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Are you a 'nice guy' or a 'bad guy' ?

12357

Comments

  • #122
    guitarzero
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    I dont think its black and white with 'bad and good', but I could understand why women would go for someone who is overtly confident bordering cocky, a bit rude/insulting, flirtatious, etc. These lads show a strong sense of determination which isnt subject to anyone else. They dont care what other people think and this shows a lot of power and a high sense of self worth. Theres an element of drama that comes with these fellas and many women perhaps seek drama and excitement, whats the demographic of people who watch soaps? Again, this is just based on an idea of a bad guy. Just like a good guy, its only our own idea of what that is. I know mostly good guys and most of my friends, by a landslide are single.

    From what I've seen, generally, its the lad who laughs loudest and who's FUN seems to get the woman in this country.


  • #123
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    I don't know about that. I have plenty of friends that are married to nice guys that were nice in their 20s and great as well in their 30s.

    Of course everyone is different. We are who we are and no point acting like a bad guy if it isn't who you are. I certainly wouldn't act differently to the way I normally am to get a partner - I mean, how long could (or would I want) to sustain a totally different persona. :D

    How many men in relationships have to pester their girlfriends/wives for sex? IMO when a woman is truly attracted to a man he won't have to continually pester her for sex, she'll be more than willing.


  • #124
    Galvasean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    How many men in relationships have to pester their girlfriends/wives for sex? IMO when a woman is truly attracted to a man he won't have to continually pester her for sex, she'll be more than willing.

    Who said anything about sex? Or if it's only 'nice' guys that have to pester for sex?


  • #125
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Who said anything about sex? Or if it's only 'nice' guys that have to pester for sex?

    I'm pointing out that I think there are a huge amount of relationships that don't work and aren't great as a result of women settling for characteristics such as loyal, thoughtfulness, kindness etc. without the sexual spark. I also do think "nice guys" would have to pester for sex more. The point was made that many women in their 30's regret not getting with the "nice guy". I also think many women who choose the "nice guy" regret it when they are stuck with him after having kids and getting the mortgage.


  • #126
    py2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,845 ✭✭✭py2006


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    I'm pointing out that I think there are a huge amount of relationships that don't work and aren't great as a result of women settling for characteristics such as loyal, thoughtfulness, kindness etc. without the sexual spark. I also do think "nice guys" would have to pester for sex more. The point was made that many women in their 30's regret not getting with the "nice guy". I also think many women who choose the "nice guy" regret it when they are stuck with him after having kids and getting the mortgage.

    What on earth? :confused:


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  • #127
    Galvasean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    I wait with bated breath to see some kind of research done into the correlation between a man's kindness and how much time he spends pestering women for sex...


  • #128
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Galvasean wrote: »
    I wait with bated breath to see some kind of research done into the correlation between a man's kindness and how much time he spends pestering women for sex...

    I'm not claiming there's a correlation with kindness, just that there is a correlation with men who are frequently referred to as a nice guy and how often they have to pester their OH for sex as a result of her not really being turned on by him. This is just my opinion, I don't have studies to show you.


  • #129
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Who said anything about sex? Or if it's only 'nice' guys that have to pester for sex?

    Exactly? I don't get why sex came in to it there at all? I'm lost here, totally :confused:


  • #130
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    I'm not claiming there's a correlation with kindness, just that there is a correlation with men who are frequently referred to as a nice guy and how often they have to pester their OH for sex as a result of her not really being turned on by him. This is just my opinion, I don't have studies to show you.

    What are you talking about,seriously?You're last few posts are bizarre to say the least and Im struggling to believe that you arent trolling.


  • #131
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    What are you talking about,seriously?You're last few posts are bizarre to say the least and Im struggling to believe that you arent trolling.

    I'm fairly certain there are many women out there who regret marrying the "nice guy". I assume it's my opinion on "nice guys" pestering their OH for sex more that you suspect I'm trolling as it's an unusual opinion to have. That's what I think, I'll leave the thread if you think I'm trolling.


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  • #132
    Galvasean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    I'm not claiming there's a correlation with kindness, just that there is a correlation with men who are frequently referred to as a nice guy and how often they have to pester their OH for sex as a result of her not really being turned on by him. This is just my opinion, I don't have studies to show you.

    Again though, you really haven't done anything to convince me of the point that 'nice' men have to pester their OH for sex more than 'bad boys'. To me it sounds like you are soap boxing based on a sweeping generalization.


  • #133
    Galvasean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    FYI blonde guys have to pester their OH for sex for than dark haired and ginger guys. Why? because I said so.


  • #134
    FetchTheGin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 857 ✭✭✭FetchTheGin


    Galvasean wrote: »
    FYI blonde guys have to pester their OH for sex for than dark haired and ginger guys. Why? because I said so.

    Phew!


  • #135
    darklighter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 492 ✭✭darklighter


    Galvasean wrote: »
    FYI blonde guys have to pester their OH for sex for than dark haired and ginger guys. Why? because I said so.

    What about guys with no hair???? :rolleyes::rolleyes:


  • #136
    py2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,845 ✭✭✭py2006


    Isn't it usually the 'bad guys' that pester for sex off women? :confused:


  • #137
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Again though, you really haven't done anything to convince me of the point that 'nice' men have to pester their OH for sex more than 'bad boys'. To me it sounds like you are soap boxing based on a sweeping generalization.

    I don't think it's bizaare to say that "nice guys" tend to be sexually unappealing to women. I think as a result of this when in a relationship their OH tends to be less willing to have have sex with them so they end up having to pester their OH for sex.


  • #138
    Galvasean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    darklighter wrote: »
    What about guys with no hair???? :rolleyes::rolleyes:

    Actually I read study that women find baldness more attractive than a full head of hair on a man. So I guess you guys win.


  • #139
    Galvasean
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    I don't think it's bizaare to say that "nice guys" tend to be sexually unappealing to women. I think as a result of this when in a relationship their OH tends to be less willing to have have sex with them so they end up having to pester their OH for sex.

    Would any women like to make comment on this? I mean is a man being nice a huge turnoff? (doubt it)


  • #140
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    There seems to be this underlying premise that good guys are unattractive and sexually unappealing. That is totally ridiculous. I have met many men in my travels that are both attractive and really decent guys.

    As for pestering for sex, I don't get the idea that nice guys pester more at all. In my experience they all pester at times, good guy or not :p;)


  • #141
    darklighter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 492 ✭✭darklighter


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    I don't think it's bizaare to say that "nice guys" tend to be sexually unappealing to women. I think as a result of this when in a relationship their OH tends to be less willing to have have sex with them so they end up having to pester their OH for sex.

    Definitely think its bizarre you think this.

    This may be a far fetched example but as far as I know, George Clooney has done nothing to women to be classed as anything other than a "nice guy" and nearly every woman I know finds him extremely sexually appealing. Wayne Rooney on the other hand has treated his missus like cr*p and is definitely not a "nice guy" and I dont know any women who find him sexually appealing.

    But its probably best to let some of the female boardsies agree or disagree with your POV


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  • #142
    darklighter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 492 ✭✭darklighter


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    There seems to be this underlying premise that good guys are unattractive and sexually unappealing. That is totally ridiculous. I have met many men in my travels that are both attractive and really decent guys.

    As for pestering for sex, I don't get the idea that nice guys pester more at all. In my experience they all pester at times, good guy or not :p;)

    Hinting isnt pestering :o


  • #143
    Malari
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    I don't think it's bizaare to say that "nice guys" tend to be sexually unappealing to women. I think as a result of this when in a relationship their OH tends to be less willing to have have sex with them so they end up having to pester their OH for sex.

    But why would they be in a relationship with someone they find sexually unappealing?


  • #144
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    darklighter wrote: »
    Hinting isnt pestering :o

    Yeah, yeah, OK, hinting.... I meant HINTING!!!! :p


  • #145
    darklighter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 492 ✭✭darklighter


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    Yeah, yeah, OK, hinting.... I meant HINTING!!!! :p

    Phew....otherwise i'd definitely not be getting any action :D


  • #146
    FetchTheGin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 857 ✭✭✭FetchTheGin


    Malari wrote: »
    But why would they be in a relationship with someone they find sexually unappealing?

    Maybe they have lots of money...


  • #147
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    Yeah, yeah, OK, hinting.... I meant HINTING!!!! :p

    Hint oooo come on sex ed 101 clearly stipulate women love sensual touching I prefer to just turn the oven on much easier :)


    As for nice guy bad guy I am who I am.... Tho I'm not a hipster so I'm ok :)


  • #148
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Would any women like to make comment on this? I mean is a man being nice a huge turnoff? (doubt it)

    I'm in no way saying men who are good or nice are a huge turn off. All I'm saying is men who are frequently referred to as a nice guy are a turn off.


  • #149
    g'em
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,819 ✭✭✭✭g'em


    Galvasean wrote: »
    Would any women like to make comment on this? I mean is a man being nice a huge turnoff? (doubt it)

    No, of course it's not a huge turnoff. But again it comes down to the definition of 'nice'. A pushover is not a turn on. A man who will treat you with respect, dignity and compassion? I'd hazard a guess that any woman who didn't find that a turn on (fanciableness and chemistry and whatnot assumed) is a bit... unstable.

    tbh it really doesn't matter if you are male or female, there's an integral and fundamental risk/ reward thing at play where nice "people" are concerned. 'Bad boys' will come across as being that bit more elusive, that bit more of a challenge, we're programmed to recognise that when something involves a little bit of effort to attain then it will appear more rewarding than something that's handed to us. That doesn't make it right or wrong, it just means that's part of an instinctual reaction - i.e. the guys who chase the girls and the girls who go after bad boys because they represent a little bit of danger and someone they will most likely subconsciously try to change. That's why you'll often see this behaviour attributed to some younger people. You go through it, you get your heart broken a few gazillion times, then your head catches up with your heart and (eventually) your loins and you start to reassess your rather innapropriate decision making abilities.


  • #150
    FetchTheGin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 857 ✭✭✭FetchTheGin


    I think it is instinctive.

    Just like some men are more inclined to go for women with amazing figures ie bigger boobs etc. which I admit seems to be more frowned upon.


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  • #151
    py2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,845 ✭✭✭py2006


    FetchTheGin wrote: »
    I think it is instinctive.

    Just like some men are more inclined to go for women with amazing figures ie bigger boobs etc. which I admit seems to be more frowned upon.

    In fairness the majority of men don't base their reasoning for getting married based on the size of the girlfriends boobs.

    It may be what initially catches their eye. But if she is a stuck-up weapon, big boobs won't save her!


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