Single life as a guy...

eeguy

Capoeira Dave wrote: »

Approach women in the real world, being good with women is a skill you can learn, don't waste your youth never having had one night stand or casual sex.

Do you even really want a girlfriend without knowing that wimen find you sexy? The only way to know you are becoming sexy is when you see that women regularly want to have casual sex with you.

Fooking ridiculous.

If you HAVE a girlfriend then you know the only woman who matters finds you sexy.

There's a saying that you shouldn't settle down till you've slept with 10 girls. Pile of balls.

If you don't want casual sex, don't have it. IMO casual sex is nowhere near as good as sex in a relationship. Also, if you're in a relationship, sex happens all the time.

Fair play if you get a different girl once or even twice a week, but I'll be getting the ride every night with my gf. Quantity and quality!

OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE

And less chance of a dose of antibiotic resistant gonorrhea^^^

Advbrd

OCEANIC FIZZY POP NINE wrote: »

Is your youth wasted having never had one night stands/casual sex?

I would have to say yes.

Advbrd

Coriander808 wrote: »

When haven't cultivated the ability to attract women in general you leave yourself in a vulnerable position where your partner can control your sex life.

Think of all the men who have to get "permission" to go out for a drink. Basically they allow their girlfriend/wife to control them because to them sex is scarce. When you know you can get sex easily you won't allow anyone to control you.

Anyone who lets their partner 'control' any part of their life is an idiot. Partners are equals. 'Permission' is not needed in a healthy relationship but it does not always suit to pop out for a pint for any number of reasons. Sex life within a partnership is a two way street. If it becomes a control mechanism, get the fook out.

Advbrd

Coriander808 wrote: »

The problem is a lot of men have never cultivated the skillset to be able to walk over to a woman they don't know and begin a sexual relationship. It's such a hugely important skill for men to have.

Take me back 30 years, jesus it's scary saying that. Where did the time go? Life was so simple. It probably wasn't, selective memory is a great thing. Single life in my twenties was brilliant, enjoyed (almost) every moment. I have two kids now and hope they do similar, just don't tell me.

armaghlad

eeguy wrote: »

Fooking ridiculous.

If you HAVE a girlfriend then you know the only woman who matters finds you sexy.

There's a saying that you shouldn't settle down till you've slept with 10 girls. Pile of balls.

If you don't want casual sex, don't have it. IMO casual sex is nowhere near as good as sex in a relationship. Also, if you're in a relationship, sex happens all the time.

Fair play if you get a different girl once or even twice a week, but I'll be getting the ride every night with my gf. Quantity and quality!

Each to their own but I love the thrill of hooking up with someone different. No matter how good the sex is in a relationship, you're still having sex with the same person. That will eventually begin to bore you. Don't get me wrong, a relationship isn't solely defined by sex... but speaking strictly on a sexual level; don't try and tell me you've a better sex life going back to the same girl every night when the eligible bachelor can take his pick from any number of single females. Yes there is the odd dry spell granted (can also happen in a relationship mind you) but that just makes the anticipation and excitement that much better for the next encounter.

Mister Vain

Casual sex is much better with a FWB. A drunken ONS is a different story.

zcorpian88

Another day, another block for absolutely no reason on POF,

Started off with saying "hey I see you're from (the place we're both from) you're a newbie I see."

She replies "Yes, I am"

I say "Cool, I'm from the town, nice to see a new face on here, not too many new faces of late, then again I've only been on here 5 weeks so I'm still kind of new, so how was your weekend, do anything nice with yourself?"

And Blocked after that, wtf!

Safe to say chivalry is dead.

eeguy

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Another day, another block for absolutely no reason on POF,

Started off with saying "hey I see you're from (the place we're both from) you're a newbie I see."

She replies "Yes, I am"

I say "Cool, I'm from the town, nice to see a new face on here, not too many new faces of late, then again I've only been on here 5 weeks so I'm still kind of new, so how was your weekend, do anything nice with yourself?"

And Blocked after that, wtf!

Safe to say chivalry is dead.

Sounds like you're a serial dater. First mistake was asking a yes no question, don't tell anyone how long you're on a site, also personally I like to keep my questions short and snappy.

Why not say "hey, I'm from xxx too, how are you?" and leave it at that?

jobeenfitz

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Another day, another block for absolutely no reason on POF,

Started off with saying "hey I see you're from (the place we're both from) you're a newbie I see."

She replies "Yes, I am"

I say "Cool, I'm from the town, nice to see a new face on here, not too many new faces of late, then again I've only been on here 5 weeks so I'm still kind of new, so how was your weekend, do anything nice with yourself?"

And Blocked after that, wtf!

Safe to say chivalry is dead.

the "do anything nice with yourself?" might have been mis-interpreted, assuming you weren't asking what my dirty mind is thinking.

eeguy

jobeenfitz wrote: »

the "do anything nice with yourself?" might have been mis-interpreted, assuming you weren't asking what my dirty mind is thinking.

That's just you

njs030

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Another day, another block for absolutely no reason on POF,

Started off with saying "hey I see you're from (the place we're both from) you're a newbie I see."

She replies "Yes, I am"

I say "Cool, I'm from the town, nice to see a new face on here, not too many new faces of late, then again I've only been on here 5 weeks so I'm still kind of new, so how was your weekend, do anything nice with yourself?"

And Blocked after that, wtf!

Safe to say chivalry is dead.

You're taking it too much to heart, you're not entitled to a conversation or reply from anyone....she was probably being polite with her first answer and didn't want to get into conversation with you if she wasn't interested. Her reply didn't sound like an invitation to chat tbh

ongarboy

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Another day, another block for absolutely no reason on POF,

Started off with saying "hey I see you're from (the place we're both from) you're a newbie I see."

She replies "Yes, I am"

I say "Cool, I'm from the town, nice to see a new face on here, not too many new faces of late, then again I've only been on here 5 weeks so I'm still kind of new, so how was your weekend, do anything nice with yourself?"

And Blocked after that, wtf!

Safe to say chivalry is dead.

Agreed with other posters. Less is more when engaging in initial conversation on dating sites I would think. Information overload in those very first few sentences and questions just comes across as overkill and an eagerness that would be off putting to some I'd suspect. Your post highlighted above in bold had 7 statements or questions in one go.

I'm from town.
Nice to see a new face on here.
Not too many new faces of late.
I've only been on here 5 weeks.
I'm still kind of new.
How was your weekend?
Do anything nice?

Nothing wrong with any of those comments or questions per se in isolation but altogether is too much and draining. I'd have gone for the how was weekend question first and await a response. Her response as to what she got up to could then have led to a naturally evolving icebreaker conversation about the bar, club, restaurant, hill walk, babysitting, Netfiix, rugby match, book launch she attended which you could have responded accordingly "great match, I love that show, I had my birthday at that restaurant, I did that walk last summer.....etc etc"

I'd have left out the length of time you've been on the site or your familiarity with the current talent pool as that is not going to impress her either way.

She may just not have got excited by your face pic either but similarly there will be plenty of women that will not do it for you either and it is each dater's prerogative to not engage if someone doesn't float their boat. It's not from a lack of chivalry. Dating is a tough game and most certainly a numbers game so you need to be more resilient and not so sensitive either. Rejections are not personal.

Carlos Orange

ongarboy wrote: »

it is each dater's prerogative to not engage if someone doesn't float their boat

It is, and even if it wasn't they will anyway but maybe a block feels a bit more aggressive than just being honest or ignoring him and letting him work it out himself.

Mister Vain

Do you do less "chasing" as you get older? Approaching girls in nightclubs is not a great option if you're in your 30's, and the cold approach in general just doesn't seem right now. I guess I'm not really going out of my way to meet people anymore and am doing my own thing and going with the flow, hoping on the off chance that I'll meet someone through work or hobbies.

armaghlad

Mister Vain wrote: »

Do you do less "chasing" as you get older? Approaching girls in nightclubs is not a great option if you're in your 30's, and the cold approach in general just doesn't seem right now. I guess I'm not really going out of my way to meet people anymore and am doing my own thing and going with the flow, hoping on the off chance that I'll meet someone through work or hobbies.

I think with social media and o/d that "chasing" has evolved somewhat. It's a lot easier to alternate between "chasing" and "not chasing" with everything at the click of a button. I don't really chase as much because there are now so many options out there. If a girl doesn't show any interest I say **** it and move on to the next. Less effort required nowadays. When I was in my late teens it was hard graft that got me some lovin.. nowadays it's almost effortless.

Mister Vain

armaghlad wrote: »

I think with social media and o/d that "chasing" has evolved somewhat. It's a lot easier to alternate between "chasing" and "not chasing" with everything at the click of a button. I don't really chase as much because there are now so many options out there. If a girl doesn't show any interest I say **** it and move on to the next. Less effort required nowadays. When I was in my late teens it was hard graft that got me some lovin.. nowadays it's almost effortless.

I don't think its effortless but yeah I suppose there are a lot more options now. Before facebook and tinder, you had to put in a lot more effort in the real world.

Kal El

Mister Vain wrote: »

Do you do less "chasing" as you get older? Approaching girls in nightclubs is not a great option if you're in your 30's, and the cold approach in general just doesn't seem right now. I guess I'm not really going out of my way to meet people anymore and am doing my own thing and going with the flow, hoping on the off chance that I'll meet someone through work or hobbies.

I find it got way easier. As a young lad I would chase/ fall in love with any girl that talked to me. Now at 30, well from like 25 on I just got bored and realised girls werent that great or scary or anything I thought about them. It made well getting girls a whole lot easier

bcklschaps

As a man in my 40's I don't do any chasing. If I'm in a bar....I won't even take a few steps closer to a woman to start a conversation. If she literally stands in front of me, I will engage in light flirting.

But I certainly don't put myself around nearly as much as I did in my teens/twenties. I guess I have realised through experience that relationships are complicated, expensive and ultimately unfulfilling.

Not sure how socially acceptable it is to admit this, but nowadays, if I feel the pressure, I just go out and pay for it. Its all ahead of you guys !!

maregal

I've never bothered with it myself but this whole online dating thing seems like a massive timesink. From what I can see, it could take a week before you actually match with a girl. Then another week of texting before you meet face to face (where you have the pleasure of buying her dinner and having to entertain the princess lol). At the end of the date you lean in for the kiss but she gives you an awkward side-hug goodbye. You pay for her taxi. Then spend the next few days wondering if she wants to meet up again before being blocked only to start the whole process again while your ballsack grows increasingly blue.

Imagine if you invested all that time at the gym instead. You would be doing something productive for you, and would then naturally attract a higher rank of female without all the BS of online protocol.

eeguy

bcklschaps wrote: »

As a man in my 40's I don't do any chasing. If I'm in a bar....I won't even take a few steps closer to a woman to start a conversation. If she literally stands in front of me, I will engage in light flirting.

But I certainly don't put myself around nearly as much as I did in my teens/twenties. I guess I have realised through experience that relationships are complicated, expensive and ultimately unfulfilling.

Not sure how socially acceptable it is to admit this, but nowadays, if I feel the pressure, I just go out and pay for it. Its all ahead of you guys !!

I'm near my 30's and have had 3 proper relationships, 5, 3 and two years. I have no regrets now they're ended, but they were the best years of my life, having a partner in crime to go on adventures with. I'm on the hunt for the next PIC at the moment and looking forward to more fulfilling years ahead.

maregal wrote: »

I've never bothered with it myself but this whole online dating thing seems like a massive timesink. From what I can see, it could take a week before you actually match with a girl. Then another week of texting before you meet face to face (where you have the pleasure of buying her dinner and having to entertain the princess lol). At the end of the date you lean in for the kiss but she gives you an awkward side-hug goodbye. You pay for her taxi. Then spend the next few days wondering if she wants to meet up again before being blocked only to start the whole process again while your ballsack grows increasingly blue.

Imagine if you invested all that time at the gym instead. You would be doing something productive for you, and would then naturally attract a higher rank of female without all the BS of online protocol.

Depends on how you approach it.
For me, I got 10 matches in an hour, one of which messaged me first. Had a chat with her over text for an hour, said goodnight and gave her my number. the next day we arranged to meet at the weekend. Went out, I offered to pay but she wanted to split the bill, few drinks, great chat, got the shift and said goodnight.
Got a few more dates with her before realising it wasn't going to work, more my faults than hers in fairness.

And back to Tinder.

Compare this with the last time I was single, about 5 years ago, it could be 3 months between dates, mostly just out ever weekend chasing and getting nowhere. Tinder is great.

Emme

bcklschaps wrote: »

As a man in my 40's I don't do any chasing. If I'm in a bar....I won't even take a few steps closer to a woman to start a conversation. If she literally stands in front of me, I will engage in light flirting.

But I certainly don't put myself around nearly as much as I did in my teens/twenties. I guess I have realised through experience that relationships are complicated, expensive and ultimately unfulfilling.

Not sure how socially acceptable it is to admit this, but nowadays, if I feel the pressure, I just go out and pay for it. Its all ahead of you guys !!

As a man in your 40s you should have no problem whatsoever attracting women unless you're being unrealistic and only talk to supermodels in the 16-24 age group who stand in front of you. If you want to meet genuine women join something like meetup with no expectations and take it from there. You can take your time and get to know people while doing something you enjoy.

maregal wrote: »

I've never bothered with it myself but this whole online dating thing seems like a massive timesink. From what I can see, it could take a week before you actually match with a girl. Then another week of texting before you meet face to face (where you have the pleasure of buying her dinner and having to entertain the princess lol). At the end of the date you lean in for the kiss but she gives you an awkward side-hug goodbye. You pay for her taxi. Then spend the next few days wondering if she wants to meet up again before being blocked only to start the whole process again while your ballsack grows increasingly blue.

Imagine if you invested all that time at the gym instead. You would be doing something productive for you, and would then naturally attract a higher rank of female without all the BS of online protocol.

No need to go to the gym. Join a bootcamp class and you will meet plenty of people and have great fun into the bargain. There are plenty of great women in bootcamp classes too and lots of social nights out to mingle with them.

eeguy wrote: »

I'm near my 30's and have had 3 proper relationships, 5, 3 and two years. I have no regrets now they're ended, but they were the best years of my life, having a partner in crime to go on adventures with. I'm on the hunt for the next PIC at the moment and looking forward to more fulfilling years ahead.

Depends on how you approach it.
For me, I got 10 matches in an hour, one of which messaged me first. Had a chat with her over text for an hour, said goodnight and gave her my number. the next day we arranged to meet at the weekend. Went out, I offered to pay but she wanted to split the bill, few drinks, great chat, got the shift and said goodnight.
Got a few more dates with her before realising it wasn't going to work, more my faults than hers in fairness.

And back to Tinder.

Compare this with the last time I was single, about 5 years ago, it could be 3 months between dates, mostly just out ever weekend chasing and getting nowhere. Tinder is great.

Tinder is great but seems to be better for short-term hookups than for long-term relationships. If that's what you want fair enough but if you're looking for a relationship there has never been a better time to join clubs and meetups. Go online and the world is your oyster.

Two of my friends (women in their 40s) are dating men they met through clubs they found out about online. If women in their 40s can meet somebody these days there's no excuse for anyone else unless they live in the uninhabitable depths of the midlands or on an oil rig. Only your attitude is holding you back.

Cotts72

Met my last girlfriend through Tinder. we broke up at the end of summer so I decided to give POF and Tinder another ago and throw myself back out there. I get more attention on POF but prefer Tinder whereby I haven't had much success. Matched with a girl lately and things looked up,chatted for a week or so everyday and really got into it. last week she hinted at me in a message to ask her out to which I did and she stopped replying all of a sudden without reason and hasn't made contact since. its wrecked my head and definitely dented my confidence in a way.... I just don't understand women at times

Surreptitious

Ok so I set up a fake profile which is very obviously fake. The girl looks about 19 yet I put her down to be in her mid 30s. She has no education to speak of and I deliberately made the profile with bad spelling and little information. She got 700 views today and 200 messages.
I have two degrees and a master's, I have genuine pictures and a well written profile yet I get no views or messages. Either I am one fugly biatch or men go for the well made up look. Only one guy sussed out it was fake out of all of them. I honestly despair with it all and I'm female. Obviously she is a model and I can't look like her plus I'm older but who falls for this rubbish?
And there wasn't one dirty message where all my messages are basically straight out asking for sex. There is something wrong somewhere.

tomwaterford

Surreptitious wrote: »

Ok so I set up a fake profile which is very obviously fake. The girl looks about 19 yet I put her down to be in her mid 30s. She has no education to speak of and I deliberately made the profile with bad spelling and little information. She got 700 views today and 200 messages.
I have two degrees and a master's, I have genuine pictures and a well written profile yet I get no views or messages. Either I am one fugly biatch or men go for the well made up look. Only one guy sussed out it was fake out of all of them. I honestly despair with it all and I'm female. Obviously she is a model and I can't look like her plus I'm older but who falls for this rubbish?
And there wasn't one dirty message where all my messages are basically straight out asking for sex. There is something wrong somewhere.

Your not the first I seen to set up a fake profile


But why do people bother??
What is ti gain from it??
Its usually the same people want complain there's noone genuine on online dating either

Surreptitious

tomwaterford wrote: »

Your not the first I seen to set up a fake profile


But why do people bother??
What is ti gain from it??
Its usually the same people want complain there's noone genuine on online dating either

I did it to see why I get all the horrible messages and why other women don't have the same problem. I didn't answer any of the messages on the fake profile so led nobody on. I just wanted a man's view on why some women are purely used for sex and others are treated like queens. I was wondering is it how I look or something and I was proved right. I wasn't trying it on with any of them and the profile is obviously fake.

tomwaterford

Surreptitious wrote: »

I did it to see why I get all the horrible messages and why other women don't have the same problem. I didn't answer any of the messages on the fake profile so led nobody on. I just wanted a man's view on why some women are purely used for sex and others are treated like queens. I was wondering is it how I look or something and I was proved right. I wasn't trying it on with any of them and the profile is obviously fake.

What website are you using as 700 views and 200 messages seems alot of traffic???

I struggle to believe even pof gets that much traffic as my friend living in London (teaching atm) got nothing like them numbers??

Surreptitious

POF. Believe you me, it surprised me as well. If only I was beautiful

Rekop dog

Surreptitious wrote: »

I did it to see why I get all the horrible messages and why other women don't have the same problem. I didn't answer any of the messages on the fake profile so led nobody on. I just wanted a man's view on why some women are purely used for sex and others are treated like queens. I was wondering is it how I look or something and I was proved right. I wasn't trying it on with any of them and the profile is obviously fake.

Generally if a woman is attractive enough you wouldn't risk messing it up by asking for hook up straight away. Whereas the women lads ask for sex straight away would be the highly unattractive ones where they wouldn't give a jot if they reject them or not, if the girl says no, then 'meh she's ugly anyway' if they say yes then 'easy sex'.

Surreptitious

Rekop dog wrote: »

Generally if a woman is attractive enough you wouldn't risk messing it up by asking for hook up straight away. Whereas the women lads ask for sex straight away would be the highly unattractive ones where they wouldn't give a jot if they reject them or not, if the girl says no, then 'meh she's ugly anyway' if they say yes then 'easy sex'.

Ok so I'm ugly then. Kinda guessed anyway.