Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

GalwayKiefer

dazftw wrote: »

"so new tattoo on the way at end of june, any ideas on what to get? "

http://community.eu.playstation.com/t5/image/serverpage/image-id/20065i6F045AC638D3C2D4/image-size/original?v=mpbl-1&px=-1

GalwayKiefer

"Facebook person is a lover not a fighter, but he's also a fighter so don't get any ideas!"

Dr. Jonathan Crane

Not a status but if I notice your information says you work at Hooters or The Playboy Mansion then I will delete or decline you.

Unless you're really, really attractive.

danniemcq

for people who don't like facebook tracking them there are heaps of addons now available for both Chrome and Firefox.

very handy and stops any of those trackers following you around (anywhere you see the facebook like buttons on any other website facebook is tracking you EVEN if you are not logged in)

Fighting Irish

massdebater wrote: »

Thanks for that. Just after finding the page so I can troll them!

:rolleyes:

Richard Hillman

Welcome to the underclasses

Girl 1: Well government are making single parents who dont have the child's father on there birthcert to do it oh


Girl 2: I think thats a disgrace wot bout the girls who dont know the father... Or the fathers that dont give a rats bout their kids


Girl 1: Dunno just said there been forced to name every child has a right do now there father they said spa's cos i no plenty who dont give a ****.. Goverment are pricks...


Girl 3: Shocking carry on.. some don't deserve it at al.


Girl 4: Nobody can force any bird inte doin anytin! Government wud wana cough up wat dey stole from d mouths of kids an leave young ones alone! Scumbags


Girl 1: Looked it up em mothers that dont no are fine just the ones who do as there sayin kids could grow up and be with a sibling r a cousin .... But i ain't the mothers fault if d da is a wanker an doesn't wanna no wat d goverment gonna do get d girls to name dem den wat go looking for the fathers an force dem to be around... Some kids haven't known there da for years an d goverment want to just mess with there heads after years not right children should b told when there older and den make up Der mind not forced on den when they dont no wats going on and how wrong it was of tat dad to do a runner ****in ****


Girl 5: do wat?


Girl 6: How can u not know who the da of ur baby is talk about being a slut! I tink it's for the father to support his child so the government don't have to!!



Girl 4: "Girl 1" WER DID YE READ UP BOUT DAT



Girl 1: Just typed it in on Google. "Girl 6" fellas an girls have one night stands tat does not make dem a slut cant go calling people sluts cos they went out one night had sex an wasn't looking for more so didn't bother getting number den fell pregnant and couldn't find tat young lad plenty girls do it an fellas so these things happen... Ta da's should but u cant force dem they miss out tats Der look out cos they b missing out on a great thing


Girl 4: "Girl 1" i fully agree wit ye ::::)


Girl 6: Very smart girls going out sleeping with a random fella without a condom if a fella is willing for a one night stand without a condom how many times has he done that before and vice versa STD central station!! I'd be mortified to tell my child I duno who there da is but have safe sex !


Girl 1: Ya fair enough plenty people have got pregnant wearing condoms.. Wouldn't wanna do it myself but things happen in a mad moment and u cant change it does not make tat person a bad one . Life's full mistakes an its d ones u make tat get ya were ya are today cos has done me . Your mistakes are ur life's lesson


Girl 4: PMSL jus coz you maynot be havn one nite stands doesnt giv ye any rite te bad mouth deh burds dat do!!!!!!!!!! whos te say it'll never happen te ye?? **** happens and always will



Girl 4: dats yor opinion but snap outta bad mouthn burds dat dont no who deh da's are coz one day it cud happen te you .......... ye may tell yorself it wont but who no's wat temora brings!!!!!! **** happens ;dats life;


Girl 6: Even if I was to have a one night stand I'd use that brain of mine and tell them to put a condom on!! Because I don't want to have a child with some fella I just met or be stuck with an STD that will ruin my life and kill my chances of ever having kids, they can do what they want it's just very clearly stupid u duno who or wat he's been with!


Girl 6: Trust me it would never happen to me a little thing call the morning after pill would help that IF it was to happen


Girl 4: understandable!!!!!!! but so is been in deh heat of deh moment......

Girl 4: dont get me rong der is burds dat point blank dont giva **** bougt goin out an cathcn stds an getn poled by god only knows who!!! but ders burds out der dat make mistakes too


Girl 6: Yeah I know that, suppose every girls different that would be the first thing I'd think of anyway


Girl 1: Ya and im just sayin about d ones tat got pregnant and did use Der head an wore a condom an it split some girls never do it abc the one time they do tat happens all i mean is ya Der is girls tat r sluts and Der is ones tat aren't an just was unlucky doesn't make her a slut .


Girl 6: Morning after pill ! Problem sorted,


Girl 1: Ya there is girls who never get fellas wanting Dem Der out an some fella cant score wit a bird so looks for one e no will so she thinks someone actually likes me an goes off cos she needs d boost r wat ever other people aren't as smart r pretty as other girls and one fella show interest so they jump on the chance were other girls will have d brain to say no life is ****ed up


Girl 4: doesnt work for everybody sure im pregnant as we speak an i wor on d pill


Girl 1: Ya but if u dont no d condom broke r something i dunno and u think u won't ya dont get mornin after pill it just happens people dont think an tats there mistake to learn from


girl 6: Well If a fella showed me interest I wouldn't jump on it make them work for it! Every girl is different though! Sure if the morning after pill doesnt work there's alway abortion but each to there own


Girl 4: pmsl i hav te geroff dis me blood pressure is hitn deh roof LITERALTY


Girl 7: They just want all fathers to pay for there kids so when there name is on the birth cert they can b brought to court


Girl 4: AN SO DEY SHUD DRAG DEH ***** DEH COURRT:) gud enuf for deh bastards



Girl 1: Ya.. And Der is some girls out Der tat it would b better that they didn't no who the child's father is and i no tat from experience some kids dont need to no esp d ones tat Der da doesn't give a **** cos all about dem an **** anyone else den Der r ones tat do try an there stopped by the mother its fellas an girls they both either stop d da r d da doesn't wanna no.


Girl: 4 are ye for real speakn on abortions??? ****n shockn stuff


Girl 6: Like I said each to there own!!


Girl 4: im 8months pregnant dont be talkn bout poxy abortions i find it highly disgracefulll


Girl 6: Well some girls get them but I'm not judging its there life they do it if they want to like I said each to there own

Mother of jaysis these people are all in their late to early 20s. Girl 6 seems like the only one with a bit of intelligence or literacy ffs. These are the type of people that are breeding more and more and ruining the country

More Girls 6's, less girl 4's and 1's.

djflawless

a friend updated 'goodbye facebook...'nothing but hurt and pain from 'friends'.nothing worth hanging around for'



10 min later....'new fb account..omg add me!!!''
twat with a capital kunt!!!

SheFiend

Hillman ; That was one of the most badly written, ignorant, faith-in-the-human-race destroying pieces of conversation I have ever read. I'm shocked on a number of levels. And disappointed.

Michael Weston

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Welcome to the underclasses



Mother of jaysis these people are all in their late to early 20s. Girl 6 seems like the only one with a bit of intelligence or literacy ffs. These are the type of people that are breeding more and more and ruining the country

More Girls 6's, less girl 4's and 1's.

Good lord, girl 4 has the spelling ability of a seven year old and the intelligence of a monkey. Fair play to girl 6 for restoring some kind of faith in "the young wans". That was hard reading but strangely enough I wanted more:eek:

languagenerd

[Person]: F*CK OFF COUGH at IN MY CHEST.


Most pointless tagging of location ever?

milltown

massdebater wrote: »

Thanks for that. Just after finding the page so I can troll them!

I couldn't help myself either

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Welcome to the underclasses



Mother of jaysis these people are all in their late to early 20s. Girl 6 seems like the only one with a bit of intelligence or literacy ffs. These are the type of people that are breeding more and more and ruining the country

A cast iron case for the introduction of a "20-odd years after" pill.

iCosmopolis

Has been mentioned before, but those "like if you're against..like if you hate....need to get x amount of likes" does my head in..

Ensti

These are all from the same person...

1) strongly tinkn bou getn a ticket fr d haye fight in july ovr ta london fr d weeknd be smeting else tink i no wa i wnt fr me bday nw :-D:-D

2) does any1 no wa d numbr is ya put in frnt of a numbr wen yer ringn d uk ??

3) flakd ou wi runaway bride jus ata startn waitn on me mas sexy sunday dinr gna b milt . . had a great ni wi me chick las ni lv er ta bits ♥ . . happy sunday dudes :-D — at Chillin' In My Cosy Bed:-)

4) Woo me sunbed came tis mrn me first session dne inal cnt wait ta get me colour :-) — at Darndale

That explains it :rolleyes:

krudler

Ensti wrote: »

These are all from the same person...

1) strongly tinkn bou getn a ticket fr d haye fight in july ovr ta london fr d weeknd be smeting else tink i no wa i wnt fr me bday nw :-D:-D

2) does any1 no wa d numbr is ya put in frnt of a numbr wen yer ringn d uk ??

3) flakd ou wi runaway bride jus ata startn waitn on me mas sexy sunday dinr gna b milt . . had a great ni wi me chick las ni lv er ta bits ♥ . . happy sunday dudes :-D — at Chillin' In My Cosy Bed:-)

4) Woo me sunbed came tis mrn me first session dne inal cnt wait ta get me colour :-) — at Darndale

That explains it :rolleyes:

the fcuk does any of that say?

Turtwig

krudler wrote: »

the fcuk does any of that say?

I'm actually seriously considering creating a translation app for this ****. Alas, the problem I fear is that the error "Does not compute" would appear far too often. It'd be a genius program that would understand the expansive realms of stupidity.

im invisible

Linguo?! dead!


Linguo IS dead

languagenerd

krudler wrote: »

the fcuk does any of that say?

You have to read it aloud in a thick skanger accent :P

Medusa22

Ok, so I mightn't be great for sympathising with people who have minor ailments and post them on facebook. I have a lung condition and don't feel the need to post about being on IV antibiotics every 2 months or so, or any other information about my illness, so I really don't see why people feel the need to tell everyone about every cough, cold, sneeze they've had on FB, it drives me crazy.

''Oh my god, feeling so so sick today, don't know how much more I can handle, had this cold for three weeks now, I can't handle this anymore''.

These people have no idea what being ill is.

The Snipe

milltown wrote: »

I couldn't help myself either



A cast iron case for the introduction of a "20-odd years after" pill.

Yay Cyanide is going to be legalized again! Now I can make my factory public!

The Snipe

Medusa22 wrote: »

Ok, so I mightn't be great for sympathising with people who have minor ailments and post them on facebook. I have a lung condition and don't feel the need to post about being on IV antibiotics every 2 months or so, or any other information about my illness, so I really don't see why people feel the need to tell everyone about every cough, cold, sneeze they've had on FB, it drives me crazy.

''Oh my god, feeling so so sick today, don't know how much more I can handle, had this cold for three weeks now, I can't handle this anymore''.

These people have no idea what being ill is.

It goes more like... Oh I'm dying sick, I'll never drink again!

Week later...

Same status...

So its not just complaining about illness, its all self-inflicted illness.

Memory Of 98

A girl that I went to school with recently informed facebook that she was pregnant.

By posting pictures of the soiled pregnancy tests that she had just urinated all over.

Thwip!

krudler wrote: »

the fcuk does any of that say?

1) Strongly thinking about getting a ticket for the Haye fight in July. Over to London for the weekend would be something else. I think I know what I want for my birthday (the day my parents have come to view as being the day which they should eternally beg forgiveness for allowing to happen) now :-D:-D

2) Does anyone know what the number is you put in front of a number when you're ringing the U.K. ??(I asked my mother and she said she was the wrong person to ask because, were she ever able to make any sort of contact with the U.K, then I wouldn't be here in the first place to ask such a grammatically flawed question)

3) Flacked (??) out with Runaway Bride just after starting waiting on me mother's sexy sunday dinner (Yes i really did just say that I find food sexually appealing) going to be milt(mint??) . . Had a great night with my lady friend last night love her to bits ♥ (but not enough to use fully formed words). Happy Sunday dudes :-D — @ Chilling In My Cosy Bed:-)

4) *Exclaim of happiness* My sunbed came this morning, my first session done and all. I cant wait to get my colour :-) (Now I'm colourfully recognizable as a dumb-ass) — at Darndale

Translated

LylaElise

I have a raging hypochondriac of a friend on facebook. Her posts do my head in.

Every second day its "oh really don't feel well, why did I get out of bed" " this headache needs to go away now" or "feel so nauseous" etc.

What debilitating illness or disease does she have...she's lactose intolerant.Yep, thats it,nothing else. I figure her posts could be worse,given the nature of the condition she could be detailing how much gas she releases each day....ugh now I feel nauseous.

How so Joe

jpcarlow wrote: »

1) Strongly thinking about getting a ticket for the Haye fight in July. Over to London for the weekend would be something else. I think I know what I want for my birthday (the day my parents have come to view as being the day which they should eternally beg forgiveness for allowing to happen) now :-D:-D

2) Does anyone know what the number is you put in front of a number when you're ringing the U.K. ??(I asked my mother and she said she was the wrong person to ask because, were she ever able to make any sort of contact with the U.K, then I wouldn't be here in the first place to ask such a grammatically flawed question)

3) Flacked (??) out with Runaway Bride just after starting waiting on me mother's sexy sunday dinner (Yes i really did just say that I find food sexually appealing) going to be milt(mint??) . . Had a great night with my lady friend last night love her to bits ♥ (but not enough to use fully formed words). Happy Sunday dudes :-D — @ Chilling In My Cosy Bed:-)

4) *Exclaim of happiness* My sunbed came this morning, my first session done and all. I cant wait to get my colour :-) (Now I'm colourfully recognizable as a dumb-ass) — at Darndale

Translated

flaked out, I think, rather than flacked.

wonderfulname

“Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.

It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.”

Best copy and paste status I've come across.

wildlifeboy

the Sunday Dinner will be milt (meaning eaten vigorously)

Ensti

jpcarlow wrote: »

1) Strongly thinking about getting a ticket for the Haye fight in July. Over to London for the weekend would be something else. I think I know what I want for my birthday (the day my parents have come to view as being the day which they should eternally beg forgiveness for allowing to happen) now :-D:-D

2) Does anyone know what the number is you put in front of a number when you're ringing the U.K. ??(I asked my mother and she said she was the wrong person to ask because, were she ever able to make any sort of contact with the U.K, then I wouldn't be here in the first place to ask such a grammatically flawed question)

3) Flacked (??) out with Runaway Bride just after starting waiting on me mother's sexy sunday dinner (Yes i really did just say that I find food sexually appealing) going to be milt(mint??) . . Had a great night with my lady friend last night love her to bits ♥ (but not enough to use fully formed words). Happy Sunday dudes :-D — @ Chilling In My Cosy Bed:-)

4) *Exclaim of happiness* My sunbed came this morning, my first session done and all. I cant wait to get my colour :-) (Now I'm colourfully recognizable as a dumb-ass) — at Darndale

Translated

4/10 for effort :pac:

Ensti

Saw this today,

Ntn betr than a chicken fillet rol wi cheese n taco sauce ta start d day nw i need a nap nt able fr these early mrnings — at Chillin' In My Cosy Bed:-)

What. the. fúck?

And this,

Mad owl ni n mrn sme buz swear . . Any1 wna take me for dinr marvin ! . . — at Chillin' In My Cosy Bed:-)

Memory Of 98

I know a chap, real simple kind, easily amused.He joined the RDF, Reserve Defence Forces and is quite confused, he thinks he is in the real army.

Once a week my FaceBook feed.

Cant wait fir wrk 2 b ovr hav 2 go trainin with d ARMY`!

Or

Ah man, a hole week since I was trainin with d ARMY!

The best one though was when his unit were going out for a hike in the woods for a few hours one morning and he posted.

Deployin with D ARMY in d mornin! ye better hope I cum back in 1 piece

AnnaVanilla

This ex-colleague of mine posts the most exciting updates every day, such as this one from yesterday:

"Busy day, left work early, [daughter] ortho appt for her braces, now her mouth is super sore, made supper and then went to zumba class."

But the one today is my favourite so far I think:

"Went a bought black dirt for the front of the house, they put on big load in the truck and a little one as well. Now we need to buy more black dirt, now the truck is all dirty in the truck bed with muddy black dirt."