Cringe worthy moments.

LynnGrace

At a funeral, as I was sympathising with the family, one of them said, (before I said anything), something like 'thanks for being here today'.
I mumbled out some reply, I've no idea really what I said, but it didn't make any sense, I know that much. I practically ran from the church.

Ihatecuddles

My OH introduced me to a friend of his. The conversation went as follows.

'Hi, I'm Emma'
'Emmet'
'Emma'
'EMMET'
'EMMA!! My name is Emma!'

He just looked at me funny and walked off. I said it to my OH then, he's a bit radio isn't he? Kept calling me Emmet even though I clearly said Emma.

He just stared at me. He was telling me his name was Emmet

Ihatecuddles

Candie wrote: »

Two store related ones: Walked into a full length mirror and apologised profusely to my reflection. Much hilarity around me.
.

I was in a nightclub once, dancefloor was empty but the bar was full and people were leaning on it looking out at the room.

I look across the dancefloor and see my friend, give her a wave and go to run over and hug her, drunk girl style.

I got within 2 foot of her and realised it was my reflection in a mirror. There was one bloke laughing so much he had tears rolling down his face, he was bent over holding his stomach and was screaming laughing. Everyone else was laughing or feeling sorry for me.

That was just a horrible feeling. 30 people saw me do it. The guy who found it the funniest came over after and said he could see me waving at my own reflection and knew it couldn't end well

Ihatecuddles

Last one! I was pushing my then 2 year old in a trolley around M&S grocery department. We were messing and playing the whole time. Ended up stuck behind an elderly lady, meant to say excuse me please, and I was so used to us messing I shouted 'BEEP BEEP'.

Her face! She almost shat herself, me yelling in her ear and being so rude. I kept apologising but she was not amused.

umop-apisdn

I've done so many cringey things in my life, but one that still makes me die with embarrassment everytime I think about it....

Pulled into petrol station and filled car up. The weather was rotten so I was rushing to get inside with my head kind of ducked down against the wind.

I ran headfirst into the sliding doors which looked like they were open.
I swear the noise was so loud that everyone in the shop crapped themselves and turned to see what the big bang was. To see me, clutching my head and wobbling on my feet.

There was this old guy coming in behind me that helped me into the shop where it took a few minutes to stop seeing stars. Just wanted to get out of there, but had to pay and wasn't really fit to drive anywhere til I'd recovered.


Not one of mine, but still worth telling...

When I was about 18, we used to go to this really ****e club in our local town. It was such a dive but was the only one so ended up there most weekends.
Anyway, they 'did it up' and had a big reopening. One of their changes was to cover one of the walls with floor to ceiling mirrors.
That same weekend, my cousins were visiting us so we took them to this place. One of them was absolutely plastered and didn't realise that it was a wall of mirrors. He walked straight into it and then apologised to his reflection thinking he'd bumped into someone. He side-stepped and did exactly the same thing...apologised again and then did it again! He still hadn't clicked that it was a mirror and started to get a bit thick with the idiot that kept bumping into him.
Bear in mind, he was staggering round type of drunk and wasn't all there. So he then starts squaring up to his own reflection and looking to start a fight.
we had all been sitting on couches near the wall (realising the comedy value after seeing people walking into them all night) and pissing ourselves laughing at him. But had to step in and drag him away before he actually got as far as punching the wall!
we all still laugh about it to this day, yet he has no recollection at all ðŸ˜႒

The Pheasant2

fryup wrote: »

7 pages in, and no "caught wankin" tales

surely someone out there has a confession to make.........

Actually I have one that happened to my best mate; I bring it up the odd time just to watch him squirm with the "cringidity" of it :pac:

His parents had gone up to bed so he had the whole downstairs to himself - a opportune time for a tug you'd think.

So he's in the tv room, door closed, on the couch with the laptop open and some dirty movies playing. He's got his jocks around his ankles and he's working away doing the 5 knuckle shuffle. As he got more into it he must've got too hot or something because he took his shirt off as well; so he's now completely naked except for the trousers around his ankles while he continues to beat the meat.

He insists that once his parents go to bed they don't usually ever come downstairs again. Guess what happened that fateful night?

There he is, bare ass naked, on the good couch, polishing the flagpole with gusto, when Mary (his mum) bursts into the room all of a sudden!:eek:

"Goodnight Andr...Oh JESUSMARYANDJOSEPH! Andrew! :eek:" she screams, averting her eyes in horror.

Andy jumps into the air with yelp and a gasp, looking like an epileptic octopus as he tries to pull up his jocks, close down the filth on the laptop and shield his lad from his Ma in one frantic movement!

Mary bolts out of the room and pegs it up the stairs muttering "sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry" while poor Andy is left standing downstairs in shock. (at this point I like to assume he facepalmed hard and let out an almighty groan of embarrassment)

But wait! That's not even the best bit:

The next morning he sheepishly enters the kitchen and the rest of his family are acting completely normal (she musn't have told them) and they eventually leave for work, school etc. until it's just himself and his mum in the kitchen.

"Morning Andrew, Do you want a cuppa?" she says, being normal, no awkwardness or anything.

"Eh...yeah please" Andy says, delighted that she'd put his "transgression" behind them and everything was back to normal.

She hands him the mug of tea, smiles and says:

"It's okay Andrew, I still love you."

IrishEyes19

I cringe even thinking back on it.

This should happen to students, but it happened to me.

I was teaching my first few classes ever last year. I was starting my Hdip. I had my supervisor in my class that day. I'm a secondary school teacher and I was still quite nervous naturally. So I start the class as normal. As students a questions. we call her mary and the other one sarah.

Me: Ok, looking back at what we covered yesterday, the role of a historian is what...

(Hands up)

Me: Mary?

Mary: To research primary and secondary sources......ect......

Me: Exactly, can anyone give me examples of these sources?

(Hands up)

Sarah: Miss, I know it, Miss, Miss


Me: Mom, how many times have I told you raise your hand when you want to speak!!!

I ACTUALLY SHUDDER WRITING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naturally the whole class burst into laughter, as did my supervisor. The pain of it.

Bazzo

A few years back I was out with a few mates and ended up getting pretty plastered. In the chaos after the clubs let out I managed to lose my mates, but found my brother and some of his, so ended up just kind of tagging along with them back to one of their apartments.

Now, I get along fairly well with my brother & his mates, and they had no problem with me but he was getting fairly thick with my drunk ****e talking, so after about half an hour back in the house and me having repeated myself one too many times he blurts out with "Would you ever shut the **** up, nobody even wants you here!" I lept up and ran out the door of the apartment into the communal hallway, and a couple of them, thinking they had been teleported into some sort of American highschool tv drama ran out after me to make sure I was alright and reassure me that he didn't mean it.

Instead of finding me in tears they found me laughing uncontrollably and puking my ring up in front of some very shocked looking neighbours.

dougee19

I went to a ball some thursday night in college and stayed up all night drinking with friends. Suddenly realised I had a really important 9am lecture. So I rush home and change into normal clothes and off to the lecture still really drunk and wrecked tired.
Get to the lecture and there was only 20-30 people so I knew this was going to be hell! Lecturer comes in and gives me a weird look, I figure I'm sussed out here but he says nothing. 5 minutes in and he is asking questions and I raise my hand to answer every single one(possibly slurring a lot)! He then tells me to let others answer some so I put my head in my hands and..... zzzzzzzzz

I woke up with drool down the side of my face and no idea where I was!! I had never seen this lecturer before and couldn't recognise anybody in the room. Took me a minute or two to get my bearings and realise a new class had come in and just sat around me. Everyone in the room was absolutely in stitches and the lecturer said something witty to me and I left red-faced and thought that was the end of it. I log into the college website the next day and there is a video of me asleep in the classroom snoring away, it remained there for the entire year and the lecturer never once said a word to me about it.

sunflower27

Years ago I was stuck waiting for a plane at Dublin airport following delays. I am a nervous flyer and always have a glass or two of wine before boarding. As we were delayed several hours, more than two glasses were consumed....

Finally when we were given the go ahead to board I went and joined the queue. I put my bag down and looked at the couple next to me. I was quite pissed at this point and started saying finally we are on our way blah blah. I noticed several women giving me the evil eye but figured we were all just annoyed at the delay and carried on talking.

A few mintutes later it dawned on me I had somehow joined the very front of the queue and not the back. When I realised I nearly died and apologised and went to pick up my bag. The guy next to me laughed and said you are fine, don't worry. His wife said 'no she isn't'.

I was one of the last to board and had to walk past everyone on the plane looking at me as if I was the cheekiest woman they had ever met.

johnington

A friend of mine told me his girlfriend broke up with him. He was really into her and never saw it coming.

Several awkward seconds later I patted him on the head and said 'there there'. Still can't understand why I did that.

Bridge93

I had a friend who was graphically telling some of us what he would do to another one of the lads' sisters if he got the chance. Need I tell you who walked in about 10 seconds before he finished?

But the worst I can remember is there were two lads a few years below me in school who thought it would be a great idea to make their own porno. There was no acting it was just voices saying 'seductive' lines, telling what they were doing and making sound effects. Bad idea. Even worse was the women supposedly being f***ked were the mums of lads in their year.
It was horrific, I fear to think what it was like in the room as it was made, the eye contact as you're miming a woman's orgasm while your friend is telling you where he is gonna cum.
What is worse is when it gets out and the whole school knows who was involved in the making of it. Obviously they didn't want it out but once someone somehow got hold of it, it spread like wildfire. You have to wonder why they made it. Cringe worthy indeed and a reputation dent that was potentially never recovered. 'More oil' words that will stay with those who heard them for a long time.

LorMal

This happened about 25 years ago and I still cringe. I was waiting at local bus stop on a cold rainy morning. I am soaking wet and shivering. I notice a car slow down and stop about 100 yards beyond the bus stop. The car horn beeps and the back passenger door is opened.
Relieved to be getting a lift, I run to the car and hop in the back beside this woman. I say 'thanks a million - I am heading to town'.
Next - the actual woman they were waiting for gets in the car beside me!! So then I realise my mistake but the car has begun to move with me stuck in the middle.
They thought I was with her - and she thought I was with them.
They were all very nice people but I was absolutely mortified throughout the whole 45 minute journey as the two old friends continue to chat away to each other as I sat there between them like a big plonker.

LorMal

A few years ago I was in Florida on business. I had a day off between meetings so I decided to go to Universal Studios theme park.
The first (and only) ride I went on was 'Back to the Future'. (This is a virtual reality ride where you sit into a car, get strapped in and they shut the roof over you - the car then rocks and shunts as the screen shows a very realistic virtual reality video of you zooming through space)
I joined the queue - which was nearly an hour.
When I got to the top of the queue, the attendent would not let be in the car by myself (I am a 45 year old man) as there is a minimum of 4 people per car.
So he put me in the car and put a family in with me.
So here we were - the Mammy and Daddy in the front - and their two kids in the back - with me in the middle of them - like a big baldy Irish paedophile. None of them said a word. I nearly died. I cringed all the way through the ride and prayed furiously for it to end. All the way through the ride, the car tilts to the each side and I was pressed against the kids - I could see the Dad turning around in his seat to glare suspiciously at me.....

anncoates

Posted it in another thread before but I once absentmindedly stuck my hand out to hail a luas at a packed platform in town.

Also once had a pair of trousers years ago that I loved but had no belt loops and the catch burst and they fell down. On a packed Grafton Street, Dublin .

Muise...

anncoates wrote: »

Posted it in another thread before but I once absentmindedly stuck my hand out to hail a luas at a packed platform in town.

Also once had a pair of trousers years ago that I loved but had no belt loops and the catch burst and they fell down. On a packed Grafton Street, Dublin .

Just tried to turn a LOL into a cough and ended up having a spluttering coughing fit. On the train. Carriage of staring eyes. Thank you! :pac::pac:

893bet

Everyone did this but still cringe!


Called their teacher mammy!

Gandalph

My parents like to remind me of the story of when I was like 5-6, I was in Disney World Florida with the folks. My dad and I went to the bathroom which was pretty full, standing at the urinal with my dad taking a tinkle and I piped out really loud with "Dad how do you make your willy stand up?", Just about every lad in the bathroom laughed. My dad being a shy man turned bright red and couldn't answer but some gentlemen behind us informed me all I had to do was to shake my belly. Sure I thought I'd give it a shot mid stream...safe to say I made quite a mess.

Un Croissant

As I child we moved back to my mothers home village from London. I was put into first class and my classmates were very curious about me. I told them I had spent years travelling around China and Antarctica. The next day the children of family friends quickly disproved my story

Gandalph

I was at a bank once sitting down waiting for someone and there was this girl working there at the entrance welcoming and helping people who came in. She was absolutely gorgeous and I couldn't take my eyes off her. Anyway she seen me sitting there all alone and came over, I thought this my big chance, I had to say something funny or clever in response to what ever she said! "Hello Sir how are you today?"...my brain got stuck halfway between a 'great' and a 'hello'...so in my confusion I blurted out "GRELLO!". I got so mortified for myself I couldn't answer any of her other questions because the only word running through my head was 'grello' and I say I looked like a dear in headlights for the rest of the conversation.

SantryRed

Back in my school days, I regularly cycled to school. One day I got off a class earlier than everyone so ran out to grab my bike from the yard. For the life of me, I couldn't get my bike lock open. Tried twisting it all ways, nothing was working. The good aul caretaker came over to give me a hand, tried some WD40 to loosen it, still had no luck. Then disaster struck as I pretty badly jammed the key in the lock and it broke, and we couldn't get it out of the lock. Luckily I had two keys but we just couldn't get the broken key out. Eventually, we decided the best way to open in was to just hacksaw it.

As the caretaker went to get the hacksaw out of the shed, I looked down the row of bikes, and about 10 bikes down was my bike sitting there. I've never ran so quick to open it up and get out of there before the caretaker got back. I'll never know what the actual owner of the first bike had to do when he got off :pac: Facepalm for me.

kowloon

I was in an autocad class once and a guy ended up on the lecturers demo machine and proceeded to spend the entire session crafting a cock and balls in autocad projected onto the screen behind the lecturer. Neither realised until the lecturer had to use the machine.

I once stumbled into a shop in Americaw after a night on the drink to get hangover curers, the girl behind the counter put out her hand for change and I shook it and introduced myself. The cashiers were in bits and nothing was done to Ireland's reputation as a land of friendly, drunken eejits.

massdebater

SantryRed wrote: »

Back in my school days, I regularly cycled to school. One day I got off a class earlier than everyone so ran out to grab my bike from the yard. For the life of me, I couldn't get my bike lock open. Tried twisting it all ways, nothing was working. The good aul caretaker came over to give me a hand, tried some WD40 to loosen it, still had no luck. Then disaster struck as I pretty badly jammed the key in the lock and it broke, and we couldn't get it out of the lock. Luckily I had two keys but we just couldn't get the broken key out. Eventually, we decided the best way to open in was to just hacksaw it.

As the caretaker went to get the hacksaw out of the shed, I looked down the row of bikes, and about 10 bikes down was my bike sitting there. I've never ran so quick to open it up and get out of there before the caretaker got back. I'll never know what the actual owner of the first bike had to do when he got off :pac: Facepalm for me.

How did you unlock your bike if your key broke in the lock of the first bike?

EDIT: Just read that you had two keys!

mayotom

massdebater wrote: »

How did you unlock your bike if your key broke in the lock of the first bike?

read again...:eek: :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Legs.Eleven

Taught one English class that was a disaster from day 1. I flounced in with a stream of toilet roll hanging out of my trousers on my second day and didn't realise 'till I got home. I was up at the board teaching the class with said toilet paper hanging out of my arse like a makeshift tail.

In the second or third class, I let out a fart quite loudly in front of everyone (all 3 students, so fairly intense) as I was explaining something as I my diet consisted of mostly chickpeas at the time and I'll never forget the faces of horror from the 3 of them, particularly from one student.

By the second week, I was moved without a reason given to a different company. Only time that's happened. Bunch of dry ****es not seeing the funny side to it. :rolleyes:

Paddy Cow

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

By the second week, I was moved without a reason given to a different company. Only time that's happened. Bunch of dry ****es not seeing the funny side to it. :rolleyes:

:pac:

umop-apisdn

Just remembered another...


We grew up in England and years ago, when my sister was about 3 or 4, we all went to B&Q.

We had a good look round all the display areas and then moved onto looking at stuff on the aisles. I had wandered off and then went to find my mum and dad.
When I found them, my mum asked me where my sister was, thinking she had been with me. I told them that i thought she was with them.
Just as this was all said, we heard her shouting out from across the aisle "mum, I can't find the toilet roll"
We all looked at each other a bit confused at first, and then my mum's mouth just dropped open and she ran off. We all followed her and found my sister sitting on one of the toilets in the bathroom display having a wee, with her pants round her ankles and all these people walking past laughing.

We made a fairly sharp exit from B&Q that day!

Doom

I was staying in a hostel in Castlebar, the landlady walked into the common room, then her dress fell off...she started mumbling about expecting someone else to be staying, cannot figure out how that explains her dress falling off.....I just sat there with my mouth open
She was red for a week after that.

Legs.Eleven

Paddy Cow wrote: »

:pac:

If only my own ****e was drier....

FunLover18

Aged 17 I sent a very cringeworthy text to a girl I liked asking her out. I decided to do this on a Saturday night when she was most likely out with mates, she politely declined and it wasn't mentioned again but given the looks I was getting Monday morning I'm 99% sure she showed it to everyone