do this cool routine with where we back and forth:

What do you want?

A CRACKER!

When do you want it?

NOW!!

To be fair - that's hilarious. People would love it. But not if we were to do it for ten minutes straight in a restaurant full of strangers.

Just to clarify now - I am not comparing the baby to a parrot. I am merely comparing the father of the baby to the owner of a parrot.

darkpagandeath

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Comparing a dog to a baby?

Also what expense exactly? If it offends your ears so much you don't have to be there.

I've had the misfortune of listening to obnoxious idiots sh1te on in restaurants or laugh like morons but I don't go complaining to management.

Will you or the idiot father in this case be paying for the meal then if you want the person to leave ? They kind of do have to be there having ordered a meal they have to pay for. Total disrespect. If it was not MacDonalds there is a certain level of etiquette in a restaurant or are people not taught manners these days ?

wokingvoter

screamer wrote: »

And do you think that parents want their child to cry and be upset? have you ever been on the receiving end of a nosy old busy body giving you daggers or smart comments? If not let me tell you the last thing you need is some busy body coming to your table telling you to keep it down. Babies don't have volume switches in case you don't know.

Bringing a baby to the doctors office is a necessary outing
Bringing a baby to a restaurant is not
You appear to have become confused by the 2 scenarios

wokingvoter

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

I'd have joined in.

Actually that's a good idea

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Hannibelle Smeeeth wrote: »

Well done yourself thats some top notch ranting!

Comparing the behaviour of a child to a dog was bang out of order. Sitting in a restaurant at lunchtime and expecting the entire restaurant to be quietly spoken is unrealistic at best.

A dad entertaining his kid is not a bad thing. No matter if it was in a park, at home, or in a restaurant at lunchtime.

See that's the attitude of so many parents. Doesn't matter how it affects everyone else as long as you and your brood are happy. I didn't compare dogs to children, I was making a comparrison to noise. If I was playing with my dog and making him make noise for ten mins straight, people would be annoyed and rightly so, no matter how cute he seems. I wouldn't expect the entire place to be fawning over him, just like parents shouldn't expect their child is the most important person in the room. They're not.

amdublin

Sometimes there is nothing as fabulous as the unadulterated hysterical laughter of a child. An example of this is the youtuble clips of a baby shrieking with mirth as the mother and father rip up paper (credit card bills sometimes) - have you seen it, it's hilarious?! There are other funny videos - one that comes to mind is a set of quadruplet or quintuplet babies who think their dad is the most hilarious man in the world for making a gurgling/babbling noise with his mouth. It's great!


BUT! Do I want to sit beside a baby who's numbnut father is riling up into hysterics (albeit fabulous hysterical laughter) that is getting louder and louder and hence disturbing (yes disturbing!) my lunch. No sirreee! I do not.


Equally I do not want to hear some numbnut braying into their phone. Nor a group of people being loud and drunk, and louder and louder.


People cop on and have some consideration for fellow diners!






P.s. This is not an attack on laughing baby. But it IS an attack on numbnut father - cop on!