LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

DeVore

DeVore wrote: »

Get Up, Get Out, Get On!

I'm stealing this for my sig

Just what I needed to read today as I'm feeling pretty low!

Cheers.

And it probably is some of the best advice you could give someone too. There's little or no point wallowing around and letting it control you. You should control it.

jammstarr

Deleted User wrote: »

And it probably is some of the best advice you could give someone too. There's little or no point wallowing around and letting it control you. You should control it.

That's the way it should be but it can be a struggle.

Paddy Cow

Deleted User wrote: »

And it probably is some of the best advice you could give someone too. There's little or no point wallowing around and letting it control you. You should control it.

That's exactly how I feel when I'm up (or normal). Unfortunately when I'm down it's not so easy to hold onto that thought.

starviewadams

Deleted User wrote: »

And it probably is some of the best advice you could give someone too. There's little or no point wallowing around and letting it control you. You should control it.

Much,much easier said then done unfortunately.

DeVore

If you read back I said that it has to be *before* the spiral starts. When I feel it coming on or starting to self-reinforce thats my mantra.

Once you are wallowing in a depression, its an awful lot harder to execute. It will still work but its much harder to do. Sometimes you need a friend to help.

stupidusername

i've something to say to my housemate, confrontation is a massive source of anxiety for me. i keep coming up with excuses not to do it. been all evening at it. and it's really dragging me down

DeVore

Maybe start by saying that to them... (YMMV...I dunno, I'm an idiot )

stupidusername

DeVore wrote: »

Maybe start by saying that to them... (YMMV...I dunno, I'm an idiot )

saying what to him?

what does YMMV mean?

DeVore

"Your Mileage May Vary"


Say , "look I don't want confrontation , it really bothers me and I'm not feeling great as it is, but there's something we've got to talk about."

But like I said, I'm no diplomat!

stupidusername

DeVore wrote: »

"Your Mileage May Vary"


Say , "look I don't want confrontation , it really bothers me and I'm not feeling great as it is, but there's something we've got to talk about."

But like I said, I'm no diplomat!

I approached it by asking did he have any issues with my boyfriend being over, ya know, seeing how he thinks things are going, but he said no, he has no problem.

by the time i got to that I was a sweaty nervous mess. and if that's not his problem, then I don't know what is. and I can't say it, because i'll sound like a bitch. ffs

Millicent

stupidusername wrote: »

I approached it by asking did he have any issues with my boyfriend being over, ya know, seeing how he thinks things are going, but he said no, he has no problem.

by the time i got to that I was a sweaty nervous mess. and if that's not his problem, then I don't know what is. and I can't say it, because i'll sound like a bitch. ffs

You don't have to be confrontational about it all all. Think of it as just having a conversation--it'll take some of the fear out. So maybe just say to him, "Is there something the matter? I feel like maybe I've done something to upset you?/ I feel like maybe you're annoyed at/irritated with me."

Keep approaching it from the "I" as this makes it less likely to be perceived as an attack. "Have I annoyed you?" is far less aggressive than "What are you annoyed about?"

stupidusername

sorry, i've pulled this off topic. i'm making it my own little agony aunt page! :pac:

thanks milli, but it's about cleaning, so I dunno would the 'have I done something' approach work.

Millicent

stupidusername wrote: »

sorry, i've pulled this off topic. i'm making it my own little agony aunt page! :pac:

thanks milli, but it's about cleaning, so I dunno would the 'have I done something' approach work.

His lack of cleaning or yours?!

stupidusername

Millicent wrote: »

His lack of cleaning or yours?!

his. we agreed just after he moved in that we'd alternate every two weeks, do the common areas. he's never done a great job, but it's been grand. he didn't do it when it was his turn last, so a week later I just did it. that was 4 weeks ago.

Millicent

stupidusername wrote: »

his. we agreed just after he moved in that we'd alternate every two weeks, do the common areas. he's never done a great job, but it's been grand. he didn't do it when it was his turn last, so a week later I just did it. that was 4 weeks ago.

Ah, feck. Don't let him take advantage or you'll have to keep doing it and he will happily ignore you doing it (I speak from bitter experience). Try just a friendly, "Hey, would you mind giving the sitting room a Hoover later/bathroom a wipe down as I have a friend coming over/did it last week/would rather not die of some stanky disease?" (Probably best to leave out the last one).

It's awkward but the only other scenario is that you let him away with it and then you end up lumbered with him, building in resentment and allowing your confidence to be knocked for letting someone take you for granted. You'll feel worse if you don't say something to him.

OtherAccount

Posting from this account, just because I would be wary that people might know me. I suffer exceedingly bad from anxiety, generally related towards myself. This comes from growing up with a slight learning disability (dyspraxia) and a father with a terrible patience and temper, who would derive pleasure seemingly from inflicting pain (I remember recently we were out for a family gathering and these women who were not with us sat in our places - my father had crossed by them and purposefully stepped on their feet as hard as he could in retaliation - he's 51) - thankfully he never really inflicted physical pain on me, more mental, but it still can affect me to this day.

This anxiety makes things like dating really difficult, which is hard enough as it is. I had previously been on medication but came off of them when my 6 month recommended period because I was finding them too expensive to get monthly, as I am currently unemployed.

stupidusername

Millicent wrote: »

Ah, feck. Don't let him take advantage or you'll have to keep doing it and he will happily ignore you doing it (I speak from bitter experience). Try just a friendly, "Hey, would you mind giving the sitting room a Hoover later/bathroom a wipe down as I have a friend coming over/did it last week/would rather not die of some stanky disease?" (Probably best to leave out the last one).

It's awkward but the only other scenario is that you let him away with it and then you end up lumbered with him, building in resentment and allowing your confidence to be knocked for letting someone take you for granted. You'll feel worse if you don't say something to him.

i'll probably say something like the bathroom could really do with being cleaned, would you mind doing it, as I did it last.

i don't think he's taking me for granted, it's just that he's thinking 'i'm not dong it'. or maybe he's tired from work or something, i could say something to do with that. oh i dunno. so tired of thinking about it.

Millicent

stupidusername wrote: »

i'll probably say something like the bathroom could really do with being cleaned, would you mind doing it, as I did it last.

i don't think he's taking me for granted, it's just that he's thinking 'i'm not dong it'. or maybe he's tired from work or something, i could say something to do with that. oh i dunno. so tired of thinking about it.

Stop thinking about it! I know, I know--easier said than done--but how my anxiety got better for stuff like this was I learned to get uber-practical about things. Basically what I would do is look at it very logically, even clinically. So problem: housemate is not pulling his weight. Effect: I am getting upset, feeling like my time is not being valued and I am picking up the slack.

Possible solution: Say nothing. Benefits: Easier than a confrontation in the short term. Negatives: Will feel worse about myself. Will retain anger at housemate even though he may not realise he's upsetting me. Will have to clean everything again myself.

Alternative: Say something. Benefits: Will clear the air. Will help my confidence. Will stop me worrying. Negatives: Housemate may be irritated. Confrontation may be uncomfortable in short term.

What I do then is look at both outcomes and see which is more likely to improve my life, happiness and confidence. I find it really helpful. Hope you might too.x

stupidusername

thanks milli, that actually does help. well, I say that now. hopefully it stays my opinion...

Millicent

OtherAccount wrote: »

Posting from this account, just because I would be wary that people might know me. I suffer exceedingly bad from anxiety, generally related towards myself. This comes from growing up with a slight learning disability (dyspraxia) and a father with a terrible patience and temper, who would derive pleasure seemingly from inflicting pain (I remember recently we were out for a family gathering and these women who were not with us sat in our places - my father had crossed by them and purposefully stepped on their feet as hard as he could in retaliation - he's 51) - thankfully he never really inflicted physical pain on me, more mental, but it still can affect me to this day.

This anxiety makes things like dating really difficult, which is hard enough as it is. I had previously been on medication but came off of them when my 6 month recommended period because I was finding them too expensive to get monthly, as I am currently unemployed.

Sorry to hear that. It may seem trite but unemployment was a huge positive for me even though I didn't think so then. It gave me the time to finally get myself sorted mentally through counselling and other things.

On the tablets issue, have you asked the pharmacist for a generic alternative? The non-"name brand" tablets have all of the same ingredients in the same doses for often a fraction of the cost. If not, are you entitled to a medical card? Or to the Drugs Payment Scheme?

Millicent

stupidusername wrote: »

thanks milli, that actually does help. well, I say that now. hopefully it stays my opinion...

You're welcome.

You have to keep at it though; practice is essential. It won't feel comfortable or natural at first but that's because with things like low self-esteem or anxiety, you tend to feel like you're not in control of your life or that you're not important enough to demand better for yourself when you really are. Repeating it often enough makes it habit and believe me, it's a great habit to form. It helped me more than I can describe.

pushki

I have had depression since i was 17 , ten years ago i tried everything to shut it but it is like a parasite,, takes all the good from you. I have too many suicide attempts than i would like to count. As well as a severe eating disorder I've had for 12 years. Been on so many meds some helped, some didn't adding to all that mess I'd abused alcohol and prescription drugs too.
I finally came on the mend last year a combination of things, work was going well, i was happy with my boyfriend and i actually had a social life$:-) was still on my anti ddepressants when i found out ir was pregnant so on the docs advice i stopped taking all my meds and a week or so later i really hit a black ho
never felt so hopeless and lost so have been put on my meds again and i do feel better, insomnia and anxietty are still lurking.
Depression its a terrible thing it can be beaten *hugs and cuddles*7

Xios

Reading this made me feel better, thanks Dev.

neemish

Just finishing up my first full week back at work after three months off (eight weeks of which were spent in hospital). Can't believe how exhausted I feel, but delighted that its Friday and I can crash for the weekend. It seems to take so much energy to do the "ordinary" things and just get through the day. And I know that my colleagues just don't understand it. Which makes it even harder. I fell like I'm pretending all the time to be slightly better than I actually feel

SerialComplaint

neemish wrote: »

Just finishing up my first full week back at work after three months off (eight weeks of which were spent in hospital). Can't believe how exhausted I feel, but delighted that its Friday and I can crash for the weekend. It seems to take so much energy to do the "ordinary" things and just get through the day. And I know that my colleagues just don't understand it. Which makes it even harder. I fell like I'm pretending all the time to be slightly better than I actually feel

Many congrats. The first week is the hardest. It'll get easier.

pushki

Well done neemish it must have been pretty daunting going back to work after 3 months out but the first week is does now which is through hardest bit. Its tough trying to act like everything is ok when its not but at least here you can express how you really feel! Hope you enjoy your weekend :-)

grenache

Does anyone else feel comfortable in their depression? Strange question i know, but that's exactly how i feel. As if i've known little else all my life and this feeling is the only thing i'm familiar with. Afraid to emerge from that safety barrier of pain.

Ironic i know.

DeVore

Xios wrote: »

Reading this made me feel better, thanks Dev.

Reading that made me feel better, so we're quits.

Good luck to all of us... Everyone deserves peace, happiness and contentment.

jammstarr

grenache wrote: »

Does anyone else feel comfortable in their depression? Strange question i know, but that's exactly how i feel. As if i've known little else all my life and this feeling is the only thing i'm familiar with. Afraid to emerge from that safety barrier of pain.

Ironic i know.

Yeah I do. Like it's easier to just exist with it at times rather than face up to it.