Women commenting on and rejecting men due to height

Jawgap

newport2 wrote: »

I guess the point I was trying to make is that saying in front of a woman with blonde hair that I wouldn't go out with a blond haired woman is different to me than saying to her that I like brunettes. The former is saying I don't care much for an attribute she has, the latter is saying I like an attribute she doesn't have. And I think it's worse if it relates to something they can do nothing about, like height or their nose or something else like that.

Anyway, think I'm out-numbered here, so I'll concede defeat.

I see what you are driving at - preference can be expressed 'positively' as in "I prefer tall men" or 'negatively' as in "I'd never date a short guy"

I suppose the first one doesn't categorically rule out the short-arses

It's probably nicer if the person expressing the preference does so positively - thus demonstrating a degree of emotional intelligence, making her more attractive and a bigger let down when she opts not to date you.......


........therefore, better she simply says, "no shorties" and you regard it as a lucky escape!

baby and crumble

As a woman who is exclusively attracted to women, I don't know if I should weigh in here, but personally I find it very strange being with women who are taller than me. I really dislike the feeling. Pretty much all women I find attractive are shorter than me, but as a 5'10" women that's not hard! But maybe it's just a comfort thing, being with someone taller feels weird.

Liam McPoyle

newport2 wrote: »

I'm not talking about stating what you like. I've heard women on multiple occasions say - often in front of a guy who was short -

"I would not date a man who is shorter than me".

I don't think that's the same as saying "I like tall men".



Let's reverse it. How about a man saying in front of a variety of women:

"I would not date a flat-chested woman."

How would that go down?

I don't think saying that you won't date someone with a particular physical attribute comes across the same as saying that you like a particular physical attribute in others. But maybe I'm wrong.



I know several women who have done this who are not arseholes. I think sometimes it just doesn't even occur to them that a man is going to be offended by a comment about his physical appearance.

I think with the two bolded parts, context and how its delivered is key.

For example, a female saying "I would not date someone shorter than me" in front of a group of men, some of whom may be shorter than her, is fine.

However directing it at someone ie "I would not date you because you are shorter than me" is personalising it and is not cool, likewise if it was a guy talking about boob size or whatever.

FWIW I do think someone saying "I would not date someone shorter than me" or "I would not date a flat chested woman" is the same as saying "I like tall men" or "I like larger breasted women", maybe thats just me though. Two sides of the same coin imo.

BrianD3

From my experience as a short (actually a pretty average 5' 9.375") man, many women have major hangups about height and there is no reasoning with them. I have had women insist that I must be a jockey and I have had exchanges similar to the one below with women.

Woman: I like tall men
Short Man: Why?
Woman : Because they're tall and manly and can protect me
Short man: Well I may be short but I'm more than capable of protecting myself and others
Woman: Angry short man alert!

Then there is the mocking of men for "compensating". A short man realises that his height puts him at a disadvantage but that there is little or nothing he can do about it. So he works on things that he can change like his career or his body or grooming etc. He then gets mocked for that.

Let's say the guy is interested in cars for his own enjoyment and not to impress anyone. He buys a BMW, Porsche etc. Behind his back or possibly to his face, people are sneering about compensating, how can he see out of it, does he sit on a cushion in it.

Another example of how short men are mocked - "short men have small dicks". Any study I've read refutes this or found that the difference in penis size between very tall men and short or average men was small. Again, I am an angry short man (with a small cock) for mentioning these studies.

On boards.ie it's acceptable to refer to short men as smurfs, hobbits or squirts etc. However I'm not allowed to criticize this in this thread as

charter wrote:

Criticism of any other forums across Boards,the moderation of these forums or anything to do with these forums will result in infractions and/or ban's for the guilty parties. this includes comments such as "this wouldnt be tolerated in TLL"/"imagine what would happen if i posted that in TLL" etc

ancapailldorcha

Lalealynn wrote: »

But to be honest men go for what they go for. Personality counts a lot more for women. I am aware this might offend some men.

I actually find it heartening to be honest. I've had no luck with women in the past and a fair few have echoed this point when I've found myself discussing the subject with them. I'm not hideous (I hope) but I'm not muscled Adonis either.

I'd see no reason to objectify a woman if I was to tell her that I didn't find her attractive. I'd either say that she wasn't my type or just say that I already had a GF. Not really found myself in that situation yet though.

beano345

Woman: I like tall men
Short Man: Why?
Woman : Because they're tall and manly and can protect me
Short man: Well I may be short but I'm more than capable of protecting myself and others
Woman: Angry short man alert!

Protection from what,robbers?an atom bomb?

Roquentin

pwurple wrote: »

It has become a problem here, I know this because a friend was offered growth hormones for her 2 year old, because he looks like he will be about 5'5 when he is an adult. She refused them. The doctors spoke about bullying, finding a girlfriend/wife etc. His father isn't tall, has a wife, and was never bullied, so they completely dismissed this.

Apparantly a huge amount of spanish boys are given growth hormones for this reason.

It angers me that little boys are medicated for this.

lionel messi

Roquentin

a lot of sexual attraction is sub conscious......you may be attracted to someone but dont know why. this is because the sub consciously you are aware but not consciously. for example: a woman may look at a man and say he is attractive Why? consciously: he is good looking but sub consciously: he is big, strong, funny, good education etc and all these traits come together to call attraction

people are programmed from evolution to desire certain traits and for a woman one of these traits is strength. a lot of the time it is sub conscious in that she would not be aware that his height is a feature of the attraction. for some reason height gets the neurons firing and then if she saw a small man, she would not be attracted because sub consciously she is not impressed by his stature.

pwurple

Roquentin wrote: »

lionel messi

Ah yes, golden balls himself. Got growth hormones and grew to 5'6 or so?

No shortage of success for that particular short man though! Good for him!

Liam McPoyle

BrianD3 wrote: »

From my experience as a short (actually a pretty average 5' 9.375") man, many women have major hangups about height and there is no reasoning with them. I have had women insist that I must be a jockey and I have had exchanges similar to the one below with women.

Woman: I like tall men
Short Man: Why?
Woman : Because they're tall and manly and can protect me
Short man: Well I may be short but I'm more than capable of protecting myself and others
Woman: Angry short man alert!

Then there is the mocking of men for "compensating". A short man realises that his height puts him at a disadvantage but that there is little or nothing he can do about it. So he works on things that he can change like his career or his body or grooming etc. He then gets mocked for that.

Let's say the guy is interested in cars for his own enjoyment and not to impress anyone. He buys a BMW, Porsche etc. Behind his back or possibly to his face, people are sneering about compensating, how can he see out of it, does he sit on a cushion in it.

Another example of how short men are mocked - "short men have small dicks". Any study I've read refutes this or found that the difference in penis size between very tall men and short or average men was small. Again, I am an angry short man (with a small cock) for mentioning these studies.

On boards.ie it's acceptable to refer to short men as smurfs, hobbits or squirts etc. However I'm not allowed to criticize this in this thread as

Im about 5'9 and do not consider myself short, certainly I dont consider myself tall either but among a wide circle of friends with the odd exception up or down, Im pretty much the same height wise as the majority of my mates.

In my 35 years Ive dated a fair share of women and not one of them have ever commented about my height, like wise any female Ive ever met in non romantic ways.

So Ive either been very lucky in the people Ive met or you have been very unlucky.

DoYouEvenLift

miamee wrote: »

People have personal preferences. Weight preferences are not specific to men and height preferences are not specific to women. They are two separate issues, IMO. Some women will not go out with a man who isn't X height or at least taller than her, equally some men will not go out with a woman who is taller than he is (or maybe who is taller when wearing heels).

I'm not sure where weight came into a discussion about height? Both men and women can be put off by a potential partner being over or under weight.

I agree that some people can go way OTT in their specifications but everyone has things they think are deal-breakers no matter how unreasonable or outlandish they might seem to someone else.

I've explained this multiple times ITT in what I think is easy to understand terms. I'll break it down even further

Height = totally genetic - cannot be helped or changed
Weight = mostly personal choice - can almost always be helped and changed

If its acceptable for people to openly discuss and reject others on height then it should most definitely be acceptable for people to openly discuss and reject others on weight without being shamed or called a shallow asshole etc.

This is especially ironic if the person who rejects people based on height is fat and gets offended and defensive at any mention of weight.

baby and crumble wrote: »

As a woman who is exclusively attracted to women, I don't know if I should weigh in here, but personally I find it very strange being with women who are taller than me. I really dislike the feeling. Pretty much all women I find attractive are shorter than me, but as a 5'10" women that's not hard! But maybe it's just a comfort thing, being with someone taller feels weird.

You should probably know the difference between women and woman if you are a woman yourself.

Business Cat wrote: »

I think with the two bolded parts, context and how its delivered is key.

For example, a female saying "I would not date someone shorter than me" in front of a group of men, some of whom may be shorter than her, is fine.

However directing it at someone ie "I would not date you because you are shorter than me" is personalising it and is not cool, likewise if it was a guy talking about boob size or whatever.

FWIW I do think someone saying "I would not date someone shorter than me" or "I would not date a flat chested woman" is the same as saying "I like tall men" or "I like larger breasted women", maybe thats just me though. Two sides of the same coin imo.

And if a man was in a room with a group of fat women and said "I would not date someone who's is fat", how do you think they'd react?

Business Cat

Business Cat wrote: »

In my 35 years Ive dated a fair share of women and not one of them have ever commented about my height, like wise any female Ive ever met in non romantic ways.

Sometimes 5ft 9 is 5ft 9.

And sometimes 5ft 9 is code for 5ft 6.

I'm 4ft 11 (and a quarter!), I know about these things.

DoYouEvenLift

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I've explained this multiple times ITT in what I think is easy to understand terms. I'll break it down even further

Height = totally genetic - cannot be helped or changed
Weight = mostly personal choice - can almost always be helped and changed

If its acceptable for people to openly discuss and reject others on height then it should most definitely be acceptable for people to openly discuss and reject others on weight without being shamed or called a shallow asshole etc.

This is especially ironic if the person who rejects people based on height is fat and gets offended and defensive at any mention of weight.

It's not ok for anyone to rudely reject anyone citing any aspect of their appearance. Who said it was acceptable to do that to short men?

Oh and fat women (and men) are still entitled to preferences.

You should probably know the difference between women and woman if you are a woman yourself

Seriously?

DoYouEvenLift

BrianD3 wrote: »

From my experience as a short (actually a pretty average 5' 9.375") man, many women have major hangups about height and there is no reasoning with them. I have had women insist that I must be a jockey and I have had exchanges similar to the one below with women.

Woman: I like tall men
Short Man: Why?
Woman : Because they're tall and manly and can protect me
Short man: Well I may be short but I'm more than capable of protecting myself and others
Woman: Angry short man alert!

Then there is the mocking of men for "compensating". A short man realises that his height puts him at a disadvantage but that there is little or nothing he can do about it. So he works on things that he can change like his career or his body or grooming etc. He then gets mocked for that.

Let's say the guy is interested in cars for his own enjoyment and not to impress anyone. He buys a BMW, Porsche etc. Behind his back or possibly to his face, people are sneering about compensating, how can he see out of it, does he sit on a cushion in it.

Another example of how short men are mocked - "short men have small dicks". Any study I've read refutes this or found that the difference in penis size between very tall men and short or average men was small. Again, I am an angry short man (with a small cock) for mentioning these studies.

On boards.ie it's acceptable to refer to short men as smurfs, hobbits or squirts etc. However I'm not allowed to criticize this in this thread as

Does she not live in a civilised society or is she still living in the caveman days? What exactly does she need protecting from in this day and age?

Candie wrote: »

It's not ok for anyone to rudely reject anyone citing any aspect of their appearance. Who said it was acceptable to do that to short men?

Oh and fat women (and men) are still entitled to preferences.





Seriously?

Who said they weren't?

And yes, seriously. I'm not a grammar Nazi but that mistake seems to have gotten really common lately and I'm not sure how it's possible to mix up simple plurals and singulars as adults, when we learn them in primary school.

raze_them_all_

My gf always called me short(im 6'0) and all that and has a thing for tall men, in her own words around 6'6, I find it utterly infuriating because I once made the comparison to it being like she has small breasts it's something that can't be changed and she got in a huff over it.


I love the fact that 6'0 is tall for a male but since she had an ex 6 years ago who was 6'6 everyone is classed as short but if i mention a thing about her physical appearance i become a shallow dick

enfant terrible

BrianD3 wrote: »

From my experience as a short (actually a pretty average 5' 9.375") man, many women have major hangups about height and there is no reasoning with them. I have had women insist that I must be a jockey and I have had exchanges similar to the one below with women.

Woman: I like tall men
Short Man: Why?
Woman : Because they're tall and manly and can protect me
Short man: Well I may be short but I'm more than capable of protecting myself and others
Woman: Angry short man alert!

Then there is the mocking of men for "compensating". A short man realises that his height puts him at a disadvantage but that there is little or nothing he can do about it. So he works on things that he can change like his career or his body or grooming etc. He then gets mocked for that.

Let's say the guy is interested in cars for his own enjoyment and not to impress anyone. He buys a BMW, Porsche etc. Behind his back or possibly to his face, people are sneering about compensating, how can he see out of it, does he sit on a cushion in it.

Another example of how short men are mocked - "short men have small dicks". Any study I've read refutes this or found that the difference in penis size between very tall men and short or average men was small. Again, I am an angry short man (with a small cock) for mentioning these studies.

On boards.ie it's acceptable to refer to short men as smurfs, hobbits or squirts etc. However I'm not allowed to criticize this in this thread as

How is 5' 9 short?

Take off your shoes and measure your height your probably not 5' 9 if you think your short.

DoYouEvenLift

raze_them_all_ wrote: »

My gf always called me short(im 6'0) and all that and has a thing for tall men, in her own words around 6'6, I find it utterly infuriating because I once made the comparison to it being like she has small breasts it's something that can't be changed and she got in a huff over it.


I love the fact that 6'0 is tall for a male but since she had an ex 6 years ago who was 6'6 everyone is classed as short but if i mention a thing about her physical appearance i become a shallow dick

Perfect example of how illogical and hypocritical some women can be in regards to this whole thing. You may have to make some simple to read pie charts and graphs to get your point across and help her understand why her getting mad for receiving the same treatment she gives you is stupid and needs to stop.

beks101

Candie wrote: »

Sometimes 5ft 9 is 5ft 9.

And sometimes 5ft 9 is code for 5ft 6.

I'm 4ft 11 (and a quarter!), I know about these things.

Yeah this.

Over my years of dating the one common theme I found was that height was a particular sore spot for many men, and most would over-estimate (or just plain outright lie) about how tall they were.

It's prolific in online dating.

I remember years ago meeting a guy from a dating site who's profile said he was "5'8". Met up with him and in small heels I was taller than him (I'm 5'1, so that would have put him at about 5'3 or '4). Now I don't tend to have hard and fast rules about what I'm into but it was a weird dynamic and just didn't really 'fit' for me.

I told him I wasn't really feeling it and he lost the rag at me, 'get over myself' and like I had grounds to discriminate on height when I was as short as I was etc...and this was without me having uttered a thing about his physical stature.

So when you meet a guy who clearly has a massive chip on his shoulder about his height, everything and anything you say or don't say will appear derogatory, even the most benign, matter-of-fact statement such as 'I like tall men'. That's a preference, not a slight against every man everywhere who happens to be less than average height.

Roquentin

beks101 wrote: »

Yeah this.

Over my years of dating the one common theme I found was that height was a particular sore spot for many men, and most would over-estimate (or just plain outright lie) about how tall they were.

It's prolific in online dating.

I remember years ago meeting a guy from a dating site who's profile said he was "5'8". Met up with him and in small heels I was taller than him (I'm 5'1, so that would have put him at about 5'3 or '4). Now I don't tend to have hard and fast rules about what I'm into but it was a weird dynamic and just didn't really 'fit' for me.

I told him I wasn't really feeling it and he lost the rag at me, 'get over myself' and like I had grounds to discriminate on height when I was as short as I was etc...and this was without me having uttered a thing about his physical stature.

So when you meet a guy who clearly has a massive chip on his shoulder about his height, everything and anything you say or don't say will appear derogatory, even the most benign, matter-of-fact statement such as 'I like tall men'. That's a preference, not a slight against every man everywhere who happens to be less than average height.

you were being heightist..... shame on you:)

Beaner1

beks101 wrote: »

Yeah this.

Over my years of dating the one common theme I found was that height was a particular sore spot for many men, and most would over-estimate (or just plain outright lie) about how tall they were.

It's prolific in online dating.

I remember years ago meeting a guy from a dating site who's profile said he was "5'8". Met up with him and in small heels I was taller than him (I'm 5'1, so that would have put him at about 5'3 or '4). Now I don't tend to have hard and fast rules about what I'm into but it was a weird dynamic and just didn't really 'fit' for me.

I told him I wasn't really feeling it and he lost the rag at me, 'get over myself' and like I had grounds to discriminate on height when I was as short as I was etc...and this was without me having uttered a thing about his physical stature.

So when you meet a guy who clearly has a massive chip on his shoulder about his height, everything and anything you say or don't say will appear derogatory, even the most benign, matter-of-fact statement such as 'I like tall men'. That's a preference, not a slight against every man everywhere who happens to be less than average height.

Small man syndrome. That's why women usually avoid.

BrianD3

enfant terrible wrote: »

How is 5' 9 short?

Take off your shoes and measure your height your probably not 5' 9 if you think your short.

I don't think I'm short. Based on US height stats (I haven't found Irish ones) I'm pretty sure I'm not short.

5'9" is short in the eyes of some clueless, height obsessed women with unrealistic expectations. But well done on turning it around to imply that I don't know how to measure.

Not only am I 5'9 and a bit but i generally wear Cat or Timberland boots with at least 1 inch heel and sometimes ones with 1.5-1.75 inch. I look forward to the day that a woman tells me I'm wearing big boots to compensate for being a "shortarse" while she totters around on her 5 inch stilettos

Beaner1

BrianD3 wrote: »

I don't think I'm short. Based on US height stats (I haven't found Irish ones) I'm pretty sure I'm not short.

5'9" is short in the eyes of some clueless, height obsessed women with unrealistic expectations. But well done on turning it around to imply that I don't know how to measure.

Not only am I 5'9 and a bit but i generally wear Cat or Timberland boots with at least 1 inch heel and sometimes ones with 1.5-1.75 inch. I look forward to the day that a woman tells me I'm wearing big boots to compensate for being a "shortarse" while she totters around on her 5 inch stilettos

Classic chip on your shoulder. Sitting there seething about these imagined slights, ready to lash out with the smallest provocation. Women want a man that's comfortable with himself.

enfant terrible

BrianD3 wrote: »

I don't think I'm short. Based on US height stats (I haven't found Irish ones) I'm pretty sure I'm not short.

5'9" is short in the eyes of some clueless, height obsessed women with unrealistic expectations. But well done on turning it around to imply that I don't know how to measure.

Not only am I 5'9 and a bit but i generally wear Cat or Timberland boots with at least 1 inch heel and sometimes ones with 1.5-1.75 inch. I look forward to the day that a woman tells me I'm wearing big boots to compensate for being a "shortarse" while she totters around on her 5 inch stilettos

So your nearly 5'11 in your heels and still get short comments, weird.

DoYouEvenLift

BrianD3 wrote: »

I don't think I'm short. Based on US height stats (I haven't found Irish ones) I'm pretty sure I'm not short.

5'9" is short in the eyes of some clueless, height obsessed women with unrealistic expectations. But well done on turning it around to imply that I don't know how to measure.

Not only am I 5'9 and a bit but i generally wear Cat or Timberland boots with at least 1 inch heel and sometimes ones with 1.5-1.75 inch. I look forward to the day that a woman tells me I'm wearing big boots to compensate for being a "shortarse" while she totters around on her 5 inch stilettos

You could also probably throw in the likely examples of compensating for her small chest with a push up bra, compensating for her horrible skin and facial features with make up, compensating for her bulging gut by trying to conceal it etc. etc.

There honestly are too many comebacks to destroy some women in these kinds of arguments for them to take the chance to enter one.

Roquentin

Beaner1 wrote: »

Small man syndrome. That's why women usually avoid.

napoleon complex. i knew a guy who was like this. he tried to make up for his perceived height inferiority by being really really obnoxious

catallus

Roquentin wrote: »

you were being heightist..... shame on you:)

The real question here is if the little guy went all red in the face and his arms went all aquiver in impotent rage as he was being silently judged/mocked by yet another unobtainable woman?

Wompa1

Back in my early to mid 20's. I had girls on a night out tell me I was disgusting because I had spots. Was mocked because of my height and was constantly being called a 12 year old due to having a bit of a baby face. At one point I was also mocked because I was working in a shop while going to college (Most students didn't work during college back then)

Then there's also the general f**kery from some. Pushing you out of the way, rolling their eyes at you. I can't count the number of times I've been pushed dismissively out of the way by girls on a night out...even when I wasn't trying to talk to them or even looking at them. There's a lot of arseholes out there...

It's very hurtful but you just have to get over it. I was friends with a lad that was about 6 foot 6...he got women very easily. He once walked into a nightclub with us...he pulled while we were walking to the bar. The girl just saw him coming due to his height and he stuck out from the crowd. But then he just treated them like dirt so I suppose there's a balance there.

Height is obviously a big sore issue for some men, as evidenced here.

If you let it go instead of reacting with fury, you wouldn't be perpetuating the angry short man myth. Resentment is a lot less attractive than short stature, combining the two won't win anyone any admirers.

PucaMama

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

You could also probably throw in the likely examples of compensating for her small chest with a push up bra, compensating for her horrible skin and facial features with make up, compensating for her bulging gut by trying to conceal it etc. etc.

There honestly are too many comebacks to destroy some women in these kinds of arguments for them to take the chance to enter one.

you are being so aggressive, look at your language, id hope thats not the attitude u present to others

raze_them_all_

Candie wrote: »

Height is obviously a big sore issue for some men, as evidenced here.

If you let it go instead of reacting with fury, you wouldn't be perpetuating the angry short man myth. Resentment is a lot less attractive than short stature, combining the two won't win anyone any admirers.

I'm 6'0 and ain't angry about it. I just think the double standard is bizzare