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Cringe worthy moments.

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    #32
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Kelly06 wrote: »
    Ha ha!!! I really don't want to explain the full story but it really is true! I was horrified ! But I still have it with the iron filings still attached just to prove to people that it really did happen. I'm blushing just thinking about it!

    Someone was playing the dick?


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    #33
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Un Croissant wrote: »
    1. I was trying some Caesar Milan sh*t on a strangers dog and he went for me.

    HA! Deserved it.





    I'm sure I've done plenty of cringeworthy things, I just can't remember any right now.


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    #34
    kellso81
    Registered Users Posts: 307 ✭✭kellso81


    Kelly06 wrote: »
    Ha ha!!! I really don't want to explain the full story but it really is true! I was horrified ! But I still have it with the iron filings still attached just to prove to people that it really did happen. I'm blushing just thinking about it!

    this really needs a thread all of it's own.


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    #35
    Kelly06
    Closed Accounts Posts: 509 ✭✭✭Kelly06


    kellso81 wrote: »
    this really needs a thread all of it's own.

    No way hose!!!!


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    #36
    Going Strong
    Registered Users Posts: 837 ✭✭✭Going Strong


    Candie wrote: »
    Walked into a full length mirror and apologised profusely to my reflection. Much hilarity around me.

    I did something similar in a pub. The back had a mirror going right the way across. I hadn't been in there for years and forgot where the toilets were so I asked my friend. "Right down the back" said he. So, I went straight down the back of the pub and saw some eejit coming right towards me. The last thought I had before I hit was "Why won't he get out of my way? And why does he look a lot like me?" I was okay but a bunch of couples at the table next to me were in hysterics. The next time I went to the toilet they were 'helpfully' reminding me to turn right before I hurt myself.


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    #37
    gugleguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,959 ✭✭✭gugleguy


    The most memorable one of mine happened in Grafton Street in the morning of a weekday. Approached collector with Threshold charity box.......couldn't get any money out of my pocket......fiddled with pocket a bit harder.......keys....coins.....notes...spilled out everywhere. I picked everything off the street......gave donation to collector....


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    #38
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,023 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    Kelly06 wrote: »
    Oh god I don't believe I'm posting this .... I once had a vibrator dusted for fingerprints ... Beat that for cringe worthy!
    You were burgled and noticed that the vibrator had been moved, so they dusted it to see if they could find any fingerprints?


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    #39
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    I have to know the crime story involving the dildo!!


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    #40
    hjkl
    Registered Users Posts: 469 ✭✭hjkl


    Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »
    Im constantly doing this.

    Colleague:Good morning Osis.

    Me:Morning Osis....

    followed by awkward silence.

    There is a saying for moments like this, it's something along the lines of 'How are you?'.


    I love this thread BTW :D


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    #41
    Musefan
    Registered Users Posts: 774 ✭✭✭Musefan


    Got a new car. At the train station the following week, I was cursing the fact my key wouldn't work in the door. Then a lady said "I think this is me".

    Wrong car.


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    #42
    yawhat!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 970 ✭✭✭yawhat!




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    #43
    MJ23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,039 ✭✭✭MJ23


    The Derek Mooney show.
    The Voice of Ireland.
    I sometimes notice myself blushing when they're on.


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    #44
    Kelly06
    Closed Accounts Posts: 509 ✭✭✭Kelly06


    Ficheall wrote: »
    You were burgled and noticed that the vibrator had been moved, so they dusted it to see if they could find any fingerprints?

    No I was burgled, the drawer with the sex toys was upended so I took them all and hid them in the attic all except for one tiny little one all packaged nicely in its box noticed it before the Garda arrived so threw it into the boot of the car and forgot about it. A friend noticed it in my boot and said "what the **** you doing with a vibrator in your boot" and we were joking the embarrassment if it was stolen as well.

    A few weeks later yep! You guessed it the car was stolen with the spare key taken in the burglary which I'd never noticed. Anyways car was recovered and had to be dusted for prints by csi and when I got it back there was the vibrator still in its box with iron filings over a finger print!!! So not only do they know I travel around in my car all vibed up now they have my finger prints too. Now if that's not cringeworthy I don't know what is! Fortunately I have a sex toy free house after that embarrassment ha ha. I can imagine the talk in the staff room the next day!


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    #45
    Slutmonkey57b
    Registered Users Posts: 5,556 ✭✭✭Slutmonkey57b


    That's terrible. Getting burgled is awful but to give up your **** bank as a result? I feel for you.


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    #46
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Kelly06 wrote: »
    No I was burgled, the drawer with the sex toys was upended so I took them all and hid them in the attic all except for one tiny little one all packaged nicely in its box noticed it before the Garda arrived so threw it into the boot of the car and forgot about it. A friend noticed it in my boot and said "what the **** you doing with a vibrator in your boot" and we were joking the embarrassment if it was stolen as well.

    A few weeks later yep! You guessed it the car was stolen with the spare key taken in the burglary which I'd never noticed. Anyways car was recovered and had to be dusted for prints by csi and when I got it back there was the vibrator still in its box with iron filings over a finger print!!! So not only do they know I travel around in my car all vibed up now they have my finger prints too. Now if that's not cringeworthy I don't know what is! Unfortunately now I have a sex toy free house after that embarrassment ha ha. I can imagine the talk in the staff room the next day!


    I thought Muise kissing the cab driver was funny, but you've elevated the thread to a whole new level of cringe! I think this might be my favourite story ever! :)


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    #47
    Kelly06
    Closed Accounts Posts: 509 ✭✭✭Kelly06


    Slutmonkey57b wrote: »
    That's terrible. Getting burgled is awful but to give up your **** bank as a result? I feel for you.

    Ha ha thanks! To make it worse I'm single now and I could do with my little "friends" more than ever!!!


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    #48
    Diabhal Beag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,238 ✭✭✭✭Diabhal Beag


    Thinking somebody is waving, not wanting to be a dick thinking you might know them and waving back, followed by somebody walking up from behind and greeting said waver while you stand there. The longest 4 seconds in life.

    That's not even a made up one.


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    #49
    vertico
    Registered Users Posts: 133 ✭✭vertico


    Years ago I was hitching out of Sligo just past the shop at the traffic lights, a car pulls in and I run up and jumped in the back. Parents and daughter all looked at me with mouths wide open 😦, I say "how are Ye" and "thanks for stopping" father says "we're only going at the shop". So I apologise and they see the funny side of it.


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    #50
    gugleguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,959 ✭✭✭gugleguy


    Week and half ago I was waiting for a bus eireann bus from Ballina to Dublin. I was the only person there waiting. Wondered why until bus eireann driver came up to me saying last bus from ballina station had left for the day. I had gotten bad info off a certain website. Won't mention website here but such websites seem to be like certain smartphone phone 'repair' outlets here. That'll be all.


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    #51
    Dramatik
    Registered Users Posts: 899 ✭✭✭Dramatik


    A few years ago, I was waiting for a bus home, minding my own business listening to a few tunes on the MP3 player to pass the time. Suddenly out of nowhere some lad walks full stride into the back of me, in a rage I turned to him and shouted "watch where the f**k you're going, you f**king sap!" It was only at that point I realised the lad had a guide stick in his hand and was clearly blind. There was probably 15+ people at the bus stop, some of the looks I was getting. It was another 35 mins before the bus arrived...


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    #52
    Birneybau
    Registered Users Posts: 10,232 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Slutmonkey57b wrote: »
    That's terrible. Getting burgled is awful but to give up your **** bank as a result? I feel for you.

    Do you even know what a **** bank is?


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    #53
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,564 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Was going through a sliding door of a train and reached my left arm back without looking to hold it open for a girl behind me struggling with a bag. Grabbed her right on the breast instead, and then kept hold of it as I turned around wondering what it was, until I realised it and abruptly released it.

    Luckily she saw the funny side of it. I'd say my face must have been priceless.


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    #54
    stop animal cruelty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,012 ✭✭✭stop animal cruelty


    lv had loads......but 2 that came to mind ....

    on new years eve someone l knew to see wished me a happy new year....l blurts out "oh happy birthday to you too!!" :pac:

    At my grandfathers furnel, the first time people shook hands with me in the furnel home(whatever you call it) l was a bit nervous but the first person to sympatise with me goes "lm sorry for your loss" and of couse SAC goes "sorry, sorry" :o and he looked at me as if he didnt know what to say....l couldnt say anything else...just put my head down :o


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    #55
    The Diabolical Monocle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,618 ✭✭✭The Diabolical Monocle


    Un Croissant wrote: »
    3. An A&E nurse calling me a f**king idiot for waiting nine months to admit a since diagnosed serious issue with my 'back passage'.

    So AH, spill.


    Hoover attachment ?

    Yeah Ive several hundred seriously cringe worthy moments, they're of such a level of douchebag chills that they're not going on here.

    One for illustration purposes though....had this English g/f ..oh christ... she came over to visit me, picked her up at the airport went back to gaff, I thought it would be oh so ironically funny, cause Im a funny funny guy, to lift her up like a bride and carry her in the door (shudder)... then I couldn't even manage to carry her in.

    (and thats a fairly tame one)

    she later dumped me, cant think why.


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    #56
    fupduck
    Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭fupduck


    I've had loads!

    One that sticks out in my mind though was just doing the food shop.

    I work in warehousing, which can be heavy work physically. I used to get paid monthly, and on pay day would always go to do a huge food shop, so that I only had to pick up odd bits and pieces during the month.

    Anyway, I always went to the butcher before going to the supermarket, and would spend quite a lot, this particular time, it was the end of a particularly heavy day, after a really long month , I was completely worn out, and no more in the mood for doing the shop. After I had filled about 5 bags at the counter, I handed the card to the butcher and he looked at me, still in all my hi-vis, warehouse clothing and said to me ' you look like you need cheering up. hard day love?

    To which I replied (in front of a shop full of customers) ' ahh, dont mind me , it's just that time of the month again' ! I practically ran from the shop, mortified


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    #57
    Slutmonkey57b
    Registered Users Posts: 5,556 ✭✭✭Slutmonkey57b


    Birneybau wrote: »
    Do you even know what a **** bank is?

    No, because I've never done it.

    :eek:


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    #58
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    My now ex brought our 3 day old baby over to her mams in a taxi. Hops out of taxi and heads inside. Few minutes later taxi driver knocks on the door and says "you left something in the taxi" . She says " no I have my handbag"

    Anyway the driver urged her to check the car where she finds the baby still in his seat.

    I ll be honest, I do remind her of it occasionally


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    #59
    fussyonion
    Registered Users Posts: 7,818 ✭✭✭fussyonion


    Saying "Thanks a million very much" -an amalgamation of "thanks a million" and "thanks very much".

    When I was a kid, the coalman used to call every week.
    Sometimes my Dad would get bags of coal on tick and the coalman would come back the following week to collect the payment.
    This one week my Dad said "If the coalman calls, tell him I'm not here" (he hadn't got the money he owed him).

    Sure enough the coalman called to the door. I answered it and said:
    "My Dad says he's not here".

    Cue glares from my father in the living room and me with a red face as the coalman smiled and greeted my father.


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    #60
    GenieOz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 892 ✭✭✭GenieOz


    It was dark when I was parking up at my house last night and I could see a few guys in the distance, when I got out of the car they were whistling and calling over, couldn't recognise them so started walking over..just got there when a dog passed me. They were calling the dog. I don't have a clue who they were, they just stared at me..

    Guess it's time to move.


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    #61
    trancemuzic
    Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭trancemuzic


    Split up with my girlfriend a few years back ,
    Was hitting the beer heavy for a while after that and one particular night after way to may drinks I somehow found myself drunk as a skunk in my bedroom tears streaming down my face and Sinead o Conner nothing compared to you blasting into my headphones ,

    There's me like a sad pathetic loser crying and rocking back and forth and when I look up my bloody dad is standing in my room in shock just looking straight at me

    I think any respect he might have had for me left the room with him that night

    I often wonder now when in talking to my dad , even now a few years later if he is just fighting back the urge to burst out laughing and give me the unmerciful slagging that I know i deserve haha

    I only ever told one mate about this and he laughed for about an hour and a half non stop about it , he just was so embarrassed for me


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