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September 2014 Babies Club
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My due date is the 22nd, but considering my son was 5 days early I have it in my head that I'll be gone by mid Sept
Gonna finish the last week of august, take a week holiday and then officially start Mat Leave 2 weeks before the 22nd.
Felt a real tightness across the top of my bump this week, and oh jesus the heartburn last night - was my first real bout of it this pregnancy! Little fella is doing aerobics inside, getting punched and kicked and jabbed from all angles!!
I've had a really tough few weeks emotionally - I had surgery to remove a mild cancer growth from my face, and I was stuck at home in hiding for 2 weeks. Way too much time for me to ponder about how my marriage had fallen apart, and sheer panic at the thought of doing this on my own and I deluded myself into thinking that there was some bit of hope for us and we would get back together. I asked him if he'd be willing to go for counselling with me and his response was that he would if I wanted him to, but that his feelings were not going to change, its still over and he wants to move on.
Now, this was actually the best thing for him to say because it brought me back down to earth and I have some bit of closure now and am no longer daydreaming about unlikely possibilities - at the end of the day he has hurt me so badly that I would be insane to take him back, but I think it was fear and neediness that was making me forget about all that and imagine that there was still something there. Its weird how your emotions can just play tricks on you! Its hard to let go of a 15 year relationship too though - and the reality is that we are never going to be truly separate when there are 2 kids in the picture. 0 -
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Ah thanks, funnily enough being pregnant is like the least of my problems I've pretty much had a dream pregnancy again. I have a good support network of friends and family, and to be fair to him he does take our son a lot, so I do get rest time. But I think just being at home with nothing to do started driving me a bit crazy.
The surgery actually went very well and it is healing quite nicely (according to the plastic surgeon), hopefully it will look back to normal in another few weeks.
Just stay out of the sun girls!!!!!
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Hi comongethappy,
I think you are American, are you? Can I ask your advice? I'm Irish and living in America. Some of my friends and some work colleagues here have offered to throw me baby showers. I resisted at first, as it feels too much of a culture shock for me (all I saw was celebrating before the baby actually gets here and also the whole thing of throwing it so people bring gifts. I know that it means more than that here but from the outside that's what it appears to be). I finally agreed as they weren't letting me away with it, and this baby will be a little American so I might as well get into the culture! However, I'm clueless and I don't want to offend any of my friends by asking them these stupid questions in case they think I don't appreciate their efforts. I was invited to one in December but couldn't make it as I was traveling, so I've no experience of them. I hope you can help, thanks.
My questions are:
-How prevalent are the games, themes, activities etc? They seem a bit, well, OTT! Is it bad to have a baby shower without such things? Can I even say that I don't want them or will that spoil the whole thing?
-3 different people have offered to host - one from work and 2 from outside work. Is it the norm to just have one party or do people have a work one and a personal-friends one?
- on the 2 people who offered that are personal friends, I'm thinking it would be best to just have one party for all my non-work friends as there is some overlap between the two groups of friends. But I don't want to piss off either of the two girls who offered by choosing one. Does there have to be one host or can a couple of people co-host?
- Does it have to be all women? I'd like my other half to be involved, as he is involved in all the other baby-stuff too. His friends are mainly within the same groups as mine, so it would be a party with friends. And I'm not much of a girly girl so the presence of a few guys might dilute the frills
-Is there a usual time? I'd like to leave it as late as possible (I'm due Sept 16th) so sometime late august.
-who supplies and pays for the food/drinks/games provided?
I've been reading this but it kind of scared me:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-shower-games_10300277.bc
Thanks a mill for any advice you can give me!
MiA0 -
madeinamerica wrote: »Hi comongethappy,
I think you are American, are you? Can I ask your advice? I'm Irish and living in America. Some of my friends and some work afolleagues here have offered to throw me baby showers. I resisted at first, as it feels too much of a culture shock for me (all I saw was celebrating before the baby actually gets here and also the whole thing of throwing it so people bring gifts. I know that it means more than that here but from the outside that's what it appears to be). I finally agreed as they weren't letting me away with it, and this baby will be a little American so I might as well get into the culture! However, I'm clueless and I don't want to offend any of my friends by asking them these stupid questions in case they think I don't appreciate their efforts. I was invited to one in December but couldn't make it as I was traveling, so I've no experience of them. I hope you can help, thanks.
My questions are:
-How prevalent are the games, themes, activities etc? They seem a bit, well, OTT! Is it bad to have a baby shower without such things? Can I even say that I don't want them or will that spoil the whole thing?
-3 different people have offered to host - one from work and 2 from outside work. Is it the norm to just have one party or do people have a work one and a personal-friends one?
- on the 2 people who offered that are personal friends, I'm thinking it would be best to just have one party for all my non-work friends as there is some overlap between the two groups of friends. But I don't want to piss off either of the two girls who offered by choosing one. Does there have to be one host or can a couple of people co-host?
- Does it have to be all women? I'd like my other half to be involved, as he is involved in all the other baby-stuff too. His friends are mainly within the same groups as mine, so it would be a party with friends. And I'm not much of a girly girl so the presence of a few guys might dilute the frills
-Is there a usual time? I'd like to leave it as late as possible (I'm due Sept 16th) so sometime late august.
-who supplies and pays for the food/drinks/games provided?
I've been reading this but it kind of scared me:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-shower-games_10300277.bc
Thanks a mill for any advice you can give me!
MiA
Hi MIA, I know a baby shower can feel awkward, especially when you know it's happening in advance! However, you would be amazed at people's generosity and the amount of things you will get for the baby! I was thrown a surprise shower when I went home in May - I really had no clue it was happening as normally you have the shower well into the third trimester and I thought I was just meeting my aunt's for lunch!
- games: It really depends on who is hosting it and where it's thrown. A lot of house parties will have some games, and the host will be expected to buy prizes for them. Again, it could be small cheap prizes like a bath set or some people go for gift cards. However, when I was home, we had the shower in the Olive Garden, so my mom and the hosts didn't do games (after all, there were other tables around and they didn't want to take over the area), so they paid for the guests lunches in lieu of the normal game prizes and guest bags.
Hosts : People can co-host parties. It's great as it can take the burden off of one person. My SIL here in Ireland wanted a baby shower, so I coorganised with one of her friends. You can have a separate work / friends party, or you can get the numbers for the three people and give them to one another to work together on a singular party. It all depends on the size of both groups and how you feel they would mesh together. You may be better off having separate work and friends parties. Also, most likely your MIL and any SIL you have will expect to be invited to a baby shower (if one is not being organised by his family, which your host can find out), so it might be a chance to choose which you would rather have them at by giving their details to the host.
Men at the party - traditionally, it's a ladies only affair, but more often men are being included as they are taking on a bigger role. Say it to the host that you would like the hubby and some of his friends involved too, and pass on their details. If games are involved, it could be cool to have a men vs women general baby knowledge quiz.
Timing - most often it's late in the last trimester, 2 - 8 weeks before your due date. This is because you have an very high chance of a baby surviving if it's born early at this stage.
Who pays - generally the hosts, but if you don't want the burden to be solely on them (example -you want to invite friends outside the hosts circle or in laws, or you know they are strapped for cash), you can offer to pitch in 50 - 100 towards food or gifts. If you think that they won't take the money, ask your husband to offer it to them as he wants to help too ;-)
Also, many gift givers will provide gift receipts for returns /exchanges. However, many mums to be will register for baby gifts. It helps against duplication and if you have a late shower, you don't want to go around trying to return items from different shops when you don't have the energy. When you find out who's hosting, go to target or walmart and register for some little bits there, and maybe a shop like buy buy baby for a couple more expensive items or group gifts. It gives the chance for people who don't have a lot to spend to pick up cheaper gifts, while a group could pitch in towards a more expensive item. Just remember to tell the hosts where you are registered so they can mention it on the invite0 -
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