Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Jehovah Witness
Options
Comments
-
problemchimp wrote: »But surely past members of J.W. would be more informed about this religion than most, if not all on this thread. If they speak bad of it well maybe their experiences are real proof rather than just forum talk based on nothing.
Not necessarily. You would have to know the reasons why they left the religion, the real reason.0 -
Yes, true. But would it not be fair to say the reason the majority of them have left is because they have some problem with their religion, therefore their views on this are more valid because of their experiences rather than the views of people who have no direct experience. The reason I initially posted is because ElleEm dismissed their views as just some ex-J.W.s who have a bit of a gripe. Like I said, I would be extremely p!ssed off if someone was trying to "educate" my kids on any religion in a sneaky kind of way.It's not just about the religion but about the way it was done.JohnMarston wrote: »Not necessarily. You would have to know the reasons why they left the religion, the real reason.0 -
thank you to all for your comments.
I suppose putting the religious aspect aside, can any parent out there give me their opinion and how they might react in the same situation
thanks0 -
Really the only way to resolve this is to try to communicate better with your partner and if that means inviting her friend over to talk then you will have to do that. I know you said there is a language problem, but you will just have to deal with that as best as you can, like you would in other situations. Don't expect things to be resolved after one meeting, it may take time. Arguments with your partner in front of your daughter will not help things, no more than arguments with your daughter. Hopefully the fact that your daughter is 12 means her interest will pass.thank you to all for your comments.
I suppose putting the religious aspect aside, can any parent out there give me their opinion and how they might react in the same situation
thanks0 -
problemchimp wrote: »Really the only way to resolve this is to try to communicate better with your partner and if that means inviting her friend over to talk then you will have to do that. I know you said there is a language problem, but you will just have to deal with that as best as you can, like you would in other situations. Don't expect things to be resolved after one meeting, it may take time. Arguments with your partner in front of your daughter will not help things, no more than arguments with your daughter. Hopefully the fact that your daughter is 12 means her interest will pass.
The friend of my wife is not JW. A JW woman comes to her house to teach her 2 children.
Its true I have to communicate better at home. I want to present the facts to my wife but she has said its her decision as its her child.
I think our daughter will soon realize that 2 hours in prayer meeting is 2 less hours on the Wii. She has no interest in religion, its all to be with friend and do as friend does0 -
Advertisement
-
It sounds like your daughter has little to compare the JW beliefs to
12 year olds are very impressionable, but also tend to still talk to their parents...
Have you talked to her about these sessions and her reaction to them?
Have you explained to her why you consider yourselves Catholic?
If she is insistent on continuing with this, have you tried balancing this "education" with Catholic or non-denominational experiences suitable for children her age?
Its probably a bit late in the season for christian youth clubs, but how about a christian children's camp run by an organisation you would trust?
At the end of the day, your daughter's faith has to be her decision. It's a Christian parent's responsibility to steer that walk of faith. I'm a parent of three teenagers, the youngest is 13. My wife and I have lived our faith since we were their age and younger, and do our best to guide and direct our children to their own faith - through church, christian youth clubs, bible studies, Christian Union, inter denominational Youth camps (teenstreet, scripture union etc.), or specific denominational camps. Even if your daugher is not "interested in religon" right now, she may well be any time soon, and children tend to learn by example, so perhaps its a good time to review your own faith?
Also remember that kids like to rebel - if you say she cant do something, she may well want to do it more!0 -
It sounds like your daughter has little to compare the JW beliefs to
12 year olds are very impressionable, but also tend to still talk to their parents...
Have you talked to her about these sessions and her reaction to them?
Have you explained to her why you consider yourselves Catholic?
If she is insistent on continuing with this, have you tried balancing this "education" with Catholic or non-denominational experiences suitable for children her age?
Its probably a bit late in the season for christian youth clubs, but how about a christian children's camp run by an organisation you would trust?
At the end of the day, your daughter's faith has to be her decision. It's a Christian parent's responsibility to steer that walk of faith. I'm a parent of three teenagers, the youngest is 13. My wife and I have lived our faith since we were their age and younger, and do our best to guide and direct our children to their own faith - through church, christian youth clubs, bible studies, Christian Union, inter denominational Youth camps (teenstreet, scripture union etc.), or specific denominational camps. Even if your daugher is not "interested in religon" right now, she may well be any time soon, and children tend to learn by example, so perhaps its a good time to review your own faith?
Also remember that kids like to rebel - if you say she cant do something, she may well want to do it more!
For our daughter, this really has nothing to do with religion. Its all about doing what the friend does, it really is.
If the friend painted her face blue, our daughter would do the same.
My wife thinks its all harmless, Im more cynical of this womans intentions.0 -
It is very important in a situation like this to do some research into this religion / organisation to help you allay your fears. It is true that there is a huge number of anti or critical websites aimed at the Watchtower. These sites are invariably run by ex-witnesses who have left, or who have been disfellowshipped. It is next to impossible to get a completely unbiased and fully truthful answer to your dilemna...
However what I would think about doing is contacting a representative of the organisation and ask some well thought out questions..ergo...
Are JWs permitted to attend mass/services in other churches at any time, including weddings/baptisms etc..
Are JWs permitted to join social groups/sporting teams or clubs of non JWs
Will JWs in time be encouraged to shun non JW members of his/her own family
There are many more, these are just a few. Any JW rep. should be happy to help you out with these.
These are critical questions you need to ask, please also be careful that they do not try and foggy the air with biblical quotations. Demand answers in plain and unaldultrated English.
If you are satisfied with your feedback and you feel it is genuine, you may be more comfortable with the situation...hope this helps.0 -
Txatxu Urki wrote: »It is very important in a situation like this to do some research into this religion / organisation to help you allay your fears. It is true that there is a huge number of anti or critical websites aimed at the Watchtower. These sites are invariably run by ex-witnesses who have left, or who have been disfellowshipped. It is next to impossible to get a completely unbiased and fully truthful answer to your dilemna...
However what I would think about doing is contacting a representative of the organisation and ask some well thought out questions..ergo...
Are JWs permitted to attend mass/services in other churches at any time, including weddings/baptisms etc..
Are JWs permitted to join social groups/sporting teams or clubs of non JWs
Will JWs in time be encouraged to shun non JW members of his/her own family
There are many more, these are just a few. Any JW rep. should be happy to help you out with these.
These are critical questions you need to ask, please also be careful that they do not try and foggy the air with biblical quotations. Demand answers in plain and unaldultrated English.
If you are satisfied with your feedback and you feel it is genuine, you may be more comfortable with the situation...hope this helps.
Thank you so much, these are exactly the type of questions we need to be asking.
Can anyone else help out with more questions ?
My wife thinks its harmless if shes not baptized, but the friend is baptized and thats why I fear it could happen also to our daughter.
Something else just popped into my mind.
Last week there was a birthday party for a girl in our daughters class. All the class attended EXCEPT our daughters friend. The excuse given was that "friend" misbehaved and was grounded. Now it makes sense !! its because they are JW !!0 -
OP: I was raised as a JW and was in the "truth" the phrase they use to describe the religion for 25 years. I served as a minister in a local congregation for around 5 years before I woke up to the reality...
A couple of things you should know. JWs appear very nice, helpful, friendly but this friendship has strings attached. They are actively trying to convert your wife and step daughter. They genuinely believe that they are carrying out gods preaching work and the one and only true religion and the only way to know god. Everyone else is destined to die in Armagedon, everyone... apart from JWs.
The faith of JWs may appear to be similar to that of Christianity but there are massive differences between mainstream religion and this cult. When I was a JW I would laugh when people said "That religion divides families" but coming from a family where my immediate + extended family are JWs I can say without a doubt it split my family right down the centre. I went as far as shunning my own brother because he left the organization. (This action is actively promoted by the elders/priests and endorsed by the organization)
I would recommend you take the following approach.
Do not tell your partner that its wrong, cult, evil etc. etc. the way she is reacting, this approach will push her further towards it. Instead embrace the idea, but say that you want to look in the religion because you care about them both...
The internet is full of good reasons why you shouldn't ever become involved with this group. There have been many many child abuse cover ups http://www.silentlambs.org/ . Along with that the blood policy that JWs adopt has killed many many young ones.0 -
Advertisement
-
Thank you so much, these are exactly the type of questions we need to be asking.
Can anyone else help out with more questions ?
My wife thinks its harmless if shes not baptized, but the friend is baptized and thats why I fear it could happen also to our daughter.
Something else just popped into my mind.
Last week there was a birthday party for a girl in our daughters class. All the class attended EXCEPT our daughters friend. The excuse given was that "friend" misbehaved and was grounded. Now it makes sense !! its because they are JW !!
You are in a difficult place because if your wife asks some of the questions suggested the publisher will probably ask "Have you been talking to someoen who opposes the work of JWS?", one of the first things JWs will mention is that family members can be used by Satan to distract and to stop you from studying with them (I believe that is actually mentioned in teh study material).
I think you are better investigating offline without having the JW there...0 -
escapethematrix wrote: »OP: I was raised as a JW and was in the "truth" the phrase they use to describe the religion for 25 years. I served as a minister in a local congregation for around 5 years before I woke up to the reality...
A couple of things you should know. JWs appear very nice, helpful, friendly but this friendship has strings attached. They are actively trying to convert your wife and step daughter. They genuinely believe that they are carrying out gods preaching work and the one and only true religion and the only way to know god. Everyone else is destined to die in Armagedon, everyone... apart from JWs.
The faith of JWs may appear to be similar to that of Christianity but there are massive differences between mainstream religion and this cult. When I was a JW I would laugh when people said "That religion divides families" but coming from a family where my immediate + extended family are JWs I can say without a doubt it split my family right down the centre. I went as far as shunning my own brother because he left the organization. (This action is actively promoted by the elders/priests and endorsed by the organization)
I would recommend you take the following approach.
Do not tell your partner that its wrong, cult, evil etc. etc. the way she is reacting, this approach will push her further towards it. Instead embrace the idea, but say that you want to look in the religion because you care about them both...
The internet is full of good reasons why you shouldn't ever become involved with this group. There have been many many child abuse cover ups http://www.silentlambs.org/ . Along with that the blood policy that JWs adopt has killed many many young ones.
Thank you so much for posting. May I ask why you left ?
I thought I was paranoid thinking she is going to recruit my wife next, but thank you for also thinking or knowing.
Im reading alot about this today and I am uncomfortable0 -
Make sure you counteract the lessons so... Ask her what the lady taught her and make fun of the bits you find objectionable with your daughter. It doesn't have to be done in a mean way but "that's a bit silly, isn't it?" and examining the religion with her could help her to see it as what it can best be: a chance to see what some people convince themselves is true.0
-
I think other posters dismissing people who left J.W.s as people with a gripe should consider what they are saying as it could be harmful. There is a lot to be said for experience as escapethematrix has pointed out.escapethematrix wrote: »OP: I was raised as a JW and was in the "truth" the phrase they use to describe the religion for 25 years. I served as a minister in a local congregation for around 5 years before I woke up to the reality...
A couple of things you should know. JWs appear very nice, helpful, friendly but this friendship has strings attached. They are actively trying to convert your wife and step daughter. They genuinely believe that they are carrying out gods preaching work and the one and only true religion and the only way to know god. Everyone else is destined to die in Armagedon, everyone... apart from JWs.
The faith of JWs may appear to be similar to that of Christianity but there are massive differences between mainstream religion and this cult. When I was a JW I would laugh when people said "That religion divides families" but coming from a family where my immediate + extended family are JWs I can say without a doubt it split my family right down the centre. I went as far as shunning my own brother because he left the organization. (This action is actively promoted by the elders/priests and endorsed by the organization)
I would recommend you take the following approach.
Do not tell your partner that its wrong, cult, evil etc. etc. the way she is reacting, this approach will push her further towards it. Instead embrace the idea, but say that you want to look in the religion because you care about them both...
The internet is full of good reasons why you shouldn't ever become involved with this group. There have been many many child abuse cover ups http://www.silentlambs.org/ . Along with that the blood policy that JWs adopt has killed many many young ones.0 -
problemchimp wrote: »I think other posters dismissing people who left J.W.s as people with a gripe should consider what they are saying as it could be harmful. There is a lot to be said for experience as escapethematrix has pointed out.
thank you, I agree.
My concerns are as a step-parent who loves his step-daughter and who wants to protect her. I trust my instincts are there is something not right about this.
Our daughters friend cannot go to parties, she cannot have a facebook, they didnt celebrate christmas.
I need to be more clever and step back a bit. My wife and daughter will realise, but my wife and I need to educate ourselves on this first0 -
Test your wife's resolve. Bring home a Rabbi and an Imam to teach your her more religions, let's see how tolerant she really is ....
0 -
Thank you so much for posting. May I ask why you left ?
I thought I was paranoid thinking she is going to recruit my wife next, but thank you for also thinking or knowing.
Im reading alot about this today and I am uncomfortable
I think its important for people to know just how things are controlled when you are a JW. JW's have to report their time and statistics every month. Each publisher (regardless of baptized or not) puts down how many magazines, hours and return visits (when you call back to someone you have left mags with), bible studies. JWs seek to convert as many return visits into bible studies and then get these ones coming to meetings. These figures are collected and sent to HQ. A Circuit overseer (a guy from HQ) will come a couple of times a year and review these, your performance is based on these numbers. If you are not keeping the average (when I left it was around 8-10 hours a month), you will get a visit to be "encouraged". Each meeting the attendance numbers are kept, these are sent to HQ as well.
A new one (frist time in KH) will experience love bombing. Everyone seems so interested in this person, asking questions, friendly etc. For many this is really appealing and it feels like everyone is so loving. The kids are well behaved, dressed well, they don't curse. From and outside perspective it looks really good. It doesn't seem like a cult/high control group... However the following will be controlled indirectly/directly more and more:
1) Family ties - If you have anyone who is opposing your being a witness you will be advised to not spend time with them
2) Entertainment - Your children will be actively discouraged from taking part in any outside school activities, soccer training, dancing etc. as a kid growing up I never got to do any of these things.
3) Education - As a JW kid you will be encouraged to not seek third level education but instead devote yourself entirely to "gods work". Full time preaching or part time, supported with a sh1tty job that will get you nowhere.
4) Meeting attendence - You will be expected to attend all meetings, there is no valid excuse other than being ill for not attending. i.e. its not valid reason to say "I have a family day out and can't make it..." (Interesting read http://www.seanet.com/~raines/mental.html )
5) Field Service (Preaching) - As a publisher you must report your time every month. If you do not you will become "irregular". You will be targetted by the loving shepherds (elders) who will bully you into returning. (making you feel guilty etc).
6) Faithful and discrete slave - This is the group of men in NY who decide all of Watchtower beliefs. You must agree with everything they say. You are not able to disagree with anything, this is even if you believe it contradicts the bible or even your conscience.
7) No research - You will be actively discouraged from researching anything, doctrinal etc. The watchtower has done all the work for you and you need to leave your brain at the door and accept all because it's likely you are not able to understand these things and will confuse yourself (or you could find out majority of teachings are bogus)
8) Friendships - You are actively discouraged from having friends who are not in the "truth". Everyone who is in the "world" cannot be trusted, they are part of satans system and will mislead you. JWs have propaghanda made especially for young ones that paint all youths outside the org as being only interested in sex / drugs / cigaretes etc.
9) Celebrations (what celebrations??) - You cannot celebrate, birthdays, christmas, easter, halloween, new years etc etc. The only thing you can celebrate is weddings + anniversaries.
While I am not disfellowshipped (when you are forcefully removed by congregation)/disassociated (when you decide its not right and leave), I am classed as inactive, I have not put a report in for years now. I made it clear to the elders they were not welcome in my house in the capacity of "spiritual men". If I decide to disassociate the remaining members of my family will no longer be able to talk to me... I dont want to put them in that position. The mind control is very strong. For anyone who says they aren't really your family if they do things like that, you don't know what it's like,, it's put like "Are you loyal to God or loyal to man?"
I left because I started to research the blood policy. It's another thread in itself but it became apparent it was nonsense and hypocritcal. I started to dwell on the hundreds/thousands of JWs that had died because of this belief. The more I investigated the less sense it made. This was the start for me. Since that point the whole belief system collapsed, fundamental doctrines can be pulled apart very easily.0 -
escapethematrix wrote: »I think its important for people to know just how things are controlled when you are a JW. JW's have to report their time and statistics every month. Each publisher (regardless of baptized or not) puts down how many magazines, hours and return visits (when you call back to someone you have left mags with), bible studies. JWs seek to convert as many return visits into bible studies and then get these ones coming to meetings. These figures are collected and sent to HQ. A Circuit overseer (a guy from HQ) will come a couple of times a year and review these, your performance is based on these numbers. If you are not keeping the average (when I left it was around 8-10 hours a month), you will get a visit to be "encouraged". Each meeting the attendance numbers are kept, these are sent to HQ as well.
A new one (frist time in KH) will experience love bombing. Everyone seems so interested in this person, asking questions, friendly etc. For many this is really appealing and it feels like everyone is so loving. The kids are well behaved, dressed well, they don't curse. From and outside perspective it looks really good. It doesn't seem like a cult/high control group... However the following will be controlled indirectly/directly more and more:
1) Family ties - If you have anyone who is opposing your being a witness you will be advised to not spend time with them
2) Entertainment - Your children will be actively discouraged from taking part in any outside school activities, soccer training, dancing etc. as a kid growing up I never got to do any of these things.
3) Education - As a JW kid you will be encouraged to not seek third level education but instead devote yourself entirely to "gods work". Full time preaching or part time, supported with a sh1tty job that will get you nowhere.
4) Meeting attendence - You will be expected to attend all meetings, there is no valid excuse other than being ill for not attending. i.e. its not valid reason to say "I have a family day out and can't make it..." (Interesting read http://www.seanet.com/~raines/mental.html )
5) Field Service (Preaching) - As a publisher you must report your time every month. If you do not you will become "irregular". You will be targetted by the loving shepherds (elders) who will bully you into returning. (making you feel guilty etc).
6) Faithful and discrete slave - This is the group of men in NY who decide all of Watchtower beliefs. You must agree with everything they say. You are not able to disagree with anything, this is even if you believe it contradicts the bible or even your conscience.
7) No research - You will be actively discouraged from researching anything, doctrinal etc. The watchtower has done all the work for you and you need to leave your brain at the door and accept all because it's likely you are not able to understand these things and will confuse yourself (or you could find out majority of teachings are bogus)
8) Friendships - You are actively discouraged from having friends who are not in the "truth". Everyone who is in the "world" cannot be trusted, they are part of satans system and will mislead you. JWs have propaghanda made especially for young ones that paint all youths outside the org as being only interested in sex / drugs / cigaretes etc.
9) Celebrations (what celebrations??) - You cannot celebrate, birthdays, christmas, easter, halloween, new years etc etc. The only thing you can celebrate is weddings + anniversaries.
While I am not disfellowshipped (when you are forcefully removed by congregation)/disassociated (when you decide its not right and leave), I am classed as inactive, I have not put a report in for years now. I made it clear to the elders they were not welcome in my house in the capacity of "spiritual men". If I decide to disassociate the remaining members of my family will no longer be able to talk to me... I dont want to put them in that position. The mind control is very strong. For anyone who says they aren't really your family if they do things like that, you don't know what it's like,, it's put like "Are you loyal to God or loyal to man?"
I left because I started to research the blood policy. It's another thread in itself but it became apparent it was nonsense and hypocritcal. I started to dwell on the hundreds/thousands of JWs that had died because of this belief. The more I investigated the less sense it made. This was the start for me. Since that point the whole belief system collapsed, fundamental doctrines can be pulled apart very easily.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Now I'm very concerned but also a little more educated.
I am going to show my wife this entire thread tonight.0 -
Advice needed :
I live with my wife our son and gf's 2 daughters (14 and 12).
At the weekend our 12 year old asked if she could go to church with her best friend and best friend mother, we said ok.
12 year old came home with Jehovah Witness bible did not go to a church but stayed in best friends house where a Jehovah Witness woman came to teach the children. I nearly cracked up when I heard this and thought it was very sneaky of the best friends mother.
I spoke with wife and said this was unacceptalbe, and I did not want my step-daughter going there for private Jehovah tutoring. My wifes reaction completely taking me by surprise.....
"ah sure theres no harm in it, she wants to learn about God and Jesus and whats the harm" ....
I said we are Cathloics, we can bring her to a church or educate her if she really wants to.
The point is, does she really want to ? or wants to do it because best friend does it ?
I told my wife I dont support this decision and I dont want them in our house.
Yesterday the Jehovah witness woman phoned my wife and asked if she could come to our house weekly to teach our daughter (my step daughter), I immediately said NO WAY and now my wife cant understand this.
To educate MYSELF on what this religion is, I spent hours reading about it online yesterday. Im no comfortable with this at all but my wife will not listen.
I even got a "shes MY daughter and I will decide".
Please give some advice,
thanks
You must put an end to it immediately. Your daughter is Catholic not Jehovah which is a made up religion of yet another crazy dude from America. Jehovas can be very very aggressive and pushy with their religion. I had a woman put her foot in the door when I went to close it after saying ''no thanks''. This is how pushy they are.
It is a cult religion and not authentic Christianity. Your wife should be putting her childs Catholic education first ( since this is the vow you both take to raise your children Catholic ) and not be putting her ''best friends'' feelings first.
Your wife is just afraid of hurting her best friends feelings, but who comes first ....your child and his/her future... or... some best friend who is pushing his/her beliefs into your house and her ''feelings''?
get on your man cap and take a stand in the household, but do so as clever as you can about it and as gentle as you can be.
Onesimus0 -
Much of the danger is not in the explicit but with the implicit regarding JW's. A lot of the things that people say they 'actively promote', well they don't really actively promote. For example, if someone disassociates themselves (basically leaves), then they are not officially shunned, like someone who is disfellowshipped is. So if you ask an elder about this, they may say, 'no, no, thats not what happens', however, implicitly it is encouraged.
Like any successful brainwashing, subtlety is key. Having people feel like they have arrived at a conclusion themselves. Lets face it, people who are brainwashed, are never going to say, 'yeah, I'm being brainwashed'. It would defeat the purpose wouldn't it?!:)
Make no mistake, like in all walks of life, you'll have nice people and not so nice people that are JW's. They don't bleed acid, and they don't seek to take your children away into the night. BUT, the religion IS dangerous. Just remember, its the implicit more than the explicit thats the big issue from a controlling perspective.
There is enough evidence also to show the organisation up to be false too though. Look up the JW's end of world predictions. Things like the end will come before the last of the generation of the governing body that were there in 1914 dies. Then they revise it, and hold this revision up as a victory of honesty, a 'see, we are not afraid to admit we're wrong in our quest for truth' etc. Which of course is admirable, unless you are claiming to be Gods 'faithful and discreet slave, giving food at the proper time' etc. Don't be fooled, false prophets will always scramble and spin there way out of failed 'prophecy'. Those who have been programmed to have faith in the organisation usually accept their spin too.
I second the recommendation about not being aggressively opposed, but if you can point out some of the dangers of this group, without hysteria, it would probably be effective. From the parenting point of view, it sounds like you should talk to your wife openly about how you feel in relation to her attitude towards your input in the rearing of your step children. Good communication cannot be emphasised enough.
Hope it all goes well OP.0 -
Advertisement
-
You must put an end to it immediately. Your daughter is Catholic not Jehovah which is a made up religion of yet another crazy dude from America. Jehovas can be very very aggressive and pushy with their religion. I had a woman put her foot in the door when I went to close it after saying ''no thanks''. This is how pushy they are.
It is a cult religion and not authentic Christianity. Your wife should be putting her childs Catholic education first ( since this is the vow you both take to raise your children Catholic ) and not be putting her ''best friends'' feelings first.
Your wife is just afraid of hurting her best friends feelings, but who comes first ....your child and his/her future... or... some best friend who is pushing his/her beliefs into your house and her ''feelings''?
get on your man cap and take a stand in the household, but do so as clever as you can about it and as gentle as you can be.
Onesimus
thank you Onesimus, but its not a case of "take a stand in the household".
I dont dictate how my family works. Even if things get worse and I try to put the foot down then I fear I will push daughter and wife and rest of family further away. Isnt this what the JW would like ?0 -
I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, and my experience was NOTHING like Escape's.
My family are open, and loving and we didn't really have much relationships with fellow Witnesses outside of the Kingdom Hall (place of worship). Myself and my siblings had the same childhood as everyone else, the only difference was that we went to a bible study and two "meetings" (like mass) a week in the Kingdom Hall. We didn't celebrate birthdays, Christmas or involve ourselves in other religious (Catholic) ceremonies but other than that, we had the same childhood as everyone. We played on the road, we had fights, we attended parties, had mobile phones, we ate sweets, we watched TV etc. We weren't consumed by the religion, which is often the portrayal of Jehovah's Witnesses in the public.
I stopped attending the meetings as a teen, as all of my siblings did, as we were given a choice on whether or not we wished to continue. We chose not to, and it did not have ANY effect on our relationships with our parents or the people who we met in the Kingdom Hall. My parents (not practicing anymore) still have friends from the congregation who they see regularly. We were never discouraged not to have friends outside of the Kingdom Hall.
I hate reading stuff like Escape has written, as it is a different world to the one I knew. I was never aware of any bullying or coercian and my folk's wouldn't have experience of that either.
I said it in another thread in the past, but I REALLY believe that there must be some oldschool elders who run congregations like they are in the dark ages. I have never witnessed anything like Escape said.0 -
You must put an end to it immediately. Your daughter is Catholic not Jehovah which is a made up religion of yet another crazy dude from America. Jehovas can be very very aggressive and pushy with their religion. I had a woman put her foot in the door when I went to close it after saying ''no thanks''. This is how pushy they are.
It is a cult religion and not authentic Christianity. Your wife should be putting her childs Catholic education first ( since this is the vow you both take to raise your children Catholic ) and not be putting her ''best friends'' feelings first.
Your wife is just afraid of hurting her best friends feelings, but who comes first ....your child and his/her future... or... some best friend who is pushing his/her beliefs into your house and her ''feelings''?
get on your man cap and take a stand in the household, but do so as clever as you can about it and as gentle as you can be.
Onesimus
The religion is called Jehovah's Witnesses, as in witnesses of Jehovah, which is allegedly God's name. Check the bible!!!0 -
thank you Onesimus, but its not a case of "take a stand in the household".
I dont dictate how my family works. Even if things get worse and I try to put the foot down then I fear I will push daughter and wife and rest of family further away. Isnt this what the JW would like ?
Well, the whole 'put the foot down' is a bit counter productive in a good communicative marriage anyway IMO, so its not something I'd encourage, but different strokes I suppose.
As for 'Isn't this what a JW would want'. I have actually heard it from the JW pulpit! Wives going against their 'tyrannical' husbands for the sake of the JW's etc. Held up as pseudo-martyrs. Its obviously nowhere near that at the moment, but I'd definitely be wary of any growing influence that JW's may have. Again, getting hysterical will probably be counter productive, but let your wife know about the facts. Remember though, that if people are receptive, they can fall for the spin put out by the JW organisation about their past discrepancies etc.0 -
There is a good chance that if the girl gets involved with JWs, they will try to turn her against her family. JWs are dangerous. If you challenge their beliefs, they think you are a child of the devil. They encourage members to shun such people, even if they are family.
You can get sound information here - scroll down the page for info about the JWs:
http://www.catholic.com/library/noncatholic_groups.asp
The girl has a desire for God and such but I would try and steer her towards a Catholic youth group if you can find one.0 -
You must put an end to it immediately. Your daughter is Catholic not Jehovah which is a made up religion of yet another crazy dude from America. Jehovas can be very very aggressive and pushy with their religion. I had a woman put her foot in the door when I went to close it after saying ''no thanks''. This is how pushy they are.
It is a cult religion and not authentic Christianity. Your wife should be putting her childs Catholic education first ( since this is the vow you both take to raise your children Catholic ) and not be putting her ''best friends'' feelings first.
ALL religions are cults. FACT!
The Catholic church is just as made up as any other.
So get off the high horse with your "my god/religion is better than yours" crap.
You lot make me laugh!!!0 -
There is a good chance that if the girl gets involved with JWs, they will try to turn her against her family. JWs are dangerous. If you challenge their beliefs, they think you are a child of the devil. They encourage members to shun such people, even if they are family. You can get sound information here - scroll down the page for info about the JWs:
http://www.catholic.com/library/noncatholic_groups.asp
The girl has a desire for God and such but I would try and steer her towards a Catholic youth group if you can find one.
Where are you getting this sh!t from?
Edit- I see you got it from a Catholic website... would the OP not be better off checking out a website dedicated to Jehovah's Witnesses as opposed to a Catholic website who's prime focus is to encourage a CATHOLIC following?
I'm no longer practicing and my family don't think I am "a child of the devil". That is ridiculous. And it's not just my family... I know a few people my age that decided against committing to the religion and the only difference between them and their families is that their families attend the meetings. They are still loved and parts of their families.0 -
does it seem very common for people to leave JW as they "grow up" or get older ??
Ok, Im generalising ... Im a Catholic and go to church twice a year.
For me again I say, its not about the religion, its about protecting my daughter and the way this woman is like a predator.
I am going home now and will have big discussion with wife tonight, I will update the thread tomorrow
thank you to all who wrote today0 -
Lillylilly wrote: »I hate reading stuff like Escape has written, as it is a different world to the one I knew. I was never aware of any bullying or coercian and my folk's wouldn't have experience of that either.
I said it in another thread in the past, but I REALLY believe that there must be some oldschool elders who run congregations like they are in the dark ages. I have never witnessed anything like Escape said.
You hate reading things like this? Because they spoil your rose tinted experience (which was so good you decided to leave along with the rest of your family).
Do you know what I hate reading? Stories of those who feel they have to defend a faith they have left themselves. I come from third generation JW family and have seen old school, new school. Lived in other countries where JWs are active and it is the same. I am not dissing the people, as said from the outset JWs sincerely believe what they teach, problem is what they teach is unfactual and may even get you killed.
Out of everything you said though, I am truly puzzled at the statement that you were never discouraged from having friends outside the congregation.
The magazines are full of articles about Young People ask and avoiding association with those who do not share your beliefs. They released a DVD with a drama about it!!
You are one of the lucky ones if you escaped without having the "Can I speak to you in the back room for a minute" "Would you mind if myself and Brother X called around to speak to you sometime this week?" "Would you please attend a meeting at the kingdom hall with myself , brother x and brother y?"
How young were you when you left? Were you baptized? What position did your father have in the congregation? How long were they JWs?
OP: If your wife wants to contact me directly about anything I have said on this thread, I can provide references from Watchtower publications that support shunning, assocation, education and the aforementioned.0 -
Advertisement
-
Lillylilly wrote: »I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, and my experience was NOTHING like Escape's.
That doesn't mean its not an issue as I'm sure you understand. The issue's with the JW's are intrinsic to the organisation, and the weight of the problem does not lie in the anecdotal, but rather is accentuated by the anecdotal.My family are open, and loving and we didn't really have much relationships with fellow Witnesses outside of the Kingdom Hall
Same here. Though my folks never fully signed up, though my brother and sister did, but consequently seen the woods from the trees.Myself and my siblings had the same childhood as everyone else, the only difference was that we went to a bible study and two "meetings" (like mass) a week in the Kingdom Hall. We didn't celebrate birthdays, Christmas or involve ourselves in other religious (Catholic) ceremonies but other than that, we had the same childhood as everyone. We played on the road, we had fights, we attended parties, had mobile phones, we ate sweets, we watched TV etc. We weren't consumed by the religion, which is often the portrayal of Jehovah's Witnesses in the public.
Indeed, this is to do with your parents. You thankfully had parents that weren't so absorbed in the JW's that the above things were issues. Similarly, my parents were seeking God, and found much in the arms of the JW's for a time. Thankfully, they were never fully comfortable with it all though, and thus we were spared the full consequence of being a JW family.I stopped attending the meetings as a teen, as all of my siblings did, as we were given a choice on whether or not we wished to continue. We chose not to, and it did not have ANY effect on our relationships with our parents or the people who we met in the Kingdom Hall. My parents (not practicing anymore) still have friends from the congregation who they see regularly. We were never discouraged not to have friends outside of the Kingdom Hall.
Tell me, do you still refer to it as 'the truth'?I hate reading stuff like Escape has written, as it is a different world to the one I knew. I was never aware of any bullying or coercian and my folk's wouldn't have experience of that either.
Well, I can tell you categorically that it happens. Regularly!I said it in another thread in the past, but I REALLY believe that there must be some oldschool elders who run congregations like they are in the dark ages. I have never witnessed anything like Escape said.
Did you know that Elders have a book that they get when they become an elder? Something just for them. A specific book for their new role. Interesting things in that book. Things like 'marking' etc. I understand that it feels like it hasn't impacted your life in any tangible way, but that does not lessen the issues within the organisation. Also, if you still think of it as 'the truth', then it most certainly has impacted you.0
Advertisement