Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

im invisible

Linguo?! dead!


Linguo IS dead

languagenerd

krudler wrote: »

the fcuk does any of that say?

You have to read it aloud in a thick skanger accent :P

Medusa22

Ok, so I mightn't be great for sympathising with people who have minor ailments and post them on facebook. I have a lung condition and don't feel the need to post about being on IV antibiotics every 2 months or so, or any other information about my illness, so I really don't see why people feel the need to tell everyone about every cough, cold, sneeze they've had on FB, it drives me crazy.

''Oh my god, feeling so so sick today, don't know how much more I can handle, had this cold for three weeks now, I can't handle this anymore''.

These people have no idea what being ill is.

The Snipe

milltown wrote: »

I couldn't help myself either



A cast iron case for the introduction of a "20-odd years after" pill.

Yay Cyanide is going to be legalized again! Now I can make my factory public!

The Snipe

Medusa22 wrote: »

Ok, so I mightn't be great for sympathising with people who have minor ailments and post them on facebook. I have a lung condition and don't feel the need to post about being on IV antibiotics every 2 months or so, or any other information about my illness, so I really don't see why people feel the need to tell everyone about every cough, cold, sneeze they've had on FB, it drives me crazy.

''Oh my god, feeling so so sick today, don't know how much more I can handle, had this cold for three weeks now, I can't handle this anymore''.

These people have no idea what being ill is.

It goes more like... Oh I'm dying sick, I'll never drink again!

Week later...

Same status...

So its not just complaining about illness, its all self-inflicted illness.

Memory Of 98

A girl that I went to school with recently informed facebook that she was pregnant.

By posting pictures of the soiled pregnancy tests that she had just urinated all over.

Thwip!

krudler wrote: »

the fcuk does any of that say?

1) Strongly thinking about getting a ticket for the Haye fight in July. Over to London for the weekend would be something else. I think I know what I want for my birthday (the day my parents have come to view as being the day which they should eternally beg forgiveness for allowing to happen) now :-D:-D

2) Does anyone know what the number is you put in front of a number when you're ringing the U.K. ??(I asked my mother and she said she was the wrong person to ask because, were she ever able to make any sort of contact with the U.K, then I wouldn't be here in the first place to ask such a grammatically flawed question)

3) Flacked (??) out with Runaway Bride just after starting waiting on me mother's sexy sunday dinner (Yes i really did just say that I find food sexually appealing) going to be milt(mint??) . . Had a great night with my lady friend last night love her to bits ♥ (but not enough to use fully formed words). Happy Sunday dudes :-D — @ Chilling In My Cosy Bed:-)

4) *Exclaim of happiness* My sunbed came this morning, my first session done and all. I cant wait to get my colour :-) (Now I'm colourfully recognizable as a dumb-ass) — at Darndale

Translated

LylaElise

I have a raging hypochondriac of a friend on facebook. Her posts do my head in.

Every second day its "oh really don't feel well, why did I get out of bed" " this headache needs to go away now" or "feel so nauseous" etc.

What debilitating illness or disease does she have...she's lactose intolerant.Yep, thats it,nothing else. I figure her posts could be worse,given the nature of the condition she could be detailing how much gas she releases each day....ugh now I feel nauseous.

How so Joe

jpcarlow wrote: »

1) Strongly thinking about getting a ticket for the Haye fight in July. Over to London for the weekend would be something else. I think I know what I want for my birthday (the day my parents have come to view as being the day which they should eternally beg forgiveness for allowing to happen) now :-D:-D

2) Does anyone know what the number is you put in front of a number when you're ringing the U.K. ??(I asked my mother and she said she was the wrong person to ask because, were she ever able to make any sort of contact with the U.K, then I wouldn't be here in the first place to ask such a grammatically flawed question)

3) Flacked (??) out with Runaway Bride just after starting waiting on me mother's sexy sunday dinner (Yes i really did just say that I find food sexually appealing) going to be milt(mint??) . . Had a great night with my lady friend last night love her to bits ♥ (but not enough to use fully formed words). Happy Sunday dudes :-D — @ Chilling In My Cosy Bed:-)

4) *Exclaim of happiness* My sunbed came this morning, my first session done and all. I cant wait to get my colour :-) (Now I'm colourfully recognizable as a dumb-ass) — at Darndale

Translated

flaked out, I think, rather than flacked.

wonderfulname

“Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.

It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.”

Best copy and paste status I've come across.

wildlifeboy

the Sunday Dinner will be milt (meaning eaten vigorously)

Ensti

jpcarlow wrote: »

1) Strongly thinking about getting a ticket for the Haye fight in July. Over to London for the weekend would be something else. I think I know what I want for my birthday (the day my parents have come to view as being the day which they should eternally beg forgiveness for allowing to happen) now :-D:-D

2) Does anyone know what the number is you put in front of a number when you're ringing the U.K. ??(I asked my mother and she said she was the wrong person to ask because, were she ever able to make any sort of contact with the U.K, then I wouldn't be here in the first place to ask such a grammatically flawed question)

3) Flacked (??) out with Runaway Bride just after starting waiting on me mother's sexy sunday dinner (Yes i really did just say that I find food sexually appealing) going to be milt(mint??) . . Had a great night with my lady friend last night love her to bits ♥ (but not enough to use fully formed words). Happy Sunday dudes :-D — @ Chilling In My Cosy Bed:-)

4) *Exclaim of happiness* My sunbed came this morning, my first session done and all. I cant wait to get my colour :-) (Now I'm colourfully recognizable as a dumb-ass) — at Darndale

Translated

4/10 for effort :pac:

Ensti

Saw this today,

Ntn betr than a chicken fillet rol wi cheese n taco sauce ta start d day nw i need a nap nt able fr these early mrnings — at Chillin' In My Cosy Bed:-)

What. the. fúck?

And this,

Mad owl ni n mrn sme buz swear . . Any1 wna take me for dinr marvin ! . . — at Chillin' In My Cosy Bed:-)

Memory Of 98

I know a chap, real simple kind, easily amused.He joined the RDF, Reserve Defence Forces and is quite confused, he thinks he is in the real army.

Once a week my FaceBook feed.

Cant wait fir wrk 2 b ovr hav 2 go trainin with d ARMY`!

Or

Ah man, a hole week since I was trainin with d ARMY!

The best one though was when his unit were going out for a hike in the woods for a few hours one morning and he posted.

Deployin with D ARMY in d mornin! ye better hope I cum back in 1 piece

AnnaVanilla

This ex-colleague of mine posts the most exciting updates every day, such as this one from yesterday:

"Busy day, left work early, [daughter] ortho appt for her braces, now her mouth is super sore, made supper and then went to zumba class."

But the one today is my favourite so far I think:

"Went a bought black dirt for the front of the house, they put on big load in the truck and a little one as well. Now we need to buy more black dirt, now the truck is all dirty in the truck bed with muddy black dirt."

Mensch Maschine

Memory Of 98 wrote: »

I know a chap, real simple kind, easily amused.He joined the RDF, Reserve Defence Forces and is quite confused, he thinks he is in the real army.

Once a week my FaceBook feed.

Cant wait fir wrk 2 b ovr hav 2 go trainin with d ARMY`!

Or

Ah man, a hole week since I was trainin with d ARMY!

The best one though was when his unit were going out for a hike in the woods for a few hours one morning and he posted.

Deployin with D ARMY in d mornin! ye better hope I cum back in 1 piece

I know people like these. Usually they lack some thing in their lives. Annoys the weird pedestal people have for THE ARMY.

Canard

This is not a joke. He deleted the status shortly after and all.

"Ugh hate when your tryna have a **** and people keep comin in !! **** off like !!"

WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT ON FACEBOOK?!

Dunny

Why not?

Fluorescence

I would bet good money that's a frape

Oscars Well.

Patchy~ wrote: »

This is not a joke. He deleted the status shortly after and all.

"Ugh hate when your tryna have a **** and people keep comin in !! **** off like !!"

WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT ON FACEBOOK?!

Has to be a frape!! :pac:

Riddle101

Memory Of 98 wrote: »

I know a chap, real simple kind, easily amused.He joined the RDF, Reserve Defence Forces and is quite confused, he thinks he is in the real army.

Once a week my FaceBook feed.

Cant wait fir wrk 2 b ovr hav 2 go trainin with d ARMY`!

Or

Ah man, a hole week since I was trainin with d ARMY!

The best one though was when his unit were going out for a hike in the woods for a few hours one morning and he posted.

Deployin with D ARMY in d mornin! ye better hope I cum back in 1 piece

Sounds like he's just joking around tbh. Some people call the RDF the army as a sort of tongue in cheek thing, not actually meaning they're in the PDF. My friends used to joke with me a bit when I used to be in the RDF. They'd say stuff like, "Are you still with the army? "When is your next weekend with army?"

Memory Of 98

Riddle101 wrote: »

Sounds like he's just joking around tbh. Some people call the RDF the army as a sort of tongue in cheek thing, not actually meaning they're in the PDF. My friends used to joke with me a bit when I used to be in the RDF. They'd say stuff like, "Are you still with the army? "When is your next weekend with army?"

No, he is quite serious. He is the kind of chap that gives the Reserves a very bad name. Very immature and banal.

Ensti

Sweet fuck

Lik T Congradulate Me Bro An His Girlfriend On Ter Baby Nws!! Cant Wai.. Nevr Though Id B An Aunty Woooooo ))

Ensti

Sweet fuck;

Lik T Congradulate Me Bro An His Girlfriend On Ter Baby Nws!! Cant Wai.. Nevr Though Id B An Aunty Woooooo ))

batistuta9

Ensti wrote: »

Sweet fuck;

Lik T Congradulate Me Bro An His Girlfriend On Ter Baby Nws!! Cant Wai.. Nevr Though Id B An Aunty Woooooo ))

how is this a dumb status?

blow69

batistuta9 wrote: »

how is this a dumb status?

The complete lack of grasp for the English language.





Just a theory.

MrStuffins

batistuta9 wrote: »

how is this a dumb status?

I dn oh bu am gessin' da its bucuz da pursen da rited eh duznt no how ta rite in proper inglis!

Thwip!

MrStuffins wrote: »

I dn oh bu am gessin' da its bucuz da pursen da rited eh duznt no how ta rite in proper inglis!

i feel terrible for understanding this

Ensti

batistuta9 wrote: »

how is this a dumb status?

Are you kidding me?

im invisible

batistuta9 wrote: »

how is this a dumb status?

eh, look at the title of the thread, 'Dumb/Great Facebook Status...'