Single women 'on the lookout for a man'

coffee_cake

NickDrake wrote: »

A lot of Irish women are so very difficult to chat up.

They have high notions about themselves.

Therefore they arrive in their early 30's and realise they don't have a husband.

Pretty pathetic really.

Some Irish men are idiots but it is a hard job for some many of us.

lol
you're right, next time I'm grabbed or told I have notions about myself, I should accept I'm being chatted up and comply :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
no wonder you have no luck with that attitude

Wolfe Tone

Last week I was out in a club, I was in the beer garden and the lads I was with headed off to the bar/jacks, I was left on my own, so I decided to go talk to some people instead of standing around like a tool, saw a group of girls beside me, they were all chatting and laughing, seemed friendly so I went over to say hello.
I said something along the lines of "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar" with a smile. What was wrong with that? Not much I thought. You would have thought I had said I was a paedophile, the "dominant" one in the group said"No, I don't think so", while looking me up and down. That type of sh!t is depressing. I just laughed and said "guess I was wrong about the friendly bit" and walked away. I was pretty hurt though and it wrecked my night.
Wouldn't be quick to try that again.

Princess Peach

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Last week I was out in a club, I was in the beer garden and the lads I was with headed off to the bar/jacks, I was left on my own, so I decided to go talk to some people instead of standing around like a tool, saw a group of girls beside me, they were all chatting and laughing, seemed friendly so I went over to say hello.
I said something along the lines of "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar" with a smile. What was wrong with that? Not much I thought. You would have thought I had said I was a paedophile, the "dominant" one in the group said"No, I don't think so", while looking me up and down. That type of sh!t is depressing. I just laughed and said "guess I was wrong about the friendly bit" and walked away. I was pretty hurt though and it wrecked my night.
Wouldn't be quick to try that again.

Well it doesn't sound like you missed out on much, they don't seem like nice girls, stuck up would be the word I'd use! I'll always chat to a lad if he seems genuine, like you just said mind if I chat to you, thats a great opener! I just always seem to get creeps giving my cheesy lines while they rub my back *shudders*

So don't give up. Just be nice and friendly and chat to girls. I just don't like the lads who make it really obvious they're out on the pull if you get me. A lad who wants to chat seems like he's genuinely interested in getting to know you, and just wants to meet new people on a night out.

Don't let one group of b*tches put you off!

Maguined

There are plenty of stuck up women in clubs that are nasty, there are also plenty of aggressive asshole men in clubs.

Conversely there are also plenty of nice friendly men and women in clubs so who cares if you run into a bad one of either gender, write them off and enjoy the rest of the night, people don't owe nice manners to you, so why should it matter?

Rabble Rabble

EricPraline wrote: »

No matter what angle I look at this, I can't see how the situation is any different for a man. If what you say is true and a man is asking a woman out, would he not be putting himself in exactly the same position? Does it mean he doesn't know if she'll stick around when the going gets tough - you know, when he loses his job, gets ill, or has difficulties with his family? Or does the going only ever get tough for a woman?

I don't mean to be critical, but to me it sounds like you're not prepared to risk rejection, and would prefer if a man puts himself on the line first. That's fine, but it's a massive leap to say that the success of any relationship during difficult times will depend on who asked whom out months or years before. A few anecdotes don't justify that leap.

She answered that - the cost of a relationship is greater for a woman. A woman will often act hard to get for that reason, subconsciously she is testing the guy to see if he really likes her.

Maguined

How is the cost of a relationship more for a woman? Going up to a person and asking them and asking them out has the same risk of rejection for either gender?

Wolfe Tone

Princess Peach wrote: »

Well it doesn't sound like you missed out on much, they don't seem like nice girls, stuck up would be the word I'd use! I'll always chat to a lad if he seems genuine, like you just said mind if I chat to you, thats a great opener! I just always seem to get creeps giving my cheesy lines while they rub my back *shudders*

So don't give up. Just be nice and friendly and chat to girls. I just don't like the lads who make it really obvious they're out on the pull if you get me. A lad who wants to chat seems like he's genuinely interested in getting to know you, and just wants to meet new people on a night out.

Don't let one group of b*tches put you off!

Yeah, I wasnt even on the pull, I just wanted to chat while my mates were gone, meet new people as you said.

Maguined wrote: »

There are plenty of stuck up women in clubs that are nasty, there are also plenty of aggressive asshole men in clubs.

Conversely there are also plenty of nice friendly men and women in clubs so who cares if you run into a bad one of either gender, write them off and enjoy the rest of the night, people don't owe nice manners to you, so why should it matter?

Thats easier said than done tbh.

Larianne

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Last week I was out in a club, I was in the beer garden and the lads I was with headed off to the bar/jacks, I was left on my own, so I decided to go talk to some people instead of standing around like a tool, saw a group of girls beside me, they were all chatting and laughing, seemed friendly so I went over to say hello.
I said something along the lines of "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar" with a smile. What was wrong with that? Not much I thought. You would have thought I had said I was a paedophile, the "dominant" one in the group said"No, I don't think so", while looking me up and down. That type of sh!t is depressing. I just laughed and said "guess I was wrong about the friendly bit" and walked away. I was pretty hurt though and it wrecked my night.
Wouldn't be quick to try that again.

See this is what happens and it becomes like a vicious circle. "Where are all the nice guys???" They are over in the corner chatting with their mates because its crap like that that puts fellas off going over to talk to girls and why people like NickDrake get attitudes like "Irish girls are so hard to chat up". I can see the frustration of it all.

You have to look at it from both sides. As Bluewolf has pointed out, many Irish lads don't go up to a girl unless they've had a few to drink and who wants an incoherent yob coming onto them, guy or girl? It is this that causes some women to become very defensive no matter who comes over to chat to them - nice or not nice. A girl might have had 3 drunken eejits come up and approach her before a decent guy has and by that stage she probably is just not in the mood. I'm not saying that an excuse to being a complete bitch to someone. There is always a polite way of doing things. My friend, I don't even like going out with her any more the way she reacts when guys approach her. It puts a downer on the night. I have seen some women treat guys awfully when out. Making a complete show of them in front of others.

Then because of situations like this and what Mussolini has described above, which has happened to quite a few of my friends, decent guys don't approach girls any more.

Feck all that. If I see a guy I like I usually approach them these days. Whats there to lose! In fact I tend to just have the banter with everyone I'm out with. If I end up chatting with someone that I'm not interested in I make my excuses and wish them a good night. Just because you're in a pub or niteclub doesn't mean you have to lose all your manners!

Maguined

Its really not, why should you care about how some random person treats you? They are not your friends or family, they are total randomers so laugh them off and then go back to your friends and laugh about it, this will put you in a calm happy mood so if you end up talking to a bunch of nice women you will be in the right mindset rather than being angry and pissed off and giving off the wrong vibe.

Would you care so much if a random guy was rude to you on a night out as well?

Maddison

Have been single for the past 6 months after years of being in a relationship. Im perfectly happy being single as Its nice to spend some time just being on my own. Whenever my sister & I are going out she will say ''oh lets get you lookin all sexy and we'll find you a hot man''. I couldnt be bothered in the slightest!!One thing that is strange though is that when I was in a relationship i would have guys chatting me up, I get messages on boards(but I think this is more to do with how dirty I can come across!!) and also I get plenty of friend requests & messages from guys on Facebook. Since Ive been single I havent once been approached, I wouldnt consider myself to be unattractive. Maybe it is because I couldnt care less & I dont want to ''go on the pull''. My sis gives me the low down on how to look hot doing all this pouty crap....is it that some women just NEED attention in order to feel good about themselves? I suffer with self esteem issues but I certainly wont be going out with looking to have guys chat me up in order to make myself feel better.

killerking

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Last week I was out in a club, I was in the beer garden and the lads I was with headed off to the bar/jacks, I was left on my own, so I decided to go talk to some people instead of standing around like a tool, saw a group of girls beside me, they were all chatting and laughing, seemed friendly so I went over to say hello.
I said something along the lines of "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar" with a smile. What was wrong with that? Not much I thought. You would have thought I had said I was a paedophile, the "dominant" one in the group said"No, I don't think so", while looking me up and down. That type of sh!t is depressing. I just laughed and said "guess I was wrong about the friendly bit" and walked away. I was pretty hurt though and it wrecked my night.
Wouldn't be quick to try that again.

What you need to understand is that good looking women get hit on all the time and most of this attention is unwanted - they can't have drinks with, go on dates, have sex with or marry all the guys who go up to them and say "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar." They have experienced that same approach 100,000,000 billion trillion times before.
Maybe you shouldn't come across as so eager - you basically told them in so many words that you and your mates had no other plans for the evening and that you were ready on a moments notice to stay with these girls all night and they wouldn't have do any work.
No wonder they blew you off because you were demanding a commitment from them from the get-go. They didn't go out to hold court with you or your friends because they don't know you from Adam.

Maddison

killerking wrote: »

What you need to understand is that good looking women get hit on all the time and most of this attention is unwanted - they can't have drinks with, go on dates, have sex with or marry all the guys who go up to them and say "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar." They have experienced that same approach 100,000,000 billion trillion times before.
Maybe you shouldn't come across as so eager - you basically told them in so many words that you and your mates had no other plans for the evening and that you were ready on a moments notice to stay with these girls all night and they wouldn't have do any work.
No wonder they blew you off because you were demanding a commitment from them from the get-go. They didn't go out to hold court with you or your friends because they don't know you from Adam.

I think you are misreading his intentions, I dont think he was looking to pull any of them, just looking to chat to people to pass the time while waiting on his friends. I think the point he was trying to make was that some women ''assume'' that a guy is looking for something when hes only just looking to chat...there isnt always intention behind it and how snotty the girl was towards him.

Wolfe Tone

killerking wrote: »

What you need to understand is that good looking women get hit on all the time and most of this attention is unwanted - they can't have drinks with, go on dates, have sex with or marry all the guys who go up to them and say "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar." They have experienced that same approach 100,000,000 billion trillion times before.
Maybe you shouldn't come across as so eager - you basically told them in so many words that you and your mates had no other plans for the evening and that you were ready on a moments notice to stay with these girls all night and they wouldn't have do any work.
No wonder they blew you off because you were demanding a commitment from them from the get-go. They didn't go out to hold court with you or your friends because they don't know you from Adam.

I wanted someone to talk to when my mates where at the bar. And even if that wasnt the case I dont think it warranted the response.


So what you are saying is that I should go talk to the so called "ugly" girls?

Eve_Dublin

killerking wrote: »

What you need to understand is that good looking women get hit on all the time and most of this attention is unwanted - they can't have drinks with, go on dates, have sex with or marry all the guys who go up to them and say "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar." They have experienced that same approach 100,000,000 billion trillion times before.
Maybe you shouldn't come across as so eager - you basically told them in so many words that you and your mates had no other plans for the evening and that you were ready on a moments notice to stay with these girls all night and they wouldn't have do any work.
No wonder they blew you off because you were demanding a commitment from them from the get-go. They didn't go out to hold court with you or your friends because they don't know you from Adam.

They could´ve been nicer about it though. Mussolini sounded like he approached this women in a friendly way and didn´t deserve that put-down. You don´t treat anyone that way.

Saying that, I know myself when I´m out with girls that the cheesy come-ons can get a little draining. An honest question, if you had no interest in talking to a random fella (and you´re not obliged to), is there actually a nice way to phrase it? I usually say something like, "I´m just out with the girls tonight...were having a "no men allowed" night,sorry" and give a smile or something...unfortunately some guys wouldn´t accept this with dignity or don´t believe that women are happy enough in the company of their female friends. I think whatever you say will be picked up wrong. HOWEVER, these girls were particularly rude and there´s no excuse for that.

solerina

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Last week I was out in a club, I was in the beer garden and the lads I was with headed off to the bar/jacks, I was left on my own, so I decided to go talk to some people instead of standing around like a tool, saw a group of girls beside me, they were all chatting and laughing, seemed friendly so I went over to say hello.
I said something along the lines of "hey you guys seem friendly, mind if I stay and chat a while, just waiting for me mates to come back from the bar" with a smile. What was wrong with that? Not much I thought. You would have thought I had said I was a paedophile, the "dominant" one in the group said"No, I don't think so", while looking me up and down. That type of sh!t is depressing. I just laughed and said "guess I was wrong about the friendly bit" and walked away. I was pretty hurt though and it wrecked my night.
Wouldn't be quick to try that again.

You seem like you were just unlucky to bump into a group of total bitches, i notice only the queen bee spoke, the rest of the drones may have ben friendly if she kept her mouth shut...anyway not all women are like those, Im sorry it wrecked ur nite but dont give up, and do try it again....the decent girls out there will be delighted !!!

I wouldn't say I was always on the lookout, but I'd say that I when I'm single I'm always open to meeting a new guy, if you know what I mean?
Then again there are some times when I feel like I just want guys to leave me alone for a while - I'm sure men get them too, you just want to go out to have a good time and guys trying to approach you become a nuisance.

Eve_Dublin

And in response to the thread, I´m not on the look out for a potential boyfriend but I´d definitely keep an eye out for a handsome face. If I saw one I would happily find an excuse to approach them for a bit of harmless flirting and perhaps something more. I´m definitely not looking at him as boyfriend material, not at that stage.

Maddison

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

I wanted someone to talk to when my mates where at the bar. And even if that wasnt the case I dont think it warranted the response.


So what you are saying is that I should go talk to the so called "ugly" girls?

Its attitudes like that which make the female of the species look bad. My sister is a bitch for that, she is incredibly attractive and she will dance sexy with a guy and when he goes in for the kill she face palms them. Its dreadful, just because your attractive It doesnt give you the right to come on to a guy and then make a show of him when he tries it on.

Eve_Dublin

Maddison wrote: »

Its attitudes like that which make the female of the species look bad. My sister is a bitch for that, she is incredibly attractive and she will dance sexy with a guy and when he goes in for the kill she face palms them. Its dreadful, just because your attractive It doesnt give you the right to come on to a guy and then make a show of him when he tries it on.

What she going to do when her looks fade? She´ll still be stuck with a stinky attitude. I don´t mean to offend, but who does she think she is?

Maddison

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

What she going to do when her looks fade? She´ll still be stuck with a stinky attitude. I don´t mean to offend, but who does she think she is?

No joke...she has a tattoo with a queen bee on the back of her neck!
And no offence taken, Ive tried talking to her about it but she just laughs it off...Its how she gets her kicks.

coffee_cake

throw a glass of water at her next time she tries that
I mean just the water not the glass :pac:

Stevo1011

<snip>

Ickle Magoo

Okay Steve1011 is taking a permanent vacation from The Ladies Lounge...could any other posters wishing to indulge in a spot of crass generalisation and sweeping insults regarding women do so on an appropriate forum ie not this one.

Thanks.

Maguined

Maddison wrote: »

Its attitudes like that which make the female of the species look bad. My sister is a bitch for that, she is incredibly attractive and she will dance sexy with a guy and when he goes in for the kill she face palms them. Its dreadful, just because your attractive It doesnt give you the right to come on to a guy and then make a show of him when he tries it on.

No they don't, the actions of a few individuals does not reflect on an entire gender just those individuals themselves.

Maddison

Maguined wrote: »

No they don't, the actions of a few individuals does not reflect on an entire gender just those individuals themselves.

Mabey I worded It wrong but when you get knocked back like that by a member of the opposite sex It doesnt exactly give you the confidence to try again.

Wolfe Tone

Maguined wrote: »

Its really not, why should you care about how some random person treats you? They are not your friends or family, they are total randomers so laugh them off and then go back to your friends and laugh about it, this will put you in a calm happy mood so if you end up talking to a bunch of nice women you will be in the right mindset rather than being angry and pissed off and giving off the wrong vibe.

I know all that, but again it is easier said than done. I'm convinced if it was some really handsome bloke they wouldn't have reacted the same. So the fact that its just random people even makes it worse, as they would have no reason to act like bitches.

Would you care so much if a random guy was rude to you on a night out as well?

I have no doubt if it was a bunch of lads I went up to that would not have happened.

Eve_Dublin

Maddison wrote: »

Mabey I worded It wrong but when you get knocked back like that by a member of the opposite sex It doesnt exactly give you the confidence to try again.

I know what you´re saying but it shouldn´t. I´d put this experience down as a run in with some nasty PEOPLE. The world is full of them but having come across a fair few in my 30 years on this planet, I´ve grown a thicker skin. It´s a dog eat dog world. I wouldn´t view it as a gender issue because it´s not.

Silverfish

Maddison wrote: »

Mabey I worded It wrong but when you get knocked back like that by a member of the opposite sex It doesnt exactly give you the confidence to try again.

I disagree, I've been knocked back by loads of guys, it never stopped me chancing my arm with another. It's only people who view all of a gender by the actions of a few who have trouble with that, to be honest.

If that was the case, the first time any of us were dumped, cheated on, turned down, stood up, or slagged off, we'd barely managed to speak to a member of the opposite sex again. But yet somehow, the human race hasn't died out

Not all women are the same, not all men are the same, just cos some guy turns me down cos he 'doesn't date small birds' or 'sorry love, I only like blondes' or 'sorry love, I only like birds with decent tits, ahaha' doesn't mean they all think that, otherwise I'd have spent a lot more of my life single than I have done.

It's dead easy to just write it off as 'Oh, she said x so all women are bitches' or 'He said Y so all men are bastards' because it takes the onus off you a) having to up your game or b) picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and trying again.

Takes a lot more guts to just go 'Oh well, that person was not the right person for me', see it as it was, and move on.

Maddison

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I know what you´re saying but it shouldn´t. I´d put this experience down as a run in with some nasty PEOPLE. The world is full of them but having come across a fair few in my 30 years on this planet, I´ve grown a thicker skin. It´s a dog eat dog world. I wouldn´t view it as a gender issue because it´s not.

As I said I worded it wrong. I can see where Mussolini is coming from in a sense that Its difficult enough going up to random strangers trying to strike up friendly banter only to be knocked back like that. Its not great for the confidence. Ive worked in bars for years and Ive seen many a knock back and different ways people deal with them. Ive also seen many a guy/girl getting their comeuppence also. Karma is a bitch:)

killerking

solerina wrote: »

You seem like you were just unlucky to bump into a group of total bitches, i notice only the queen bee spoke, the rest of the drones may have ben friendly if she kept her mouth shut...anyway not all women are like those, Im sorry it wrecked ur nite but dont give up, and do try it again....the decent girls out there will be delighted !!!

Sorry but it must be said that there's is no rule that says women must talk to a man because the man is rather shy, is awkward around women he is attracted to, gets tongue tied and is intimidated when a 'queen bee' tells him in so many words to p*ss off. Calling women 'bitches' is certainly not going to remedy the situation either.

When Richard Burton and Liz Taylor were the most famous couple in the world they were literally attacked by screaming fans who tried tear off their hair and jewellery. Burton often attended film premieres with bloody fists because he had to smashed them in the face to get back out of their way.

A group of attractive women do not have to deal with that level of hassle but go out to any busy night club and you are sure to see a group of beautiful women who are literally under siege from men wherever the sit or are on the dance floor with men trying to feel them up and grind against them or when they are on the street walking home they find themselves followed by aggressive men who demand they allow them to take them home and have sex with them just because they might have accepted a drink or a light.

That's the level of unwanted attention women have to deal with not to mention at work they are under constant watch by sexually frustrated male colleagues who make incessant sexual innuendo.

This is why they are rude to 'nice' guys - they are just one more piece of hassle.