LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Millicent

Corkfeen wrote: »

I reached the conclusion the other day that i'm going to have to get counselling or something. Basically i've become introverted and depressed over the course of the past 3 years. I haven't been in contact with any of my friends with some of the reasoning being that I feel like I have changed so much. Its disturbing how much it feels as if I've actually lost the person that I used to be and it seems to be irretrievable. I've always been fairly atrocious at dealing with people in a social setting throughout my life but now I couldn't really be arsed making the effort. Intend on going to counselling next month because I really don't want to waste away the years as I have been doing so.

It's not irretrievable--I promise. Good luck with the counselling and well done on taking that step and for coming to the realisation that life is worth living and just surviving through.

Millicent

Good luck, candycock too.

jaffacakesyum

candycock wrote: »

just reading all the posts here tonite made me understand abit about myself and depression,i myself have that empty feeling of not caring about wat happens in my life,its almost like an empty feeling,im a male mid twenties,play alot of sport and try to 'snap out of it',but it does'nt work,i've become an expert of hiding my depression,if u knew me u would'nt tink for a second i was depressed.tomorrow im going to talk to a councillor because i could'nt dare talk to anyone in my family,i find myself drinking alot to fill the emty void and i'd spend days hiding away(being unemployed does'nt help),so i hope tomoro is the beginning of taking my life back from depression.thanks for reading,nite posters.

Good luck!

The more I read of peoples experiences, the more I relate. I would be the last person people would think is depressed. I'm friendly and sociable and everyone thinks I'm so happy. That's why I don't feel I 'deserve' to be depressed - I don't have much reason to be depressed yet I am. I feel like nobody would believe me if I told anyone. Yet if I had a CCTV camera on me 24/7 people would be shocked to see me crying every night, drinking alone frequently etc.

Reading posts like yours make me realise that you don't have to be moping around the place 24/7 to be suffering from depression. Sure, sometimes its hard to hide the sadness and loneliness, but for me it's pretty easy to hide a lot of the time when I'm in public. But it doesn't mean I'm hurting any less than other sufferers of depression.

The King of Moo

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

I get down every Winter and have done since I was 14/15. There were 2-3 Winters where I stayed ´normal´. I´ve never tried or planned to kill myself, but...to try to explain it, I´ve had times where I´ve crossed the road and couldn´t find the energy in me to care enough to look up and see if a car was coming or not and the thought went through my mind that I didn´t care if a car hit me or not. Whatever that is...it´s not right. I feel grand atm but I know it´s because we´ve had such a lovely Winter/Spring this year - nice and bright, even warm, hardly any grey weeks. It´s the greyness that kills me - grey skies that make everything else look grey and you just feel your mind shutting down like it´s time for sleep, you walk around only half-there in some way, like a big part of your brain has switched off and you´re almost on auto pilot.

What I´ve got is not as serious as what many of you have. For one, at least I get a break. But I know some people who are close to me who suffered with it - my mother killed herself, another close family member once had it all planned but told me about it and got the help he needed, and a close friend has suffered with it for years and will have to fight it for the rest of her life.

I don´t want to think on it all too much because it might get me thinking negatively, but well done to all of you for having the courage to discuss it in the open. Good luck

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Good luck!

The more I read of peoples experiences, the more I relate. I would be the last person people would think is depressed. I'm friendly and sociable and everyone thinks I'm so happy. That's why I don't feel I 'deserve' to be depressed - I don't have much reason to be depressed yet I am. I feel like nobody would believe me if I told anyone.But it doesn't mean I'm hurting any less than other sufferers of depression.

I often get the feeling that my experiences aren't as serious or bad as others, especially when I read some of the stories in this thread and I feel I've been very lucky. Sometimes I do look at my life and think I shouldn't really complain too much, even though I've known for a long time that anyone can be depressed in any situation.
But at the end of the day, if you're depressed, then you're suffering, and even if someone's going through a worse time, it doesn't mean your own experience isn't important (and SAD shouldn't be taken too lightly, especially in Ireland!)
Even though I feel at the moment I'm not doing too badly and coping well, I know that things might not always be like that.
After coming out of a long depression in the past, I got overconfident and thought that I was done with it. When it did hit me again it was much worse because of that, and I ended up getting caught up in a long, downward spiral, where I felt much lower than I ever had before and I was barely functional for a long, long time. It was a real struggle to get out of that and I came very close to packing it all in.
Even if you feel your depression isn't as bad as others', it's always healthy to acknowledge it and not feel like it's not worthy of being taken seriously or talked about.

guitarzero

Thought I'd throw this up, every little helps.

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes?page=9

Adamantium

Easily the best thread on boards, a great resource,

A quick question.

Can unknown depression (not aware of) manifeat itself in the form of physical pain, as opposed to sadness/grief

I understand chronic pain can lead to depression, but does it work vice versa?

DeVore

Corkfeen wrote: »

I reached the conclusion the other day that i'm going to have to get counselling or something. Basically i've become introverted and depressed over the course of the past 3 years. I haven't been in contact with any of my friends with some of the reasoning being that I feel like I have changed so much. Its disturbing how much it feels as if I've actually lost the person that I used to be and it seems to be irretrievable. I've always been fairly atrocious at dealing with people in a social setting throughout my life but now I couldn't really be arsed making the effort. Intend on going to counselling next month because I really don't want to waste away the years as I have been doing so.

Join me, I've just started counselling.

I hate hate hate the idea of "seeing a shrink" so I've taken to thinking of it the same way I think about the gardener I have hired to help me with the bushes and trees. This guy is paid help who is helping me sort out some bushes and scrub in my head.

I'm looking at it as a kind of adventure through my head and an opportunity to do some spring cleaning.

hairyprincess

First time posting here. It's great that we can all get support from each other. I'll fill you in on my recent event.

Yesterday I had my third panic attack, and the worst one. My first was about three years ago, the second about a year and half ago, and now yesterdays.

I was making the dinner when all of a sudden I got all shaky in myself, my chest felt like it was caving in and my head was ready to explode. I tried to carry on as normal with the kids being there but I had to leave and go to my room. I breathed into a paper bag for a few minutes and the chest pain and the headache disappeared. As soon as I went back to the kitchen the symptoms reappeared. My neighbour practices reiki so I rang her and thankfully she was available for a session.

The reiki really helped, I felt much calmer and more in control. The reason the attack occurred was because I had an exam this morning, and I guess I was a bit more stressed about it than I realised. I was unsure if I was going to be able to sit the exam but I was determined to go in anyway, and apart from feeling nauseous and having a headache, the exam went fine.

The experience has frightened me though, as each attack I have had to date has been more severe than the lastt, is this how it goes? I didn't even feel it coming and the fact that I am on anti depressants, well it didn't occur to me that I could still have panic attacks.

Funnily enough, I told some of me college mates about the panic attack and they were shocked, they said I was the last person they would think would have a panic attack

Millicent

hairyprincess wrote: »

Funnily enough, I told some of me college mates about the panic attack and they were shocked, they said I was the last person they would think would have a panic attack

From my experience with people with panic attacks, it's always the last person you would think would have one. I think, IME, that's because they're the people who keep things really close to their chest and never let anyone in on what's worrying them.

Have you asked the doctor about anti-anxiety medication instead of the anti-depressants? I know a few panic attack sufferers who found they did wonders.

hairyprincess

hairyprincess wrote: »

Funnily enough, I told some of me college mates about the panic attack and they were shocked, they said I was the last person they would think would have a panic attack

That's the way it is sometimes though. If people were to hear that I get down sometimes, they simply won't believe it, because on the whole I appear content.

mysteries1984

Adamantium wrote: »

Easily the best thread on boards, a great resource,

A quick question.

Can unknown depression (not aware of) manifeat itself in the form of physical pain, as opposed to sadness/grief

I understand chronic pain can lead to depression, but does it work vice versa?

I've been told that when the body is suffering from mental pain, it often manifests itself in physical pain instead - physical pain being easier to deal with, by and large. I don't have much more info than that I'm afraid, but a now-retired psychiatrist told me, so I'd be inclined to think there's something in it.

DeVore wrote: »

I hate hate hate the idea of "seeing a shrink" so I've taken to thinking of it the same way I think about the gardener I have hired to help me with the bushes and trees. This guy is paid help who is helping me sort out some bushes and scrub in my head.

I'm looking at it as a kind of adventure through my head and an opportunity to do some spring cleaning.

I used to think like that too - but my GP at the time said 'if you had diabetes you'd inject yourself with insulin - this is the same thing'. A simplification, yes, but it helped me, certainly. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for years now.

I generally manage my depression pretty well thanks to the aforementioned psychiatrist and anti-depressants. I even reduced my dosage slightly last year, for the first time. It had only increased every so often up to that point. Next step is more reducing, and so on, until eventually I hope to be off them altogether. I'm also going to look at my diet...it's pretty bad overall and really should improve. Not just for depression, but all round.

This is a great resource, and it's so heartening to see all the thumbs up people get and the friendly responses. I know what it feels like when you don't want to burden anyone else, so I'm really pleased to see posts from people saying things like, 'this is my first time posting here but...'. It's so difficult to take that first step so it's great to see.

I don't really have a lot to contribute...if anyone wants to know more about the side effects of high doses of Effexor XL I could probably answer a few questions but that's about it really I do know what it's like to be unable to get out of bed in the morning. I'm hoping those days are over. I had a bit of a relapse about 3 years ago but since then it's been mostly improving, very slowly. I guess I just wanted to say well done to everyone. It's the small steps that count.

Scanlas The 2nd

Has anyone here tried Eckhart Tolle's advice. IMO anyone with depresilsion needs to watch clips of him speaking on YouTube.

Mr Benevolent

DeVore wrote: »

Join me, I've just started counselling.

I hate hate hate the idea of "seeing a shrink" so I've taken to thinking of it the same way I think about the gardener I have hired to help me with the bushes and trees. This guy is paid help who is helping me sort out some bushes and scrub in my head.

If you're trying multiple counsellors I would recommend one trained in NLP - it helped me so much that I became an NLP practitioner (I'm not currently a practitioner though). I'd suggest someone specific and very very good but don't want to do it in public. I'll PM you the name and you can do with it what you will.

JJJJNR

stupidusername wrote: »

I'm doing better today.

i've got a book on mindfullness, and all i have to do is tear myself away from boards so i can get started on it. it's meant to be good.

Brilliant - is it the mindful way through depression?

Mindfullness is really powerful and a great tool to help you get through the bad days. However you need to dedicate time and work at it everyday as a rule, this is the key, it takes a while and plenty of practice to fully understand what your doing and why your doing it.

I've been using it for about 2 years now and its been an amazing journey from where i was to here.. all I do is 10 mins every day now, any questions at all let me know..

Mr Benevolent

JJJJNR wrote: »

Brilliant - is it the mindful way through depression?

Mindfullness is really powerful and a great tool to help you get through the bad days. However you need to dedicate time and work at it everyday as a rule, this is the key, it takes a while and plenty of practice to fully understand what your doing and why your doing it.

I've been using it for about 2 years now and its been an amazing journey from where i was to here.. all I do is 10 mins every day now, any questions at all let me know..

Yup, mindfullness is a great tool. Use it often.

JJJJNR

Very good, but from my own experience its very hard to stay focused on what your doing when you start. esp if you have never meditated before, to me it sounded like a load of psychobabble until I got the time and practiced at it.

neemish

back at work after a stint off with depression. The welcome has been less than warm. I feel like I have leprosy or something! Trying to just smile and nod

Millicent

neemish wrote: »

back at work after a stint off with depression. The welcome has been less than warm. I feel like I have leprosy or something! Trying to just smile and nod

Feck them, don't let them get to you. Well done on getting back to work and let everyone else's reactions go over your head. You're better in yourself and that's all that matters.

mysteries1984

mysteries1984 wrote: »

I don't really have a lot to contribute...if anyone wants to know more about the side effects of high doses of Effexor XL I could probably answer a few questions but that's about it really

My GP put me on a 150mg dose (2x75) about 6 or 7 years ago. It made me throw up. A lot.

candycock

can anyone explain mindfullness to me in simple terms?? and could u reccomend a book for me to get started,
thanks.

stupidusername

JJJJNR wrote: »

Brilliant - is it the mindful way through depression?

Mindfullness is really powerful and a great tool to help you get through the bad days. However you need to dedicate time and work at it everyday as a rule, this is the key, it takes a while and plenty of practice to fully understand what your doing and why your doing it.

I've been using it for about 2 years now and its been an amazing journey from where i was to here.. all I do is 10 mins every day now, any questions at all let me know..

yeah that's the one.

DeVore

neemish wrote: »

back at work after a stint off with depression. The welcome has been less than warm. I feel like I have leprosy or something! Trying to just smile and nod

"Let the dogs bark..." Good friend of mine said that and it was only later I thought more about and realised how right he is. Dogs will bark and there is little you can do about it so you just get on with whatever you are doing...

Pay as little mind to it as you would barking dogs.

neemish

DeVore wrote: »

"Let the dogs bark..." Good friend of mine said that and it was only later I thought more about and realised how right he is. Dogs will bark and there is little you can do about it so you just get on with whatever you are doing...

Pay as little mind to it as you would barking dogs.

Thanks for the support :-)
I'm coping by meeting with people and catching up on the news, reading policy stuff I've missed and generall trying to be "busy". My boss is the worst - no briefing, no indication on if/when he'll talk to me, nothing but hello and sometimes bye.

Trying to let the whole thing slide off my back...strange how strong I am when you consider that a month ago I couldn't put my socks on!

SerialComplaint

neemish wrote: »

back at work after a stint off with depression. The welcome has been less than warm. I feel like I have leprosy or something! Trying to just smile and nod

Send this vid to them;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdPZ7rw0wMc

DeVore

One thing that is that some people are challenged by discussion of mental illness because they are hiding it themselves (or think they are... a lot of people I know think they have "issues" when in fact what they have is the normal freaked-out-scary-big-world-omg feelings that everyone gets, but doesn't want to let on they do )

You're boss may not want to talk to you because you represent a topic he doesnt want to even broach in case someone points a finger at him.


I went through years of being a "top dog" consultant and feeling like one day someone was going to stand up and a point a finger at me and say "hey... yoooooooou dont really know what you are doing do you? DO YOU????"
Some people are so scared that they will be exposed they may just want to shun the person rather than have to face them and by extension the whole topic.



Or he's a dick. Its 50/50

trishasaffron

candycock wrote: »

can anyone explain mindfullness to me in simple terms?? and could u reccomend a book for me to get started,
thanks.

Try "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat Zinn. Oscailt on Pembroke Road run courses on Mindfullness.

Mollikins

I wish I was brave enough to post here the way other people have done. But what I do want to say is no matter how much depression scares me, no matter how terrified I am of my own thoughts sometimes, what scares me more is other people’s attitude towards it. It’s hard to believe that in 21st century Ireland people can be so ignorant of mental illnesses and devoid of compassion towards others.

All I’m capable of saying right now is that I’m not doing great and I don’t know what to do to help myself. The last few months, before this bout came along, I have been thinking about when it all started. I know it’s sort of part of the nature of depression that you can’t remember a time you were ever happy but I really can’t. Even as a young child I was like this. And even though I love them I hate my family for not being there when I needed them most, both as an introverted child and a confused and scared 15 year old.

I’m 21 and a lot of people would say that my life is only beginning really. So why does it already feel over? I’ve tried getting help and I’m tired of working up the courage to admit I’m not ok just to be dismissed and left feeling worse than before, something that I didn’t think was possible. As lonely as it is being on my own with this I prefer it that way because at least others can’t hurt me.

I was really bad last night and if I wasn't interrupted there is no telling what I would have done. I'm scared of myself. I know I’ll regret posting this in the morning but right now I just don’t care.

cloud493

I'm only 19. Its nothing to be ashamed of, its good that you posted here, its a good start.

HonalD

Mollikins wrote: »

I wish I was brave enough to post here the way other people have done. But what I do want to say is no matter how much depression scares me, no matter how terrified I am of my own thoughts sometimes, what scares me more is other people’s attitude towards it. It’s hard to believe that in 21st century Ireland people can be so ignorant of mental illnesses and devoid of compassion towards others.

All I’m capable of saying right now is that I’m not doing great and I don’t know what to do to help myself. The last few months, before this bout came along, I have been thinking about when it all started. I know it’s sort of part of the nature of depression that you can’t remember a time you were ever happy but I really can’t. Even as a young child I was like this. And even though I love them I hate my family for not being there when I needed them most, both as an introverted child and a confused and scared 15 year old.

I’m 21 and a lot of people would say that my life is only beginning really. So why does it already feel over? I’ve tried getting help and I’m tired of working up the courage to admit I’m not ok just to be dismissed and left feeling worse than before, something that I didn’t think was possible. As lonely as it is being on my own with this I prefer it that way because at least others can’t hurt me.

I was really bad last night and if I wasn't interrupted there is no telling what I would have done. I'm scared of myself. I know I’ll regret posting this in the morning but right now I just don’t care.

Never have regrets - make an appointment with your GP, they will guide you. Never give up.

stupidusername

Mollikins wrote: »

As lonely as it is being on my own with this I prefer it that way because at least others can’t hurt me.

i'm realising this myself.