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Shortest jokes ever!

13567…10

Comments

  • #62
    tfitzgerald
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,289 ✭✭✭tfitzgerald


    Bootup wrote: »
    I spent some time in the Ukraine last year, and had a chick in Kiev.

    Wow! I bet she was tasty


  • #63
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Bootup wrote: »
    I spent some time in the Ukraine last year, and had a chick in Kiev.

    Was there garlic run-off?


  • #64
    peteandjenn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 72 ✭✭peteandjenn


    Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
    Cut off your head.

    :D:D


  • #65
    Frynge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Frynge


    outside of dogs books are a mans best friend

    inside of dogs it is too dark to read


  • #66
    peteandjenn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 72 ✭✭peteandjenn


    WHAT DID THE GHOST SAY TO THE BEE?
    BOO-BEE

    You can have that one


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  • #67
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    I was going to make a joke about my wife's cooking.Then I realised it was in bad taste.


  • #68
    tayto lover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 55,571 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    Bootup wrote: »
    I was going to make a joke about my wife's cooking.Then I realised it was in bad taste.

    My wife has a Black Belt in cookery. She could kill you with a single chop.


  • #69
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    How do you make a Pirate angry? Take the P out of him.


  • #70
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Bootup wrote: »
    I spent some time in the Ukraine last year, and had a chick in Kiev.

    did you nuke her to get her warmed up?


  • #71
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    If you shot a mime artist - would you use a silencer?


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  • #72
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Two homosexual Irishmen: Patrick Fitzwilliam and William Fitzpatrick.


  • #73
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Hear about the gay magician? He dissapeared with a puff


  • #74
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Two cannibals are eating a clown.One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"


  • #75
    Attie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭Attie


    "Don't sweat petty stuff, and don't pet sweaty stuff"
    "Man who put cream in tart not always baker"
    "Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly"
    "Virginity like bubble - one prick and all gone"
    "Panties not the best thing in the earth, but next to it"
    "It takes many nails to make a crib, but only one screw to fill it"
    "Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails"
    Attie


  • #76
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Are you allowed to kiss a nun? Yes, but don't get into the habit


  • #77
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Did you hear the one about the man with five dicks?His pants fit like a glove.


  • #78
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.


  • #79
    hop2it
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 151 ✭✭hop2it


    statistically 6 out of 7 dwarf's are not happy


  • #80
    Attie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭Attie


    All money is tainted, taint none of it mine.


  • #81
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.


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  • #82
    jackiebaron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,038 ✭✭✭jackiebaron


    **** is a waste of fücking time.


  • #83
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Did you hear about the cannibal who was late to dinner? He got the cold shoulder.


  • #84
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"


  • #85
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Was the red sea formed during the period of Cleopatra?


  • #86
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.


  • #87
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.


  • #88
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    Went to a weight watchers meeting last night. Opened a packet of maltesers and threw them all on the floor. Best game of hungry hippos ive ever seen !


  • #89
    micawber
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 115 ✭✭micawber


    Real Madrid - 2 Surreal Madrid - Fish


  • #90
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.


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  • #91
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What do you call an Irish lesbian....Gaelic


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