Kids - what's the point?

stupidusername

Ray Palmer wrote: »

There is actually a huge social pressure for people to have kids. I used to think that was what really made woman go mad for babies. Then my friends hit 30 and went nuts.

Friends said they would get pregant with anyone!

They would get pregnant with somebody else if there partner couldn't do it.

Woman came off the pill and never told their partners. (Worked out fine for one and terribly for another couple)

I remember there being a few studies done and woman said they wouldn't tell their partner if they were carrying somebody elses' child. What was worse was that woman would lie to cover up this situation for somebody else even if it was their own family memeber who was cheated on!

this really makes women out to all be bitches.

smash wrote: »

For people that don't want kids, what will happen to any savings or assets you have when you die? Gonna donate them to a charity?

You could end up living a very lonely life in your later years too.

I don't care if I'm lonely later in life, it's not worth it. If I have any assets or savings I'll give them to family or charity. easy really.

JerryHandbag wrote: »

Don't have any kids and don't think I ever will.

I'd rather a few dogs, a cat, and a team of highly trained monkeys.

exactly what I want! a few dogs, birds maybe...

saa

Oh and there are countries I suppose that don't have enough youth, I would not have more children because there was a crisis looming and I certainly would not abstain from having a child in an act of civil obedience.

hooradiation

smash wrote: »

For people that don't want kids, what will happen to any savings or assets you have when you die? Gonna donate them to a charity?

Maybe?
The bigger question is why do you think the allocation of your worldly goods after you've finally stopped living is any sort of a point for or against having a child?

DublinWriter

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Isn't it a bit dangerous to be pinning your happiness on the birth of a child?

Maybe that's a question for your parents?

BraziliaNZ

DublinWriter wrote: »

Maybe that's a question for your parents?

They seem really content now though, they are living the life in South of France

Onthe3rdDay

saa wrote: »

Now replaced by the less conventional model

Leave college
go on the dole
get sporadic work
stay in rented accommodation
discover your contraception's failed
bring up kid
go on state pension.

Everyone's life seems terrible and pointless boiled down like that, although I hate those tick the boxes folk

Without a kid my life could be

Leave college
go on dole
get sporadic work
stay in rented accommodation
go on state pension

Some variations within that are win the lotto, get hired as a professor or lose a leg. All rather unlikely.

Don't understand the disdain on both sides, I would never look down upon anyone for not having a child or for having a child.
If you don't I'm sure you're doing plenty of other things to add to the national and global crisis, never mind what Enda Kenny says :cool:.

I personally don't care what other people do, However so many in life follow that exact plan and if it doesn't happen that way society tries to make them feel a failure.

If you want a child you should have one, but for the right reasons.
Reasons listed on this subject so far have included, not wanting to be lonely, carrying on the gene pool and wealth management!!!

stupidusername

I always assumed i'd get married and have children, buy a house etc., but then I realised it was just that, an assumption. not enough people question what they do, or are expected to do. you should look at what you really want to do with your life.

I think people should feel the responsibility to consider if they should have children or not. knowing the family I've come from I don't think I should have children, besides not wanting to.

I can't see why people have this need to have children anyway. but I dunno, maybe i'm the exception.

hooradiation

Onthe3rdDay wrote: »

I personally don't care what other people do, However so many in life follow that exact plan and if it doesn't happen that way society tries to make them feel a failure.

If you want a child you should have one, but for the right reasons.
Reasons listed on this subject so far have included, not wanting to be lonely, carrying on the gene pool and wealth management!!!

Well, that does assume there is such a thing as a 'right' reason for having a child.

I can't think of one myself.

saa

You don't have to have kids and make a family the same way I don't have to keep in contact with any of my family.

Oh well it's family "you have to"

Have to my árse.

Kinski

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Is there something programmed into women that make them broody and depressed if they don't have kids?

Sharrow wrote: »

Yes.

The biological clock, it's hormonal as a woman's fertility starts to decline and she has not had a child the hormonal system, does it's damnedest to try and make her crank one out.

Or maybe educated single women of a certain age who really want children just happen to know that their fertility is going to decline, and get depressed if they see little opportunity for them to have a child with a committed partner in the near future.

Why do these "biological" or "evolutionary" explanations hold such sway in the popular imagination? If we're to believe the "hormones are making them broody" explanation, then why don't we see hordes of single 35 years old women rushing out to night clubs and having unproctected sex with random strangers, as their "evolutionary impulses" override their common sense? Oh, it's because they want to have those children in the context of a loving, committed relationship. Maybe you should weigh these "biological" reasons against social and cultural factors.

bronte

smash wrote: »

For people that don't want kids, what will happen to any savings or assets you have when you die? Gonna donate them to a charity?

You could end up living a very lonely life in your later years too.

I'm leaving everything to a cat charity.
Some of us have other family members besides the ones who came out of us to leave things to. Thirdly if the only way you can convince people to spend time with you is to biologically tie them to yourself, I worry for your social skills.

Wattle

We need less children not more. The earths population is 7 billion and we can barely cope with that. In another 70 years it will be 14 billion. How's that going to work? People who decide not to procreate should be commended and encouraged.

Yakult

stupidusername wrote: »

I don't care if I'm lonely later in life, it's not worth it. If I have any assets or savings I'll give them to family or charity. easy really.

You really don't know that.

stupidusername

Yakult wrote: »

You really don't know that.

No, I do. It's not worth it to me.

bronte

Yakult wrote: »

You really don't know that.

And you know that it is worth it? For everyone?

Type " I regret having children" Or "I hate being a mother" into google.

Makes for some interesting reading.

Pin_Cushion

Wattle wrote: »

We need less children not more. The earths population is 7 billion and we can barely cope with that. In another 70 years it will be 14 billion. How's that going to work? People who decide not to procreate should be commended and encouraged.

So many of these theories and ideas being put across like as if we're all devoted to some grand social engineering scheme. I doubt it makes any difference whatsoever to people when they're having kids (or not) about what the growth of the human race looks like on a graph or how much water there might be in the year 2525.

TeddyTedson

Even though I want to pass on my genetic code ftw, I'm not looking forward to raising them, especially as small kids. Saturday night staying in feeding the baby and everything:rolleyes: Having to have those stupid childish conversations where they just ask retarded questions. There's nothing glamorous about the procedure, especially from a mans point of view. Women ofter get obsessed with them too, they obsess over their kids and lose a personality. It's actually very depressing to think about.

eviltwin

Its a personal choice and not one anyone should have to justify. I love my two, best things that every happened to me. Having them was like waking up to a world of colour after living in black and white. I grew up in an abusive home and never thought I would want kids of my own but they have been wonderfully healing and helped me more than all my years of therapy.

Ray Palmer

stupidusername wrote: »

this really makes women out to all be bitches.

Your view but I didn't suggest these things and didn't answer the questions in the study. Some of my female friends were shocked by what they heard but when it comes to babies many past the age of 30 seem to think anything is fair.

eviltwin

I'm sure a certain type of person is self centered enough to do something like that. Thankfully most people still have a bit of backbone and won't railroad over anyone to get their own way. Maybe you need to find new friends Ray.

TeddyTedson

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Even though I want to pass on my genetic code ftw, I'm not looking forward to raising them, especially as small kids. Saturday night staying in feeding the baby and everything:rolleyes: Having to have those stupid childish conversations where they just ask retarded questions. There's nothing glamorous about the procedure, especially from a mans point of view. Women ofter get obsessed with them too, they obsess over their kids and lose a personality. It's actually very depressing to think about.

I'm ranting a bit here, don't take this too much to heart, it's Monday and I'm full of rage.

Teyla Emmagan

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Your view but I didn't suggest these things and didn't answer the questions in the study. Some of my female friends were shocked by what they heard but when it comes to babies many past the age of 30 seem to think anything is fair.

For the greater majority of women their fertility doesn't start to decline until after 35. Your friends may have been over reacting a bit with their rabid desire to get pregnant.

Personally I don't think tricking someone into having a baby with you is ever going to prove a good move.

eviltwin

One of the previous boards I used to visit has become a no go area now that most of the posters have children. Its nothing but nappies, bottles and sleepless nights. Beyond tedious to read. And I say that as a parent...I pity the childless ones. There are plenty of parenting sites for people who want to bore us all with the details of their little darlings. But honestly sooner or later they are going to have to realise no one cares!!!!

BraziliaNZ

Pin_Cushion wrote: »

So many of these theories and ideas being put across like as if we're all devoted to some grand social engineering scheme. I doubt it makes any difference whatsoever to people when they're having kids (or not) about what the growth of the human race looks like on a graph or how much water there might be in the year 2525.

No people obviously aren't thinking about this but we should be. Also people seem to think Ireland can sustain way more people (even though the whole country is devoid of trees) but we consume probably 100 times what a Bangladeshi person consumes, so it's not an excuse to say we have space.

smash

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Also people seem to think Ireland can sustain way more people (even though the whole country is devoid of trees)

Most of the country is farmland, and there's a few hundred thousand un occupied houses. We can definitely facilitate more people.

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

but we consume probably 100 times what a Bangladeshi person consumes

Eh... We're a first world country.

Wattle

Pin_Cushion wrote: »

So many of these theories and ideas being put across like as if we're all devoted to some grand social engineering scheme. I doubt it makes any difference whatsoever to people when they're having kids (or not) about what the growth of the human race looks like on a graph or how much water there might be in the year 2525.

I know they don't think about the long term. It's the same with climate change. We are just coasting towards disaster with our fingers in our ears going 'lalalalalalala'. The planet is not meant to sustain 14 billion people. Personally I think I'm getting off at the right time.

BraziliaNZ

smash wrote: »

Most of the country is farmland, and there's a few hundred thousand un occupied houses. We can definitely facilitate more people.


Eh... We're a first world country.

Well the world isn't working the way things are, the West consume too much. Being rich is not an excuse for destroying the Earth, which is what we do by buying into mass consumerism.

Guy:Incognito

Much like all the people that give out about the waste of buying a brand new car and say that no one should and that they should all buy 2nd hand cars.........

MrThrifty

bronte wrote: »

And you know that it is worth it? For everyone?

Type " I regret having children" Or "I hate being a mother" into google.

Makes for some interesting reading.

Here, here! I know people who work in childcare and there seem to be a considerable amount of parents out there who regret having kids and also others who clearly make for terrible parents.

But sure, heaven forbid, if everyone were to do the sensible thing and actually think twice before going ahead and having a kid, sure where would the world of capitalism be without serious population growth... I remember studying Geography in Junior Cert and learning about how Germany had a big problem because of their decaying population - was always puzzled over why this was really such a problem given the fact that at the end of the day the resources on this planet are limited.

Kojak

The only reason to have kids is to claim more money on the dole, although with the changes in the last budget, it doesn't look like its worth it anymore