What women like in men...

EdenHazard

Coleman Slawski wrote: »

Translation - I cant grow a beard yet so its obviously a fad.

:pac:

Actually grow a decent beard, but meh. clean shaven master race

Sauve

EdenHazard wrote: »

Actually grow a decent beard, but meh. clean shaven master race

Mod
Poster banned, please don't respond to this post.

LegacyUser

Height in a man isnt everything for me in a man. I dont see why there is such importance placed on height.

I see a few posts on here that say guys should be quite tall. But im quite short for a woman and i have been with guys who have been too tall for me. And honestly it makes things awkward.

Physical attributes for me would be:

Shoulders/Arms/Hands: Something about shoulders and arms turn me on. I think its the security when they have their arms around you.

Nice Arse: Who doesnt love an arse?! I like playing with them. Something to grab onto :pac:

I love a beard on a man but i prefer stubble, and clean shaven is great too. Penis size, average is perfect but really as long as he knows what he is doing its all good.

Personailty:

I like a good personality, someone who is nice, caring, funny, someone who will actually shout back in an argument if one happens.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Middle Man wrote: »

1) Buttocks - What's the big deal??? ;

Tell me about it..

Walked out of the IFI last week (around 10pm) and my mind was still on the docu I had just seen (about some scrap metal worker who couldn't afford to take his wife to hospital - they lived in Russia) and just as I began to walk towards Temple Bar, two English women grabbed me, lifted the back of my jacket, while their friend exposed my posterity to all an sundry! I kid you not. They then preceded to run off screaming and laughing.

I just froze and stood there open mouthed, as did most people around. Crazy fcukers.

If anyone knows who they might have been, please PM me their number :P

Lou.m

Mayweather vs Maidana wrote: »

Maybe it felt to her like you were buying her time, that you felt beneath her. I think most women essentially like a man who is cooler than they are in order to have chemistry.

Little tip don't ever in any way make it seem like you are buying a girls time or trying to impress her with money.

It makes us feel ...ugh...it's very insulting and hurtful. Anyway you will totally attract the wrong type of girl.

I like warmth. We like guys who we are passionate about to be passionately into us....cool is not passionate.

batistuta9

Morf wrote: »

Recent?

Hardly!

The Wild Bunch wrote: »

Not getting this recent beard fad........

Coleman Slawski wrote: »

Translation - I cant grow a beard yet so its obviously a fad.

:pac:

he's actually right, have you not noticed how popular they've become over the past year or so?
the amount of men with facial hair has exploded in popularity, there's even been a rise in beard transplants

i read recently a study found that men with beards are considered more attractive when they're not popular

The Wild Bunch

batistuta9 wrote: »

he's actually right, have you not noticed how popular they've become over the past year or so?
the amount of men with facial hair has exploded in popularity, there's even been a rise in beard transplants

i read recently a study found that men with beards are considered more attractive when they're not popular

Bloody hipsters lol, they have a lot to answer for

lufties

Mayweather vs Maidana wrote: »

Maybe it felt to her like you were buying her time, that you felt beneath her. I think most women essentially like a man who is cooler than they are in order to have chemistry.

Nah not really, she said she is soon to lose her job so I said I'd be a gent and treat her. In fairness if it was the other was round I wouldn't think a girl was beneath me for buying me dinner.....In all honesty, looking back there was not much chemistry and I tried to ignore it, Because being single generally sucks, I took the attitude of 'she'll do', which never works in the long run.

lufties

In the past women have commented on my height (I'm 5'8), this leads me to believe that height is an important factor, also I reckon looks and poise is very important, sad as it to say. Normally good looking men with a good dress sense get the attractive woman. Body language is a big thing, how you carry yourself, eye contact.

Confidence is one that baffles me always, I am confident in myself but have just ended up in the nice guy zone on more occasions than I'd like to remember. PUAs talk about teasing women, there is a fine line with this as you can either come across as either lame or insulting.

Personally, my biggest fear when it comes to attracting the opposite sex is being seen as bland or a nice guy, its happened a few times. For some reason this is gut wrenching, I'd rather be called an ugly bastard than be considered 'nice n' bland', as this indicates that you do not possess the masculine traits that the lady desires, leaving you feeling angry, frustrated and depressed.

Its a feckin' war zone out there :eek:

ancapailldorcha

lufties wrote: »

In the past women have commented on my height (I'm 5'8), this leads me to believe that height is an important factor...

I was told by a few girls I used to work with that a lot of girls will outright refuse to even consider dating someone who's shorter than them and any potential partner must be a few inches taller to compensate for when she's wearing heels.
They also told me that an awful lot of black women will only date Caucasian men. I don't know if anyone here's ever heard that one.

NordieSteve

The whole "tall, dark handsome" thing is drummed into young girls through the medium of disney movies then later in the likes of sex & the city etc. I can't see a similar campaign of "big boobs, slinky curves and peachy arse" getting a good reception, would probably get labelled sexist or something.

lufties

NordieSteve wrote: »

The whole "tall, dark handsome" thing is drummed into young girls through the medium of disney movies then later in the likes of sex & the city etc. I can't see a similar campaign of "big boobs, slinky curves and peachy arse" getting a good reception, would probably get labelled sexist or something.

women are very choosey in the western world generally, its getting more and more competitive, as I found out the other day after getting my P45. I was shell shocked, after spending a year in Asia and having success with beautiful women, then to be told by a very average english girl that she wasn't attracted to me, was certainly hard to take.

beks101

Christ the last few posts here have smacked of bruised ego and bitterness.

A woman not being attracted to you is not some kind of personal affront or some kind of expression of superiority - nor is it because her physical preference has been based on fcuking Sex and the City and she has no mind of her own in determining what she personally finds attractive :rolleyes:

It's just LIFE - sometimes you'll feel chemistry, sometimes you won't. Sometimes you'll fall in love, sometimes you'll get dumped, and that works both ways by the way. I've been given the brush off by many non Brad Pitt types despite the fact that many others have found me attractive, and that doesn't mean that those 'average' men were too 'choosy' or spoilt for choice - it just means that for those particular individuals, it wasn't there, and that might have been for any number of reasons or none at all.

There's FAR more to attraction than looks to women, as this thread alone will testify to, and I'd suggest to the above poster that something like an arrogant attitude - 'settling' for an 'average' girl just because you can't bear to be single while clearly secretly thinking you're better than her - is ten times more off-putting than any physical trait I can think of.

Is it so hard to accept that someone might just not be that into you, without it being some sort of reflection on how 'deluded' you seem to think women are these days?

NordieSteve

beks101 wrote: »

Christ the last few posts here have smacked of bruised ego and bitterness.

A woman not being attracted to you is not some kind of personal affront or some kind of expression of superiority - nor is it because her physical preference has been based on fcuking Sex and the City and she has no mind of her own in determining what she personally finds attractive :rolleyes:

It's just LIFE - sometimes you'll feel chemistry, sometimes you won't. Sometimes you'll fall in love, sometimes you'll get dumped, and that works both ways by the way. I've been given the brush off by many non Brad Pitt types despite the fact that many others have found me attractive, and that doesn't mean that those 'average' men were too 'choosy' or spoilt for choice - it just means that for those particular individuals, it wasn't there, and that might have been for any number of reasons or none at all.

There's FAR more to attraction than looks to women, as this thread alone will testify to, and I'd suggest to the above poster that something like an arrogant attitude - 'settling' for an 'average' girl just because you can't bear to be single while clearly secretly thinking you're better than her - is ten times more off-putting than any physical trait I can think of.

Is it so hard to accept that someone might just not be that into you, without it being some sort of reflection on how 'deluded' you seem to think women are these days?

Again, all you have to do is look at a vast array of online dating profiles to prove the points made. Nobody said it was "all women" either,. Saying it's bruised ego or arrogance is putting a wet blanket over what people experience and smacks of being dismissive, another unattractive trait.

beks101

NordieSteve wrote: »

Again, all you have to do is look at a vast array of online dating profiles to prove the points made. Nobody said it was "all women" either,. Saying it's bruised ego or arrogance is putting a wet blanket over what people experience and smacks of being dismissive, another unattractive trait.

It's food for thought from a female perspective though. If you're struggling to attract women, or at least the women you'd like to attract, it's never a bad idea to reflect on your own habits and behaviours and thought patterns.

The number one thing that used to turn me off someone when I was single was that very negativity, the "me versus women" thing, the projection of preconceived ideas upon me as the next woman in line in front of a guy that clearly was incapable of a bit of self-reflection.

beks101

beks101 wrote: »

It's food for thought from a female perspective though. If you're struggling to attract women, or at least the women you'd like to attract, it's never a bad idea to reflect on your own habits and behaviours and thought patterns.

The number one thing that used to turn me off someone when I was single was that very negativity, the "me versus women" thing, the projection of preconceived ideas upon me as the next woman in line in front of a guy that clearly was incapable of a bit of self-reflection.

Send almost a hundred messages on an online dating site without replies and tell me there's more than looks to it. :pac:

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

beks101 wrote: »

Christ the last few posts here have smacked of bruised ego and bitterness.

I think that is very unfair and I don't see what makes you think you should be able to attack users personally like that. I get that you don't appreciate what they have to say, but surely there is a way of articulating your feelings without resorting to that cliched old 'ah you're just bitter' line.

Sauve

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

I think that is very unfair and I don't see what makes you think you should be able to attack users personally like that. I get that you don't appreciate what they have to say, but surely there is a way of articulating your feelings without resorting to that cliched old 'ah you're just bitter' line.

Mod

If you have an issue with a post/poster, please report it and let the mods handle it rather than backseat moderating. It's unhelpful and drags threads off topic.
Thanks,
Sauve.

lufties

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

I think that is very unfair and I don't see what makes you think you should be able to attack users personally like that. I get that you don't appreciate what they have to say, but surely there is a way of articulating your feelings without resorting to that cliched old 'ah you're just bitter' line.

Struggling to attract women is a complete nightmare, as a man you have natural desires but just get shot down most of the time and hence proceeding to settle for what you can get. I have bought into that PUA stuff as I felt like it was a last resort because its quite depressing not being able to attract women. of course the PUA material is generally rubbush.

A poster mentioned about thought process, I don't really agree with that. I've been witty, always positive, acted laid back, spoke with a deep voice..every frigging thing, but to not much avail. So I can only conclude that some men have it and some don't. If you are tall dark handsome you will always do better than a short, balding guy. its just human nature.

Sauve

Mod

As per the charter, discussion of PUA methods and techniques are not allowed on this forum.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

lufties wrote: »

Struggling to attract women is a complete nightmare, as a man you have natural desires but just get shot down most of the time and hence proceeding to settle for what you can get. I have bought into that PUA stuff as I felt like it was a last resort because its quite depressing not being able to attract women. of course the PUA material is generally rubbush.

A poster mentioned about thought process, I don't really agree with that. I've been witty, always positive, acted laid back, spoke with a deep voice..every frigging thing, but to not much avail.

Christ man, don't do any of the above. I get that it's difficult to find a girl but you're better off alone than with someone that is attracted to you only because you have worked that hard to attract them. I mean: would you even enjoy yourself if you had to keep your mind on doing those things when you were with them. I know I wouldn't.

So I can only conclude that some men have it and some don't. If you are tall dark handsome you will always do better than a short, balding guy. its just human nature.

Well, imo, there is so much bs around these days about how guys need to do x, y and z so that they can be attractive to women. It really is mostly rubbish. Was out with a few people (g'f and another couple) last week and there were two girls sitting close to us and they had a stream of guys trying to chat to them all night. Not once did these girls answer one question they were asked either politely or even what would be deemed an appropriate response. Nope, all they did was dismiss lads off with responses such as: we're having a private conversation; not interested; no no no no (this last one was done by one of them as she just put her back to two guy's faces that just said Hi to them and looked as if they were about to try and chat them up.

We had a little bet between us whether or not they would have allow any men to talk to them. They did, and they were two of the smarmiest sounding (and looking) guys you have ever seen. They looked like male models but, as if they had just left a barbers and a tailors to boot. They initially asked the girls if they could recommend somewhere local to eat (it was 3am) and as the girls were answering, they interrupted them and said there was a party in their place in Templeogue, and would they come (thereby admitting their opening question was just a line, but the girls didn't seem to care). I was shoulder to shoulder with one of the guys (place was packed) and he leaned in and told one of the girls how her eye lashes were so long and then preceded to kiss her, which she welcomed with great gusto and not long after jumped in a cab with them.

That's just one story of course, but there was nothing surprising there for me, have seen this kind of thing all my life. Looks, been well dressed and well groomed opens sooooo many doors with regards to attracting women. The more boxes you tick, the better, but personality has little if anything to do with attracting women who don't know who you are in my experience. You can be soundest, funniest, confident, most easy going bloke in the world, but if you're not atheistically pleasing, that won't matter a jot.

Of course, that's not always the case but from my experience and from what I have seen with my friends (if I was just with them when out with my g/f) as they were trying to get talking to girls they liked, that is how it has always been.

I think if you are not great looking or the tallest (like myself) then the best way to meet girls is through friends of your mate's girlfriends as then you will have the opportunity to talk to them without everything you do and say being considered a possible chat up line. It's chalk and cheese as to whether you are trying to chat to girls you don't know, than to girls who are friends with your friends.

It's a tired old cliche I know, but when trying to attract girls who have no idea who you are, always, always be yourself, never do or say anything that you wouldn't were the girl just someone you have always known, orwent to school with etc. As at least that way, if some girl does like you and is attracted to you, it will be for who you are day in day out and then should a relationship develop out of it, it is far more likely to last as result.

tl:dr

Dress how you want to dress. Say want you want to say. Express yourself precisely how you want to express yourself. Then, whenever a girl does like what she sees, it will be because she is attracted to you and not some facade you have adopted in an effort to appear worthy of their attention.

stpaddy99

the women round here love the cast of the valleys (utter trash show off mtv) yet when bob dylan was in town , my missus didnt want to know , i actually went alone and it was mainly middle aged blokes and some partners. most stuff with women (especially younger)has to be seen as cool and fashionable plus they have to get their friends approval. and that goes for boyfriends too

RDM_83 again

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

Well, imo, there is so much bs around these days about how guys need to do x, y and z so that they can be attractive to women. It really is mostly rubbish. Was out with a few people (g'f and another couple) last week and there were two girls sitting close to us and they had a stream of guys trying to chat to them all night. Not once did these girls answer one question they were asked either politely or even what would be deemed an appropriate response. Nope, all they did was dismiss lads off with responses such as: we're having a private conversation; not interested; no no no no (this last one was done by one of them as she just put her back to two guy's faces that just said Hi to them and looked as if they were about to try and chat them up.

We had a little bet between us whether or not they would have allow any men to talk to them. They did, and they were two of the smarmiest sounding (and looking) guys you have ever seen. They looked like male models but, as if they had just left a barbers and a tailors to boot. They initially asked the girls if they could recommend somewhere local to eat (it was 3am) and as the girls were answering, they interrupted them and said there was a party in their place in Templeogue, and would they come (thereby admitting their opening question was just a line, but the girls didn't seem to care). I was shoulder to shoulder with one of the guys (place was packed) and he leaned in and told one of the girls how her eye lashes were so long and then preceded to kiss her, which she welcomed with great gusto and not long after jumped in a cab with them.

That's just one story of course, but there was nothing surprising there for me, have seen this kind of thing all my life. Looks, been well dressed and well groomed opens sooooo many doors with regards to attracting women. The more boxes you tick, the better, but personality has little if anything to do with attracting women who don't know who you are in my experience. You can be soundest, funniest, confident, most easy going bloke in the world, but if you're not atheistically pleasing, that won't matter a jot.

Of course, that's not always the case but from my experience and from what I have seen with my friends (if I was just with them when out with my g/f) as they were trying to get talking to girls they liked, that is how it has always been.

Its been a long time since I was single but I presume this was in a certain type of nightclub, I think those places just boil everything down to looks and cockyness. While it would be stupid to say that physical attractiveness isn't a huge factor, back in the day I would literally never score in a nightclub but I would in indie/rock places or parties I don't think my physical 'attractiveness' changed but in the other places a lot of other factors probably came into play like actually being able to talk and being more at ease in those surroundings myself (I was always a bit useless anyway though ).

What I do find interesting is that since myself and my group of male friends from college (who are all nice enough guys) have been about 22/23 we have all either been in a relationship with a nice woman or the handful that are single been successful with woman, while before that this wouldn't have been the case at all. It makes me wonder because I don't think "we" changed that much in those two years the situation 'romantically' was completely different.

mikom

stpaddy99 wrote: »

the women round here love the cast of the valleys (utter trash show off mtv)

Seriously........ Move away........ if at all possible.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Its been a long time since I was single but I presume this was in a certain type of nightclub..

No, just The Stag's Head off Exchequer St.

I don't think that in general girls are that rude but I do think that most girls have a fair idea of how good looking a guy they are capable of attracting and so will tend to only give positive signals (eye contact etc) to those guys, which is of course understandable.

When I use to be out hoping to hook up, I would only ever approach a girl who had made eye contact with me at least twice. If I had glanced at them a few times and got no response, then I just wouldn't waste my time going further. I think the eyes say it all and if you haven't managed to be successful with some eye flirtation, then the chances are you would just be wasting your time attempting to strike up a conversation.

I have a mate who almost every woman will make eye contact with. Walking down the street, in supermarkets, when they are with other men, doesn't matter, they will even do double takes and stare into his eyes. He's just that good looking.. and married. Point is, women flirt and send signals with their eyes a lot. Nothing, in my opinion, will tell you more if a girl is interested in you, or even open to you approaching her, more than her eyes will. Even the shyest of girls will make a little contact with guys they fancy.

beks101

I don't think there's anything particularly groundbreaking about the fact that confident, well-groomed and good-looking men will attract the most attention in bars and clubs, places where the visual comes first and foremost for both sexes. Just like their female counterparts will.

I was never into the scene that much myself (mainly for that reason - women have to compete too, you know), any time I did go out with the intention of scoring during my single days I'd ramp up the physical too. Hair, makeup, heels, sexy clothes. I'd never dress in a way that I felt uncomfortable or out of character, but it's not rocket science - the more of an effort you make to stand out in these places, the more you will. And the male attention would respond accordingly.

But I think you have to think about the woman in question too when you're trying to pull in these places. Personally, 'smarmy' is a major, instant turn-off. Over groomed, cocky, slightly metrosexual...I'm surrounded by them in London and it's just no. Insufferable, painful. Those two women you observed didn't sound exactly charming themselves, let me guess, they too we're a bit over-groomed? Caked in makeup? A bit arrogant? Like will attract like.

But there's no denying a bit of effort will go a long way if hooking up in these places is your intention. And even if you're not some glowing adonis of absolute sexiness, there are things you can do to cater to your looks and up your chances. Work out a sh1t tonne. Dress to impress.

I always found much greater comfort and success in attracting like-minded guys in less artificial settings where personality plays more of a part and there's maybe a greater level of openness because you're amongst friends. House parties, work nights out, places where you're likely to be in your comfort zone and meeting friends of friends.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

beks101 wrote: »

I don't think there's anything particularly groundbreaking about the fact that confident, well-groomed and good-looking men will attract the most attention in bars and clubs, places where the visual comes first and foremost for both sexes. Just like their female counterparts will.

My comments were not meant to be groundbreaking nor were they about how men should get "attention". They were made in an attempt to destroy this oft trotted out opinion that if a guy is getting the cold shoulder from girls, that he must be doing something wrong and that he must need to work on some aspect of his approach or even his personality. My point was that most of the time when guys get rejected in a pub / club setting, it has little if anything to do with things which they have control over. It's annoying seeing guys get comments thrown at them suggesting they must have come across a desperate, or were leering, said the wrong thing etc, as most of the time it was just that they did not have what these women were looking for, for one reason or another and no amount of working on their self esteem or approach would have made the slightest bit of difference.

I was never into the scene that much myself (mainly for that reason - women have to compete too, you know), any time I did go out with the intention of scoring during my single days I'd ramp up the physical too. Hair, makeup, heels, sexy clothes. I'd never dress in a way that I felt uncomfortable or out of character, but it's not rocket science - the more of an effort you make to stand out in these places, the more you will. And the male attention would respond accordingly.

Well, most times when guys voice the opinion that they feel women dress in order to compete, they get shot down and told that women don't do that at all. Indeed I was just reading a recent thread on that very topic and the guys who said this, were accused of having issues with women. So nice to see a woman admit that this can indeed be the case and that competing is a factor for women when they are deciding what to wear on a night out.

But I think you have to think about the woman in question too when you're trying to pull in these places. Personally, 'smarmy' is a major, instant turn-off. Over groomed, cocky, slightly metrosexual...I'm surrounded by them in London and it's just no. Insufferable, painful. Those two women you observed didn't sound exactly charming themselves, let me guess, they too we're a bit over-groomed? Caked in makeup? A bit arrogant? Like will attract like.

No, just dressed in nice dresses, not much make-up. Lovely looking girls actually, hence the attention they were getting I guess.

But there's no denying a bit of effort will go a long way if hooking up in these places is your intention. And even if you're not some glowing adonis of absolute sexiness, there are things you can do to cater to your looks and up your chances. Work out a sh1t tonne. Dress to impress.

Absolutely, dressing well can help and once guys aren't wearing something which they don't feel themselves in, then that is a way to go for sure, yes. As for working out though, I'm not sure that I agree men should be working out a "sh1t tonne" just to attract women. Seems a little extreme and calculated to me. If it's something they do anyway and women being attracted to them is just a byproduct of that, then fine, no problem with that.

I always found much greater comfort and success in attracting like-minded guys in less artificial settings where personality plays more of a part and there's maybe a greater level of openness because you're amongst friends. House parties, work nights out, places where you're likely to be in your comfort zone and meeting friends of friends.

Agreed and as I said earlier, these are the situations where not everything you say will be seen as an attempted chat up line and so for sure, a guy's (or girl's) personality will get a chance to shine far more in these situations than it would in a pub / club environment. Met my own g/f through event promotion in fact, which we were both doing on a voluntarily basis as it happens and at 5 10", she was a full two inches taller than me too. Thankfully though, she is a biker chick and doesn't wear high heels all that often.

Which is another overlooked aspect of trying to meet a girl I think: hanging out where the type of girls you tend to like would be more likely to hang out also, as I had mates who hated nightclubs and yet kept going to them and they never liked the girls they would hook up with for ONSs (enough to start a relationship with at least) and it wasn't until they went on dates with girls they met in day to day settings (work, leisure time interests etc) who were also doing the same things as them, that they then ended up meeting their long term partners.

the blunder years

I have to agree wishiwasabittaller the whole calculated thing is wrong, you can't have a mental check list of things it will get to you. As far as the dress to impress thing, I'm believer in a little effort goes a long way rather than whole lot of cost to impress some random person in the of chance of something happening.
This is just a taught go to club nights or join groups that cater to your interest, if their is something of interest that you like you'll find like minded people, rather than some never ending treasure hunt in some pub. Also enjoy going out and the fun of it, rather then expecting love, sex or a kiss. I know that sounds simplistic but if a girl can't admire my short stubby legs in my disintegrating jeans well then so be it.

MrStuffins

Deleted User wrote: »

Send almost a hundred messages on an online dating site without replies and tell me there's more than looks to it. :pac:

I wonder has anyone ever tested this out?

Set up two profiles, identical but for the pictures. Send messages, see what replies you get.

I mean, we all know what the results would be but.........

ancapailldorcha

MrStuffins wrote: »

I wonder has anyone ever tested this out?

Set up two profiles, identical but for the pictures. Send messages, see what replies you get.

I mean, we all know what the results would be but.........

I've read an article where the same profile was posted twice with no picture. The only difference was the gender and the female one received tens of messages per day.