Kids - what's the point?

BraziliaNZ

Hi all. I was reading on personal issues about women worrying about being too old to have kids etc, how they want them so badly, and their life would never be complete without them. I also know a few girls in their 30s that are deeply depressed by the fact that they're single and still don't have kids, it seems they want kids to make their lives complete. Why is this such an issue? Is there something programmed into women that make them broody and depressed if they don't have kids? Isn't it a bit dangerous to be pinning your happiness on the birth of a child?
I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

Seachmall

I've too much money, too much time on my hands and get too much sleep at night. The world needs to be balanced so someone needs kids to compensate for my awesomeness.

summerskin

Kids don't ruin anything, they make things many times better. Nothing comes close.

Frank Black

They're very handy for cleaning chimneys this time of year in fairness.

desertcircus

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Hi all. I was reading on personal issues about women worrying about being too old to have kids etc, how they want them so badly, and their life would never be complete without them. I also know a few girls in their 30s that are deeply depressed by the fact that they're single and still don't have kids, it seems they want kids to make their lives complete. Why is this such an issue? Is there something programmed into women that make them broody and depressed if they don't have kids? Isn't it a bit dangerous to be pinning your happiness on the birth of a child?
I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

Probably something to do with the reproductive urge being a fairly basic necessity for a species to survive...

looksee

Of course women are programmed to want children, it is the only reason any of us are here.

listermint

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Hi all. I was reading on personal issues about women worrying about being too old to have kids etc, how they want them so badly, and their life would never be complete without them. I also know a few girls in their 30s that are deeply depressed by the fact that they're single and still don't have kids, it seems they want kids to make their lives complete. Why is this such an issue? Is there something programmed into women that make them broody and depressed if they don't have kids? Isn't it a bit dangerous to be pinning your happiness on the birth of a child?
I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

And then you die lonely in a bed with no one around....

All your friends will be off with their kids

Rocky_Dennis

listermint wrote: »

And then you die lonely in a bed with no one around....

All your friends will be off with their kids

Haha, that's the first thing that crossed my mind and that he will end up in a nursing home cause he will have no kids to mind him

barbiegirl

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings. If you lack the urge to have kids that's fine and perfectly acceptable. There have always been people who don't wants kids and you are one.

I, and the majority of people feel the biological urge/need to have kids. It is preprogrammed in. When I ask why I want kids the answers are
To see some of the people I love, like my Dad who passed away, in a new generation.
To love them, and give them a life of joy, happiness and hope.
To create our own little family with the noise, laughter, crying, arguing and general mayhem that a happy family comes with.

Having been trying for 3 years and suffering 3 miscarriages, my sincere hope is that 2012 will bring a little babs to us.

abouttobebanned

I have a seven month old. And she's the only good thing that happened in my life this year. You need to have a child...to see them smile up to you in the morning, put their finger in your nose and fish hook you...

Well you need to have one to know.

hoodwinked

the point is that the positives far outweigh the negatives, usually. (well there are always exceptions)


also what if your parents decided they weren't having any children? you wouldn't have been here to post this...

dvpower

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

You are at the end of a long line of your ancestors stretching back millions and millions of years who all have one thing in common - they all had kids.

But I can understand that if you think you ruined everything for your parents and did nothing but sapped their resources, it might be better for you to opt out of the genetic line.

TwoShedsJackson

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

Haha, that's the first thing that crossed my mind and that he will end up in a nursing home cause he will have no kids to mind him

Having kids so that you have someone to look after you when you're old is about the most selfish reason you can have them for.

Not to mention that half of them are ungrateful little pri<ks who won't bother their arses anyway...

starbelgrade

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal.

Wait until you hit 32/33 and your body starts screaming.. "FILL ME UP WITH BABIES!!".

Don't ask me how or why, but it happens most women... nearly all of them go baby crazy before they hit 35. I suppose it's nature's way of telling them that biologically, the window of opportunity on their time to reproduce is about to expire.

OldGoat

My kids are my retirement plan. And when I need that new liver...

irelandrover

A reason to have kids is so that no-one can use "you don't have kids so you wouldn't understand" argument anymore.

BraziliaNZ

I don't expect anyone to mind me. Anyway I have bupa, and the girls in Thailand always stay young.

ronan45

Why do woman put pressure on for kids? To appease their mothers who drop hints at every chance given. "Oh thats a nice baby grow isnt it." "oh that baby is adorable when are you starting your own family?"

Ill start it when you butt out and leave me alone

Frank Black

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

Having kids so that you have someone to look after you when you're old is about the most selfish reason you can have them for.

All reasons for having children is ultimately selfish. It's one of the most narcissistic things a person can do.

So what?

Abi

abouttobebanned wrote: »

I have a seven month old. And she's the only good thing that happened in my life this year. You need to have a child...to see them smile up to you in the morning, put their finger in your nose and fish hook you...

Well you need to have one to know.

^ made me laugh

starbelgrade wrote: »

I suppose it's nature's way of telling them that biologically, the window of opportunity on their time to reproduce is about to expire.

^ That prolly.


Though it would be fair to say that as some men don't want children, there are also women who don't want children. It's not only women that get broody either.

saa

Op Im sure you can see some reasons beyond your own, parents do give up a huge amount of their cash and old lifestyle to benefit someone else, its an urge I have but it just comes out in the form of community work or teaching for me, I'm a caregiver. Everything I do is orientated around helping others its a personality thing I don't care for money as long as I can get by I'd go without if it meant spending time with others I just have a lot of love to give.
Its perfectly normal not to want children and if someone does want children and its hasn't happened for them I doubt it was a deliberate to decision to want to them and certainly one that is too late to reverse.


It's dangerous to put all your reasons for living into one basket, i.e kids, religion, work, partner etc. But ya get over it.

Some people are caregivers and will never cease to want to look after others, some people are very family orientated and a life without family doesn't work as well as it does for other folk.

saa

Op Im sure you can see some reasons beyond your own, parents do give up a huge amount of their cash and old lifestyle to benefit someone else, its an urge I have but it just comes out in the form of community work or teaching for me, I'm a caregiver. Everything I do is orientated around helping others its a personality thing I don't care for money as long as I can get by I'd go without if it meant spending time with others I just have a lot of love to give.
Its perfectly normal not to want children and if someone does want children and its hasn't happened for them I doubt it was a deliberate to decision to want to them and certainly one that is too late to reverse.


It's dangerous to put all your reasons for living into one basket, i.e kids, religion, work, partner etc. But ya get over it.

Some people are caregivers and will never cease to want to look after others, some people are very family orientated and a life without family doesn't work as well as it does for other folk.

stovelid

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

without the horrible little bastards ruining everything.

Merely a projection of your ma's bad experience.

Gophur

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

............
I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

Your parents thought the same!

BraziliaNZ

stovelid wrote: »

Merely a projection of your ma's bad experience.

no, she seems to like me for some reason

BraziliaNZ

Gophur wrote: »

Your parents thought the same!

No I think my ma was keen on it from a young age. Shouldn't people have less kids now that we're consuming more and the population i exploding anyway?

Abi

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Shouldn't people have less kids now that we're consuming more and the population i exploding anyway?

I thought they were? I mean, in our parents generation and our grandparents generation there were much bigger families. It's fairly common to see one / two child families now, or so I thought?

jester77

Nothing worse than being a single guy in his mid-30s!

stovelid

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

no, she seems to like me for some reason

Biological imperative is a curious thing.

RichT

listermint wrote: »

And then you die lonely in a bed with no one around....

All your friends will be off with their kids

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

Haha, that's the first thing that crossed my mind and that he will end up in a nursing home cause he will have no kids to mind him

I wouldn't be so confident that your kids wont pack you off to the nursing home first chance they get.

Duckworth_Luas

looksee wrote: »

Of course women are programmed to want children, it is the only reason any of us are here.

Ah, women are here to make men sandwiches! Did you not learn biology in school?