Cringe worthy moments.

fussyonion

I don't go to Mass often but was there last week. When given the holy communion and the priest said "The Body of Christ", I said "Thanks a lot".

PizzamanIRL

Was just reading this thread waiting for food to cook. Heard the oven bell thing go off. Got up to go out to kitchen. I usually push down the door handle and walk out all in the same stride, instead of stopping before the door, opening it and continuing.

This time my timing was a bit off and my hand missed the handle and my forehead hit the door frame. I'm not hurt though, relax!

yawhat!

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Was just reading this thread waiting for food to cook. Heard the oven bell thing go off. Got up to go out to kitchen. I usually push down the door handle and walk out all in the same stride, instead of stopping before the door, opening it and continuing.

This time my timing was a bit off and my hand missed the handle and my forehead hit the door frame. I'm not hurt though, relax!

Can I get 14 inch with extra knob cheese please?

mlumley

Many years ago, working I London doing scaffolding with my brother, I was throwing up fittings to him. I crouched down ton throw more up, and my jeans ripped from front to back. Went to a chemist and got safety pins and then to a toilet to pin myself up.

Day went grand, then went home on the tube. I was knackered and fell asleep. Woke up a few mins later and saw two girls giggling at me. Felt a draught where there shouldn't be one and realised that the pins had come undone. At the time I had the habit of going commando.

While asleep, I had spread my legs and willy and his two friends were saying hello to every one. Quickly closed legs, girls still laughing at me, but it was the smile on the blokes face sitting opposite me that made me leave the train at the next stop. Thankfully, he didn't get off as well, but he gave me a big wink ( yes wink ) as I left the train.

coolhull

At a wedding a few months ago, near the end when the priest said, ''Let us offer each other a sign of peace'' (hand shake) the man beside me turned to me, offered his hand and said,''Peace be with you''.
Smiling beatifically, I said, ''Pleased to meet you too.''

Morto

PizzamanIRL

yawhat! wrote: »

Can I get 14 inch with extra knob cheese please?

Can I get a change of username?

fussyonion

Sorry Pizzaman, everytime I see your name I have to resist the urge to PM you to ask which pizzeria you work for

I think I might have posted this on another thread.

Me: Hello Mr Secret Crush, how are you today?

He: I'm fine Candie, how are you doing?

Me: I'm fine! How are you?

He: ....eh

jellyboy

Kelly06 wrote: »

Oh god I don't believe I'm posting this .... I once had a vibrator dusted for fingerprints ... Beat that for cringe worthy!

Was it a stick up ?

fussyonion

jellyboy wrote: »

Was it a stick up ?

Leave.:mad:

jellyboy

fussyonion wrote: »

Leave.:mad:

Wrong forum .. indignation thread is that way>>>>>

iCosmopolis

Owryan wrote: »

My now ex brought our 3 day old baby over to her mams in a taxi. Hops out of taxi and heads inside. Few minutes later taxi driver knocks on the door and says "you left something in the taxi" . She says " no I have my handbag"

Anyway the driver urged her to check the car where she finds the baby still in his seat.

I ll be honest, I do remind her of it occasionally

Friend did something similar twice in her first couple of weeks back in work after her maternity leave. She arrived in the car park in work, realising baby was still smiling at her from the back of the car where she entirely forgot to drop her at creche and had just gone into autopilot- she cried for about 2 days after thinking she was a terrible mam. Then went home from work a few days later, and realized she'd forgotten to collect the baby from creche Her little one is a happy 9 year old now, none the worse for her mammy's baby brain.

deise08

Working in a supermarket,while serving someone I needed to get something for them at the customer service desk, standing there was my manager talking to a rep. Walking towards them, he started sayin to me 'top up' to which I replied 'ya you can get it at any of the checkouts' he again repeated this 3 times, me still walking towards them thinking 'is he thick?' It was only when I was stood beside him I could see him motioning with his eyes and hands. I had walked the whole way over with most of my top buttons open and here were my girls saying hello!
cringe.
Just aswell I have a good pair.

fryup

7 pages in, and no "caught wankin" tales

surely someone out there has a confession to make.........

RobbingBandit

did my work experience in a well known music shop back in the late 90s, tracked dog **** into the stock room up three floors of stairs, I ran out of the place cleaned it off and came back and finished my week.

inforfun

A friend of mine and his girlfriend announcing to me they were goign to get married and he wanted me to be his best man.

My reply: Are you sure?

In fairness, i was right. Lasted 3 years before they divorced.

keeponhurling

yawhat! wrote: »

Is there any way I can unwatch that ?

languagenerd

Couple years ago, my old slow desktop computer froze while I was checking Facebook. I tried scrolling and clicking with the mouse several times, but nothing happened... A few hours later, I realised the clicks had eventually worked and I'd accidentally liked a load of posts, including one from a girl I went to school with but never talk to saying "So who's coming out with us tonight? ". Awkward.

Could have been worse, I guess!

For Forks Sake

keeponhurling wrote: »

Is there any way I can unwatch that ?

You'll need bleach for that.

Chet T16

I used to have a left hand drive lancia and took it to the bank one day, on coming out I walked up, flung the door open and jumped in - only to realise I'm in the passenger seat. I totally saved it by awkwardly rummaging in the glovebox pulling out an old receipt or something and holding it up in a 'this is the important document I require' fashion. Yeah, nailed it.

Also one time I was on the phone to some company or other and doing the usual walking around the house thing. I ended up standing in front of our baby girl as the conversation ended and heard myself say in the stupidest squeaky baby voice ever "ok then day day"

PeteEd

keeponhurling wrote: »

Is there any way I can unwatch that ?

god love her, the barrel was well and truly scraped to find a talent

happypants

One of many that just came back to me there, a few years ago a group of us were heading out into town. I asked the taxi driver to stop at an ATM on the way in, I hopped out, used the ATM, jumped back in closed my seatbelt and said 'thanks, all sorted now, let's go' I looked up and had a random couple beside me and the taxi driver staring at me blankly.... I'd gotten back into the wrong taxi...Cringe.

Duck Soup

Grew up in a rough town in the south of England and started drinking in my teens in a local pub which was rougher than most. One evening, a guy who couldn't have been much older than 16 came in. He didn't appear to know anyone there and was shítting bricks. He saw me and since I was near his age and was one the few there who didn't look like an axe murderer, he came over and struck up a conversation.

Alright mate. Not too bad. So what school do you go to? [I cringed at that question alone but I answered it anyway - I was 18 and doing my A levels]. So I tell him the school. Oh so do you know so-and-so? Nope. What about so-and-so? Yep. So-and-so? Yep. Then he mentioned a girl - let's call her Sharon - I used to date. [I'll use false names from here on in, obviously]. So I said "Sharon? Yeah, I used to go out with her."

At this point he perked up, thinking he'd recognized a genuine line of connection. So you must know Tracey Smith? At which point, I burst out laughing. Tracey Takes-It-Up-The-Arse Smith? Oh God yeah! Everyone knows about Tracey Takes-It-Up-The-Arse Smith.

The bloke looks confused. So I explained. My ex-GF had told me all about her friend Tracey and Tracey rebuffing her boyfriend's attempts to get his legover. The boyfriend apparently was pleasant enough but was getting blue balls and desperate after a few months. Tracey was quite clear in her own mind that she wanted to keep her cherry intact for her wedding night. So as a compromise, she agreed to let him use the tradesman's entrance.

So I recall the story, telling it with gusto and maybe even a few hand gestures and accompanying squelching sound effects. It was only when I'd finished, I noticed he was not laughing along, instead staring at the floor with a shocked look on his face. I thought "Jaysus man, have you no sense of humour for a good story" and gave him a little nudge. What's up with you, mate?

Pause. Then he says "Tracey Smith is my sister."

RGDATA!

893bet wrote: »

Said the words "thanks for coming" in funeral home when was offering my sympathies.

ha, that's an awful/great one

one of my first funerals, when i was around 16, I was anxious about what I was supposed to say to the bereaved family, but the line of sympathisers was so long that I drifted into a daydream. I zoned out so completely that when I suddenly found myself at the top of the line, I shook the hand of the dead man's wife and blurted out instinctively 'Mary howaya doing?', although at least somewhat solemnly.
Still cringe about this every time I'm in the line at a funeral.

Paddy Cow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MToZVbriWDU

Un Croissant

I suppose one of the weirder moments I've witnessed is good old Marys face when the Queen spoke a few words of Irish.

It was a look of shock and surprise akin to getting contact from another planet.

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^

worse was when she started saying "oh wow" out loud, really cringy

Mr. CooL ICE

fryup wrote: »

7 pages in, and no "caught wankin" tales

surely someone out there has a confession to make.........

Ok, I'll start.

In college, I was cracking one out to some porn at my computer one night when my housemate (who rarely knocks) just opens my door and walks in. I quickly alt-tab, mute the speakers and start pulling my pants up. So he walks in, sees me with my pants just about up with a computer screen with what now is world of warcraft, complete with my female character. My former housemate now thinks he caught me **** to pixels

Specialun

I had a bit of a cringe moment on fri thanks to my mailbox

I was mailing a mate on another floor about lunch plans..i had seen what he had said in the pop up and i was. Going to reply " go away a fookoff im not going to subway"..just as i clicked on reply another mail came through which meant the mail i was replying to dropped down...to cut a long story short a global hr msg came out and i replied to the sender going " go away and fookoff im not going to subway"......luckily the hr manager is based in our office and found it funny when i explained what happened

sunflower27

Michelle Heaton's epic fall on The Apprentice a few years back. I watched it again on youtube the other day and my God, I cringed so much for her. How utterly humiliating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeGIMwgm_Zc