Those little tips and tricks that make life that little bit easier.

forfuxsake

TEMPLAR KNIGHT wrote: »

2 in the pink and 1 in the stink......

So 2011, three in the goo and two in the poo!

madwidow

cry more, you'll pee less

Kev.OC

madwidow wrote: »

cry more, you'll pee less

So does that mean that someone who often wakes up during the night to pee, if they cry themselves to sleep, they won't wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the jacks?

madwidow

Kev.OC wrote: »

So does that mean that someone who often wakes up during the night to pee, if they cry themselves to sleep, they won't wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the jacks?

in theory, anyone up for testing it thought ?

YoureSoVain

A few weeks before Christmas or a family members birthday you should develope a very "sensitive" personality. You can be easily hurt or offended by things people say and fall out with them over it. Once Christmas/birthday has passed you can talk to them again. This way you save yourself money by not buying them a present

veryangryman

Sorry to bump but these are class. Any fresh ones you know?

donegal_road

I vaguely remember posting this before, although it might not have been on this thread.

Once when I was stuck, I refilled an inkjet colour cartridge using food colouring, and it worked.

mauzo

MUSIC LOVERS. Make sure to butter the non reflective side of your CDs so that if you drop it, it lands butter side down, thus preventing any scratches to the mirror side.

kraggy

Have the breakfast last thing at night.

Saves time in the morning.

mauzo

HUSBANDS. Cheer yourself up by watching your wedding video in reverse. You'll love the bit where you give her back the ring, walk back up the aisle, get into a car and f*ck off.

mauzo

MEN. CAN'T get a blow job? Simply strip bollock naked, plonk yourself arse-first into an empty dustbin, and you should be able to do it yourself. Use a pile of tyres instead of a dustbin if you require deep throat.

podgemonster

Instead of buying expenive popcorn at a cinema simply bring in a salt shaker and a sheet of cradboard. Sprinkle salk on cardboard and lick occasionally to get that lovely taste.

Sick of people stealing your pringles? Place a loading mousetap inside the tube.

Mothers: Finding it difficult to choose Godparents for your newborn, save time and stress by simply getting your partner to pull out on time and blowing his load on the floor.

mauzo

COMMUTERS. When you leave your house, sprint the first 200 yards and then revert back to your regular walking speed. This will save you from having to do the run of shame for the bus nearer the stop and look like a fool when you miss it.

Laika1986

Store sausages in your shirt pocket,that way you can snack on them any time without getting your fingers greasy.

Latchy

To save having to go up and down all the time ,stack your washed and dried clothes on the stairs and take them up when going to bed .Do this with other items that need to be stored or put away upstairs ...it saves on the legs .

csi vegas

MCMLXXV wrote: »

After eating museli wash the bowl straight away. Any longer than ten minutes and the remnants attach themselves to the bowl as if with heavy duty superglue.

Yes and bread - why when it's toasted do the crumbs become (good name for a book that!) stuck fast to the plate not so appetising when you consider they must also stick to your gut, those little balls of dough...lodged and expanding in the belly, causing aches and bloating...
I love it and hate it in equal measures - bread is bad.

FishBowel

Want to hear a band's best songs but don't want to splash out on several CDs? Buy their 'Greatest Hits' album!

Knex*

syndeyfife wrote: »

HUSBANDS. Cheer yourself up by watching your wedding video in reverse. You'll love the bit where you give her back the ring, walk back up the aisle, get into a car and f*ck off.

Kevin Bloody Wilson?

Mr.Crinklewood

syndeyfife wrote: »

MEN. CAN'T get a blow job? Simply strip bollock naked, plonk yourself arse-first into an empty dustbin, and you should be able to do it yourself. Use a pile of tyres instead of a dustbin if you require deep throat.

Unfortunately where i live dustbins have been replaced with wheelie bins. The diameter of these is much bigger, therefore leads to you simply kneeing yourself in the head, finding yourself stuck in the bottom of the bin, then having to make the bin fall over in order to get out of the bin. Is is pretty difficult to knock a bin over from the inside, it is also hard to explain to the girlfriends granny what you were doing when she found you crawling semi-naked out of a wheelie bin.

..even harder to explain to the girlfriend why you have false teeth hanging from your pubes..

Muckit

chin_grin wrote: »

You've never heard of the mini van then?

Ah lad I'm cryin' laughin' here!! :D:D

FishBowel

When eating berries it's healthier to eat more than one kind at the same time. Read that in today's Irish daily mail!

Cienciano

Twop Twips on twitter is brilliant:

CONVINCE people that your jumper is a cardigan by gluing buttons or a zip on the front

TRYING to save money? Avoid writing numbers like 8 and 4 as they use a lot of ink. 1 and 7 are much more ink efficient.

TURN a quiet country lane into the busiest road in Britain by attempting to have a piss against a hedge alongside it.

Triangular

Next time you're getting petrol, count all the coins you want rid of form your pocket and or ashtray and put that extra amount into the car.

Similarily, if you have loads of coins you want rid of, use them in a supermarket with a self service till and empty your coins in and have them counted in seconds an paying for stuff in the meantime.

cashback

You know when both plies/layers of toilet paper are at a different length? Annoying eh?
Don't chuck that roll out the window, simply unwind the outer ply and it will match the inner one.

That's probably common knowledge but it was a revelation to me as I sat on the toilet one day.

FishBowel

When in Argos use the computers there to search their catalogue as they have more items for sale than the books.

bnt

I get cold feet at night, but I don't like wearing socks in bed unless I really have to. So I've developed a little trick: fold the bottom of the duvet under my feet, so I have duvet above and below my feet and cold air doesn't get in. Just right.

MaroonAndGreen

get sky plus

FanadMan

Open your pay packet a day later each week so when it comes to the seventh week, you'll have two pay packets.....

Cienciano

More viz:


ALWAYS carry a jellyfish with you to neutralise any splashback at the urinals.

DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

CAR THIEVES: Don't be discouraged if nothing is on view. The valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

A POST-IT Note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal way to foil lip-readers.

HORSE whisperers: Speak louder. The animals will hear you more clearly, thus speeding up training times.

IrishExpat

Little gem I learned today.

Hate cutting onions and tearing up? Slosh water around in your mouth while cutting, even with your eyes wide open and it stops it somehow.

Same goes for bread, just chew away while cutting and it won´t affect you.

:pac: