LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

steddyeddy

stupidusername wrote: »

i know what you're saying wibbs, but really I am that bad. not even two months in and it's already that bad.

thanks for all the attempts, it really is so nice, but well, no one can help. i'll be better after a good sleep, probably. i'll have a clearer head anyway.

Stupidusername describe a bad person I bet its nowhere near who you actually are.

Ambient Occlusion

My family apparently has a history of depression but I don't really know if it's genetic or not. I don't know if I suffer from depression at all but I'll just say what I experience.
It seems to me that every chance I get to truly review my life or think things over I feel profoundly and deeply sad and miserable. I criticise each and every aspect of life that I have shortcomings in and curse everything else anyway. I have a very pessimistic outlook on my future too. These kinds of experience have varied affects on me ranging from unsociability, and more rarely, to crying to myself.
Usually I'm fairly okay because I'm preoccupied with things or the thoughts just haven't occurred to me. I like to think that I'm just being stupid and there's nothing wrong but TBH I dunno. The fact that I understand what I'm experiencing is telling me it's nothing to worry about. I'm okay now, thank God. Just thought I'd post that. Sorry for going off on a tangent like that.

stupidusername

I don't mean I'm a bad person, I'm fairly sure that i'm not (as much as some people might like to think I am). I mean that my self esteem is that bad. and it's causing issues. The things I pick at, I genuinely feel upset over, I just can't let them go. though I do try.

will pop in tomorrow.

Millicent

Ambient Occlusion wrote: »

My family apparently has a history of depression but I don't really know if it's genetic or not. I don't know if I suffer from depression at all but I'll just say what I experience.
It seems to me that every chance I get to truly review my life or think things over I feel profoundly and deeply sad and miserable. I criticise each and every aspect of life that I have shortcomings in and curse everything else anyway. I have a very pessimistic outlook on my future too. These kinds of experience have varied affects on me ranging from unsociability, and more rarely, to crying to myself.
Usually I'm fairly okay because I'm preoccupied with things or the thoughts just haven't occurred to me. I like to think that I'm just being stupid and there's nothing wrong but TBH I dunno. The fact that I understand what I'm experiencing is telling me it's nothing to worry about. I'm okay now, thank God. Just thought I'd post that. Sorry for going off on a tangent like that.

I think it's probably futile to try to determine for yourself whether it's genetic or not. I know I did obsess on that but it didn't change how I felt. I think I was trying to convince myself that it was only bad if it was the clinical one.

What happens in many cases of depression (or at least in my own) is that you learn to think and react a certain way. Even if that way is damaging, you don't know any better so you keep at it until it gets on top of you. If you've grown up around that, it may be the only way you know how to think or behave.

Only you can say what exactly it is but for the moment, I'd say concentrate more on how to fix it than what to call it.

Ambient Occlusion

Millicent wrote: »

I think it's probably futile to try to determine for yourself whether it's genetic or not. I know I did obsess on that but it didn't change how I felt. I think I was trying to convince myself that it was only bad if it was the clinical one.

What happens in many cases of depression (or at least in my own) is that you learn to think and react a certain way. Even if that way is damaging, you don't know any better so you keep at it until it gets on top of you. If you've grown up around that, it may be the only way you know how to think or behave.

Only you can say what exactly it is but for the moment, I'd say concentrate more on how to fix it than what to call it.

Thanks for the input, you're a sincere person, kudos. Thing is though, I dunno if I even suffer from depression, that's the thing. I don't like to think I do. It seems to me that claiming I do for what seem like such insignificant problems in comparison to others that I've heard of might be insulting to actual sufferers. In any case, when I do experience whatever it is, the events are few and far between, possibly monthly. That doesn't sound like depression to me. They seem to be more common now but that could just be me. It is the deepness of those events frightens me more than anything though.

Millicent

Ambient Occlusion wrote: »

Thanks for the input, you're a sincere person, kudos. Thing is though, I dunno if I even suffer from depression, that's the thing. I don't like to think I do. It seems to me that claiming I do for what seem like such insignificant problems in comparison to others that I've heard of might be insulting to actual sufferers. In any case, when I do experience whatever it is, the events are few and far between, possibly monthly. That doesn't sound like depression to me. They seem to be more common now but that could just be me. It is the deepness of those events frightens me more than anything though.

If it's something that regular and is that deep, I'd wager that maybe it is depression. Have you been to anyone to ask? As I said though, don't get too hung up on a name for it. It doesn't matter what it is and isn't; what matters is it is affecting you.

stupidusername

I'm doing better today.

i've got a book on mindfullness, and all i have to do is tear myself away from boards so i can get started on it. it's meant to be good.

smash

Just catching up on this thread now. Sorry to hear the news

Ambient Occlusion

Millicent wrote: »

If it's something that regular and is that deep, I'd wager that maybe it is depression. Have you been to anyone to ask? As I said though, don't get too hung up on a name for it. It doesn't matter what it is and isn't; what matters is it is affecting you.

I suppose you're right, irrespective of what it is I should see someone about it. I'd be a bit apprehensive doing so because I'd only be met with "cop on there's nothing wrong" type responses from friends and family. Thanks again anyway.

Benny_Cake

Ambient Occlusion wrote: »

I suppose you're right, irrespective of what it is I should see someone about it. I'd be a bit apprehensive doing so because I'd only be met with "cop on there's nothing wrong" type responses from friends and family. Thanks again anyway.

If you're worried about that then you don't have to tell them you are seeing a counsellor. I'm not saying that there aren't people out there stupic enough to react in that way, but there is a lot more awareness of depression and mental health issues these days, even compared to 10 years ago.

I noticed what you said about thinking that your problems are insignificant and that you feel that you would be insulting "actual sufferers" by saying that you have depression - I used to think that way myself. Your problems may be more serious than those of other people, or less serious, but that really doesn't matter because they're your problems and you have to live with them! So as Millicent said, don't get hung up on labelling yourself and talk to someone. Life is short and you don't deserve to keep feeling like this.

The King of Moo

Ambient Occlusion wrote: »

I suppose you're right, irrespective of what it is I should see someone about it. I'd be a bit apprehensive doing so because I'd only be met with "cop on there's nothing wrong" type responses from friends and family. Thanks again anyway.

Just remember that having a label applied to you doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, and it doesn't define you.

I understand where you're coming from about friends and family though.

I've never really told many people about being depressed, and I especially didn't during my worst periods. I had the same worry about getting such replies, especially from my parents who would be very old-fashioned.

I also took a lot of comfort from friends who liked me for who I was, and I worried that if I told them, they wouldn't act naturally around me.

Sometimes I think it can get to the stage where you need to tell others though.
And that can work out quite well. Someone telling you "sure you're grand" and listing reasons to be cheerful can be unhelpful, but if someone can help show you that things aren't quite as bad as they seem, and that you've more self-worth than you realise, and do it in a subtle but positive way, it can be really beneficial.

steddyeddy

stupidusername wrote: »

I'm doing better today.

i've got a book on mindfullness, and all i have to do is tear myself away from boards so i can get started on it. it's meant to be good.

Its not a book by Paul Gilbert by any chance is it?

Ambient Occlusion

Thanks Benny_Cake and The King of Moo, Millicent also. All of you've been extremely considerate and helpful. I would say it doesn't do significant regular damage to my life and therefore isn't an immediate danger. I'll probably go for counselling in a year or so when I go to college. I hope to be in Dublin by then which means I'll have the freedom to do such things privately. It'd be an uncomfortable experience for someone as timid as myself, but I'll take your collective advice and deal with it effectively and properly. Thanks.

The King of Moo

Ambient Occlusion wrote: »

Thanks Benny_Cake and The King of Moo, Millicent also. All of you've been extremely considerate and helpful. I would say it doesn't do significant regular damage to my life and therefore isn't an immediate danger. I'll probably go for counselling in a year or so when I go to college. I hope to be in Dublin by then which means I'll have the freedom to do such things privately. It'd be an uncomfortable experience for someone as timid as myself, but I'll take your collective advice and deal with it effectively and properly. Thanks.

Best of luck, and remember that at the very least you'll always be able to talk to people on this thread.

stupidusername

steddyeddy wrote: »

Its not a book by Paul Gilbert by any chance is it?

nope, Mark Williams.

Drumpot

stupidusername wrote: »

I'm doing better today.

i've got a book on mindfullness, and all i have to do is tear myself away from boards so i can get started on it. it's meant to be good.

Let us know how it reads please !

In terms of people not considering your feelings to be warranted (feeling down for no reason) or indeed telling others about how you feel, I understand where you are coming for. I wasnt sure for a long time if I suffered from depression or not, for me I actually wanted to be diagnosed as having it (because it would qualify and justify my bad moods and just feeling down!).

Even now, I still get the whole "why do I feel like this when I am so lucky" feeling often. I havent got a penny to my name but in everything else my life is as fulfilled as I have dreamt since I was young. Have a wife, children, pets and a house (albeit with a mortgage). That is all I have ever wanted (seriously!) and yet I find myself feeling down regularly (nearly more then I used to) for no clear reason.

I like to think that its my body/brains way of dealing with my increasing understanding of my moods. Like when you break a leg or injure yourself and sometimes the pain is worse days after the incident. I hope my body is simply going through the emotional healing process (like mourning the loss of somebody).

In terms of worrying about what others think, I am having to learn to value myself and to say "you know what, its ok to feel down". Yes, there are people much worse off then me, but why should that make me feel worse or make my feelings less relevant ? Feeling depressed is a state of mind and no matter how rich or poor you are the feeling is the same.

I have told my friends and family how I feel, but there are times when I feel like a broken record. My wife is very understanding and likes me to tell her when I feel down or "off" but the problem is that I am saying it so regularly it sometimes make her feel like her own feelings are irrelevant (because mine are more accute).

Some of my friends dont understand ,one of them said, you have to just force yourself to feel better, but accepted that he couldnt understand the idea of depression. I find that its not so much getting easier, but that I am understanding it more and awknowledging that there will be days when I just cant function and most importantly I am allowing myself to feel down (instead of beating myself up for being a useful, lazy piece of sh*t).

Good luck with your quest to be more enlightened about how you feel. This is a superb thread with wonderful people and advice , only too happy to support people who struggle to feel "normal" or even just ok. Please dont worry about how others react to how you feel because feeling better is more important then others understanding why you feel down. .

nesf

stupidusername wrote: »

nope, Mark Williams.

Which one? I've two by him I think.

Faolchu

Depression has always been prevalent in my family, specifically on my mother’s side. My mom has been treated for it for as long as I remember. My brother suffers from it to the point that he often locks himself away from the world. He has often contemplated suicide and at one point by his own admission sat locked in his bath room with scalding hot water in the sing and a razor blade in his hand. The thing that drew him back was the sound of his son’s voice. My aunts have also suffered from it, in fact the only relatives on my mother’s side that I don’t recall anything being mention was the men.



But what my friends and family don’t know is I too suffer from it. I have abused alcohol, abused it to the point that my doctor said I had done irreparable damage to my liver. I was 21 with the liver of someone that is older than I am now (40). I have abused over the counter pain medication. I don’t mean taking them because I was in pain, but taking them like candy, taking more than three times the recommended daily dosage just to stay numb, often washing them down with whiskey.

The pain killers reached a point that I would get withdrawal if I didn’t take them. So I took more, it got to a point that I was purchasing 24 a day and the max dosage was 8. Even while I was working I would carry them in my pocket on the shop floor and just before busy periods I’d pop two to get me through it. I eventually came off them. I woke from a rather vivid dream. My dead uncle came to me and told me I was killing myself. John died in my mother’s house. He knew what he was talking about he was an alcoholic, like his father before him. This was before I had reached my 21st birthday.

That’s just the pain killers. Then came the alcohol. Everyone always says never trust an Irish man that doesn’t drink. I started drinking at 16/17. The types of places I went to were not the types of place you’d get completely blind drunk coz invariably a fight would break out that would end up with more than fist flying. Then I moved to Germany where none of those factors were a problem in a small town, I went off the rails. Id recently lost the one woman I ever truly loved but always put the blame on myself for that, some may say that I was not to blame but in my mind I was, why? I never told her how I felt and she married someone else. just to say we were never actually in a relationship, she lived abroad and we'd met the year before when she was on vacation in Ireland and kept writing to each other, ove rteh followng 6-8 months i'd fallen deeply in love with her and as it tuens out she with me. neither of us had teh guts to tell the other. I berated myself for never telling her how I felt about her. I drank more and more to forget her, what no one knows is I also started back on the pain killers. I was putting away enough alcohol to down a small elephant. 1-2 liters of mixed spirits a day plus about 10 pints.I would spend all my free time at the bar drinking more and more.


A few things stick out most in my mind over that period and the 4 or 5 years after it. a total feeling of being bullet proof. nothing and no one could hurt me any more. The Total disregard for this I interacted with. I used people for what I could get from them, good shifts in work, more access to alcohol by associating with people that knew the bar man so we could get “locked in”, and of course sexual gratification with countless one night stands. those longer relationships were ruined by my deprssive thoughts and not being able to let go of the past. one relation ship lasted 4 years and one morning i wok up and just told her it was over because i wanted to persue an ex and try sort stuff out. i was constantly living in the past.


Another is the fact that I almost lost the use of my hand over a stupid arguement with my brother and my then girlfriend. a complete stranger saw me enter a mens room pouring blood. i had put my fust through reinforced glass and it turns out severed the tendons/ligiments in my hand. she walked straight into teh mens room, found me collapsed in a pool of blood and ic cols water where i had tried to clean myself up. she sat on the floor with me and get me an ambulance, then she stayed with me in the hospital and took me home with her after i was discharged to ensure i rested and got food into me an dmade it back to the hpspital the next day. she did this at great risk to herself, she was servicng in the military and lived on base. it was against regulations to bring a guest back without prior notification to the security office etc.





finally a simple argument that escalated to me nearly kicking a standing woman in the head as she was holding her infant in her hand.




This chaotic behaviour continued for years. It came to a head a few years ago while I was with one particular person. She had problems with alcohol. I truly believe we enabled each other. It was one night it got to the point that she could not walk and I ended up in a fight (nothing new there) with 3 individuals protecting her “honour”. I realised I was on a very bad road and started to reduce what I drank and we both split up soon afterward for other reaons.

Over the years I have self harmed, taking blades to myself sme of teh scars are still visible. I have stood on cliffs and closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like to just float off, I even felt myself tilt forward. I stood at the open door of an airplane in Texas in 2001. It was my first skydive I was not attached to any safety line and not attached to a tandem master. I stood at the door 14000 feet above the air and imagined what it would be like to just fly. The same happened when I jumped back in Ireland each time I used a static line I contemplated cutting away and not opening my reserve.

Today I refuse to take painkillers unless the pain is unbearable and even then i have to be almost vomiting from the pain, I was in three car crashes and flushed the pills given by my doctor down the toilet. I had an operation on my knee and while in hospital I refused the pain killers, the nurse insisted so I took it then spat it back out when she was gone. I no longer drink, by that I mean I drink occasionally christmas, newyears etc. new years past i has 2 beers. At the darkest moments I still feel the call of alcohol, I can almost taste it and at times my body starts to shake. I’ve sat with an open bottle in my hand in a dark room on many occasions.



Since I stopped drinking in early 2001 I’ve gone off the rails once. In a strange dangerous city alone in another country. I guess the “luck of the Irish” prevailed because my companion was mugged and robbed of over €700.

Why am I telling you this? I’ve always dealt with my depression in my own way. I’ve pushed it deep inside me, it doesn’t work it eats at you. I’ve tried blocking it with alcohol. even 20 years after loosing that special someone i find out that i'd actually lost her long before that and it devistated me, i felt like i was dying inside. she was actually married 2 months before she told me "she'd met someone else". now to clarify we wewre friend living in seperate countries so it wasnt like she was running aorund behind my back or anything. we were never "in a relationship" It doesn’t work. I never had anyone to talk to, I never went to a specialist. If you feel depressed please talk to someone anyone

Drumpot

stupidusername wrote: »

I don't mean I'm a bad person, I'm fairly sure that i'm not (as much as some people might like to think I am). I mean that my self esteem is that bad. and it's causing issues. The things I pick at, I genuinely feel upset over, I just can't let them go. though I do try.

will pop in tomorrow.

I can empathise with this completely. .

When I was younger I used to have an extremely poor opinion of myself and I was absolutley dead inside (didnt care about anything and considered myself just a burden on friends and family). Everybody who know me socially thought I was the happiest person in the world, surrounded by great friends and family when in fact I was never more upset/alone. I drank ridiculous amounts of alcohal, many a time waking up in peoples doorways or ending up in a garda station a couple of times.

I had to a large degree learned to live with shutting down my emotion chip to the "dont ever get optimistic" mode, where I felt if you were prepared and expected the worst of everything, you would never be dissapointed! This was and is still a self esteem issue as I still dont value myself as highly as my friends and family do (but I am much the wiser 15 years on from my first councelling session!). When I am out with friends I am very conscious of how I feel I am performing (socially) and if I am feeling down and dont meet the high standards I have set , I get down,upset and just want to go home.

This , I now understand, is because I do not value myself as much as I probably should. I put huge demands on myself and set really high targets that if I dont reach (personally, professionally and socially), I beat myself up over (self destructive) and make myself fell worse.

What is funny is that people think of me as a very laid back person in general and this is the case in most things, but I seldom give myself a mental break and as such I am jaded very regularly.

howsyourtusk

Could be myself writing that post. How do you give yourself a mental break? I just don't know how

@howsyourtusk

So, despite my many attempts to try and raise awareness of mental issues (see my sig - I really hope the links provided are actually used by people), I find it hard to discuss my own. It's just the way it is, I guess. You get so good at giving advice to others that you legitimately have no idea how to advise yourself.

With my problems, I think I deal with more the anxiety side of it than anything else. Where I have a lot of negative thoughts constantly eating away at me. Thankfully I've made efforts to try and overcome these. Such as my social anxiety. I am a pretty headstrong person though and believe in tackling things at the source. This may not work for others, so I cannot advise that it should be done.

That being said, it still creeps up and grabs me. Part of me has somewhat accepted that it will likely be a part of my life forever, so instead of ignoring it, I've accepted it. I'm working on getting better, trying to get myself out more and it is helping. I also have some of the greatest friends a guy could wish for, that are willing to stand by me even through the worse times. These are proper friends and ones I know will be there forever.

But I'm just blabbing now - the one thing I would urge people to do is to talk to someone. It doesn't matter how, even if it's posting anonymously on Personal Issues. At least then you're sharing your problems, rather than bottling them up.

@howsyourtusk -

would you look into the possibility of doing yoga and meditation? Or even approaching a GP. I finally cracked one day and went straight in and she realized how much I was struggling with these anxieties and these issues and she prescribed me some medication. 10MG Lexapro - a relatively mild dosage. They genuinely helped; it was used solely as a crutch and it was up to me to try and resolve the other issues.

While medication is an option, it should never ever be the only one.

stupidusername

nesf wrote: »

Which one? I've two by him I think.

The Mindful Way through Depression.

howsyourtusk

Deleted User wrote: »

@howsyourtusk -

would you look into the possibility of doing yoga and meditation?

Have tried yoga but while I found it ok at the time I'm kind of looking at more when I'm having a meltdown in a certain situation that I have some sort of coping mechanism. But I haven't tried CBT so that's probably what I need to do after I'm finished my current run of counselling.

Well, there are quite a number of breathing techniques you could look into, which might help with those situations - the yoga deep breath being one of them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cANsRw5A4b4

LeeHoffmann

I get down every Winter and have done since I was 14/15. There were 2-3 Winters where I stayed ´normal´. I´ve never tried or planned to kill myself, but...to try to explain it, I´ve had times where I´ve crossed the road and couldn´t find the energy in me to care enough to look up and see if a car was coming or not and the thought went through my mind that I didn´t care if a car hit me or not. Whatever that is...it´s not right. I feel grand atm but I know it´s because we´ve had such a lovely Winter/Spring this year - nice and bright, even warm, hardly any grey weeks. It´s the greyness that kills me - grey skies that make everything else look grey and you just feel your mind shutting down like it´s time for sleep, you walk around only half-there in some way, like a big part of your brain has switched off and you´re almost on auto pilot.

I guess I´m lucky in that I´m prepared for it. I love Autumn but around the middle of October - the start of November, I feel it coming and I start to dread it. I can´t hold onto summer. But at least I know what´s happening when my thoughts start turning dark. I resist the urge to turn to sugar and roast potatoes. I try to make life more comfortable for myself with hot water bottles, snuggly blankets, buying new scarves and hats. I turn all the lights on in a room - the relief light brings me is - just impossible to put into words. I feel every bit of me sort of sigh just from putting the lights on. It´s like the sadness is just lifted off me a little. The relief is phenomenal. I guess I know that it will pass if I hang on. What really makes it clear to me is when I go to bright and sunny places, I really feel alive (I guess I feel not fully alive or awake or something most of the time). I don´t drag my body - it´s like it bounces. I´m awake and energetic and happy. Life is so easy!!

I know most people think SAD is imaginary. Maybe it is. All I know is it describes what happens to me very well. I never went to a GP about it - what´s the point?.

What I´ve got is not as serious as what many of you have. For one, at least I get a break. But I know some people who are close to me who suffered with it - my mother killed herself, another close family member once had it all planned but told me about it and got the help he needed, and a close friend has suffered with it for years and will have to fight it for the rest of her life.

I don´t want to think on it all too much because it might get me thinking negatively, but well done to all of you for having the courage to discuss it in the open. Good luck

Drumpot

howsyourtusk wrote: »

Could be myself writing that post. How do you give yourself a mental break? I just don't know how

I imagine many people have their own way of doing it . . It has taken me a long time to learn it, but if you keep at it, accept that its not easy and that there will be many times when you just cant switch off (and run with it), you will hopefully find some peace (whether it be 2 mins or 2 hours). I try to think of my feelings as a bodypart and if I feel down , its an injured body part. The last thing you would do with a broken leg is put more stress or pressure on it, so I try to put it into context with my mind.

My mind tends to race an awful lot (could be in the shower or going to sleep). So what I do is allow myself time aside to think about meaningless things that dont upset or wind me up.

I have 2 rabbits and 2 dogs that are great company. I goto the gym and listen to my ipod (no current affairs - music or comedy podcasts) and sometimes I spend more time with my children (I work from home so have loads of time with them). My first pet rabbit (I am a 34 year old man/wussy!!) died 2 years ago and I got very close to him. I spoke to the rabbit on many a drunken night occasion when I felt I could speak about how I felt. He helped when I felt that I couldnt speak to friends or family. He didnt offer me advice or judge me, he just sat there eating and looking for a scratch, but it worked for me.

It was a great way of venting my feelings without feeling guilty, helpless or weak. I looked after this rabbit (spent a fortune on him) because he was very ill during his lifetime. Eventually when we were advised by the vet, I put him down when he was no longer able to enjoy life. I dont mind writing this and know that my friends think its hilarious, but for me that rabbit was the best "mental break" that I could ever have. I looked after that rabbit and for that it made me feel better about myself, gave me self confidence in that I could be a good person, capable of taking care of my own. He was a stepping stone for me to learn to have a higher opinion of myself and indeed value my own feelings so much so that I now regularly discuss how I feel with my wife.

The key is to not just physically do it, but mentally switch off (took me a long time to learn this). I used to be with my kids or pets and be still thinking about what upsets me (financial woes or just feeling down). What I started doing was saying in my head "I deserve this time for myself, this is my time to enjoy, I can worry later". Its a small thing, but eventually it started to sink in and while I still have moments when I just cant switch off, I can switch off a hell of alot more then I used to. Its the same as when you beat yourself up "I am a useless, lazy piece of sh*t", eventually you believe what you are saying! I have switched it around and now I am convinced that I can be a better person and help those around me by affording myself simple pleasures.

Now when I say I put time aside for these things, I dont do it in a structural way for the main reason that at 8pm tonight I might not feel relaxed enough to enjoy the time. I try to go with the flow more, whereas previously if I had planned to do something (watch a match, goto gym etc) I wouldnt want to deviate from my plans (not out of selfishness, just out of liking structure to my day in an OCD way!), now if I want to stop and play with my children, goto the gym or spend time with my pets, I say "Go on Oran, you deserve it because if you feel better your family will benefit". (Basically alot of self positive pat on the backs).

There are also occasions when being around my children makes me feel a bit worse because they are a reminder at how lucky I am to have children and how its my responsibility to be a good father/parent/friend to them growing up. Its sad but true, sometimes I feel like a failure when I cant pull myself together when I am down for no specific reason!

I have discussed my "mental break" theory with my wife on many occasions. She used to say to me that it might be days when I hadnt really spoken to her, going around the house like a zombie. Playing playstation or watching something on TV without saying anything and I wouldnt really be conscious of it. I was saying to her that it was like a computer that overheated and needed to shut down for awhile. I of course apologised and I have been trying to replace my Playstation/TV switch off moments with time with family/friends/pets.

I have become a bit of a hermit and seldom go out, but I am trying to get involved in social things that might interest me (archary, cinema, go karting, playing soccer) that I can do with friends that doesnt involve having a drink. I get nervous when I am out drinking and as such its not a relaxing event for me. I am at the stage where I hate to commit to any social event for fear of how I will feel (depressed/anxious).

Mental breaks for me are a godsend. One of my favourate is when I get into the steamroom after a workout in the gym. For the 10 or so minutes in the steamroom, I inhale and exhale as much as possible trying to think about all the good things in my life. Sometimes I can get focused on work, but in a good way, where I get focused on what needs to be done, either way I feel better. Its one of the few things I am able to get excited about these days ( I learned to not look forward to anything so I wouldnt be dissapointed, now I am trying to undo this).

For me, learning to "go easy" on myself has helped considerably. I value myself more as a person, I awknoledge that I feel sorry for myself sometimes, but that its ok to do so. I try to rationalise everything (which isnt always helpful), but in a manner that I feel will help me at least deal with my mood swings.

I havent done or tried Yoga or any of those kinds of things because to be honest I am very complacent when it comes to trying out new things (Its so stupid, but I like to figure out things myself, cant explain why I dont try out everything!). Another thing I do is I try to compare myself now with how I was when I was younger and worse, as opposed to trying to compare myself with how I wish I was. This again, reinforces a little self confidence and belief in myself that I am making great strides at healing my mental wounds.

I cant say how you might be able to try this out, but the next time (tonight, tomorrow, next week) you are doing something healthy/innocent that you know you enjoy (whether you feel you have the right to be happy or not), try and say to yourself that you are going to give yourself a break this time. You are going to commit your time to this hobby for yourself and that you make no apologies to the imaginary voice in your head thats constantly trying to make you feel bad about yourself. I have pockets of these moments througout the week and I really look forward to my gym, soccer and cinema more then I ever did because I know I deserve this time to myself. (As I write this, just spent 30 secs enjoying my dogs going nuts in the back garden, sh*tting all over my nicely cut grass, seriously its the simple things that make all the differance!!!).

Hope this in someway explains my "mental break" hobby . .

amulet

howsyourtusk wrote: »

Could be myself writing that post. How do you give yourself a mental break? I just don't know how

howya.
just reading some of the things here and alot of it resonates with me. each to their own and i really dont think there's a quick fix for anyone to be honest. but i will lend my tuppence worth here because that what here is for, right? the meditaition/yoga/relaxation stuff is without a doubt a great place to start. sometimes within that silence/quiet time the things we have been trying to escape or bury rear their ugly heads and my own experience of that is truly frightening........however, nothing easy is truly worthwhile and as the budda said, all life is suffering! but while suffering is part of life i'm not sure that misery has to be.
the cbt and talk therapies are good and are really effective but in my experience real experiential work with the body has to be done also but in it's own time.
having a look at holotropic breathwork and process work are real good places to start and maybe not for everyone but ya wont know till ya try.

good luck with everything.

mitsy1

Hi to you all and fair play to everyone who has posted personal stories. I think its great that people are able to vent whether its in person or not. We all have personal supports but them supports can also be stressors at times.

Remember there are so many enviromental supports available to everyone and we are just to vein to utilise them at times. If you had a heart condition you wouldnt keep it to yourself and you also wouldnt mind taking medication for it thats for sure!!!! Mental Health is as important if not more important than physical health.

I think everyone needs to refresh our coping strategies and a lot of the time its about breaking unhealthy habits.

Best of luck to you all

Corkfeen

I reached the conclusion the other day that i'm going to have to get counselling or something. Basically i've become introverted and depressed over the course of the past 3 years. I haven't been in contact with any of my friends with some of the reasoning being that I feel like I have changed so much. Its disturbing how much it feels as if I've actually lost the person that I used to be and it seems to be irretrievable. I've always been fairly atrocious at dealing with people in a social setting throughout my life but now I couldn't really be arsed making the effort. Intend on going to counselling next month because I really don't want to waste away the years as I have been doing so.

candycock

just reading all the posts here tonite made me understand abit about myself and depression,i myself have that empty feeling of not caring about wat happens in my life,its almost like an empty feeling,im a male mid twenties,play alot of sport and try to 'snap out of it',but it does'nt work,i've become an expert of hiding my depression,if u knew me u would'nt tink for a second i was depressed.tomorrow im going to talk to a councillor because i could'nt dare talk to anyone in my family,i find myself drinking alot to fill the emty void and i'd spend days hiding away(being unemployed does'nt help),so i hope tomoro is the beginning of taking my life back from depression.thanks for reading,nite posters.