Kids - what's the point?

BraziliaNZ · 19-12-2011 9:40am #1

Hi all. I was reading on personal issues about women worrying about being too old to have kids etc, how they want them so badly, and their life would never be complete without them. I also know a few girls in their 30s that are deeply depressed by the fact that they're single and still don't have kids, it seems they want kids to make their lives complete. Why is this such an issue? Is there something programmed into women that make them broody and depressed if they don't have kids? Isn't it a bit dangerous to be pinning your happiness on the birth of a child?
I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

Seachmall · 19-12-2011 9:43am

I've too much money, too much time on my hands and get too much sleep at night. The world needs to be balanced so someone needs kids to compensate for my awesomeness.

summerskin · 19-12-2011 9:44am

Kids don't ruin anything, they make things many times better. Nothing comes close.

Frank Black · 19-12-2011 9:44am

They're very handy for cleaning chimneys this time of year in fairness.

desertcircus · 19-12-2011 9:45am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Hi all. I was reading on personal issues about women worrying about being too old to have kids etc, how they want them so badly, and their life would never be complete without them. I also know a few girls in their 30s that are deeply depressed by the fact that they're single and still don't have kids, it seems they want kids to make their lives complete. Why is this such an issue? Is there something programmed into women that make them broody and depressed if they don't have kids? Isn't it a bit dangerous to be pinning your happiness on the birth of a child?
I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

Probably something to do with the reproductive urge being a fairly basic necessity for a species to survive...

looksee · 19-12-2011 9:45am

Of course women are programmed to want children, it is the only reason any of us are here.

listermint · 19-12-2011 9:46am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Hi all. I was reading on personal issues about women worrying about being too old to have kids etc, how they want them so badly, and their life would never be complete without them. I also know a few girls in their 30s that are deeply depressed by the fact that they're single and still don't have kids, it seems they want kids to make their lives complete. Why is this such an issue? Is there something programmed into women that make them broody and depressed if they don't have kids? Isn't it a bit dangerous to be pinning your happiness on the birth of a child?
I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

And then you die lonely in a bed with no one around....

All your friends will be off with their kids

Rocky_Dennis · 19-12-2011 9:48am

listermint wrote: »

And then you die lonely in a bed with no one around....

All your friends will be off with their kids

Haha, that's the first thing that crossed my mind and that he will end up in a nursing home cause he will have no kids to mind him

barbiegirl · 19-12-2011 9:52am

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings. If you lack the urge to have kids that's fine and perfectly acceptable. There have always been people who don't wants kids and you are one.

I, and the majority of people feel the biological urge/need to have kids. It is preprogrammed in. When I ask why I want kids the answers are
To see some of the people I love, like my Dad who passed away, in a new generation.
To love them, and give them a life of joy, happiness and hope.
To create our own little family with the noise, laughter, crying, arguing and general mayhem that a happy family comes with.

Having been trying for 3 years and suffering 3 miscarriages, my sincere hope is that 2012 will bring a little babs to us.

abouttobebanned · 19-12-2011 9:53am

I have a seven month old. And she's the only good thing that happened in my life this year. You need to have a child...to see them smile up to you in the morning, put their finger in your nose and fish hook you...

Well you need to have one to know.

hoodwinked · 19-12-2011 9:53am

the point is that the positives far outweigh the negatives, usually. (well there are always exceptions)

also what if your parents decided they weren't having any children? you wouldn't have been here to post this...

dvpower · 19-12-2011 9:53am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

You are at the end of a long line of your ancestors stretching back millions and millions of years who all have one thing in common - they all had kids.

But I can understand that if you think you ruined everything for your parents and did nothing but sapped their resources, it might be better for you to opt out of the genetic line.

TwoShedsJackson · 19-12-2011 9:55am

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

Haha, that's the first thing that crossed my mind and that he will end up in a nursing home cause he will have no kids to mind him

Having kids so that you have someone to look after you when you're old is about the most selfish reason you can have them for.

Not to mention that half of them are ungrateful little pri<ks who won't bother their arses anyway...

starbelgrade · 19-12-2011 9:56am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal.

Wait until you hit 32/33 and your body starts screaming.. "FILL ME UP WITH BABIES!!".

Don't ask me how or why, but it happens most women... nearly all of them go baby crazy before they hit 35. I suppose it's nature's way of telling them that biologically, the window of opportunity on their time to reproduce is about to expire.

OldGoat · 19-12-2011 9:56am

My kids are my retirement plan. And when I need that new liver...

irelandrover · 19-12-2011 9:56am

A reason to have kids is so that no-one can use "you don't have kids so you wouldn't understand" argument anymore.

BraziliaNZ · 19-12-2011 9:59am

I don't expect anyone to mind me. Anyway I have bupa, and the girls in Thailand always stay young.

ronan45 · 19-12-2011 9:59am

Why do woman put pressure on for kids? To appease their mothers who drop hints at every chance given. "Oh thats a nice baby grow isnt it." "oh that baby is adorable when are you starting your own family?"

Ill start it when you butt out and leave me alone

Frank Black · 19-12-2011 10:03am

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

Having kids so that you have someone to look after you when you're old is about the most selfish reason you can have them for.

All reasons for having children is ultimately selfish. It's one of the most narcissistic things a person can do.

So what?

Abi · 19-12-2011 10:04am

abouttobebanned wrote: »

I have a seven month old. And she's the only good thing that happened in my life this year. You need to have a child...to see them smile up to you in the morning, put their finger in your nose and fish hook you...

Well you need to have one to know.

^ made me laugh

starbelgrade wrote: »

I suppose it's nature's way of telling them that biologically, the window of opportunity on their time to reproduce is about to expire.

^ That prolly.

Though it would be fair to say that as some men don't want children, there are also women who don't want children. It's not only women that get broody either.

saa · 19-12-2011 10:05am

Op Im sure you can see some reasons beyond your own, parents do give up a huge amount of their cash and old lifestyle to benefit someone else, its an urge I have but it just comes out in the form of community work or teaching for me, I'm a caregiver. Everything I do is orientated around helping others its a personality thing I don't care for money as long as I can get by I'd go without if it meant spending time with others I just have a lot of love to give.
Its perfectly normal not to want children and if someone does want children and its hasn't happened for them I doubt it was a deliberate to decision to want to them and certainly one that is too late to reverse.

It's dangerous to put all your reasons for living into one basket, i.e kids, religion, work, partner etc. But ya get over it.

Some people are caregivers and will never cease to want to look after others, some people are very family orientated and a life without family doesn't work as well as it does for other folk.

saa · 19-12-2011 10:05am

Op Im sure you can see some reasons beyond your own, parents do give up a huge amount of their cash and old lifestyle to benefit someone else, its an urge I have but it just comes out in the form of community work or teaching for me, I'm a caregiver. Everything I do is orientated around helping others its a personality thing I don't care for money as long as I can get by I'd go without if it meant spending time with others I just have a lot of love to give.
Its perfectly normal not to want children and if someone does want children and its hasn't happened for them I doubt it was a deliberate to decision to want to them and certainly one that is too late to reverse.

It's dangerous to put all your reasons for living into one basket, i.e kids, religion, work, partner etc. But ya get over it.

Some people are caregivers and will never cease to want to look after others, some people are very family orientated and a life without family doesn't work as well as it does for other folk.

stovelid · 19-12-2011 10:05am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

without the horrible little bastards ruining everything.

Merely a projection of your ma's bad experience.

Gophur · 19-12-2011 10:09am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

............
I'm 31 and never want kids, I don't see the appeal. In fact, the appeal of never having any just seems fantastic, hassle free life without the horrible little bastards ruining everything and sapping your resources.

Your parents thought the same!

BraziliaNZ · 19-12-2011 10:13am

stovelid wrote: »

Merely a projection of your ma's bad experience.

no, she seems to like me for some reason

BraziliaNZ · 19-12-2011 10:16am

Gophur wrote: »

Your parents thought the same!

No I think my ma was keen on it from a young age. Shouldn't people have less kids now that we're consuming more and the population i exploding anyway?

Abi · 19-12-2011 10:18am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Shouldn't people have less kids now that we're consuming more and the population i exploding anyway?

I thought they were? I mean, in our parents generation and our grandparents generation there were much bigger families. It's fairly common to see one / two child families now, or so I thought?

jester77 · 19-12-2011 10:19am

Nothing worse than being a single guy in his mid-30s!

stovelid · 19-12-2011 10:20am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

no, she seems to like me for some reason

Biological imperative is a curious thing.

RichT · 19-12-2011 10:20am

listermint wrote: »

And then you die lonely in a bed with no one around....

All your friends will be off with their kids

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

Haha, that's the first thing that crossed my mind and that he will end up in a nursing home cause he will have no kids to mind him

I wouldn't be so confident that your kids wont pack you off to the nursing home first chance they get.

Duckworth_Luas · 19-12-2011 10:21am

looksee wrote: »

Of course women are programmed to want children, it is the only reason any of us are here.

Ah, women are here to make men sandwiches! Did you not learn biology in school?

saa · 19-12-2011 10:21am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

No I think my ma was keen on it from a young age. Shouldn't people have less kids now that we're consuming more and the population i exploding anyway?

Most women here do have less kids because of widely available contraception, the population boom is happening in areas where this is not available so women in Ireland having one child instead of two isn't going to help the cause of that issue.

Anywho your friends wanting children is a different issue to the global population boom

BraziliaNZ · 19-12-2011 10:23am

jester77 wrote: »

Nothing worse than being a single guy in his mid-30s!

What would be wrong with that?

BraziliaNZ · 19-12-2011 10:24am

saa wrote: »

Most women here do have less kids because of widely available contraception, the population boom is happening in areas where this is not available so women in Ireland having one child instead of two isn't going to help the cause of that issue.

Anywho your friends wanting children is a different issue to the global population boom

I don't know, I thought we had the highest birth rate in Europe or something

smallBiscuit · 19-12-2011 10:27am

abouttobebanned wrote: »

IYou need to have a child...to see them smile up to you in the morning, put their finger in your nose and fish hook you...
.

That can be painful, esp if you haven't cut their nails recently. What's also very painful is when they grab you by the ears to give you a kiss.

I have 3 kids, 3 8 and 18, they are bast*ds, they ruin my life, have been since I was a teenager myself.
I Wouldn't have it any other way.

Besides if I every need a kidney, lung or heart transplant, I know where to find the organs

Frank Black · 19-12-2011 10:28am

jester77 wrote: »

Nothing worse than being a single guy in his mid-30s!

What about being a sinle guy in his late 30's

Absurdum · 19-12-2011 10:32am

Aha, I see the OP has yet to discover the genius that is Peppa Pig, Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom, Elmo, Humf, Thomas The Tank Engine, and many others....

TwoShedsJackson · 19-12-2011 10:38am

http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

Super-Rush · 19-12-2011 10:38am

Abi wrote: »

It's not only women that get broody either.

Very true.

I want about 50 babies tearing the place up.

One would do though.

saa · 19-12-2011 10:39am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I don't know, I thought we had the highest birth rate in Europe or something

We may be at a similar rate but our population is so miniscule in comparison to such places as South America, Australia, India or Africa..the impact is not the same.
To keep to the thread what is the point of having kids, what is the point in question, anything can be reduced to being pointless.

Duggy747 · 19-12-2011 10:43am

The GF gets her kicks by trying to freak me out with the dreams of us having kids and the little tykes running around.................*shudder*

I can barely keep myself alive, let alone a little urchin.

AnonoBoy · 19-12-2011 10:46am

If you're being put under pressure by your partner to have a baby and you don't want one there's one simple present you can buy that will ensure they delay becoming a parent by a few years.

Duggy747 · 19-12-2011 10:48am

AnonoBoy wrote: »

If you're being put under pressure by your partner to have a baby and you don't want one there's one simple present you can buy that will ensure they delay becoming a parent by a few years.

Well, she's fairly superstitious.

Maybe an aul gander at Rosemary's Baby :pac:...............

flutterflye · 19-12-2011 10:49am

My daughter is my favourite thing in the whole world.
She can make me happy when nothing or no one else can.
All she has to do is smile at me.
She's just great

UglyBolloxFace · 19-12-2011 10:52am

summerskin wrote: »

Kids don't ruin anything, they make things many times better. Nothing comes close.

Except your boyfriend who made you pregnant.

RichieC · 19-12-2011 10:54am

we need an army of ****rats to fight the next great war.

Morag · 19-12-2011 10:55am

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Why is this such an issue? Is there something programmed into women that make them broody and depressed if they don't have kids?

Yes.

The biological clock, it's hormonal as a woman's fertility starts to decline and she has not had a child the hormonal system, does it's damnedest to try and make her crank one out.

hoodwinked · 19-12-2011 10:58am

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Except your boyfriend who made you pregnant.

shes right not even the boyfriend who made you pregnant comes close,

they are in 2nd, but no where near 1st,

he says the same to me :pac:

flutterflye · 19-12-2011 11:00am

hoodwinked wrote: »

shes right not even the boyfriend who made you pregnant comes close,

they are in 2nd, but no where near 1st,

he says the same to me :pac:

Well in fairness, they do have to come close enough to get you preggers in the first place

Abi · 19-12-2011 11:01am

El Pistolero wrote: »

Very true.

I want about 50 babies tearing the place up.

One would do though.

Until the comments start flowing in about leaving your child an 'only child' and 'would ye not give them a brother / sister'.

Interfering aul bag syndrome, mark my words :pac:

hoodwinked · 19-12-2011 11:02am

flutterflye wrote: »

Well in fairness, they do have to come close enough to get you preggers in the first place

well they were in 1st before the baby was born so....:pac:

Kids - what's the point?

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