Single women 'on the lookout for a man'

John400

Hi ladies, the title of this thread is self explanatory in itself.! Just a wondering from me.. i hear this phrase being bandied about from time to time that single women are always 'on the lookout for a man', be it at work or when out socially etc.

Do you think that this is generally true?

starlit

Yes. I'm one of them!

red_ice

are these women blind? Every second person around them is a man, be it in work, or socially.

I saw a bunch of men last night in town. They were just standing around talking to each other - not hard to spot them.

I think they should go seek help from their doctors. Theres also a 50/50 chance that hes a man also

spider guardian

they exist, but the best place to look for them is meatspace, ie not here. dammit, for all i know most the ladies posting here could be dudes with their c0cks hanging out. such is darpanet

starlit

red_ice wrote: »

are these women blind? Every second person around them is a man, be it in work, or socially.

I saw a bunch of men last night in town. They were just standing around talking to each other - not hard to spot them.

I think they should go seek help from their doctors. Theres also a 50/50 chance that hes a man also

OP is referring to men who are seen as 'boyfriend/husband' material thats what the term means when a woman is on an lookout for a man! Of course sure nearly everyone meets people men/women etc everyday or most day or most places they go to, its stating the obvious its different when it comes to dating meeting men that way.

red_ice

oh god lol, im such a doofus!

Heres me thinking she only saw girls walkin around lol :pac:

The_Minister

red_ice wrote: »

are these women blind? Every second person around them is a man, be it in work, or socially.

I saw a bunch of men last night in town. They were just standing around talking to each other - not hard to spot them.

I think they should go seek help from their doctors. Theres also a 50/50 chance that hes a man also

red_ice wrote: »

oh god lol, im such a doofus!

Heres me thinking she only saw girls walkin around lol :pac:

I honestly have no idea if you are being sarcastic or not.

Novella

John400 wrote: »

Hi ladies, the title of this thread is self explanatory in itself.! Just a wondering from me.. i hear this phrase being bandied about from time to time that single women are always 'on the lookout for a man', be it at work or when out socially etc.

Do you think that this is generally true?

I dunno about generally, but it certainly isn't true for me. When I was single, I was never on the look out for a man, like ever. I'm not even just saying that. I was perfectly happy single, didn't feel the need to find someone and I was never actively on the look out for a boyfriend. Maybe some women are, but I'm sure just as many aren't.

mikemac

I moved to Belfast on my own on a postgrad. Didn't know a soul so became a lodger with a lady in her early 30's.

She and her friends went on nights out "husband hunting"
I cringed everytime I heard it.

Lia_lia

No.

red_ice

The_Minister wrote: »

I honestly have no idea if you are being sarcastic or not.

im havin a laugh!

Nozebleed

snuggles285 wrote: »

Yes. I'm one of them!

can i ask a question..you dont have to answer of course..im just curious..have you ever asked a guy out on a date? honestly..

rainbow kirby

Not all single women are constantly on the lookout for a man, that's (a) over-generalising and (b) heteronormative.

Princess Peach

I really don't like being single, but I can't say that I'm actively seeking a man. If a guy starts chatting to me, I'll chat back and we'll see how it goes, but I'm never one to make the first move at all. So I would really like a boyfriend, but I'm not really doing much to find one, if you get me!

johnr1

No they're not, Im on the lookout for a woman and they very scarce on the ground - at least where I live....clearly the back end of the beyonds

Dimitri

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Not all single women are constantly on the lookout for a man, that's (a) over-generalising and (b) heteronormative.

Can you elaborate on point....simply because i don't know what it means.

Walls

Dimitri wrote: »

Can you elaborate on point....simply because i don't know what it means.

It means that it is assuming all people are heterosexual and therefore seeking members of the opposite sex. Not all women like men and therefore shouldn't be assumed to be attracted to men.

I remember not really wanting to be in a relationship a lot of the time, usually the most I would have wanted is interesting conversation. Sure, sometimes a person seeks a relationship, but a lot of the time they aren't. Same as men, surely.

John400

Princess Peach wrote: »

I really don't like being single, but I can't say that I'm actively seeking a man. If a guy starts chatting to me, I'll chat back and we'll see how it goes, but I'm never one to make the first move at all. So I would really like a boyfriend, but I'm not really doing much to find one, if you get me!

I get you. I do think that a lot of girls probably have the same attitude as you, they're happy enough being single and if they meet the right guy be it socially or at work then so be it.

Nothing wrong with that really.

I find it interesting when you say 'i'm never one to make the first move at all', i'd guess that generally a lot of girls would be like that anyway.

Discodog

Princess Peach wrote: »

I really don't like being single, but I can't say that I'm actively seeking a man. If a guy starts chatting to me, I'll chat back and we'll see how it goes, but I'm never one to make the first move at all. So I would really like a boyfriend, but I'm not really doing much to find one, if you get me!

You sound like the majority of single Irish women. I think that it is a shame that a girl might see a guy that attracts her but would not make the first move. Whatever happened to Women's Lib & equality ?. I would love it if a woman made the first move.

Feeona

Discodog wrote: »

You sound like the majority of single Irish women. I think that it is a shame that a girl might see a guy that attracts her but would not make the first move. Whatever happened to Women's Lib & equality ?. I would love it if a woman made the first move.

I've done the asking men out thing because I'm aware it takes courage to go up to someone to ask them out and it didn't seem fair to me that men were always expected to do it!

It didn't feel right to do it though. And I started wondering why it didn't feel right. I've been mulling over this for a while so bear with me! A man will usually approach a woman with a view to eventually having children with her (expanding his gene pool, sowing his seed, call it what you will). It's physically and emotionally demanding to carry a child and to give birth. A woman would want to be sure that the man she's carrying for will stick around and support her. If she initially instigated the relationship, she can't be one hundred percent sure he will want to support her through the pregnancy and thereafter.

Maybe I'm way off the mark, and other women don't feel the same. But this rings true for me.

Discodog, you probably weren't looking for in depth analysis , but maybe it has something to do with why men are expected to make the first move (socially speaking)

Maguined

How can anyone commit themselves to sticking around for any potential future children when you don't even know the person?

No one can make such a commitment at such an early stage, asking someone out is merely making a commitment that you are interested in that person and you want to get to know them better to see if that initial interest can lead anywhere.

Wolfe Tone

Feeona wrote: »

I've done the asking men out thing because I'm aware it takes courage to go up to someone to ask them out and it didn't seem fair to me that men were always expected to do it!

It didn't feel right to do it though. And I started wondering why it didn't feel right. I've been mulling over this for a while so bear with me! A man will usually approach a woman with a view to eventually having children with her (expanding his gene pool, sowing his seed, call it what you will). It's physically and emotionally demanding to carry a child and to give birth. A woman would want to be sure that the man she's carrying for will stick around and support her. If she initially instigated the relationship, she can't be one hundred percent sure he will want to support her through the pregnancy and thereafter.

Maybe I'm way off the mark, and other women don't feel the same. But this rings true for me.

Discodog, you probably weren't looking for in depth analysis , but maybe it has something to do with why men are expected to make the first move (socially speaking)

lol wut






Thats a bit off the mark I think!

Oh_Noes

Most men aren't interested in the "on the lookout" type.

Up-n-atom!

Discodog wrote: »

You sound like the majority of single Irish women. I think that it is a shame that a girl might see a guy that attracts her but would not make the first move. Whatever happened to Women's Lib & equality ?. I would love it if a woman made the first move.

I'm a bit like Princess Peach - I'm single and I'd like to meet someone but I never really put myself out there - I want to start trying to make the first move when I meet someone I like - there probably have been situations in the past when I've decided I want to ask someone myself, but then another guy comes along and makes a move, like they generally do, and then I end up with a different guy that I don't necessarily like as much because it's easier!
Anyways, I'm trying to change this - I recently met a guy on a course I was doing that I really liked and I'd decided I was, for once, going to ask him out (at the end of course drinks session) which ended up not happening because of the weather, and now he's moved back West and I'll probably never know what he thinks *sigh!*

I'd be interested to know what guys in general think of girls making the first move...In general, I'm quite comfortable having male friends, so I suppose even when I like someone I'm not very forward about it!

Feeona

Maguined wrote: »

How can anyone commit themselves to sticking around for any potential future children when you don't even know the person?

No one can make such a commitment at such an early stage, asking someone out is merely making a commitment that you are interested in that person and you want to get to know them better to see if that initial interest can lead anywhere.

I certainly wouldnt make a commitment at such an early stage, nor would I expect anyone else to. It's just a theory I have based on my own experiences

The question of why most men are attracted to hour glass figures could also be asked. Or why most women are attracted to broad shouldered, tall men. These physical attributes are usually seen as signs of fertility, and latterly strength. We all pick up on subtle nuances when we're searching for someone we want to spend our lives with. I just think 'who asks who' is is another subtle nuance that's picked up on.

Cavehill Red

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Not all single women are constantly on the lookout for a man, that's (a) over-generalising and (b) heteronormative.

Oh, ffs! Hetero IS the norm. Even the most wildly fantastical surveys only put lesbians at c. 10% of female society.
That word has got to be one of the most loaded, yet meaningless phrases ever concocted by the PC brigade.
As for the OP's post, they're not wrong. There are plenty of women who don't feel complete without a partner, and hence the pursuit of one when they don't have one becomes a main event for them.
Equally, there are plenty of other women for whom this is not the case.

Feeona

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

lol wut

Thanks for that searing insight

Ah it's just my personal opinion based on my own experiences, that's all. Don't ask me for a link!

Maguined

True but I certainly would not take a man willingness to ask a woman out first as a greater indicator that he is a committed loyal person over a man that would not ask.

If anything I would imagine it would be the reverse, I would guess that shy guys statistically would be less likely to be uncommitted men as I think the "players" and other uncommitted men are far more likely to ask women out, they are doing it every weekend in clubs to as many women as they can in one night.

Feeona

Maguined wrote: »

True but I certainly would not take a man willingness to ask a woman out first as a greater indicator that he is a committed loyal person over a man that would not ask.

If anything I would imagine it would be the reverse, I would guess that shy guys statistically would be less likely to be uncommitted men as I think the "players" and other uncommitted men are far more likely to ask women out, they are doing it every weekend in clubs to as many women as they can in one night.

Well if they ask, you've the chance of getting to know them, and thus find out if they're a player or not. If they don't ask, you'll never find out but you'll still be on safe ground.

Maguined

Not really the opportunity to find out if they are committed you just ignore and pass by, you are just willing to spend the time getting to know a guy that asks you out based on the assumption that a shy guy is less likely to commit to you but I am not sure if this assumption is right.

I am not having a go at you and as you said it is just personal opinion as I doubt there is any real statistics so my own personal gut feeling is that the assumption that a man is willing to ask you out is indicative to his capacity to commit is not related in the slightest.

If you like a guy, ask him out and when you get to know him you will learn if he is a committed person or not, just the same as if a man asks you out you will learn if he is committed or not, don't eliminate your options but refusing to ask men you attracted to out.

Wolfe Tone

Feeona wrote: »

Thanks for that searing insight

Ah it's just my personal opinion based on my own experiences, that's all. Don't ask me for a link!

TBH I dont understand how a guy being shy would mean he wouldnt be likely to stay with the woman if she got pregnant!