Let's create a story together

gerrybbadd

He'd need those fries for the arduous journey ahead - and also, snap kicks, awesomeness and sexing didn't just fuel themselves.

So, off he set. On the back of his steady steed - Harley. 90ccs of unadulterated aggression, wrapped up in the body of a motor cycle.

Fuzzytrooper

Meanwhile back at the mountain hideout or what he was now calling his "summer retreat" the real Stabby McHobo was enjoying the novelty of having a roof over his head. "I could do with a brew though" he said to the empty cell. A few hours later however and the lack of Dutch Gold was starting to take a toll on the trampy one. His Tramp Rage TM started to grow...

gerrybbadd

....furious at the lack of Dutch Gold, and with an unbridaled refusal to drink the Witches Tit Cider that had been stockpiled previously, Stabby decided it was once again time to venture out into the unknown. Time to make peace with the outdoors. Time, to go Dutch shopping.

He'd need to use all of his tramp cunning, stealth and wit to avoid the treachery he was sure to face on his journey to the local Eurospar in search of his beloved golden ambrosia.

Fuzzytrooper

Despite any logic to the contrary, Stabby's cell in the mountain lair was indeed stocked with a conveniently located Eurospar, no less than 3 luas stops and an Abrakebabra. "Something seems odd about this cell" Stabby said to a random stranger. "But I'm not sure what"

gerrybbadd

The mountain retreat was a system of interjoined caverns, which had been taken over by multi national supermarket chains. The tramp had asked the right stranger, who knew of the history of Mount Mountain, and it's many convenience stores / Off Licences

Fuzzytrooper

As Trampy wandered the endless caverns filled with florescent lights and generic background music it dawned on him - Derek Smart Desktop Commander's nefarious plan was brilliant in its simplicity...

Phase 1: Replace all foods with Smash Potato (in cube format) and Winter Taco ice cream - high energy foods with low preparation time. Leaving everyone with bags more time to play his latest offering: Universal Combat 3050 (A totally new game, really it is. Never seen before and totally revolutionary)


Phase 2: Replaced Dutch Gold with high caffeine energy drinks so those gamers never have to sleep.

gerrybbadd

Phase 3: Take all the clocks of the world, and blow them all up, using explosive devices of varying sizes, depending on the size of the clock. Black Cat bangers would be deployed in the case of wristwatches. Clocks on phones would be erased by the world renowned hacker - Jean Paul LeHak.

Fuzzytrooper

With no sense of time, everyone would become totally engrossed in Derek Smart's thrilling and bug free universe. "I must find Trent and warn him" Stabby said to the cashier in the Abrakebabra. "Good evening to you Stabby." The cashier said lifting his hat to reveal Trent as the head underneath the hat. "Hahaha too easy."

gerrybbadd

Trent already had an inkling of Derek's dastardly plans, and that they were indeed afoot. Stabby took the time to fill him in on the finer details, over a Doner Kebab, scabby fries and smelly diet coke from the Abrakebabra counter.

Trent, upon learning the full extent of the plot was....

leinsterdude

.......feeling very sick, as he realised the Kebab was most likely made from his favourite animal..........yes you guessed it.......horse, in the background a fight started, he decided to get the hello out of there......but where to go to, as he wiped the puke off his nice new Christmas jumper he decided to go to the nightclub......there she was......the girl of his dreams........but what he needed first apart from a packet of mints was ..........

Fuzzytrooper

leinsterdude wrote: »

.......feeling very sick, as he realised the Kebab was most likely made from his favourite animal..........yes you guessed it.......horse, in the background a fight started, he decided to get the hello out of there......but where to go to, as he wiped the puke off his nice new Christmas jumper he decided to go to the nightclub......there she was......the girl of his dreams........but what he needed first apart from a packet of mints was ..........

His hat. 'Now that I have my hat it's time for some pre action Sexing' Trent said to the woman's face. Nomally you would get a slap for saying this but not Trent. He was too manly and smooth for that. 'Wait Boss' Stabby shouted. 'That's no woman, It's Derek Smart Desktop Commander in disguise' from behind his back the evil one pulled out a...

The Edster

The main character died the end

The Edster

The main character died the end

gerrybbadd

What a stupid piece of graffiti though Trent, as he pulled out his flute to have a piss in the toilet of the underground mountain

Fuzzytrooper

gerrybbadd wrote: »

What a stupid piece of graffiti though Trent, as he pulled out his flute to have a piss in the toilet of the underground mountain

Derek Smart Desktop Commander lay behind him on the ground in a bloody heap like a lump of meat and snot and blood that was still alive a little. 'Do you have something to say Sirrrr' Trentsaid as he pulled up his zip and washed his hands.

Robsweezie

''oh won't you you stayyyy with meeeee, cos you're all I neeed'' Derek howled as he burst into a rendition of sam smith mixed with tears.''this aint love, it's clear to see, but darling... stayyy....with...m-'' Derek ceased his singing as he breathed his last.

gerrybbadd

Trent finally understood - Derek actually had feelings for him. In his goolies and stuff.

Snapkick to the penis! Hahaha, laughed Trent. That'll learn him to gay on me.

Fuzzytrooper

Derek Smart didn't think it was possible to fracture a penis up to that point but it was as an X-Ray would have shown. Unfortunately Derek Smart had forgotten to pack his portable X-Ray machine because he didn't expect to get a broken penis when he left the house that morning. "Now tell me where you have put Stabby and the world's supply of Dutch Gold" Trent said as he held Derek Smart by his shirt collar...

gerrybbadd

What happened next left Trent in a state of wonderment. For Derek slithered out of his top, leaving a bemused Trent with the collar of an empty shirt still in his grasp.

And all he could see was Derek's arse wobbling off in a crooked run, no doubt created due to his injuries, and specifically his perfectly 90 degree bent phallus. Derek laughed, then owwwed, then laughed and owwwed once more, before disappearing over the horizon.... which was odd given they were still in a cave system within a Mountain

leinsterdude

gerrybbadd wrote: »

What happened next left Trent in a state of wonderment. For Derek slithered out of his top, leaving a bemused Trent with the collar of an empty shirt still in his grasp.

And all he could see was Derek's arse wobbling off in a crooked run, no doubt created due to his injuries, and specifically his perfectly 90 degree bent phallus. Derek laughed, then owwwed, then laughed and owwwed once more, before disappearing over the horizon.... which was odd given they were still in a cave system within a Mountain

But then Derek remembered, the lsd he took over four hours ago was still raging inside his brain, was this really a cave after all ? Maybe it was a flowing meadow, then he panicked realising he was completely naked and vunrable....Trent he shouted Trent, and he ran and ran and then suddenly from nowhere ...

Miss Lizzie Jones

leinsterdude wrote: »

But then Derek remembered, the lsd he took over four hours ago was still raging inside his brain, was this really a cave after all ? Maybe it was a flowing meadow, then he panicked realising he was completely naked and vunrable....Trent he shouted Trent, and he ran and ran and then suddenly from nowhere ...

... a little old lady with a cake appeared ...

gerrybbadd

Derek was to smart for this Jezebel though. He knew in his heart and soul that she had a bomb beneath the layers of icing, sponge and jam.

And there was no way he was going to get taken down by an aul pissy pants, cabbage smelling, crooked witch like this... Even if he did have a fractured flute...

Fuzzytrooper

Little did he know but the old lady was really Stabby McHobo in disguise. He whipped off the old lady costume in a very dramatic fashion which should really have had some appropriately dramatic music like in Batman or possibly Pacific Rim when a giant robot shows up. "Where's my golden nectar???" the crusty one shouted as he hurled the cake which probably contained a bomb or something equally bomb-like under its delicious frosted layers towards Derek Smart Desktop Commander.

Daveysil15

Her name was Luka, she lived in Poulaphouca.

Fuzzytrooper

Stabby was quite fond of naming his numerous cake bombs. "Farewell Luka" he said as she arched gracefully through the air. "Poulaphouca won't be the same without you..."

gerrybbadd

Hi - Ya!!!! Was the sound that pierced the air - but it wasn't a scobe from dah Noruth Soide ah Dublin greeting her greasy haired friends named Jacinta, Tina & Bleedin' Mary, it was actually Trent!

And he was Hi - Ya'ing to signify the fact he had deployed a class Karate Chop to the flying cake bomb - "Sweet" laughed Trent, as he rendered the explosively delicious threat useless.

uch

Then suddenly, in walked Mr. Nudie and said "Hi, I Like Cake!"

Miss Lizzie Jones

uch wrote: »

Then suddenly, in walked Mr. Nudie and said "Hi, I Like Cake!"

The old lady looked Mr. Nudie up and down licking her lips.

Heraldoffreeent

Miss Lizzie Jones wrote: »

The old lady looked Mr. Nudie up and down licking her lips.

Mr Nudie looked the old lady up and down and thought about licking her lips.

Miss Lizzie Jones

Heraldoffreeent wrote: »

Mr Nudie looked the old lady up and down and thought about licking her lips.

The old lady smiled at Mr. Nudie. He didn't know she had the ability to read the minds of any man within 20 feet of her.